"Er, so which one will you get today, sir?"
"Hm." Sousuke contemplates the plants on display and points to the first to stand out, a small rounded bunch of baby blue hydrangeas according to the tag. "That one."
"Great choice!" The brunet cheerfully praises as he claps his hands together. "I'll ring you up. Would you like it in a basket?"
"No, this is fine." Sousuke picks the plant around the base of its pot and follows him deeper inside the shop.
"Alright, your change is 62 yen." The brunet places the coins in his hand and curls his fingers inward. He glances up at Sousuke and beams. "Have a nice day, as always."
Ah, there's that killer smile of his. Could knock him flat off his feet if he wasn't already use to seeing it every day since he stumbled across his botanical flower shop one breezy spring morning. It was the day he realized he was screwed with love sickness of the worst kind: love at first sight.
After a pregnant moment, Sousuke nods curtly in response, albeit abashedly. He leaves the shop just as quickly to the quiet of his small one room flat a few streets down. In it are the various purchases of plants he had accumulated, all in various stages of growth. He's tried his best to maintain them, but time and resources could not be fought. It's irresponsible on his part, but having them is worth seeing the brunet for the few minutes spared in his company before he stayed too long for comfort.
All those times, and he never had the chance or courage to ask for his name.
It's embarrassing to say the least, when in the past he had jumped into relationships with vigor and equally with reluctance. To recall, he has had relationships with different types of people, all ending on sour notes.
There was the flamboyant and popular Kisumi, whom Sousuke was convinced he was in love with when he remembered their pleasant childhood together in elementary. His easy going personality made it easy to think he was in love and loved in return.
What finally broke the ice was the unofficial fan base the strawberry blond had and the disturbing passive aggressive threats with contrasting emoticons that blew up his phone and phone bill every hours of the day.
Kisumi had told him not to mind, that what they were doing was cute and he should be flattered by their jealousy. In Sousuke's eyes, it was unwanted attention and genuine stalker-ish obsession. He was affiliated with the police, goddammit. And he didn't want to share Kisumi, couldn't he understand?
That was where the problem lay with Kisumi. He didn't mind the attention. He adored it. He liked Sousuke, but not enough to discard his fans' support for him.
Sousuke decided to end it. It was better for them to go separate ways. They remained friends and nothing more. After that, Kisumi would occasionally call him to check on how he was doing and the state of his health, especially more often after he left the force. It's one of the bittersweet ends Sousuke knows he would not want to go back to.
And then there was Nitori.
He was his junior by a year at the academy, and then his junior at the station. At first, Sousuke thought particularly nothing about him when he had introduced himself. Maybe something rude, like 'why is his hair cut so messy?', 'is he really only a year younger than him?', and 'how does one be born with eyes so bright a color?'
Persistence was a stubborn trait in him, and Sousuke eventually gave in. Honestly, the boy (Nitori never really got over that after Sousuke thrice failed to remember his name. He had later upgraded it to pretty boy teasingly) brought out the hidden urge to protect and take care of him. Nitori was disorganized, clumsy, bubbly, and considerate. Frustratingly so.
xXx
"Yamazaki-senpai!" Nitori gazes at him suddenly with unwavering determination from his place beside him on their couch. "I confess, I was scared of you when I first met you, because of your natural mean guy frown—"
"Hey."
"—but I like to think I fell for you when you easily broke into a smile and said it was nice to meet me. It was a very kind smile."
Sousuke clams up at that, too embarrassed to make a retort. He doesn't have the same straightforward memory of when he had begun to tolerate, ehem, like the boy, but what matters is he does now. Actually, he remembers rather guiltily, his senior advisor Lieutenant Seijuurou had told him he should be nice to the rookies, and Nitori was the first to approach him.
How could he know he was in love with just a smile?
It troubles him as he frowns outwardly. He tries to pinpoint when exactly he started to think of Nitori as more than the clingy paper boy who looked up to him as a mentor.
Did he talk to Nitori more out of obligation than interest?
He didn't dwell on it too long as the scene got to the sickeningly emotional part, when the two separated lovers finally reunited in the rain. The boy always was a sobbing mess when scenarios like these happened. Sousuke assumes it was due to his sensitive feelings and easily moved emotions.
Nitori clings to him now, his eyes glued to the screen and tears glimmering on the edges of his light lashes. His free hand clutches the cord at his neck tightly.
Sousuke silently hands him a whole box of tissue.
He receives them gratefully.
"Thank you," Nitori wheezes out weakly.
Sousuke squeezes him tightly to his side in response and comfort.
xXx
He never did understand why those romantic tragedy films got to him so bad. He knows the reason now.
Nitori was projecting someone he had loved in the past onto him. Sousuke immediately thought the boy used him as a substitute and mere replacement for whatever jerk had left him, but when he heard the whole story, his anger diminished tiredly. Among all his other qualities, Nitori was brutally honest and well intentioned. There was nothing wrong in finding comfort in others to heal wounds.
But why did it have to be him.
Sousuke was hurt, and, he found surprisingly, heartbroken and sad.
They didn't say it, but their relationship, whatever they had, ended abruptly and without a word. The toll it took on him was so heavy it affected his social life and flowed into his work.
That was a mistake no one in his field should have made. But he did it, and how he regrets it to this day.
(It hurts. He hurts.
But he's fine. There are worse things that could happen.
Deep down, he still finds himself a little in love with the boy. He would endure this much for the pain he harbors, unknown to everyone in the world but him.)
Afterwards, Sousuke officially requested leave from his duties with an additional letter addressed to someone his soon-to-be former superior knew very well. Newly appointed Captain Seijuurou took one look at him and quietly accepted it, no judgment apparent where he could see. His only say on the matter was a careful pat of Sousuke's arm and an utterance of 'We'll miss you, bud.'
His leave resulted in relocation from Samezuka to Iwatobi, the quiet town by the sea where someone precious aspired to be the greatest Olympic swimmer of his age. Pipe dreams, that's all they were.
After some months employed in construction and other odd jobs, Sousuke spotted a person he had failed to notice, as he had always strolled past the shop to and from work. That day, he had left early to sneak in a jog across the beach. He had wanted to keep in shape as his former profession had, especially since he had vastly more free time.
The spectacle that had distracted him from continuing on his way was the image of a grown man, from his eye trained estimate, near his height and build. The brunet had in his hands a plate of fish (mackerel?) and at his feet a bowl of milk. He wasn't alone.
Cats. Multiple varied sizes of fluff were mewling at the feet of their savior.
The savior had bent down to one knee and generously placed before his audience the gift. As they neared, a hand brushed the tarnished coats of the stray animals and he wore a withdrawn, almost wistful expression.
It was barely dawn, he remembers. The sky was unexpectedly clear with a dash of yellow in the distant horizon indicating the oncoming sunrise. The early birds were already awake and off where the food was surplus for their young, nowhere near where the quaint town of people lived. The occasional chirp from overhead was the irregular music of the morning.
He didn't notice his surroundings as much at that moment.
Among other things, it was a quiet, chill start of his day. Very normal, he might say.
That is, until the man glanced up, saw him gawking from across the slightly misty street, tilted his head, and smiled.
In that moment, Sousuke saw the sun rise from the entryway of the flower shop. The sight was dazzling.
He understood. Just one was all it took.
Nitori, you're absolutely right, Sousuke had thought. I'm an idiot; you're an idiot; we're fools for falling for such simple things.
Among his jumbled malfunctioning thoughts, he remembers, yes, that smile is for me and me only.
But it's not, said his doubt.
It can be, said his hope.
You're a stupid closet romantic and you want the guy, said the part of him which he assumes actually is his romantic side. No poetry, though. That's another word for embarrassment on paper.
His instinct said nothing of the kind as he strutted across the street. His courage pushed the words out his mouth as he stopped a safe distance from the brunet and the feeding cats.
"When are you open for shop? I'd like to buy some flowers." He grinned his best winning smile, not wanting to scare him away from above.
Confusion and caution had clouded his face as he had approached, but the question and his friendly attitude cleared it away just as easily. The sun shined through, as it should.
"Right away, sir."
His voice was kindness personified.
Sousuke had it—love—so, so bad.
A/N:
As far as I've written Sousuke's character, he seems more grumpy and a pitiable guy, yeah? What with his past and whatnot, and the occasional romantic thought and dry humor sprinkled here and there.
I've continued this fic on ao3, but I want to update on ff because I know some wouldn't know about it being only ff-centric readers. Please, enjoy my little soumako fic I made purely for the sake of their eternal happiness.