"Welcome back everybody-" I started.
"I can do karate," said Waffles karate chopping a pillow that Liam was holding up. "Ow," she fell over, face first and didn't move for a minute before popping up; dancing crazy.
I tapped her nose and dropped again.
"Looks like I found the off button."
Everyone was leaning over Waffles; she woke up with a start and waved her arms around; whacking Grover square in the nose.
Something gives the feeling that Waffles doesn't like Grover.
"Grover go backstage and have that looked at," I said.
"And make sure you bleed to death," added Waffles. Everyone looked at her shocked; I think she needs a therapist more than I do.
"I don't need a therapist, I am a therapist; can't you tell?" Pull stupid face, "All you have to do to calm down is inhale fastly!" she panted.
That was creepy.
"First up is all-star102938, she wants Nico to go in his underpants and sing I'm Sexy and I Know It."
"There is no way you're making me do that," said Nico.
"I couldn't agree more, but to see you be torn limb from limb by those fan girls. Would you rather end up like Thalia; those boys in there at least had some decency to restrain themselves, but the girls are a completely different story."
I think some the audience shuddered and Nico's eyes popped open, the fan girls are that bad.
Nico went backstage to strip down while the girls and I hid behind the desk. Thalia gave me an odd look.
"What, I don't want to see the opposite gender in their under wear." She nodded in understanding.
"Liam, is he off stage yet?" I asked.
Yeah, you can come out now, he said.
I peeked over my desk to see a red faced Nico in skull underpants running off stage. "Oh gods Liam, I did not need to see that!" I heard him chuckle somewhere to my left; if he had a boy, I'd ring his pathetic neck. "I bet the Aphrodite girls and fans liked his little performance. Hold on, Waffles did you watch the whole thing?" I asked.
"Oh sure why not," she answered carelessly.
"Okay~, next is TheBlackPaperMoon:
'I want Percy to cross-dress as a girl and kiss Nico...Odd request, I know -_-'"
"It's not that odd of request, my hypothesis is that further in will be even stranger dares," said Annabeth.
"Whatever wisegirl," ignoring glare. "Percy head on over to Aphrodite."
"How did you convince her to come?" asked Conner.
"Uh goddess of beauty, duh," I answered.
"Makes sense," said Rachel.
Percy came back a few minutes later with a light blue dress and make-up on; Travis whistled which earned him a glare.
"How do girls even wear this?" complained Percy.
"Oh relax Perce, at least it wasn't a skirt," I said.
"That would be even worse," said Clarisse.
"How come?" asked Nico.
"'Cause there more easily flipped," said Thalia. "For any of male viewers out there; do NOT flip a girls skirt, they will slap you unconscious."
"They can't really slap a person unconscious, can they?" asked Grover nervously.
"That depends on the girl and how mad she is," answered Annabeth. Looking at the crowd, some the guys scooted away although some took their chances.
Percy gave Nico a kiss to the forehead, making him sigh in relief.
"Um, you can take that off now," I said.
"Actually this is quite comfortable," replied Percy.
"You're kidding, right?" said Annabeth.
"Yeah, I'd better take this off while I still have dignity."
"What dignity?" taunted Clarisse.
"Are you trying to pick a fight?" I sighed. "Don't answer that," when she was about to retort. "Time for the next set of dares, this is from Andronika23 saying:
'How many dares do you need? Cuz I have some.
Percy:Catch a fish from the ocean,cook it(doesn't have to be you Perce),AND EAT IT!(mauhahha!)
Annabeth:Hold a spider in your hand for 5 sec.
Nico: (Fav person TO TORTURE!Sorry:) ) Dress up as Lady Gaga,get up on stage,and sing one of her songs. (It was either this or dying his hair pink. :/ )
Grover:Eat one chicken enchilada.
Hmm. I just noticed most of my dares are torture. *sighs* Gravity Falls all over again.'
There is not limit for how many dares and Gravity Falls is okay (I have an interest for the supernatural). Percy go catch yourself a trout and Annabeth meet Oreo."
Percy left the stage and Annabeth looked like she going to have a heart attack when a Tarantula crawled on the desk.
"Oreo remember our agreement, no biting Annabeth or else you won't get your treat," I said.
"She losing it," whispered Travis to Conner.
Oreo crawled onto Annabeth's outstretched hand while the rest of us counted down. Hitting zero, Annabeth got the creeps, thus dropping Oreo.
"You did awesome Oreo, here's a cookie," I said placing an oreo on its back.
"You're encouraging a spider," said Nico.
"So? Go be Lady Gaga… Wait, have you seen Waffles?"
"No," said Grover.
There was snoring backstage. "Oh, never mind then."
Nico came back a few minutes later with everything Gaga, including the make-up. Liam handed him the lyrics to 'Boys, boys, boys'; he made a face but sang anyway.
Percy came back with a tuna, Liam took it backstage for Waffles to cook once he kicked her awake. Before she seasoned it, Waffles slapped Percy with the fish and ran away. I think Nico's bad singing put her in a mood.
Waffles came back with an uncooked tuna covered in sprinkles and slapped Percy with it again. Now the side of his face was coated with colorful little dots.
"What did I ever do to you?" asked Percy.
"You slapped me with a fish," Waffles answered.
"Percy there's no point in arguing with her; Liam cook the fish," I commanded.
But I never cooked a day in my afterlife, said Liam.
"So, you've gotta be better than me and while you're at it make some chicken enchilada for Grover."
Grover perked up at the word 'enchilada.'
Twenty minutes later…
Percy looked at hesitant while Grover gobbled the enchilada. Waffles singing the word and dancing crazy like; Percy took a bite. From the look on his face, he did not like it.
"I am Sophie daughter of Apollo has some dares she wants to share: 'How about a dare! Annabeth has 2 flirt with:
Connor
Travis
Nico'
Gorver
for the next half an hour IN FRONT of Percy, Katie and JUNIPER!
Percy has 2 kiss clarisse for 30 seconds.
It sux people are reporting the story!
Bye!'"
Was it just my imagination or did Annabeth have a bug eyed look? "Let's do Percy first."
He got up and kissed Clarisse on the cheek; here's my suggestion if you want to see some fireworks, be a little more specific where to kiss.
"Liam, did you get Juniper?" I asked.
Yeah, but do you have any idea how heavy she is? Replied Liam.
"No but you have to take her back after this. Hey Katie, if you're sitting in the audience; come on up!" A girl got up from her siblings and making her way on stage.
Annabeth took a deep breath and flirted to her heart's content, I have no idea what she said, it's all Greek to me. Percy looked ready to punch somebody or start a really long argument with his girlfriend; Katie frowned; and Juniper was FUMING. If she was given the chance, she probably would have dragged Grover by the horns and given him a really long lecture. Typical Nymph.
"chinfevl1203 says: 'You should dare Nico to talk about mythomagic for 30 minutes
and Annabeth to sit on Percy's lap as Nico talks
Clarisse to wear a Pink dress with make up
Thalia to burn a Replica of her Death to Barbie T-shirt while wearing a pink I LOVE BARBIE T-shirt
Grover to wear an I HATE NATURE t-shirt will holding garbage that causes pollution
Connor and Travis to admit their feelings to the girl they like infront of everyone'"
Nico seemed to get younger and Annabeth rolled her eyes before sitting on Percy. While brought a pillow.
30 minutes later…
I woke up to the sound of snickering; still groggy, I opened my eyes. I was covered in whip cream and sprinkles! "Waffles! When I'm done with you, I'm gonna make you wish you were never born!" They were laughing at cream covered face! "You guys didn't stop her from turning me into a cream pie!"
"We needed a laugh after that sleep fest," said Clarisse with a shrug. Nico made a face at her, while I was chasing down Waffles. The Stolls were stuffing a whip cream dispenser and sprinkle tube in the sofa.
10 minutes of chasing Waffles later…
"Waffles, when we get home, I'm gonna kill you," I called.
"Yay!" she cheered backstage.
"Why do I even bother making threats," I sighed. "Clarisse just put on the dress and Thalia set that shirt on fire." The fire pit rose up, Liam handed the shirts to Thalia along with giving the shirt and trash bag to Grover. Which he held with his thumb and forefinger (keep in mind, it smelled really bad).
"So Conner and Travis, since we're already on national TV, who and what are your feelings for a certain girl?" I asked.
Before they could answer, Clarisse walked in; Aphrodite must've had a lot of fun because you couldn't even tell it was her. Her hair had clips pinning it out of the way so you could see the art work miss love put on. She had a light blush and blood red lipstick, the black mascara made her eyelashes longer and brown eyeliner.
Clarisse's dress was a strapless cotton-candy pink with a sweetheart neckline. A black belt wrapped nicely around her waist sealed with a red heart buckle. Black ribbons lined the edges of the dress. (Waffles designed this; I have no idea what I'm talking about)
Someone in the crowd whistled.
Clarisse scowled but sat down anyway; back to the Stolls.
"I'm a free man; so I'm available. You ladies watching, give me a call and we'll have a pizza later," said Conner.
"That wasn't what I asked," I said. "I asked who that special girl is."
"I don't got one."
"Figures, Travis who is you special girl?"
"It didn't say that on the review, so I don't have to tell who but I what I feel," said Travis.
Crap, he's craftier than I thought.
"And you've got to work on you pick pocketing."
Okay, I'm impressed. Much to my dismay of getting nicked (you British people know what I'm talking about) by a kid, although you could make the argument that he is the son of a thief.
"Back to the dare; this feels more like a talk show every day," I muttered to myself.'"Well she can make anyone have that growing felling inside just by smiling and eyes that sparkle with life," said Travis.
"It's Aphrodite, isn't it?" I asked.
"No," he scuffed.
"Whatever you say, next is Forgotten Moments who says 'I dare Grover to go hug a cyclops from Poseidon's underwater forges. Then proceed to wear a yell cocktail dress and ride Blackjack while screaming "Run! Run! It's horrible! There's an invasion of-of-of TURKEYS!" Percy then yells at him for stealing Blackjack.
Percy: I dare you to dress up as one of Santa's elves, but with an addition of a pink tu tu. Then you must take a ferrie to Victoria, Canada and bingee jump of the Capilano Suspension Bridge while singing Kelly Clarkson's I Do Not Hook Up at the top of your lungs.
Annabeth: I dare you to model for Trvis, Conner, and Percy. The outfits must be made by Aphrodite herself. You must model a casual outfit that consists of a skirt, a bikini, and lastly, an evening gown.
Thalia: I dare you to turn every demigod boy in Camp Half-Blood into a jackalope. Then sing Baby by Justin Beiber to Chiron and then proclaim your love for pencils to Hermes.
Nico: I dare you to wear a completely pink, frilly, and sparkly outfit by Aphrodite herself and then after, still wearing the outfit, ask Ares if he would go on a date with you. If he doesn't agree, go sulk to Hades and if he agrees, take him to Mozart's Puck in Hawaii.
Clarisse: I dare you to dress up in one of those Victorian dresses with the big, powdered wig, powdered face, a lot of make up, and all that. Then ask the Ares cabin what they think of the outfit while imitating a New Jersey accent.
Rachel: I dare you to eat a 5 course buffet made by Waffels. You have to eat ALL of it with only a little bit of help from Percy. Afterwards, you have to hump into a swimming pool filled with pudding, then cover yourself in whipcream. Have Travis, Conner, and Nico throw cherries, sprinkles, marshmellows, and any topping. You can't clean up afterwards. Anyone is welcomed to eat from the pudding pool.
Waffles: I dare you to start waltzing with a juffin before changing it into the flamingo. Then eat the muffin and spit it out onto Thalia's face. Then start running for your life away from Thalia.
Liam: I dare you to wear a light pnik tu tu and do ballet in front of everyone, that includes all the gods, minor gods, nature sperits, and demigods fron CHB.
gilly boy: I dare you to dress up like Nico before the dare I gave him and sing Boyfriend by JB to Dionysus and then ask Hades if he would wash Percy's underwear.'
Um Stolls, this one is for your eye's only."
They had huge grins on their faces. That cannot be a good sign!
No time to dwell on that. "Since I don't know many Cyclopes from the forges, I just called in Tyson. Oh Tyson!"
An over sized kid bounce up on stage. I think Waffles will like him.
Grover seemed to relax a lot and gladly gave Tyson a hug and went backstage to change. Few minutes later, in a yellow sun dress riding on Blackjack; although I wouldn't call it riding, more like a Pegasus rodeo. Blackjack was bucking everywhere, trying to shake Grover off; while he was trying to say "Run! Run! It's too horrible! It's an invasion of-of-of TURKEYS!"
"Run! Run for your lives!" screamed Waffles.
"From what?" asked Annabeth.
"I don't know, RUN!" (Waffles)
Percy looked pissed as Tartarus. Thankfully I pushed Percy backstage into Liam's ghost; of course he passed right through him. The only reason I knew he was there was because of a floating elf costume.
Percy grudgingly put it on and left the building; he'd better come back in one piece, Hera will need him later. Annabeth immediately started sketching, she must be really looking forward to seeing the in a dress.
"I can't turn males into jackalopes," said Thalia.
"Have you ever tried?" asked Grover.
"Well… No, but…"
"Would you like to go to the fan room again?" I said.
"No!" shouted Thalia, then her face twisted into concentration.
I'm not gonna go into details, although Rachel looked a little green (green, get it? XD Never mind -.-) watching. Where Travis, Conner, and Nico used to be, jackalopes had taken their place; The Stolls were brown with reindeer horns all they needed now was a shiny red nose and they could pass off as a miniature versions of Rudolf; Nico was black with deer horns.
"I guess I can turn people into jackalopes," said Thalia.
"BUNNY RABBITS! In Viking helmets," cried Waffles before scooping up the Stolls and Nico to a hug/squeeze them to death.
"I can't breathe," gasped Nico.
"Crap, I was going to ask to borrow your jacket Nico." I said.
No worries sis, there's a replica in the back, assured Liam.
"You're a life saver bro. Oh and Thalia, here's the mic," handing it to her.
Before she could sing, a jackalope appeared on screen. It was pure white with elk horns; even though it was cute, it looked really pissed. My first thought: Demonic Bunny!
"Who in Hades' name turned me into a rabbit?!" yelled Percy.
"She did it!" I said pointing an accusing finger in Thalia's direction. Which got me a glare before salt water was dumped on her.
"Wasn't me," said the Rabbit.
The water started forming ice crystals, and I think she was turning blue.
"That," began Percy," was me. Now change me back; it's bad enough I was a guinea pig."
Mm… One of these days I should invite Circe. "Uh, Thalia, go backstage and get yourself warmed up before you get hypothermia. Liam will provide the blanket."
Alright! Some time with the ladies, said Liam.
I merely stared at him (well that's assuming he was there); even when dead, he still has hormones. I couldn't help wonder if he ever watched the body changing video in the Underworld. Thankfully Thalia didn't hear that (perverted) comment.
Back to Percy, "Sorry Perce but you're not changing back 'til after the show."
"But what about my designs, I'm almost done," said Annabeth.
I nearly face palmed myself, crap forgot. "Finish those up, then we'll get Percy and the Stolls back to normal.
The jackalopes in the crowd all cried in protest, saying that monsters won't take them seriously. As said before, after the show.
Now back to Percy; he looks so cute in a tutu!
He already had the harness on, and hopped off; it surprised me that he didn't break his spine immediately; I guess he still had invincibility. Question, do you what a singing rabbit sounds like? Cause I couldn't tell if he was singing or screaming.
The screen pulled up and Thalia came back on stage. "Liam didn't try anything on you, did he?" I asked. The worst case scenario in my mind was her shouting "We're getting married!"
"No, why?" she asked.
"No reason. Finish up your dare, than Nico's got to wear something pink!" Okay so I couldn't resist squealing at that last part.
Waffles twirled a lasso that had a pretty pink outfit onto Nico, well that saves up time.
"What, I don't get an opinion?" said Nico.
"Apparently not," I answered.
"You look good in pink," chuckled Conner.
"How did Waffles get that dress over the antlers?" asked Annabeth.
"Who knows, even I'm afraid to look into her subconscious," I answered. People just trust me on this one, Waffles is scarier than Kronos.
Percy hopped in and looked at Thalia expectantly (arms folded and tapping his rabbit foot).
"Done!" cried Annabeth.
"Alright, give that to Aphrodite, while I take pictures of Nico just because he looks so cute as a bunny!"
"Help me!" cried Nico getting chased under the couch.
5 minutes later…
"Wow that was fast," remarked Rachel.
"I know, but what can I say, I work best with fashion," said Aphrodite before flashing out in an overwhelming perform cloud.
The boys on stage were already changed back and, thanks to Aphrodite, in the clothes that Annabeth designed.
Percy was in a nightgown that looked like it was from the Disney version of Peter Pan (the one Wendy wore). Travis was in a white bikini (here's the link: imgres?q=bikini&start=137&num=10&hl=en&biw=1366&bih=599&tbm=isch&tbnid=_kcgXfSByEfj3M:&imgrefurl= . &docid=25U1JIdnxW-tuM&imgurl= . /_yCREceCY9Z0/TIhipVEm3XI/AAAAAAAAAMg/3cuCJ5l1ZC4/s1600/celebrity%252Bbikini% &w=424&h=572&ei=89BUUP78HKKciQL94IGgCw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=842&vpy=98&dur=2222&hovh=261&hovw=193&tx=88&ty=285&sig=118024013382454076299&page=5&tbnh=133&tbnw=102&ndsp=36&ved=1t:429,r:15,s:137,i:272) and Conner had a blue layered skirt and a sleeveless wrap blouse (not my design either).
"Look out below!" cried Waffles, jumping from the catwalk and landing on Percy. He definitely would've broken something if it hadn't been for Achilles' curse.
"What are you trying to do? Kill someone?" I shouted.
"Maybe," said Waffles before skipping off stage to do who-knows-what.
Handing Thalia the microphone again, she yelled "This song is for Chiron!" When she finished, the crowd was wild (she must really be popular). "I'm Thalia Grace and I love pencils!"
"That was excellent! Nico, go ask Clarisse's dad on a date."
Clarisse had a look of disgust as Nico walked out. Oh crap, I just remembered that my dare was before Nico's. Jumping out of my seat and ran backstage and switched jackets; grabbing the mic from Thalia and sang. Waffles was rolling on the floor screaming "Make it stop! Make it STOP!" although I think I did okay, no one else was complaining.
Before running off to Hades, someone asked "What's got her in a rush?" No time for that now; quickest way to Hades is the elevator, with the fee from Charon. Thankfully the demigods only had to pay one gold drachma to watch. Don't judge me, how else am I going to pay for Hermes delivery service?
Ignoring the creepy underworld and sprinting at full speed; banging on the door and yelling "Yo Hades, open up!" the door finally opened and there sat Hades and Persephone. They were obviously in a heated discussion and not paying attention.
"Yes Nico, what do you want?" asked Hades.
Do I seriously look like Nico?
"I was wondering if you could wash Percy's underwear."
He turned to look at me. "You're not Nico."
Thanks for stating the obvious.
Next thing I knew, I was enveloped in shadows; it happened so fast that my mind couldn't process that I was sitting on Clarisse. What the-? I'm a girl too, is Hades trying to play matchmaker without Aphrodite knowing? 'Cause if he is, he's doing a terrible job of it.
Scrambling off too quickly results with a face slam to the floor; "Ow," I moaned, rubbing my nose. "Let's just check in with Nico, can you hand me a bandied Liam?"
The screen came down and showed Ares watching TV? Either he was watching my show or some sappy soap opera.
Nico walked in, "Hey Ares, want to go on a date?"
Ares was startled by the question or that someone dared to interrupt his TV time.
"No."
Nico seem pretty happy about the rejection because he was skipping out of the room like the little girl he's dressed as. He shadowed traveled to Hades and Hades (I mean the god) looked at Nico as if he sprouted two heads.
"Who are you and what have you done with Nico?" asked Hades, and then the screen pulled up.
"While he sulks, Stolls you're up!"
They smiled mischievously. "Don't worry, we've got this covered," said Conner before running off.
"Yeah we're experts at this," said Travis before running after his brother. I feel sorry for the poor guy.
"Clarisse, while they're doing gods-knows-what, you can go dress up."
"Yay, dress up!" cried Waffles jumping up and down like a happy school girl.
"Whatever," Clarisse grunted before going backstage. A minute later, she came back looking like the villain in 'Barbie as the Island Princess.' Wow Aphrodite works fast. To make things easier, the Ares cabin was sitting in the crowd. "What do you think?" she asked.
Her whole cabin booed and thumbs down, some shouted "That belongs in Tartarus!"
Clarisse face flushed by anger and embarrassment, she stumped off.
Time to get Nico, well almost; "Waffles, get cooking!"
One hour later…
"Is something burning?" asked Grover.
"Oh, that happens all the time," I replied. "Liam, bring in the food!"
Whatever it is, it smells horrible, said Liam. I'm guessing his nose is in the air of the other direction.
First meal was an old newspaper, second was a piece of wood on fire (thankfully Percy put out the flame), third was a deep fried boot with slugs, fourth one was tank full of gold fish with the instruction to eat the bowl not the fish, and last was an unconscious Waffles (face on the platter with her butt sticking up) with an asparagus in her mouth.
"There's no way in the world I'm eating all this, especially not Waffles!" shouted Rachel. "She is just an innocent little girl."
"Are you people blind? She's the incarnation of the devil! Do you have any idea of the horrible things she's done?"
"So I was a good girl?" asked Waffles.
Another face palm for her stupidity; wait if Waffles is standing by the door, then who's on the plate? We all looked between the two. "Please don't tell me some one cloned Waffles, its bad enough I have to deal with one," I said.
"Manikin power," cried Waffles.
"Whatever Waffles," I sighed. "Rachel, seems like you're not going to do the dare, off to the fan room!"
She shrugged, "It can't be that bad."
Few minutes later…
"I was wrong! Those fan boys are way bad," cried Rachel. She wasn't as bad a condition as Thalia but she still looked messed up. "When this is over, I'm suing those boys!"
"Take a deep breath and calm down," soothed Annabeth.
"While Annabeth tries to relax Rachel; Liam it's your turn and, to be honest, I did not expect you to get any dares." I said.
Thanks for the confidence, sis, he replied. The sarcasm was very thick.
Assuming that Liam is backstage, I made some phone calls. Soon there was a full house, may I should have done the show in the coliseum.
Out came a floating tutu. Actually, he was hiding behind the door.
Can't I go into the fan room instead? He asked.
"Nope, Waffles and I had to do it. So you have to do it too," I answered.
But your both girls, of course you'll be into this stuff.
"I don't care, now move it before I personally take you the Fields of Punishment! And don't worry; nobody will see how red your face will be."
That got him moving, muttering No one can see me at all.
"Don't you think that was a bit harsh gilly," asked Percy.
"No."
When the performance was over, Liam got off stage as quick as he could.
"Waffles, your turn," I said, handing her a muffin.
"Yay," said Waffles, already in a flamingo costume. How does she do that? Waltzing with a muffin was easy for her but she put the whole muffin in her mouth. Instead of spitting it on Thalia like she was supposed to; Waffles threw a pie at her which still resulted in getting chased. She's still going to the fan room but not right now.
"Last one for tonight, this is from all-star120938. This guy wants me to do a jig; oh if you're watching all-star, mind if I call you that, I call everybody guy so don't be offended." I reassured, while doing the running man off stage. "Thank you and good night!"
A/N: Ow my hands hurt, this is the most I have ever written (at least 4,000 words). Before forget, stop talking behind my back; where ever you are. Seriously are you trying to give me a cold? One more thing, all the randomness that happened was Waffles' idea, I just approved of it. Also Waffles wants more dares for herself. Don't worry if I forgot to do you, I'll get them next episode. To help my writing, give me some constructive crisism. Bye!