Title: Now or Never
Author: dagnabit87
Show: Rookie Blue
Pairing: Gaily/Holly
Rating: Pg-13/T
Disclaimer: I do not own Rookie Blue or any or the Characters. They of course belong to the creators. I am using said characters to create my own little spin on the Rookie Blue world.
A/N: thanks for the lovely reviews and words of encouragement I have tried to respond to everyone :)
Now or Never
Chapter Two
Gail cradled the steaming cup of hot chocolate between her hands blowing gently across the boiling hot liquid. She smiled gratefully at her brother as he flopped down on the chair opposite her carefully placing his own cup on the coffee table which was acting as a barrier between them. If there's one thing that Steve knows about his sister it's that in times like this, when she's on the brink of falling apart, she needs space, she needs to feel like she can escape if she needs to. If she feels trapped she has one go to move, she bolts.
The detective has found it difficult these last few months, having to watch his little sister struggle, normally he'd give her time to work through what she's feeling and then eventually she'd come to him to unload. Gail has always been someone who holds all of her feelings inside until she reaches breaking point and then she goes off the rails in one way or another and in the past that's manifested itself in numerous ways. When she was fourteen she died her hair bright purple, when she was sixteen she left home for a week and didn't contact their parents at all, safe to say that didn't go down well. These days she tends to get drunk almost to the point of alcohol poisoning except for that one time last year when she cut her hair off, now that was a shock to the system but Steve actually thinks he prefers it now.
The Gail sitting in front of him is something that he's never witnessed before, she looks defeated, curled up on the couch making herself as small as possible as if trying to protect herself from the world around her. Her gaze is focused on the window above Steve's head but she isn't really looking through it, she's in a daze, her mind reliving what happened with Holly over and over in her head on a loop taunting her.
'Gaily.' Steve whispers keeping his voice low waiting patiently for her to come back to the here and now. The glazed over look she's wearing slowly dissipates and her eyes begin to focus on the safe familiarity of her big brother.
'I don't know what to do,' Gail mutters her head falling back to rest against the couch. 'What do I do Steve?' She asks squeezing her eyes shut fighting against the second onslaught of tears that are threatening to fall.
'You tell her.' Steve says like it's the most obvious thing in the world. He takes a sip of his hot chocolate enjoying the feel of the warm cup against his hands in stark contrast to the bitter chill that rages on outside.
Gail rolls her eyes at her brother's brazen response, 'I can't tell her.' She whines, her child like manner reminding Steve of when they were young and their parents would make them go out for early morning runs. 'She's happy Steve, she's happy with she who must not be named.' Gail feels her face flush red as he brother's eyebrows shoot up in surprise, 'Holly makes me watch them sometimes when I go round…'
'You wouldn't watch Harry Potter for just anyone,' Steve says chuckling lightly when Gail shrugs refusing to meet his gaze. They both sit in comfortable silence for a few moments as Steve contemplates his next words carefully. 'Is she really happy?'
'Joanne's a lawyer.' Gail reasons.
'So.' Steve leans forwards in the chair hands clasped together in front of him unsure of what exactly Gail is getting at.
'She can buy Holly the big house in the suburbs, she can take her on the fancy holidays, she can take her to five star restaurants, or at least she would if she wasn't so fucking stupid.' Gail huffs, the remaining residue of self-worth she has left is hanging on by a thread.
'You think that's what Holly wants?' Steve asks incredulously, 'Holly doesn't want that.'
Placing her mug down onto the coffee table Gail curls her legs up against her chest and rests her chin on her knees as she ponders Steve's words. 'She deserves it though.'
'Holly deserves someone who will love her, Gail.'
'Joanne doesn't love her,' The blonde seethes her steely gaze trained on her brother, that familiar feeling of hatred seeping into her bones at the thought of Joanne not loving Holly in the way she deserves to be loved. 'Not like she should.'
Steve hold his arms out to his sides palms raised to the ceiling as he shrugs, 'no anyone who does?' He asks knowingly. Gail wilts under his scrutiny, his question sounds so simple but the slight edge to his tone, the glimmer in his eyes, gives way to the challenge he is laying down for his sister.
This is where Gail would normally shut down, tell him to piss off and mind his own business, but she doesn't. She can't carry on like this. 'I love her.' The blonde says gently. 'I'm in love with her.' Then louder, more determined. Confident. Perhaps…
Steve smiles widely at Gail, the pride evident in is body language, the assured nod of his head, the way he slaps his palms down against his thighs, 'Yea you do slugger.' Gail rolls her eyes at him playfully. 'So what happens now?'
'I'm going to text her, see if she'll agree to see me.' Gail says jumping up from the coach, her knee knocking against the table causing spots of brown liquid to drip down the edge of her mug onto the once pristine wooden surface.
'Really?' Steve asks in surprise, 'I thought that it would take a slightly longer more advanced Steve Peck pep talk, my powers must be growing if-'
'Shut it, Steven.' Gail rebuts as she fishes her phone out of her back pocket and begins typing as Steve looks over her shoulder.
We need to talk, can I come to your place?. Gail xx
The minutes pass as they both watch the phone. 'What now?' Steve asks receiving a back hand to the chest from Gail. Two sets of blue eyes stare down at the small device being clutched tightly in Gail's palm, her normally steady hands begin to tremble as the seconds tick on. It feels like forever but it's only mere minutes when her phone lights up in her hand causing her to jump so violently she almost sends the phone crashing to the floor, her well-practiced reflexes the only thing to ensure that doesn't happen. 'I can't believe they let you fire a gun.'
Gail doesn't acknowledge Steve's dig instead remaining focused on her phone.
I'm at work.
'She's at work,' Gail's says indignantly, 'what the hell does that mean?'
'I think it means she's at work.' Steve quips only just managing to successfully dodge his sister's flailing arm. 'It means you need to go to the morgue and see her.'
'What if she doesn't want to see me,' Gail huffs, her earlier exuberance giving way to another attack of nerves. 'This is hardly an invitation.' The blonde pinches the bridge of her nose with her thumb and forefinger as she tries to decipher what the brunette's message could mean.
'Just go Gail.' Steve instructs picking up Gail's jacket from the back of the chair and thrusting it into her arms. 'If you don't do this now you never will.' Gail looks at him sceptically, 'suck it up, you're a Peck, you can do this.' Steve's heavy palms clamp down on top of Gail's shoulders.
'You're right,' Gail conceded.
'Once more with feeling Gaily.'
''You are absolutely right. I'm a Peck! I got this.' Gail nods her head in affirmation taking one last look at her brother feeling encouraged by the confident smile etched across his features.
Gail stands just out of sight leaning against the wall opposite the doorway taking a few moments to calm her nerves and allowing herself some precious seconds to watch the figure that occupies the lab. Normally Holly moves with such carefree grace that Gail can't help but stop and stare but today as she watches Holly work the brunette's strained movements don't escape the blonde's attention. Instead of floating around the room a smile gracing her lips, eyes glimmering happily Holly is hunched forward, her hip resting against the mortuary table her gaze down cast.
The blonde takes a tentative step forwards until she is standing in the doorway to the lab. Holly must sense someone's presence, Gail would like to think that Holly just has a sixth sense where the blonde is concerned, that they are somehow connected on a deeper level where they are able to feel when the other is near, brown eyes meet blue and Gail feels her heart sink when the pathologist immediately turns her back on the blonde.
'What do you want Gail?' the brunette asks picking up a folder resting beside her she begins casually flicking through the file trying to give off an air of nonchalance but Gail can see the tension on the brunette's face in the way her forehead furrows and she bites at her bottom lip.
'We need to talk.' Gail says, her tone unwavering, 'I need to tell you something.'
'I gave you the chance to talk earlier. I gave you the chance to talk last week, last month.' The brunette's voice is gradually increasing in volume, 'but you've been pushing me away. We're friends Gail, it probably sounds ridiculously juvenile but I thought we were best friends but now something's changed.'
'I'm so sorry Holly.'
'Jesus Christ, Gail!' Holly slams the report down, the sound echoing through the lab making the blonde jump. 'I'm so pissed at you!' The brunette spins round throwing her arms up in the air in frustration. The sudden action causes her to take a sharp intake of breath her right arm coming to rest against her chest as she cradles it gently with her left.
'Holly,' Gail says, her voice barely above a whisper, 'what's happened? Are you okay?' The blonde's chest tightens at the thought of Holly being in any kind of pain.
'I'm fine.' The brunette holds her hand up to keep the blonde at arm's reach. 'Why are you here Gail?'
''I want to apologise.'
'Apology accepted.' Holly snaps vehemently, 'you can go now. Didn't you get my message? I'm busy'
Gail ignores the dismissive response taking another step forwards, 'I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I'm sorry I'm such a coward Holly.' The brunette watches her with a look of puzzlement. 'I've been wanting to tell you for so long. I should have told you ten months ago…' Gail see's the realisation dawn on Holly's face. 'Holly, you need to know. I can't hold it in anymore.'
'Oh God.' Holly whispers as a single tear mars bronze skin. 'You can't say this if you don't mean it Gail, you can't say it and then take it back.' Holly breathes in deeply her eyes misting over as another tear falls quickly followed by another and then another until one merges into the next.
'I mean it.' Gail breathes out, standing so close to Holly that she can almost taste her lips. 'Holly,' Gail pauses momentarily overcome with emotion culminating in a smile stretching across her face a smile that's reflected back at her by the women she loves. 'We've wasted so much time,' Holly raises her eyebrows at this and Gail rolls her eyes playfully and for a moment things feel like they used to before it all got so messed up, 'I've wasted so much time, I've always wanted you. I think from the moment we met but instead of doing something about it, I ran and I can't apologise enough for that.' Gail raises her hand and trails her knuckles down the length of Holly's cheekbone, 'I realised I couldn't live without you but then it was too late, you were with Joanne….are with Joanne.' The police officer corrects herself. 'You'd only been together two months when you told me that things were serious between you two and that was the final straw. I couldn't kid myself anymore,' Holly stares at Gail in disbelief, 'but I was too late, you were happy with Joanne-are happy with Joanne.' The blonde corrects herself again the force of her own words hitting her like a sucker punch to the chest. 'You're happy with Joanne.' Gail whispers her words catching in her throat.
'I am happy with her Gail,' Holly concedes, 'sometimes…' the brunette trails off. Seeing the look of confusion on the blonde's face Holly searches for the right words to explain herself. 'From the moment I met you, you've been inside me Gail, right here.' Holly says gripping the material that covers her chest over her heart. 'I try to be happy with her because I have no choice.'
'You have no choice?' Gail asks softly.
Holly's eyes glisten with emotion, no one has ever looked at Gail like this before, like she hung the moon and the stars, it's almost too much for the blonde…almost. 'You're perfect for me Gail. We're perfect for each other, I've always known that.' Holly giggles softly as she speaks and it's like music to the blonde's ears. 'But when I thought you didn't want me, when you said you didn't want me,' Gail feels a bang of guilt deep in her chest, 'and you told me you only wanted to be friends, I was just willing to take what I could get.'
'Holly…baby.' Gail sighs, her term of endearment bringing yet more tears, happy tears, to Holly's beautiful eyes. The blonde reaches down and gently grasps the brunette's wrist giving it a firm squeeze as she pulls Holly the remaining the distance towards her.
The brunette's sudden yelp in pain catches Gail completely off guard, like a bucket of ice cold water being thrown over her the overwhelming emotions of the last few minutes evaporate. She immediately releases Holly's wrist and watches in horror as the brunette bites at her bottom lip and proceeds to take slow, deep, even breathes in an attempt to keep her reactions under control until the pain passes, not wanting to worry Gail. One look into blue eyes though and Holly knows she hasn't been able to disguise the amount of pain she is in from Gail, the smaller women is a police officer after all.
'Show me.' Gail requests leaning into the brunette carefully moving the injured wrist away from the brunette's chest and cradling it delicately in the palm of her hand. Gail uses her other hand to carefully roll up the sleeve of the brunette's lab coat.
'Gail it's fine, it's nothing.' The blonde shakes her head at the brunette, 'honestly Gail it was an accident.'
The blonde gasps at the angry bruise that's beginning to form in a loop on the usually pristine skin that wraps around Holly's wrist. 'Holly…' The blonde trails off. Holly keeps her eyes trained on Gail whose eyes are down cast inspecting the damaged skin, her pale thumb rubbing soft, barely perceptible circles over the marred flesh hoping to offer the brunette some kind of comfort.
'I promise it was an accident,' Holly smiles at the blonde hoping to reassure her. 'We were having a fight and it just happened.' Holly gulps as blue eyes narrow and look up from her wrist boring into her and she knows that she's said the wrong thing.
'Joanne did this.' Gail seethes. 'What happened?' Holly struggles to find the words, 'Tell me.' The blonde demands.
Holly shrugs trying to play it off like it was no big deal. 'Like I said we were arguing,' the brunette's gaze flits around the lab, looking anywhere but at Gail. The blonde's heart sinks, they were fighting over her. Holly got hurt because she and Joanne were fighting about Gail. One look at the blonde and Holly knows that Gail's figured it out.
The blonde steps away from the brunette releasing her hold on Holly's wrist, the red mist has set over her. 'She hurt you.' It's not a question. The words sound bitter on the blonde's lips.
'Gail please calm down,' Holly pleads. 'We were fighting and I tried to follow her into her bedroom but she slammed the door closed onto my wrist. It was an accident.'
Gail shakes her head, 'She hurt you.' Gail steps forward and places a soft kiss to the corner of Holly's mouth her words strained. 'Have you ever had an accident like this before?' Gail asks only just holding it together, Holly's silence tells Gail everything she needs to know. Gail presses a second kiss to Holly's cheek, 'I'm sorry.' Holly is confused by Gail's apology but as the blonde turns and sprints from the lab the realisation dawns.
''Gail!' Holly calls out but the blonde has already disappeared through the door and is out of sight.
Holly reaches into her lab coat pocket and fumbles with her phone as she desperately tries to type in her passcode getting it wrong twice before successfully getting it right the third time. She quickly scrolls through her numbers until she finds the one she's looking for. Holly holds the phone to her ear as she stumbles around the lab trying to find her car keys.
Holly hears the click of the connection in her ear, 'Traci, it's Holly. I need your help. You need to get come and get me from the lab we need to go to Joanne's right now. It's Gail…'
So that's chapter 2. This story will have between 5-8 parts and then I will try my hand at a longer story.