Standard Disclaimer: KA and the legends are soooo not mine. The craziness of the characters is the only thing I own. Bad Language, Violence and Possible Sexual Scenes Warning. Don't like it, don't read.

Obviously, my sabbatical didn't last that long… Well, it's continuing, and this one was just almost done anyway. So don't forget to review!

Warning: Some seriously sexual references, you have been warned!

Beginning to Unravel

"Boys, we're going to Port," Argon announced into the forge with a smile on his stout face, I looked up as Trent and David cheered uproariously and dropped their half-done projects in order to pack.

"Again? You just went last month!" I questioned my forge master, who gave me a stern look; honestly I've gotten worse.

"Aye, what's your point girl?" He spat the word "girl" as if it were distasteful, near four years I have been his apprentice and still he has no concern whatsoever for me.

"My point is that those new orders have barely been touched save for my part. My part, which I might add have been done, ages ago! And now you're off to port again, why?"

"I don't need to explain myself to you." He huffed and pumped the forge to the right temperature.

"True, you don't. But I'm going with you." I smiled an innocent smile and headed to the knights' quarters to pack my things.

"Nay!" Argon ran in front of me stopping me in my tracks, he moves fast for a short and stout man. "You are not and tha's final."

"And why not?"

"Because… we have orders to be filled, you have a job to do." He stated in a no excuses tone.

"Right, there are a lot of orders this month." Pressing my finger to my lips thoughtfully, Argon looked right pleased with himself before my countenance brightened, "Good thing my work is done, so I'm in the clear." I moved passed him leaving him sputtering for another excuse. The rounding call of "KNIGHTS" drew my attention to the gates and I lifted my skirts around my waist to move better in my jeans to the gate just as the knights were dismounting from another patrol.

With an excited squeal I jumped Tristan, wrapping my arms and legs around him with a sound and passionate kiss. He eagerly returned my affections and tightened his grip, Tristan even pinched me! Gawds I missed him when he was away.

Tristan and I have become the fort's hottest item for three weeks now. And I was moved into his quarters when Jerica let it slip that I have night terrors since Spain that only seem to get worse (the secrets of the trip still remain between Jerica, Vanora, Kaida and me; I can't bring myself to tell even Marion). All of it brought on by my inner battle demon and deaths I've had to deal with, we found it was through Tristan's closeness that I didn't have to face them the night he burst into my room when I screamed in my sleep. Heh, Argon made him pay for that door.

And before people get the wrong idea, Tristan and I just share a bed, we do not get that freaky… not that I haven't wanted to. Sure, I love him, I'm in love with him; but sex is much too soon for me, I mean come on three weeks. But, oh my good gawd he's making it hard not to give in. No, I will be strong and resist him. I promised myself, that I'd rather progress than straight jump his bones, I'm not Charity.

Speaking of Charity, Arthur put her in the stocks a while back for disobeying orders and endangering lives. At least that's what they believe. She would have been flogged like I had been, but I pleaded with Arthur to lighten her punishment despite the fact that she deserved it so much. According to Arthur, she disobeyed orders and put lives in danger; according to me… she and Darren went skinny dipping at midnight. Okay maybe it's not that simple, there was a Woad scout party in the area (looking for me with instructions and updates from Merlin). To everyone else Woaddanger, so therefore when the party was sighted everyone was on house arrest until the knights could locate and eliminate the problem. Thing was, the message was already delivered and they were out of the area before you could say "Robert's your uncle and Frances' your aunt" thanks to Loca. Nobody died and Tristan wasn't away from me that long, which meant I was a very happy little girl.

Anyway back to the present, there were undoubtedly hoots, whistles and catcalls at the display of affection, but for once I didn't care. I have firmly established that he and I are one and I refuse to let go without a fight, this goes double for Charity.

I was stuck in another dress again tonight, pale blue Japanese silk modeled after a kimono somewhat with a flowing skirt, Jerica had taken the laundry and it was currently all drying in the smithy. Bouncing Vanora and Bors' youngest on my lap I listened to the day's events through the children's eyes while waiting for the knights to get out of their after-mission meeting. Vanora and Kaida were behind the bar conspiring again while I had to deal with the glares and sneers of the other barmaids and whores while at the same time dealing with the kids… fun.

An excited squeal erupted from the babe in my arms when Bors seemingly came out of nowhere to take his child. Ah, so the knights have finished their meeting. Yay that means Tristan should be—

"Did it hurt, my love?" an accented voice whispered in my ear as strong wrapped around my waist pulling me hard against a warm chest.

"What?"

"When you fell from heaven." Cheesy and rather old, but his words still made butterflies dance in my stomach. Gawd, I'm turning into some flighty noncy schoolgirl, but I really don't care! I turned to face him and flung my arms dramatically around his neck.

"No, of course not. You were there to catch me." With a feral grin, my boyfriend kissed me soundly whilst a resounding "EW!" emitted from the children. Gasping for air I made a face at them and disentangled myself from Tristan's arms to do some shooing.

"Woman, I have half a mind to toss you on this table and claim you as mine," My boyfriend whispered huskily against my skin while pulling me into his dark corner. Tristan's hands traveled the length of my body over the silk like fire, it took all my will to make no sound, times like this I desperately want to give in and everything he does to me doesn't make it any easier.

"And the other half?" I teased nibbling his lip, but I never got an answer as Gawain just had to interrupt.

"You two, get a room!"

"Sure, how 'bout yours!" I shouted back with a giggle, my reply was met with loud laughs and chuckles, Tristan sat down with me in his lap nuzzling my neck. Honestly, it's a little strange how affectionate he's been lately. True, he's still rough around the edges, only really talks to me, still kinda acts a little stalker-ish, kills and fights like nobody's business; but despite all that Tristan has been a lot like a love-struck fool that it had me worried. Earlier when I brought it up with Van, she said that it was probably because of the ultimatum I gave him before that he doesn't want to lose me. I guess that has some truth, I wouldn't want to lose him either and I think I should let him know. And I know just how I can do that, maybe in the near future.

"Those two need to get together," I mumbled in English to the scout as we people watched from our little corner. A few more of the wenches and whores glared evilly at me, Kaida told me it was because I had taken away some very good business. Apparently the scout was "good business," well now he's my business. Although I could do without the scorn of other women or the questions of whether or not 'it's still hands and face to the wall and open wide'. Stupid things like that are so annoying!

Anyway, back to people watching, or in my case Gawain and Kaida watching while not being distracted by Tristan's roaming hands (a hard task indeed). "They are really cute together, and this song and dance number is getting boring." He chuckled with a kiss to my hair before returning to his apple; did I mention that Tristan understands English? He does, apparently he didn't take to kindly that Arthur and I could communicate without anybody being the wiser and self taught himself, I'm so proud! "I'm serious. He likes her, she really likes him and yet they do nothing. We should definitely do something, dump them in the woods or lock 'em in a room..." I schemed narrowing my eyes to the couple across the bar. It was really cute how Gawain openly flirted and Kaida shyly flirted back.

"Aye, we will do something. We wait." Before I could respond, he pushed a slice of apple in my mouth and pressed a sweet kiss to my lips.

"Not fair appealing to my love of food." Pouting through the apple slice I snuggled into his arms.

"And what of my love?" Swallow and grin.

"Reciprocated ten fold, scout." I pressed a sticky apple kiss to his lips and would have continued had not Loca drew my attention with an urgent mew. Oh shit, a summons. DAMN YOUR TIMING, MERLIN!

Pulling away and feigning an exhausted yawn, I pulled my scout by his collar, "Come, give us a kiss and I'm off to bed." His eyes looked at me with an unspoken question I brushed off and he moved to follow me to our room.

"Aye, we've an early morn. A Roman is coming to inspect the fort; the knights and I are going to the port to receive him." Tristan commented softly and wrapped his arm around my waist securing me tightly to him.

"You're leaving already? But you just got back." I protested as we left the tavern for our room. "You've barely stayed a day with me and—wait did you say you were headed to the seaport?"

"Aye…" He pushed open the door to let me in smacking my rear as I passed him making me squeak. Tristan chuckled at my reaction. It's so annoying when he does that, at the same time he must know how it affects me… yeah, going back to the whole "wanna jump his bones" idea.

"Well, I wanna go too." I replied, my hands covering my backside as though to protect it from an onslaught of pinches or smacks. He closed and locked the door while I backed up, Merlin's summons still in my mind; I just needed an escape from my overly-observant boyfriend.

"Go where?" Ugh, he's playing stupid. Uh-oh, what's he doing—Tristan faced me as he removed his tunic and shirt standing bare-chested in front of me. Gawd, he does this every night he's back from missions, but damn he's so unforgivably sexy. The fact that he wears clothes is a sin…doh… Ria remember, you have to meet with Merlin! Think of something not sexy, dancing muskrats, fart machines, Bors in a dress, Gimli the dwarf naked… EW! That was disturbing, damnit Tristan's half-naked, NOTHING HELPED!

Clearing my throat, I fidgeted as I moved behind the changing screen, "I-I wanna go with you to port." Pulling off the dress, I noticed the lit candle behind the screen and realized that Tristan had been given a silhouette show, with an embarrassed squeak I blew out the candle. I could hear him chuckle through the rustle of my shift. "Argon and the boys are goin' and Argon insists I shouldn't come too."

"He is right." He replied, forcing me to poke my head from behind the screen.

"You're not serious!" My voice hitched, Tristan smirked as he crossed the room and pulled my chin forward to kiss my lips.

"Only a little." Pulling me half-dressed in my camisole and panties from behind the changing screen, my scout held me flush against his hard lean body. Oh jeez… No Ria, don't think on this path, you have to—

"Tristan…" His name was a husky whisper on my lips when his mouth descended from my mouth along my jaw and down my neck. Oh my GAWD, I don't want him to stop, I could give in to him, I wanted him, and I felt that need for him. I vaguely comprehended moving backward until my back hit the cot with his weight on me as Tristan held my hands above my head all the while kissing me with unbridled passion.

"Victoria…" My name, I've always hated it, but then it had never sounded so right until that moment it fell from his lips in that rasping growl. My black camisole tank was inched off my torso with torturous slowness as my panties were sliding down to the floor. His breeches had come undone at some point… this man can surely multitask.

His fingers were fire on my flesh, a fire I would have gladly—

"Victoria? Are you there? Something's wrong with Loca." Marion's frantic knocking interrupted us; Tristan let out a low curse and helped me sit up. Watching him stuff himself into his breeches, I pulled on a clean tunic and my jeans remembering Merlin's summoning. DAMN YOUR TIMING MERLIN!

Tristan yanked the door open with an irate growl at my young friend. "I know you were sleeping, but Loca seems ill, Ria."

"Yeah, I'm coming." With an apologetic look to Tristan, I hurried to my excuse to see Merlin. Merlin is so gonna pay for this!

"Loca! Come back girl! Stop!" I hollered after my wildcat running through the fields toward the Woad Forest. A few of the Roman guard who had followed me called after me to let Loca go and return to the "safety" of The Wall; but I acted as though I had not heard. I know I had to hurry to lose the Romans and the knights that were sure to follow… especially Tristan.

"Loca! Where are you?" Sounding desperate, I saw the wildcat lead me deeper into the forest. Meetings with Merlin were always like this, random and spaced out as to not draw suspicion. Again I made a desperate call for my feline guardian.

"I summoned you nearly an hour ago, Ria." Merlin materialized out of the shadows of the forest. His expression was clearly not amused. Loca took refuge in the tree branches above our heads and looked on innocently; she would be my excuse when the time came to return to the fort.

"I was detained." Lifting my chin defiantly I continued, "Why did you call? Has there been any clue to Charity's destiny?"

Silence, save for the sounds of the forest. He is definitely not my favorite person right now.

"What do you have to report?" I stared at him, is he fucking serious?

"Nothing that you don't already know. Don't you have some informer beside me? My job is only to protect her—"

"My informer told me The Hope was ill-treated. That does not sound as though you protected her. Why have you not prevented it?" His normally calm voice held so much malice and threat, I near winced.

"If you're talking about when Charity was put in the stocks that was her own damned fault. She shouldn't have been out when the fort was on high alert. Personally I would have let Arthur give her the usual punishment, but I made a pact with you and she was not harmed." 'Not physically at least.'

"Try not my patience. I have been very lax with you Victoria." He seemed to growl and soon several Woads appeared eyeing my suspiciously.

"Like this is easy for me? Like I'm having fun? Might I remind you, Merlin, I'm the one with the fucked up destiny, I'm the one stuck someplace I don't wanna be, I'm the one forced to protect the one person on this green earth I hate, I'm the one that has to lie to everyone I love to keep your secrets and I'm the one on whose shoulders the rest of the world's fate seems to weigh heavily. Did I want this? No. So don't you dare go on about how HER stupidity is MY gawd-damned fucking fault!" I yelled at him, the pointy objects seemed to tighten in a circle around me, but I could really have cared less. Not only did he treat me like Charity's lapdog at his beck and call, but he interrupted my moment with the scout!

Another silence stretched before the wizard waved off the Woads around me.

"So, tell me why you demanded my presence or I will—"

"Ria?" Arthur's voice echoed through the trees. Shit. We all looked in the direction the knight commander's voice came, he was close. Turning to the wizard about to make my demand again, I was just in time to see him and the other Woads melt into the trees. Doubly shit! Loca mewed from her spot on the branch just as Tristan, Arthur and Lancelot came upon me.

"Victoria," Tristan breathed into my hair as I was pulled into his strong arms, breathing in his woodsy scent, my anger at Merlin was momentarily forgotten. Before I could really lean into his embrace he held me at arms' length to face Arthur's scrutiny. Grr… that sexy traitor of mine!

"What were you thinking Victoria? It is not safe to be in the woods at night," Arthur scolded me as Lancelot made the call to the rest of the search party that they'd found me. "We are in Woad territory; no one could protect you if we had not found you." He motioned to Tristan, who led me to follow.

"Wait, what about Loca? The only reason I'm here is because of her." I tried to reason.

"Come, my love. She will follow." Tristan replied huskily in my ear, his hands held me with a tight sensuality under my cloak… whoa boy, someone's frustrated.

"No, I don't tell you to leave behind your hawk or horse, so don't tell me to leave behind Loca." Again I reasoned, but at that moment, my traitorous pet decided to jump into… I mean on top of Lancelot, knocking the dark knight to the ground. "Okay, problem solved, let's go." Picking up Loca, Tristan led me by the waist back to his horse and off we went to the fort.

On the ride back, snuggled in Tristan's arms I chanced a glance back to the retreating forest. "Are you sure you did not encounter any Woads Ria?" Arthur spoke beside us.

"Positive, Arty." He looked at me intently before nodding and riding ahead, while Tristan and I continued to ride in silence. Not that we haven't experienced comfortable silence before, but this was just silence… no comfort, no tension, no awkwardness and it was weird.

One thing is certain, Merlin will call upon me again and I will have to answer, that is the way of things. Especially since the magician is blaming me for Charity's stupidity, ooh I just want to yell at that stupid wizard or let my boyfriend disembowel him for such stupid ideas. But that would be bad because then I'd have to explain all the secrets I've kept and then Tristan will never trust me… I can't loose him.

"What do you think of, love?" He whispered in my hair, his voice was husky and a bit strained, which brings up the question: what is he thinking of?

"You… do you forgive me for taking off after Loca and… um… leaving you alone? I promise to make it up to you…" Tristan's rusty chuckle reverberated through me as he pressed me tighter to his chest. The hand around my waist sneaked under my tunic onto my skin lazily tracing the underside of my breasts. Too soon we entered the fort.

"What did he want?" Jerica stood next to the window of her room looking down at the tavern, the knights were there and spending the night in drunken splendor, her English had greatly improved.

"He blames me for Charity's stupidity. Remember when the fort was on high alert a week or so back? His informer told him I had let it happen. So now, I'm in the shit with the bastard." We never use Merlin's name when we talk, only Jerica and Kaida know about my fucked destiny; Jerica by default and Kaida found out by accident during one of my nightmare episodes. But it's only Jerica that knows everything and I wouldn't want it any other way.

Folding the clean clothes and putting them in trunks and chests, my attention was elsewhere. "When will you tell him? Or will you tell him?" Jerica's question broke my thoughts… would I tell him?

"I don't know… I hate keeping secrets from him, especially since he knows me better than anyone I've been with. But that's not saying much since I've only really 'dated' three men. Jer, I'm in love with him... I don't want to loose him because of this."

"You know he will see it as a betrayal if he finds out and you did not tell him."

"I know, okay? I've been aware of that since the beginning, Jerica. If I could have it any other way I wouldn't keep any secrets, not from him at least." I pulled open the door in time to see a shadow hurriedly disappear around the corner.

Ooh the drama. Who was the shadow? Did they understand the conversation? Let's see let's see.

Yay! Another chapter done! I've really got to get back to doing my work.

One More thing: I know we aren't supposed to write these, but I felt this time it was important. For now I'm going on a sort of sabbatical from FFN. My existence is a little messed up so I figure that this is undoubtedly necessary until I can get my life back into some kind of order. No doubt I will still be writing, the insane mind needs some outlet, but taking the time to actually write, post and read fanfic has been detrimental to my grades. Simply put, FFN has been the addicting escape that I have to give up. Any updates I put will be far and long in between, thanks so much to those who read and those who reviewed, you've been wonderful and motivated my writing. So good-bye for now my duckies and happy writing, reading and all that. Until next time.

June-Birdie