[[Please R&R. I wanna keep writing this. But its not getting many reviews. :c So. I don't know if it's good or not. If you like it, or have constructive criticism, please let me know. Thank you.]]
I left the Main House as quickly as I could after hearing what Akito told me. As quickly as I could without seeming too rude. I forced myself to finish the tea. Then I was gone. The rain that had threatened to turn from a trickle to a downpour didn't make good on its threat. It was still only sprinkling, so I headed down the road. Back to Shigure's.
But I didn't want to go back to Shigure's. I knew that the dog would be there, he would probably have something to say about his great time with Ayame at the play last night. Maybe Ayame even triumphantly told him that he had finally done it. Finally deflowered the little princess. Maybe it was all a joke to them, just a conquest to be made.
I still had no idea what to think but I wasn't ready to find out. I could already imagine walking through the door, catching Shigure's eye. Realizing that he was now privy to my deepest secret. And Yuki and Kyo would probably still be there too. Wondering how my 'doctor's appointment' went. Asking me questions.
I couldn't stand it. But I had nowhere else to go. I didn't want to see Uo or Hana. They would be able to tell that something happened. I felt like I was wearing a red A across my chest. I thought briefly of stopping at a restaurant but I still wasn't hungry.
So I decided to go back home, but to take the long way. I needed some more time to think, to be alone. I made a detour, into the woods that would lead to me to Shigure's. It would be a good, long, long walk.
It was quiet. The tall trees all around me stood stiffly despite the winds getting harsher. There was the fresh scent of rain in the air, and I felt a chill throughout my body. But I kept walking. Walking. Walking. Thinking.
After about twenty minutes is when it really started to rain. It went from a gentle trickle to a cruel downpour in only seconds. Its rapid and total transformation reminded me of him. I tried to cover my head with my hands but it didn't stop the deluge from soaking through my clothes as I ran for cover under a tree.
I immediately reached for my cell phone but I put it away almost just as quickly. I didn't want to bother Shigure with this. To ask him to drive all the way here in the rain to pick me up. It wasn't fair. I would have to just stand there and wait out the storm.
But little time had passed before two arms suddenly wrapped around my waist. I screamed and turned around, and came face to face with Ayame.
"Tohru-kun, Tohru-kun! It's only me!" he greeted.
Only him? Maybe it wasn't as scary as a stranger wrapping his arms around me but almost just as much. "A-ayame...what? What are you doing here?"
"Mine-chan told me that you were going to see Akito-sama today," he explained, letting his hand absently wander up and down my stomach as my wet dress clung to my skin. Stopping occasionally to caress my navel.
I cringed but didn't dare to wriggle away. Not yet. I didn't want to upset him. I had to play this carefully. "Oh, she did? Well...um...yes, I actually just saw Akito." I wasn't sure how much Miss Kuramae had told him and had no idea what he was thinking. Was he here trying to stop me from seeing Akito?
"Ah, did you?" His hand stopped wandering. He rested it on my hip. As I craned my neck to look at his face, I could see concern in his eyes. "She didn't hurt you, did she? Tell me the truth now, Tohru! If she so much as laid a finger on you, or said anything to you that upset you, you must-and I repeat, must!-tell me so that I can properly defend your honor!"
"No...no, she didn't hurt me..." You hurt me.
"Thank goodness! That's the reason I came all the way out here. I had to ensure your safety, of course." At that point, he turned me around to face him and looked me up and down. Smirking. "Ah, but even though you are luckily not hurt, look at you, you got yourself all wet! You naughty girl."
The look in his eyes. I knew that look. My heart raced and I felt like I couldn't move. My legs felt like lead. Ayame held me up with hand around my back, the other found its way to my inner thigh and slid up until it slithered under my panties. My breath hitched as he forcefully inserted two fingers inside me. The worst part of it was that he was right, I was already getting wet for him. In my mind and in my heart, I was terrified and repulsed by him but yet, my body told me otherwise.
I fell weak in his arms and said and did absolutely nothing. I felt like a mannequin. A sex toy. Letting him invade my body. Neither encouraging it nor protesting as he explored me with his fingers. All I could do was breathe heavily. Whimper.
He wanted more than that though. "You like this? I'm sure you do, you little slut. You want me to go deeper and harder too, don't you?"
He waited for a few moments, wanting me to take the bait. To say something he could work with but I still said nothing. My body shook.
"Hm, hm. Oh, I know what you want. My fingers aren't enough. You want my tongue inside you, don't you? Ah, yes. You want me to lay you down and devour you. You want me to make you cum so hard, again and again, until you don't even remember your name. I understand. You don't want to pleasure me though, no, no. You just want to use me, you selfish whore."
At these words, the scissoring movement of his fingers paused. He looked as if he had said something that accidentally struck a sensitive nerve in himself. After meeting with Akito, I knew what it was. Still, I couldn't for the life of me find my voice.
He then shook it off and smirked once again. "That's fine though, Tohru. I love you, so I'll abide by your selfish wishes." Suddenly, I don't even know exactly how it happened, but I was on the ground. Lying on the dirt, with him atop me again.
Everything was a blur as he nipped hungrily at my neck. Stopping to suck on my collarbone before continuing downward. He knew he had run into a problem when he encountered the fabric of my dress obscuring his trail. He slid the straps down my shoulders and then demanded, "Sit up. Come on, sit upright."
I obeyed. I don't know why. I sat up weakly and let him pull the clingy wet cloth down my chest, my stomach, my legs. Down until it was at my ankles and he removed it entirely.
The dress had padding in its cups so I hadn't worn a bra. Ayame noticed immediately. As soon as the dress was off, my breasts stared up at him, dewy. My nipples erect from the cold. is grin darkened and I looked away, my eyes landed on his pants, where his own erection had become obvious.
I closed my eyes but it didn't stop me from feeling his tongue circling my left nipple before his mouth closed down on it and sucked it passionately as if he was making out with it. My other breast was getting attention from his hand. Stroking it softly.
As if they had a mind of their own, my hips bucked upward. I could feel my entrance getting warmer and wetter. Needing something to fill me. Needing him. I hated myself for it.
He got the hint. And was delighted by it. He removed his mouth from my breast and looked up at me with half-lidded eyes. "Ah, so impatient! Just like a child." He then kissed down my stomach quickly. He put his tongue in my belly button and simulated the actions that he knew I wanted him to do lower.
What he was about to do. It was the first thing he ever mentioned to me back on New Year's. The first dirty thoughts he had ever put in my mind. I found my body, again against my will, become more and more excited at the prospect of having that long-held fantasy become real.
I felt disgust and arousal continue fighting each other in the pit of my stomach. I still said nothing. But my voice came back. Finally. In the form of a longing, almost sad moan.
He smiled and finally reached my core. It ached with need, and he knew it. He slipped my cotton panties off. Grabbed my hips to keep me steady on the dirt and closed his eyes as he slid his tongue gently up and down my entrance, though not inside. I squirmed desperately and he held me tighter.
"Ayame...please...I need you...please...take care of me," I heard myself whisper. It didn't even sound like me.
He obeyed. His tongue broke through my wetness and penetrated me deep. I gasped, my whole body trembling. Last night there had been nothing like this. No real foreplay. It had started so quickly, his eight inches had been inside me almost as soon as we began. This was different. This didn't hurt at all, and it felt so, so good.
But not even half as good as it felt when he pulled his tongue back out and pressed it directly over my sensitive spot. He licked it gently at first but when I squirmed again, he started sucking on it firmly. I dug my fingers into his shoulders. My heart was pounding like crazy. My vision blurry.
That was when it hit me. What on earth was I doing? This man raped me. I was letting a rapist pleasure me. I was practically begging for it. I was enjoying it. But I couldn't, I couldn't...I had to stop it. I couldn't give in to him like this.
"A-ayame...Ayame, can you stop? P-please?" I forced myself, against every fiber of my body, to ask.
His eyes flashed open. Looked up at me. He pulled his tongue away from my dripping hole. "Oh, Tohru, Tohru, Tohru. I know that I hurt you last night. But can't you see that I am trying to make up for it now?"
"You know you...? Make up for it?" And all at once, I felt rage. Rage. I'm not sure if I ever felt it before that moment, but I felt it then. I felt hatred for this man, and it felt horrible, but I couldn't stop it from consuming every inch of my body. Every inch that just seconds ago ached for him.
But as this ire washed over me, Ayame had gone back to his task. His tongue was once again slipping in and out of me. But now I knew what I had to do. It was what I should have done last night. What I would have done if I hadn't been frozen in terror and heartbreak. What I now could do because of the strength my anger gave me.
I sat up, leaned down, and hugged him. In a second's time, he was a snake on the dirt. Nothing more. I stood up and grabbed my panties and dress. Throwing them back on. Staring down at him with a hatred I had never known for anyone in the world.
"You know you hurt me? You knew the entire time? And you think you can make up for -raping- me by...what? 'Making me cum'?" My fists clenched and shook at my sides. My face was hot with fury. No, I had never felt this angry in my whole life. Never felt this brave.
The snake looked up at me with horrified eyes. "Raping you?! What, Tohru? What are you talking about, my darling?"
"Stop it! You just said you know you hurt me!" I screamed. "You hurt me on purpose, didn't you?! You raped me on purpose, didn't you?!"
"I never raped you! Tohru, what-? You must have had a nightmare. You do get those a lot, you know."
"It wasn't a nightmare! You raped me last night!"
"That wasn't rape; that was making love-"
"I asked you to stop and you didn't! You told me to shut up! I told you it hurt so much and you ignored me!" I continued screaming louder and louder so that I once again didn't recognize my own voice.
"W-well, Tohru, my princess...that...that's not rape," he said, his voice rattling. It then became stronger and more confident as he continued: "I was already inside you. You cannot ask a man to stop once he's already giving himself to you. If you didn't want to have sex with me, you should have told me before we started! But you said you were ready; I asked you three times, don't you remember? I asked you if you were truly sure. I told you we could wait, that I would wait longer. And you said you wanted me!"
"I did want you! I wanted you more than anything I've ever wanted in the world besides Mom coming back! I wanted you so badly, but you ruined it, you ruined me! You were so horrible to me! You were so rough and mean and I-I asked you to...I asked you to stop, and you-" I then fell to my knees, tears stinging my eyes and soon falling freely down my cheeks. I covered my face with my hands and sobbed.
The snake remained still for a moment before hesitantly slithering over to me. He put the end of his tail on my knee. "Tohru...I thought...I thought you were just scared. I know how timid you are, and I thought that you needed me to push you through that, to make sure that your fears didn't overcome you. I thought, in the end, you would be glad that I didn't listen to you. That you would see how wonderful sex could be, and that you would be grateful I didn't let you spoil it by stopping before it barely began."
"It wasn't wonderful," I uttered between sobs. "It was so painful and humiliating. Why couldn't you have been nice to me? Why couldn't you have taken it slow with me, and been gentle and loving?"
"That's not what gets me off, Tohru. I cannot partake in that kind of sex. To me, what is truly romantic is unquestionable domination of the one I love, and having her completely submit to me," he explained. "That is I how define love-making."
A few long seconds passed. I stopped crying long enough to stand up again. "Well, I-I hate to break it to you, Ayame, but we did not make love last night. I was raped. You raped me. A-and I never want to see you. E-ever again."
With that, I started running. Running as fast as I could in the direction that I knew would lead me home. Still, I could hear him calling out: "I did not rape you! Don't you dare tell anyone that I did! I did not rape you, Tohru! I-I love you! I love you!"
[[To be continued.]]