"KK, thith ith the thtupidetht thing we have ever dethided to do. Ever. And we've done a lot of thtupid shit thinthe (since) we played ThGRUB."
"Sollux, you know this was not my idea. If I could express with mere words how idiotic this plan is, it would be one of Gamzee's dumbass miracles," Karkat Vantas ground out through clenched teeth.
"Aw, come on, guys, don't be like that," John said. "It'll be fun! I always loved school."
"If you liked it, it means I'm going to hate it," Karkat pointed out.
John was undisturbed. "Plus," he continued, "you won't get very far here on Earth without an education."
Karkat cursed a few more times as he fiddled with his amulet before putting it on. A flash of white light later, a short and ticked off human boy stood in the troll's place. "Oh my gog, I feel like a fucking idiot," he complained in Karkat's voice because he was, obviously, a transformed Karkat.
Sollux followed suit, initiating his own transformation. "I have no hornth," he commented, patting his head and adjusting his red-and-blue glasses.
"No shit," Karkat growled. "I don't either."
"Eh, yourth were tho nubby the differenth ithn't too extreme," Sollux shrugged.
"Shut up you thtupid—fuck, I mean stupid—lisping nerd."
"You guys are acting like you've never been human. This really isn't a new thing," John pointed out.
"Jutht becauthe we look human doethn't mean we actually are," Sollux said.
"You guys are going to be late," Jane interrupted from the doorway. She wasn't starting school for another two weeks.
"Gog damn it," Karkat muttered. "Gamzee, where the ever-loving fuck are you?"
"Right here, Karbro," the juggalo troll drawled lazily, seemingly appearing out of nowhere at Karkat's shoulder, forcing him to stifle a yelp of shock.
Gamzee, Sollux, Karkat, Jane, John, and his dad were all living under the same roof of the—thank gog—rather large house. It was a complete disaster. Karkat constantly felt like he was going insane, and he had no idea how Jane could stand sharing her living space with her two biological sons and their three troll friends, but she seemed okay with it. She was probably just glad it was all over and they were all safe. The company probably also helped her forget about her dad-lusus for a while.
Rose, Jade, and Dave had all moved nearby and were hosting or at least providing guidance to a bunch of the other trolls, Jade and her ectobiological grandfather/grandson most of them since they didn't have any human adults in the household to put their foot down against it.
Karkat slid into the car seat next to John, hugging his backpack in his lap. Gamzee sandwiched him in the middle from his right and slammed the door. The cancer reflected on how the two morons on either side of him and Jane Crocker were technically his adoptive "siblings". He sighed and leaned against his moirail, looking enviously at Sollux riding shotgun kitty corner to him. The bipolar bastard had been smart enough to as Doc Scratch to make him and "emanthipated" minor. It was hard to understand with his lisp, but apparently becoming and "emanthipated" minor mean he didn't need a lusus or guardian of any sort and was basically independent of anyone else, living with the Egberts only because he didn't have anywhere else to go. Karkat would never admit it, but he wished he'd thought of that, but it could have been worse—most of the trolls were under the supervision of their ancestor, and Karkat could only thank the Egberts for taking him in and the Lalondes for putting up with that obnoxious asshole Kankri.
They pulled up in front of the school and John's "dad" allowed them to climb out of the car.
"Karkitty!" Nepeta launched herself at him out of nowhere.
"Oomph—fuck!" he exclaimed, Nepeta's pounce attack almost taking him to the concrete. She was light but she could pack a punch whether it was with her fist or her whole body.
"Oh, I still can't get over how you look so cute as a human!" she exclaimed, drawing back to study his features.
"You too," he lied with a nervous laugh. She was so much prettier in her troll form—as a human she looked so very ordinary—but he wasn't about to tell her that. They were tentatively dating and he didn't want to hurt her any more than he already had just by being himself. Plus, if he would have said anything of that sort, Equius would have broken in his brand new human face with his brand new human fist. The STRONG troll was never far from his moirail, demonstrated by the fact he was standing a few feet away, arms folded, looking pale and hornless. He was still wearing his dumb broken sunglasses, Karkat noted.
Almost as though the thought of eyewear had summoned him, the one and only Dave Strider arrived on the scene, trailed by Jade Harley, Vriska Serket, and Terezi Pyrope.
Terezi sniffed the air and gave them a flat-toothed grin she somehow still managed to make look sharp. "Sollux, you're still wearing your glasses?"
"Believe it or not, I actually need them, TZ," he pointed out.
"I was sort of half expecting you to show up in 3D glasses," Dave said.
Sollux frowned slightly. "Should I have?"
"Oh, gog, no. Do you have any idea how weird that would have been, even compared to your normal glasses?"
"Judging by your tone, pretty fucking thtrange," he surmised, sticking his hands in his pockets.
"Wait, say sassafras," Dave instructed.
"Thatha… fuck you," Sollux growled.
"That's weird. You didn't have a lisp before," Dave observed.
"Thtrider, we had a grand total of one converthation after KK knocked out half my teeth."
"He did what?" John asked in confusion.
"Long, unpleasant story," Karkat interrupted before they could go down that road with Gamzee, Equius, and Nepeta all in the same place. The clown appeared to be completely zoned out, but it was hard to tell sometimes, and Karkat did not want to deal with another murder rampage if the mention of the last one somehow set him off. Besides, he didn't want Equius going into protective moirail mode and hurting the highblood either, whether for revenge or disaster prevention.
"It'th not that long," Sollux muttered, and Karkat had to restrain himself from kicking him in the shins. "Anyway, are FF and AA—?"
He was interrupted by a voice no one was happy to hear. "Uh, hey, ev-verybody," a kid who was, judging by the scarf, glasses, and accent, apparently Eridan Ampora himself said, joining the conversation.
Everyone fell silent until John said hello and Karkat muttered, "Oh my gog."
"So, are you…?" John started, trying to phrase the question "are you a troll?" a little less suspiciously.
"Yeah, he's one of us," Karkat sighed. "Unfortunately."
"Kar, I'm really, sorry, I—"
"Eridan, you fucking idiot, it's not me you should be apologizing to. There were five of us in the room and I was the only one you didn't kill or try to kill. Save it for the people who actually deserve and apology."
"You did what?" John asked in horror as Eridan grimaced. The human still hadn't gotten over the fact that most of the trolls had died at the hands of their friends for no real reason whatsoever.
Eridan looked at Sollux who said, "Don't even bother, fish dick."
"W-wasn't going to," the sea-dweller snapped. "I just w-wanted to know-w if you'd seen Fef, since you're practically joined at the horns."
"You thtay the fuck away from her," Sollux threatened.
"I just w-want to apologize like Kar said," he explained as though speaking to a little wiggler.
"You want to apologize? You want to apologize for killing her?" Sollux demanded incredulously.
Eridan looked uncomfortable. "Among other things."
"Jesus Christ," Dave muttered. "Fuckin' trolls." John looked a little scared, but Terezi giggled and grabbed onto his arm, causing him to smile ever so slightly. She had broken up with Gamzee after he had returned to normal and quickly gotten back together with the Knight of Time. No, Karkat was not jealous, not even a little bit.
Then he felt Nepeta shift her grip a little on his own arm, and suddenly he wasn't lying to himself so much when he insisted he didn't care if Terezi dated Dave.
"Hey, Sollux, can I lick your ocular orbs?" the blind girl asked, breaking the tension a little. "I want to know what they look like now."
"You're not licking my fathe (face), TZ. Uthe (use) your nothe." He lowered his glasses, revealing his eyes actually had pupils and irises now, and that his left eye was as blue as John's and the right as red as Dave's.
Terezi leaned in close to him and sucked in air loudly through her nose, grinning again. "Cherry and blue raspberry popsicles. They were better before, though."
"Yeah, I know," Sollux said, putting the glasses back in their proper place.
"Great, we've all determined being human is fucking lame. Now can we find the others and get going before we're late on our first day?" Karkat demanded.
John nodded quickly. "Yeah, let's go. I think the office is this way. We can probably pick up our schedules there."
He led the group into the school building.