[[I got 3 reviews on my last chapter. Let's see if I can get at least 5 on this one? Maybe? Please? c:]]

After that day I stayed home in bed for a week. I was numbingly sick. Both emotionally and physically. The rain hadn't let up and I caught a cold that, on top of everything else, shut me down hard.

Everyone at home was worried about me. I hated worrying them but I couldn't help but feel happy. Grateful for the love they showed me. Even at my worst, they made me feel like the luckiest girl in the world.

Yuki always brought me my homework from school and sat by my bed after he got home. Telling me little things I missed from the day. Trying to make me smile. Kyo took up all the cooking chores and made me a different kind of soup for dinner each night. Shigure offered to cancel his three day business trip promoting his new book just to stay home and make sure I was okay.

I had these three great men in my life that cared about me. But the only one that was really on my mind was the one man that probably didn't.

About two days after the incident in the forest, I got a letter from said man. Shigure knocked lightly on my bedroom door. "Tohru? Are you awake? You got some fan mail!" he sang.

I had been awake. Trying to sleep but unable to. Coughing, thinking. "Y-yes, I'm up...you can come in..."

He strode in, smiling, and waved an envelope in front of my face. "I think it's a love letter!" he teased. I looked up and instantly recognized it. The flamboyant loopy writing on the envelope. Written in a glittery green ink.

"Th-thank you, Shigure," I mumbled, taking the envelope from him and opening it only after he had waltzed out of the room again. I swallowed hard, my heart suddenly pounding again, and hesitated for a good eighty seconds before pulling the letter from the envelope.

I began reading. 'Tohru, my sweet princess. We must find a time and place to talk. I won't say much here because certain people may be nosy enough to want to read the juicy contents of this letter, and I don't blame them, but there are many things that we must keep between just us. I do hope you have been keeping certain things between just us.'

I paused my reading and felt my fists tighten. How dare he? He sends me a letter just to remind me not to tell anyone he raped me. I had half a mind to call Shigure, Kyo, and Yuki all into my room that instant and tell them all what had happened. I wanted to. So badly.

But I couldn't. Yuki and Kyo would kill him. They might really kill him. At the very least they'd beat him to a bloody pulp. As much anger as I felt for him, I still couldn't bear the thought of him being hurt the way he hurt me. I couldn't lower myself to his level. And honestly I didn't want to because despite everything, I still. I still loved him. I didn't wish him any pain.

So I took a deep breath and kept reading: 'I want to make things right, Tohru. I cannot stand the thought of you hating me when I, when I love you so deeply, so intensely. I have never loved anyone the way I love you. I can't live without you, and I don't want to. My world will crumble if you leave me. I need you. Please believe me. I never meant to hurt you. Please. Send me a letter back and let me know when and where we shall meet. Give me a chance to set things right. Love, Ayame'

I noticed in that second part of his letter, he sounded genuinely desperate. Begging. For a few moments, I felt my heart tighten with sympathy for him. I felt happy, reading him tell me that he needed me and didn't want to live without me. His words almost got to me. But then different words rang through my head.

'Shut up and enjoy it, you stupid bitch'...'Stop crying, you pathetic whore'...'I'm going to rip you apart and you're going to love it...yes, you love it...you love me fucking you so hard you can barely breathe...don't pretend you don't...'

I crumbled up the letter and threw it in the nearest waste bin. And then I couldn't help but think, if he loved me more than anyone else he had ever been with, I really felt sorry for those other people.

After reading that, it was harder than ever to try to get the rest I needed. I lay in bed, my eyes watery from my cold and from the emotions that, like my body, just wouldn't sleep.

The rest of the week went on like that. I did get to sleep once in a while. Usually while the boys were at school and Shigure was busy working on his novel in the living room. I heard the comforting click clack of his typewriter and it sometimes lulled me into a couple hours' peace.

But by the middle of the week Shigure left for his business trip. He told me he would cancel and stay home with me but I insisted he go. I couldn't imagine making him do such a thing. It was ludicrous. Eventually he agreed that he would go. But told me to call him if I needed anything. I told him I would, but I knew I wouldn't. There was just no way I would ever dream of making him come back early just because I had the sniffles and a broken heart.

By Friday I was feeling much better anyway. As far as the cold went at least. My sore throat, watery eyes, and cough had all vanished. But I decided, selfishly, to stay home from school one last day. I asked Mom for forgiveness. I knew all she wanted was for me to finish school and that I had missed enough days already but I just. I couldn't. I couldn't get out of bed long enough to do much of anything yet.

I prayed that she would give me strength to snap me out of it. I had the entire house to myself so I tried to make myself useful again. I did a little cleaning. A little cooking. By 12 though I felt myself growing weak again and I headed back to bed. The afternoon sun peaked through my windows and I felt a wave of languid calm settle over me. I slept.

I woke up to the scent of androgyny. Irises mixed with manly musk and cinnamon. I would recognize that scent anywhere. My heart gave a jolt. I sat upright in my bed immediately and looked up at the familiar green eyes staring down at me.

"Tohru-kun," he whispered, leaning down and putting a hand to my forehead. "Shigure told me you were ill."

"Ayame...what are you doing here?" I whimpered, curling the blankets around my body tighter as if they were a shield.

"Well, not so much he told me, as he assumed I already knew," he continued, ignoring my question. Thankfully taking his hand off my head. "Seeing as I am your boyfriend and all. And I am, aren't I?"

My mouth grew dry. Had he completely forgotten the part where I had said I never wanted to see him ever again? I had been my strongest then. My angriest. Now I felt weak and scared all over again. But I still had some courage left in me. "I...I don't know, Ayame. I don't think...I don't think we should see each other anymore."

But once again he ignored me. Sat down on the edge of the bed. "You should have told your own boyfriend that you were sick. You know he would have come here immediately to take care of you. This has been going on for a week? And here I thought you were ignoring my letter out of cruelty. I suppose I can excuse the lack of response if it was due to sickness. You should have told me."

"It wasn't due to sickness or due to cruelty," I mumbled. Wishing I could sound more confident. "It was because you raped me, Ayame." I wondered how many times I'd have to say it before he understood. Would he ever understand?

"Don't say that," he suddenly hissed, looking at me with a new expression of threat. At least he seemed to have heard something I said. Finally. "I thought I told you never to say that."

I shivered and looked away. "B-but it's...but it's what happened...I'm sorry, I...I just..."

"Have you told anyone this? This...delusion?"

"No. I...I talked to Miss Kuramae about it the night it happened, but no one else. I promise."

He turned to face the wall and nodded slowly. "Good girl. Now tell me something: why did you fail to inform me that you were sick? You know I would have come over here and taken care of you day in and day out, don't you? My mother, she is not a woman I look up to, but she did teach me a very special recipe for an almost magical kind of chicken soup that cures the common cold within hours of consumption! Believe me, it really works. I should know; you know, I was rather sickly as a child. Not to the extent that Yuki was, of course, but I was very sensitive to the cold, and I caught illness easily. In fact, it's quite a risk for me to even be visiting you right now, but here I am! And I would have stayed an entire week if you had told me. Whether I got sick myself or not, it is my most important duty to take care of the one I love."

On the last sentence, he reached over and took my hand in his. He caressed my fingers lightly before linking them with his own. I looked over. The way he was looking at me. He looked like he believed every word of his ramble. That I was the one he loved. I couldn't figure it out, I couldn't figure it out for the life of me and it was starting to drive me crazy. "I...I didn't tell you I was sick because I, um, well...I didn't want you coming over here."

"Oh? Because you were looking out for my health? Ah, that's my Tohru-kun. Always selfless! Always thinking of others!"

I summoned all the bravery left within me. "I didn't want you coming over here...because you raped me, Ayame." I looked square into his eyes as I said it. Enunciating each word so it might finally get through to him.

But instead of getting through to him, the look of love on his face dissipated in a moment's notice. Replaced with an icy fury I had never seen in him before. Suddenly he was holding my arms down above my head. I gasped. "Do you want me to show you what the word 'rape' really means?"

I squirmed under his grasp. Trying to lean my chest upward so that it might touch his and transform him. "Ayame, please...please don't do this. Please. I love you. I do, I l-love you."

"I love you too, and I don't want to rape you, Tohru. But you seem to need a lesson on what the term means."

"N-no...I'm sorry. I won't say it again. I promise. I won't ever say that you raped me," I begged, hot tears stinging my eyes.

"You might not say it, but you'll still believe it. I need you to know the truth. I need you to understand the difference-" As he spoke, I finally managed, using all the willpower I had, to get one hand out from under his and wrapped it around his back. Pulling him close to me, pulling his chest again mine.

But nothing happened. He didn't transform. Silence fell across the room as we stared at each other in utter shock for what felt like eternity. He then slowly collapsed his body against mine. His head resting on my shoulder. His chest still against mine. Our heart beats slamming wildly against each other's. "T-Tohru..."

"Ayame..." He had let go of my arms completely and now I instinctively wrapped them around his back. I held him tight. My mind spinning.

How was this possible? He broke my heart so I broke his curse?

I wanted to ask him but just before I did, while lying there like a wounded child in my arms, Ayame Sohma began to cry.