Author's Notes: OMG SHE UPDATED?!?!?! YES! SHE DID! holycrap. XD Oh well. Here's the fourth chapter for you guys. There's not much to it, but I couldn't really think of what to write, so here's a bit of nothing special for your viewing pleasure. I'm terribly sorry if it's short and not well written, but I just wanted to get a new chapter up as quickly as I possibly could. Don't worry, this story isn't dead. I'm still going to finish writing it, because I'm just to in love with it to simply ditch it.

---

(Normal POV)

The only thing soothing Shuichi's mind at the moment was the soft pitter-pat of the heavy rainfall on the window pane. Even the weather was complimenting his foul moond. It was a few hours after Yuki had arrived and Shuichi had taken the liberty of locking himself in the confinements of his room in a sorry attemt to escape his ex-lover's gaze, if only it was for these few moments, until he gathered up enough courage to speak to him. He was going to be here for the vacation for just as long as Shuichi was, and he couldn't hide forever.

"Shuichi..." came a soft voice from behind the door. "Shuichi, please --"

But Shuichi said nothing, pretending not the hear his best friend as he tried to reach out to him.

"Com'on... You've gotta come out and have dinner with us at least. You can bare at least that, can't you?"

"You planned for this... How could you bring me here...?" Shuichi said dryly.

There was a long, tension-filled pause, and Shuichi just felt like screaming. It seemed as if the entire world, and God himself, was against him. Why couldn't he just be left in peace, without the face and memories of Yuki haunting his everyday life, like he wanted? He wondered if there would ever be a day where not only he would forget, but everyone would else as well? 'Can't everyone just move on? Can't I?' Shuichi thought to himself.

"Shuichi, I just...We just...We thought it might be helpful for you to be around him again..." There was a long moment of silence. "He's all you think of, afterall..."

Silently, Shuichi frown, his emerald eyes narrowing dangerously. "And do you honestly think I enjoy it?!"

"Shuichi --"

"Leave me alone."

Hiro sighed and moved away from the door, a sad look on his face and he walked down the hallway and out to the kitchen where everyone else was, preparing themselves for supper.

"So? Is he coming?" Tohma asked and he set the table.

Hiro gave a lopsided frown. "What do you think?" the brunette said harshly, crossing his arms.

Seguchi let out an agrivated groan and closed his eyes in frustration. This isn't how these events were supposed to turn out, yet he also had to smack himself mentally for thinking that things would be ok by just bringing Eiri back like this, out of the blue. How could he have expected Shindou-san to be happy... happy to see his reaper.

Despite the fact that he hadn't supported their relationship in the past, now, Seguchi would do almost anything to get the two back together, just like it should be. He knew that marrying Yume is something that's not happening; Eiri had told him that. He didn't want it, and told him that proposing to her was the biggest mistake he'd ever made since he'd left Shuichi.

"Well, whatever. Let's just eat. We'll save some food for him if he decides to come out later." Silently, he was trying to fight off an oncoming, and most certainly painful, migrane.

---

Shuichi could hear everyone shuffling around in the living room, cleaning up, reminiscing on old memories and all laughing at each other's stupidity and reckless antics. He could even hear Yuki laughing... Is that the effect that Yume had on him? Did she manage to change him? Why couldn't it have been him to make Yuki happy?

Sighing tiredly, Shuichi sat up from the windowsill, unlocked the bedroom door in case he needed to be woken up for some reason, and crawled into his bed, pulling the comforter up to his chin and burrying his head into the pillow. His messy auburn hair spread out and contrasted on the pale white material and the faint moonlight that flowed into the bedroom gave a sort of etheral sparkle to Shuichi's recently dull eyes.

Maybe a good's night rest would help him settle his nerves. Tomorrow was a new day, and he would try and face Yuki head on, no matter how difficult the task may seem, and no matter how much it tore him up inside. He had to do it. For his and Yuki's sake. Things needed to be fixed.

"I just hope... he can forgive me, for whatever it was I did... to make him leave..." At hearing his own words, Shuichi felt a sudden warmth on his cheek, and realized that, for the first time that day, he was crying. And crying over him, again. But in the end... was he really worth the tears? Could they really be just friends, even if it meant more heartache? ...Was Yuki really worth this much pain?

"...Yes." Shuichi barely heard his own voice as he nearly slipped into sleep. Forgiveness. That's all he wanted.

But little did he know that nothing was ever his fault.

---

"See you bright and early," Hiro reminded everyone. "Morning is the best time to go boating. Throwing people off tubes is awesome when they're half-asleep," the guitarist said, grinning wickedly.

Yuki let a small smile grace his lips before he headed down the hallway, noting that getting up early after going to bed at this late hour was going to be a bitch to achieve. At that, the blonde let his mind travel to Shuichi, his love, and his purpose for coming here in the first place. 'He's been sleeping all night. Guess he'll be up before everyone else.'

Yuki sighed and stopped at his ex-lover's doorway. After a moment of debating, he put his hand on the wood of the door and pushed, careful not to make a sound as he took a peek at his sleeping desire.

Maybe he would wake up extra early just so he could get some alone time with Shuichi in the morning. It would be best if they got on good terms with each other before the rest of the day got started, and what better way to do so than without pestering Seguchis or Hiros.

And so it was decided. They would talk tomorrow morning. With this set in mind, the novelist closed the door quietly and walked silently to his room, already half asleep.

---

Shuichi woke to the incesent chirping of the forest birds as they called out in the morning sunshine, preparing for the day ahead of them. Sitting up, Shuichi rubbed his tired eyes with his small fists and leaned against the solid headboard. The bright lighting of the morning sun was hard on Shuichi's eyes and he was forced to tear his gaze from the window, and was instead directed to the alarm clock resting on the bedside table.

6:51 A.M.

Despite the early hour and Shuichi's brain wanting to continue it's slumber, his stomach was saying something else. So he forced himself out of bed and tip-toed out of his room and into the hallway being especially quiet as he passed the bedrooms and into the kitchen. Shuichi gasped as the cold tiles of the floor made contact with his bare feet as he walked towards the fridge. Opening the door, Shuichi was left to ponder what to drink with his breakfast, and settled on milk. He needed his calcium.

Taking four waffles out of the freezer, he put them into the toaster and prepared the table while he waited. 'I hope I don't wake anyone up,' he said to himself.

When the toaster spat out the waffles, Shuichi quickly retrieved them and spread butter across their surfaces, accompanied with pure Canadian Maple Syrup that he'd found in the cupboard. Grabbing a fork and knife from the drawer, Shuichi sat down at the table and began eating, not caring if Seguchi and Mika decided to make something special later on -- he felt like he could eat this entire cabin free of food today. Why he was so hungry, he didn't know since was never hungry. Shuichi blamed stress.

"You know, you should wait for everyone else," came a voice from the doorway.

Shuichi jumped slightly at the sudden noise and immediately turned to find the source, and he felt his racing and surprised heart turn cold as it stopped beating. There was a moment of tense silence before Shuichi looked away, afraid that he would get lost in those amber depths that he, and so many women, loved. He was scared that he would break down into sobs and tears and fall into madness if he did.

"Yeah, well... I'm hungry," he said quietly, although Shuichi suddenly felt himself lose his appetite. He picked at his food, feeling uncomfortable under the writer's gaze, and shifted in his seat.

"Hm."

Yuki strode over to the table, taking no heed to the cold tiled flooring, and took a seat across from Shuichi. The novelist knew that he wouldn't be able to take the silence for long, and that he had to start up a quick conversation if he wanted to have a serious talk with the young singer. But simply starting was the hard part.

"Shuichi."

"...Yeah?" The boy continued to pick at his food as he hung his head low, refusing to look at the older man, his brown hair falling over his eyes to successfully block his view.

"I think... We should talk."

It was a simple statement, but it held a truer and deeper meaning to it, and despite how much he felt it was a necessity, and how much he wanted to flee from what was to come, Shuichi had promised himself that he would help set things right again. Even if there were more wounds he had to dig and scars to reopen.

"About?" Shuichi almost didn't recognize his own voice; it was soft, yet cold, and had a sharp bite to it. It wasn't like him at all to be this way, but could one blame him for his antics?

"It's been a while. Things have changed," Yuki said harmlessly. "People have changed...we have changed."

Shuichi glanced at him through the corner of his eye. "What do you mean by that?"

Yuki made eye contact, fixating Shuichi's gaze with his own, trapping the brunette's soul. "Look, I'm just saying, that no matter what's happened between us in the past and who we were then, shouldn't affect what could possibly happen in the future," he said, his eyes soft, although he sounded a bit unsure of himself.

"...And what makes you think...that you can so easily be forgiven?" Shuichi said with a frown. '...but what about me? And my forgiveness?'

Yuki was slightly taken by surprised at Shuichi's response. He was never usually like this, from what he could remember. The Shuichi he knew had always given in, no matter what circumstance he was put under. Yuki supposed that he was just used to being in control over his ex-lover.

'Yes, people do change. He's changed,' Yuki said to himself.

"I..." He sighed and rubbed his temples in small, soothing circles. "I wasn't expecting forgiveness from you. Shuichi, I just want... Even what's happened in the past... Not to be forgotten about, but not affect the future, okay? We're stuck here together. Might as well get along, right?" he tried to reason desperately, trying to be as nice as he could. The last thing he needed was to be a bad-ass and make smart comments at a time like this one. He needed this. And from what he's heard and witnessed thus far, so did Shuichi.

"...Guess so," Shuichi said coldly, his eye brows still knotted together and an angry expression crossing his face. He stood from the chair and carried his half-eaten breakfast to the counter and drank the rest of his milk before heading back through the doorway and into the hallway. He was going to wake everyone else up. Shuichi didn't think he could stand being alone with Yuki any longer.

Back in the kitchen, Eiri held his head in his hands in defeat. Shuichi was mad at him, and who could accuse him of being so. But Shuichi would come around.

Right?

---

"Okay, guys. I'm just gonna head over to the rental desk and get some equipment," Hiro said to the group waiting near the docks. "You guys can wait for me in the boat."

So Shuichi, Ryuichi, K, Tohma, and Yuki walked across the wooden planks to their boat, crawled in and seated themselves around the chairs. It was a fairly large boat, a family sized one, but with room for extra members. They were all forced to squish to the front of the boat so that there was room for the gear at the back, which they would need later on. Shuichi, Ryuichi, and Yuki all chose to sit at the bow, with Yuki and Shu sitting beside each other with Ryuichi on the right hand side of the boat, had piled a bunch of extra shirts, blankets, and towels up beside him, so seating was evern tighter.

When Hiro arrived, he situated himself in the driver's seat and slowly began to back the boat out of the docking area and into the lake.

The ride was quiet, and a bit bumpy, and several times Shuichi had almost fallen out of the boat when they hit waves due to his weight problem, but thankfully, Yuki was always there to catch him. Funny how the man he felt he needed to be the closest to for the longest time made him feel so uncomfortable now.

Within a few minutes, Hiro slowed the boat near an isolated area of the lake where the water was perfect and the wind was just right, making for an excellent ride.

"So... Who's first?" Hiro asked evilly.

---

"I don't feel so good," Ryuichi complained loudly, hiccups lacing his voice.

"Well, you shouldn't have gone on so many rounds, then," Hiro retorted. He wasn't about to take the blame for this.

Tohma was reeling in the one-man tube, being careful not to catch the rope on the motor of the boat, and Shuichi thought that they were heading back home.

'Finally,' he told himself. He'd kept getting strange glances from Yuki, and Shuichi was scared that maybe he had discovered the reason for leaving his shirt on. He hadn't wanted Yuki to see what's become of him.

But, much to the singer's disappointment, as the President hoisted the tube over the boat, he released a new one into the water instead. It was shaped much like a hot dog; it was a long and red, and your feet rested on what appeared to be like 'buns' from the sides and seemed like it was able to fit at least three people 1.

"I've never tried this one out before, so I don't know how it is... But I'm not gonna be the first person to do so," Tohma said, glancing around at the others. "Shuichi, Yuki... Why don't you two go on together? You guys haven't been in the water yet at all today."

The two men shared a sideways glance at each other, neither wanting to take part in the event, but were rudely pushed into the water by Ryuichi who stood laughing over the side boat.

Yuki glared at the older man with deadly eyes before turning to swim towards the raft, where he saw Shuichi having problems getting onto the raft. With a quick movement of his arms, Yuki hoisted the smaller man up onto the inflatable tube, shocked by how much lighter he seemed to be, and how boney his ribs seem to have gotten.

The novelist shook his head and filed the thought away before following suit and sitting behind the artist, his arms on either side of Shuichi so that he could hold onto the handle bars.

The next thing the two heard was the sound of the active boat motor and the wading ripples of the water as the boat flowly began to move forwards. Once the rope connecting the tube to the vehicle was tight enough, Hiro stepped on the gas, forcing Shuichi to lurch forward suddenly, and Yuki had to wrap an arm around the boys hips to hold him down.

Noting the thinning of these bones as well, Yuki decided that another talk with Shuichi was in order when they were in private.

---

(Shuichi's POV)

I could feel Yuki's strong arms pull me together when Hiro started the boat, and already I was embarassing myself. I had to take pity on the fact that I couldn't even sit properly without having to worry about being thrown into the air. Sighing mentally, I relaxed when Yuki took a hold on the grips and moved away from my body. But what was confusing me most about the times since he got here, was how angry I seemed to get whenever he got close or touched me in any way, when before hand I would have done almost anything to get my hands on him again.

I tightened my grip on the handle bars and leaned to the left as Hiro took us in a tight donut, my knuckles turning white as I attempted to stay on the raft.

But I felt so clostrophobic.

I was stuck here, with no where to go, nothing to do. I was tied up, going God knows how fast over a lake of rushing water, and I had the devil himself sitting beside me. The feeling of his chest against my clothed back was too much for me, and already I could feel myself fading away; whether it was anger or heartache that was crushing my lungs and constricting my blood, it didn't matter, I knew it was his fault, and I needed to get away.

I closed my eyes, attempting to rid the feeling of his arms pressed up against mine and the heat of his body radiating from where he sat... This body of his, everything about it, it used to be mine and only mine, not to be shared with anyone but our bed, our blankets...

But now, that was gone and he had given himself to some other person with the bond of marriage marring any path that I could possibly have back to his heart.

But who am I kidding. His heart was never mine to begin with.

My last thoughts were of what went wrong and why I was abandoned, all these unanswered questions streaming through my brain, before I realized that I was completely submerged under water, and with no life jacket on to protect me.

'It must have slipped off...' I had to smile at that, though it was a heartbroken and depressing smile... I was too thin to even keep a life jacket on to save my life. But then, what did it matter. What life was I to live, anyway?

I could hear the slow, yet deafening sound of my heart beating in my ears as it used up its last bits of oxygen, and my eyes closed after seeing small rays of sunlight peek through the top of the lake water.

'Just let me sleep... Sleep through it all...'

---

Author's Notes: Harmless chapter, really. I may seem pointless, but it's not, as you guys will see in chapter 5... And no, Shuichi isn't gonna die. D: What kind of story would that be? ...But I guess you'll guys never know until you review! I'm gonna make you guys FORCE me to update next! xD

Thanks for reading! R&R!