He raises a hand to volunteer his own umbrella until he sees them caught in their own little world. Interrupting would shatter the magic this one of a kind opportunity could produce.
It's a nice change from the unchanging not-quite-a-smile the eternal summer left behind in their wake.
Sousuke mechanically plucks off the leaves on the flower stems, pondering the other night. Seeing Nanase for the first time was like spotting the overlap of two different images into one three dimensional picture, and he can't seem to ignore the resulting shape or forget it. What's seen can't be undone, and boy is it a bother.
"I'll be out making deliveries for the next few hours until lunch, so watch the shop for me?" Manager informs as Nanase floats by his shoulder with his knees tucked under (?) him and hands resting on his lap in a proper sitting position suitable if one was anchored on the ground instead of upside down.
"Sure." Sousuke nods.
Manager tosses a quick smile and makes his way outside where the orders are.
Nanase pushes off from the entrance door frame with a foot (and Sousuke thought he couldn't touch objects) and moves toward him in a fashion similar to swimming in water. He draws close and peers at Sousuke.
Sousuke peeks over the counter at his bare feet above the floor. Still no shadow. He's tossed the pants and stuck with his swimsuit. The guy needs to make up his mind: half nude or nah?
"What do you want?" Sousuke swats him with a flower stem and it expectantly goes through him.
"You can see me."
"Obviously." Sousuke scoffs with another swat.
"Do you love Makoto?" Nanase asks bluntly. Nice conversation starter.
Sousuke retracts the flowers. "None of your business. And why don't you go back upstairs? You're disturbing me during work hours."
"It's funny." Nanase remarks randomly, ignoring him.
"What is?"
"That the one living person who can see me is annoyed by it."
Sousuke's hand pauses over the next bunch. "How can I not be? You're Manager's dead boyfriend. If he found out you've been loitering around for however long you have, he would find it creepy."
"I don't like the way you look at Makoto." Nanase scrutinizes him with his brows drawn in a frown, Sousuke's words going in one ear and out the other. "It's a nasty look. You have secret motives."
"Excuse me, I was born like this." Sousuke scowls. He's been told many times how thuggish his default expression is. It's why he did his former job so well. The actual thugs and perpetrators were intimidated shitless by the time he threw a certain look their way. Although, there were rare cases where the troublemakers would go willingly, even asking to take a picture...
"Were you also born a coward?" Nanase inquires, cutting into his thoughts.
Sousuke is struck silent. He knows he's not. He knows any other time in his life, with a few exceptions he can count on one hand, he's never been a coward. It's just not who he is. But just for this instant, for the man who sparkles like the sun in his eclipsed sky, he would be honest.
"I am not a coward," he counters under his breath, "I'm scared."
Nanase leans forward as if to better hear. The bell above the shop door tinkles, signaling a customer had arrived.
"Haa, what a distance from here to the station!" A man with red rimmed glasses exclaims casually as he enters the shop. "Makoto-senpai, I took the liberty of jogging halfway, so may I please use—" He halts mid-sentence to balk widely at Sousuke. "Oh, my apologies. Who might you be?"
He says his name.
"Then you must be Sou-chan-san, the part-timer?" The man tilts his head as he takes Sousuke in. "Please call me Ryuugazaki. I will be helping out every now and then after Nagisa-kun will be moving away."
"Who?" Sousuke loudly whispers to Nanase. Ryuugazaki sends a quizzical look his way.
"A close friend." There's no one he knows with such a unique name, and his confusion shows on his face, so Nanase emphasizes with a roll of his eyes, "'Rei-chan.'"
Sousuke nods, mentally registering Ryuugazaki as Hazuki's apparent significant, long distance other. He casts a once-over at Ryuugazaki, measuring his smart clean clothes and athletic lean build. Hazuki mentioned the other man had participated in track in high school. The polite intelligent vocabulary fits well with his job in the science department at the town university.
Out of habit, Sousuke wishes he had joined the police force instead. Ryuugazaki seems like the perfect type to appreciate the beauty of justice with a level head.
"For future reference, you can call me Yamazaki," Sousuke offers. "Tack on whatever honorific you want, as long as it's not 'Sou-chan-san'."
"So I've been told in the past." Ryuugazaki accepts the hand for his backpack graciously.
"He called me 'Haru-chan-san' when we first met," Nanase explains, his cheeks resting on his crossed arms. "Said he heard of me from Makoto when he saw my poster for the art club."
Nanase is pretty talkative today. Weird, Sousuke would never have deemed him the chatty kind of person. He notices Nanase's eyebrows are relaxed and his eyes almost gentle as they follow Ryuugazaki around the shop. His indifference is lightly touched by excitement.
"Where do you want me to put this?" Sousuke calls out.
"Anywhere is fine," Ryuugazaki replies somewhere in the break room where the employee aprons are stored.
He places the backpack on the lower stairwell leading up to Manager's apartment, and then turns to Nanase with a sharply uttered, "Shoo".
"Yamazaki-san?" Ryuugazaki emerges from the back with a primly donned apron while pulling on a pair of gloves, peering at him questioningly.
"Uh. I thought I saw a bug." Sousuke hates to lie to him, but it's a necessary evil. The guy might think he's crazy if he tells him the truth.
Ryuugazaki joins him at the counter and starts plucking. "I hate cut flowers," he comments casually, his focus on the said flowers.
Then why are you here? Sousuke wonders.
He continues complacently. "Even more, I hate watching as their short lives wilt away by natural causes. Such beauty is shortened as the source of their life, the root, is literally cut off, no?" He looks at him from the side, inviting Sousuke into the conversation.
"I see where you're coming from." Sousuke nods.
"Also," Ryuugazaki's eyes are lidded behind his lenses as he gazes solemnly at the mess of leaves and petals, twirling a delicate blue flower between his thumb and index finger idly, "I am tired of purchasing and wasting such wonderful pieces. In fact, I admit it makes me ill at the thought of doing it again. Makoto-senpai is amazing to be able to care for them without feeling sad."
Sousuke studies Nanase contemplating his friend with a carefully blank expression. He must feel Sousuke's eyes on him, as he glances his way and smoothly spins toward the ceiling, his back to them.
"Ryuugazaki," Sousuke spells out the new name in his mouth experimentally, "I thought you were only supposed to be coming here on weekends. Today's a Thursday."
The other man pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose pompously with a finger. "I was wondering when you were going to ask!" He chuckles as if the turn in conversation had gone all according to his calculations, very much like the guys in Sousuke's high school class who watched too much old school anime and deemed the rest as irrelevant. "I came today to help so Makoto-senpai can rest for the next few days. There will be a birthday soon."
"Whose?" Sousuke quickly asks the Roommate.
"Mine," Nanase quietly murmurs over his shoulder.
Ryuugazaki lifts an eyebrow, uncomprehendingly looking at the space where he had spoken to, but keeps silent on the matter. "It's a special date. I would be careful around Makoto-senpai if you were to ask, Yamazaki-san," he advises kindly, rightfully assuming Sousuke does not yet know about Nanase.
"I...see," Sousuke says, backing off yet feeling the obvious exclusion.
He stares at Nanase's back, willing him to turn around and explain. When someone like him clams up, it's gotta be something significant.
There's an unmistakable intimacy between the four, a bond and past he doesn't know about. For Nanase it's an unbreakable distance he cannot ever return to. Sousuke respectfully stays outside the circle they have drawn, careful not to tread on that boundary, but holding tight to the hope he will be welcomed in one day.
They work dutifully on the tasks at hand for the rest of the time, occasionally making small talk until it's lunch.
The sky has been overcast for the past hour and the air is filled with the stagnant humid odor before a storm. He prepares the awning as the first splashes of water rain down. On his mind is the thought of Manager out there shivering and ready to catch a cold. He hadn't brought an umbrella or anything for cover out on his errands.
Sousuke and Ryuugazaki grow concerned as it comes down harder in torrents. There's a distinct clap of thunder in the distance.
Down the street they catch sight of a familiar silhouette.
"Makoto-senpai really should have done track," Ryuugazaki quips in admiration as the figure rushes toward them on the slick sidewalk at an alarming speed. "I'll get him a towel."
Manager gradually slows to a stop as he presses his hands on his knees, his chest heaving. "I...I'm not how...I used to be...in high school," he wheezes, picking at the thin shirt clinging to his skin.
It takes all of Sousuke's willpower to restrain himself, to no avail.
"Pfft."
He bites his lip to cut off a chuckle when Manager's head snaps up, his cheeks red from either exertion, embarrassment, or maybe both. The force of the corners of Sousuke's lips rising is too strong.
"Yamazaki-kun!" Manager covers his face with one hand and hits Sousuke's shoulder with the other, leaving a smudge of wet behind. He winces as he stumbles forward a step.
"Ow. I'm sorry Manager, but I didn't think you would be out of shape considering those fairly impressive traps and lats of yours." Sousuke laughs while rubbing his sore shoulder. Manager could pack a hefty punch if he tried. He's glad it was the good one.
He belatedly realizes what he just said out loud without his mental filter on. He feels the oncoming blush in a wave of horror as he backs up and bumps heavily into the door frame.
"Don't flatter my back muscles after laughing!" Manager cries, abashedly crouching on the floor with his head hidden in his arms, thankfully missing Sousuke's mistaken and failed attempt at flirting.
"I won't do it again," Sousuke mumbles behind his hand, covering his own heated cheeks as he looks anywhere but Manager. Manager might think he has a secret thing for backs. Heck, maybe he does.
Ryuugazaki comes in at the worst and best possible time.
"What happened?" he asks, looking between him and Manager, they in varied degrees of embarrassment and very far away from each other.
Manager rises reluctantly and sweeps the clingy strands of hair back from his forehead. "Nothing important, Rei. I'm glad you're here!" he says as he moves to hug him, at the last second remembering he's still soaking wet to the bone. Ryuugazaki hands him the clean towel obediently.
They chat about how they have been faring in their own respective working lives as Manager dries off. Their main topic gradually draws toward Hazuki, and Sousuke simultaneously takes note of his habit to drown out conversations that weren't about him or Manager while gratefully sensing his blush cool.
"Yamazaki-kun?" Sousuke stands to attention when he hears Manager address him, like the infatuated dog that he is. "Since it's raining, we can go get lunch together. Rei agreed to watch the shop while we're gone. That sound good?"
Manager waits for Sousuke with the damp towel draped over his shoulders and his hair slightly mussed up and that adorable half head tilt and smile of his that puts Sousuke in an undecided dilemma about whether to turn him down or happily agree.
Nanase had disappeared at some point when Manager had come back. Again. Why even bother trying to hide is pointless when no one but him can see. Sousuke immediately regrets it when he feels a bit of mirth from knowing he can go places with Manager while Nanase cannot.
Sousuke has never felt this thrill of competition before, and with a dead guy nonetheless.
"About that," Sousuke scratches the back of his neck sheepishly, "I forgot an umbrella."
"That's okay!" What. "We can share mine. It should be enough for the two of us, though two grown men over six feet under one umbrella is kind of embarrassing..."
This is like Nitori's innocent boys' love dramas except it happening in real life is too good to be true for Sousuke to believe until he's forcibly pushed out the door by the starving florist. One glance back at Ryuugazaki shows him standing in the doorway looking like he has something he wants to say but decides to keep it to himself as he waves and watches them off with a strange serene smile.
In the end, after choosing based on height that Sousuke should hold the cute fish-patterned umbrella, they walk to the nearest ramen shop, the pitter-pattering of the gloomy summer weather filling their silence.
It gets to the point where Sousuke is fidgeting and clenching his fist in his pocket, his fingers distractedly picking at the thread on his wrist. There are so many things he can talk about and Manager could grab the tail of the conversation and make it like he knew the other person for years rather than the same day.
Of course, Sousuke has gotta start with the most off-limits of questions first.
"Ryuugazaki told me you'll be celebrating a birthday this week?"
Manager is staring straight ahead but the tension in his shoulders acknowledge that he heard.
"Haru's. It's Haru's birthday," he says simply. "My best friend."
Sousuke is disappointed when Manager doesn't disclose their true relationship. Those two, is there even a need to hide?
Manager clears up his downcast mood by asking Sousuke, his demeanor hesitant.
"I don't want to offend you, but what do you think about...two men? Together?"
Ah, so that's what it is. Sometimes, even he forgets not everyone is fine with things like that. It is understandable why Manager was wary about telling the truth.
"Um, if you're uncomfortable, then..." Manager looks down at his feet, the picture of dejected and wounded puppy.
"If you mean if I am okay with homosexual relationships, then yes," Sousuke reassures, quickly. He even dated a few guys, but that's not the point.
"Oh," Manager sighs, visibly relieved. "I can say out in the open that Haru was my boyfriend."
His heart constricts painfully. He was half hoping Nanase was making the haunted boyfriend story up.
"I don't know what to say about Haru."
Nanase's name is an exhalation, a cross between a sigh, a prayer, and a huffed reminiscence of the past. It comes to his lips as easy as breathing, like he had been saying it for years. Maybe he had. The soft glazed over look in his eyes betrays how much he feels.
"His birthday was our anniversary. A long time coming to get to that point but we made it."
Manager stops in the street and Sousuke strains to keep them dry without invading his personal space. He thinks Manager is crying but it's only droplets of water dripping from the edge of the umbrella.
"Haru was forgetful and reserved to other people. He would say if I found a dream of my own, I could always come back to Iwatobi, and if he went off on his own and got lost, then I could finally choose someone who made me happy."
Manager's fingers comb through his hair and halt above his eyes. His teeth clench as he mutters bitterly.
"As if."
Sousuke's chest swells in hurt, a hurt saved for this beautiful broken person who endures daily with the unknown fate of his beloved. Empathy swells for Nanase enduring this same pain, dealing with the absolute helplessness.
Who gets hurt the most: the one who left or the one left behind?
Sousuke reaches a conclusion. Not the one he loves.
"Manager, if you're willing then," Sousuke has gotta stick with his vow all the way, "have an affair with me."
"Huh?" Manager blinks owlishly at him. "Oh, Yamazaki-kun. You don't have to say that to make me feel better. Your partner will get jealous."
"You may think I'm joking, but I am serious," Sousuke confesses.
"Why?" Manager asks, eyes wide.
It's now or never.
"I'm in love with you."
"...In love with me?" Manager repeats dazedly, as if such a thing is unheard of.
"Please." Sousuke begs, wanting him to give him a clear reply instead of startled puzzlement. At the least shoot down his hopes so he can move on quicker.
"Our break is almost half over," Manager finally says after a moment that could have lasted from five seconds to five minutes, professionally changing the subject. "Let's go before Rei meets a customer and drives them away with extensive theories about the colors of flowers."
...
Sousuke gazes emptily at the fresh bowl of noodles in front of him. The vapor emitted from it rises and evaporates exactly like his determination a minute ago.
"Eat before it gets cold," Manager says through the food already half in his mouth, gesturing to the untouched bowl with his chopsticks.
He continues his stare off with the ramen. He can't bring himself to eat, but if Manager tells him so, he will.
Sousuke is about to dig in, but before that, he looks up to Manager for approval. He's shell shocked.
"What's wrong?" he asks, startled at the tears streaming down Manager's face.
Through it, he continues to eat. "It's nothing," Manager insists as he wipes his cheeks with the back of his hands. "Spicy food makes me cry."
Not through the nose...? Sousuke reasons silently.
For the rest of the meal, they eat with the occasional sniffle.
Afterwards, Sousuke's personal review for the chef: The ramen was a tad bit too hot for his own liking.