Hey all! I greatly apologize for the gaps between updates (especially since I said I would have this up last week), but I'm going to try really hard to get this back on a weekly update schedule. So thank you for your patience and motivating reviews! Keep an eye out for more consistent updating. I hope you enjoyed the Halloween Oneshot! And I am so happy so many of you love Max as much as I do ;) So as always, thank you for the favorites, follows, and reviews, and please read, review, and enjoy :D

Disclaimer: I do not own anything regarding The Mortal Instruments series.

-Clary-

There's too long of a nose.

The eyes are squinty.

The chip in the tooth is all wrong.

Do you really think his hair is that curly?

And on, and on, and on my inner monologue goes chastising me on my inability to draw the boy who left my mind whirling.

I rip another failed drawing out of my sketchbook and crumple it into a ball, throwing it on the ground so that it can join the ten other crumpled balls at the foot of the couch.

Why is it so difficult to draw him? I mean, yeah, he looks like a god damn angel, but I've drawn him before and have never had a problem. Actually, that's a lie. I've drawn him once, and it's a side profile, so I guess I don't really have an excuse. Jace has just left my mind boggled.

I sigh out in frustration and toss my book on the coffee table, effectively ending my drawing session, and lean my head against the couch as my mind becomes consumed with thoughts of Jace. Did everything that happened today really occur? I punched Sebastian, got detention, was embarrassed by Jon, kissed Jace, and am now dating him. Jeese.

Before I can let my thoughts wander to the events that played out with Jace earlier, there's a knock at the door. I pull myself off of the couch, kicking some of the failed pictures of Jace on the ground in my haste to get to the door. For a slight moment, I think it's Jace, but I quickly distinguish that thought, knowing he's with his brother. I open the door to find the next best thing.

"Simon!" I exclaim before wrapping my arms around his neck.

My enthusiasm of seeing him takes him by surprise as he shuffles back a few steps out of the doorway with me in his arms trying to avoid us falling to the ground.

"Woah, hi to you too," he chuckles as I release my hold on him and take a step back. I smile at him, to which he gives me a confused look. "What's got you all light and cheery Fray?"

Oh, if he only knew.

"Can't a girl be happy to see her best friend?" I ask innocently as I drag him into the apartment.

"Well," he ponders, "yes, if you hadn't seen him in like, a couple days or something. But Clary, I was with you at lunch and I would have been with you walking home on a normal day, which I guess, it wasn't," he gives me a sideways glance. "And that actually leads to why I'm here Miss 'I punched one of the biggest asshats in the school today.'" With that I get a pointed look from him through his glasses.

"Oh," I remark while avoiding his gaze, "that."

"Yes that!" Simon all but shouts as he flings his hands in the air. "Clary! What were you thinking!? He could have hurt you, or you could have gotten suspended or expelled, and then what? You would be -"

"Simon," I cut him off. I know he means well and he's freaking out because he cares, but I can't help the bit of anger that wells in me at the thought that he doesn't think I can take care of myself. He stops speaking and just stares at me, telling me he's listening. "I'm fine, okay? Please don't freak out. It's done and over with. I served my detention time and now we can move past it."

He gives me an incredulous look. "Just move past it? Clary, do you have any idea how worried I've been?" I just shake my head, because why should he be worried? He lets out a deep sigh. "Imagine going to class after lunch only to hear people talking about how your best friend was just practically assaulted by Sebastian and how she ended up punching him in the face, or knocking him out, or kicking him in the groin, or whatever rumor is actually true. All I know is that apparently there was blood. How you have no idea if she is okay, what rumors are true and which ones are false, if anyone was there to help her, where she is, if she's hurt." His steady brown eyes never leave mine as he's talking.

"And then," he continues, "you leave your class freaking out trying to find her, but she's nowhere to be found. You find out from Izzy that she has detention, but that she's okay. She hasn't answered any of the tons of messages you have left her, and then you find out that you apparently shouldn't have worried because, as Izzy puts it, 'Jace was there to protect her.'" He puts air quotes around that last part and it's hard not to miss the sneer in his voice.

And just like that, guilt washes over me. I didn't even think about Simon waiting for me to walk home after school, or him hearing rumors about the fight, or him trying to make contact with me. I'm pretty sure I haven't looked at my phone since this morning. It's probably still buried in the bottom of my bag.

What makes matters worse is that I had just said to Jace earlier that I didn't want to ditch Simon walking to school, and that is exactly what I've been doing all day not telling him I'm okay.

"Jace," Simon states with loathing, breaking me out of my guilty thoughts, "Jace Lightwood was there to save you."

With the guilt comes back my earlier anger.

"I didn't need saving Simon! God, why can't you believe that I can handle myself!?" I yell at him, and he's clearly taken a back. "I'm not some defenseless little girl who needs someone around saving her ass every five minutes!"

Simon rolls his eyes at me before stepping toward me, but I take a step back, the anger getting stronger and stronger. "Jeese Clary, do you think I don't know that? You could kick my ass in about two seconds if you wanted to. I mean really, you've had freaking self defense classes and you know how to handle yourself." He takes another step forward and I don't move. I stand my ground and cross my arms over my chest, glaring at him.

We never fight. Simon and I never fight, and it's such a strange occurrence that I don't think either of us really knows how to react. But I am mad, and it looks like he is too, but he's much better at controlling his temper.

He closes the distance between us and places his hands on my shoulders. He looks thoughtful as he says, "I'm just upset that I had to find out all of this information from everyone but you."

He gives me a small smile, but then it turns into a frown. "That, and that I wasn't there if you were to need help. The fact that Jace was there makes it even worse."

I pull back so that his hands drop to his sides. "And why is it such a bad thing that Jace was there? If I needed help, he could have offered it," I tell him throwing his words back at him. Why does he hate Jace so much?

"Because Clary," Simon says in a frustrated voice, "Jace is bad news, and you've been spending a lot of time together."

"Woah," I say as I take another step back so that my legs bump into the arm of the couch. "What the hell does one thing have to do with the other?"

And it's like everything clicks into place for me.

"This isn't really about me getting into a fight is it?" I say taking a furious step toward him, and this time, he takes a step back, eyeing me warily. "I mean sure, if I was in a fight any other time, of course you would be worried, but this fight? This one is different because Jace was there if I needed help. Jace was there, which is why you're angry at me! Because Jace was with me and you have this inherent hatred toward him!" I shout at him with fury radiating through me and I point an accusing finger toward him.

I have never seen Simon angry before, but after my rant, it's clear that he is just as angry as I am.

"You know what Clary? Yeah, that is part of it," he states and we're eyeing each other up at a standstill. "Because I told you he is bad news, and you hated him at the beginning of school year. You ignored him. You said that you couldn't stand him, and yet here you are, laughing with him and joking with him whenever you get a chance ever since the dance! What the hell is going on!?"

"Why does something need to be going on, huh?" I yell, even though he's right, there is something going on. "Why is it such a big deal that Jace was with me? Why does it matter if I spend time with Jace? Why do you care how much time I spend with Jace?"

"I don't like you being around Jace, Clary, okay?" He stares down at me from his height.

Anybody staring down at me like that makes me feel small. It's pointing out how small I am. How defenseless someone like me is constantly labeled as. And it makes me blazing with fury that Simon is doing that, whether it is consciously or unconsciously. It's a low blow.

So I take a low blow back at him.

"Jesus Simon! WHY ARE YOU SO JEALOUS OF JACE!" I scream at him.

"Because I'm in love you!"

The room goes completely silent except for our uneven breaths from yelling.

Simon's shoulders slump in defeat as he looks at me with a hint of desperation in his eyes. "It's because I'm in love with you and I care about what happens to you. I want it to be me there to help you if you need it. I feel like I'm losing you Clary. You've been different the past few weeks, and I don't know what is going on."

For a moment, I wish that we were still screaming at each other. Still arguing over that stupid fight with Sebastian, because this somehow is ten times scarier.

I walk backwards until I bump into the couch again, and I lean back and sit on the arm of it.

"You don't mean that," I whisper to him, unable of thinking about the possibility that he's telling the truth.

"Yes I do," he says with such confidence I'm forced to meet his gaze, only to see him avoiding mine.

I stand up and walk toward him, taking his hands in mine as he looks at me. What am I even supposed to say? "Si, you're my best friend. Of course we love each other, but it's not that kind of love. We're not in love with each other."

He lets out another sigh before saying, "Clary, I don't know what kind of love it is. I've never loved anyone like this before, but I've also never had a best friend like you and I've never really been in love with someone," he closes his eyes, "and I just don't know what it is."

I pull him toward the couch and we both sit down, facing each other. I do love Simon, really, I do, but it's such a different feeling than being around… Jace. An idea pops into my head and I go with it because I don't have any other thoughts popping up in my mind and being useful.

"Okay, well how about this," I say, and Simon looks at me full of innocence.

My Simon.

My best friend who always watches out for me.

Who was protective of me that first day of school.

Who would have punched Sebastian in the face if he needed to, even if he probably would have gotten beaten to a pulp.

Who is… jealous of Jace.

"When we're holding hands," I lift our joined hands for emphasis, "do you feel electricity running through your body?" I think of the way Jace's touch makes me feel. And how holding Simon's hand is different. It's reassuring and comfortable, but it's not the uncontrollable energy I feel with Jace.

Simon looks at me confused, but then shakes his head no.

"Okay, and when we're playing video games, are you constantly aware of the distance of our bodies? How if you moved a little to the left you'd be that much closer to me?" I think of Jace and me watching the movie before.

Again, he shakes his head. "I'm more concerned with making sure you don't beat my high score," he mutters, and I laugh into the quiet room.

"And when you see me walking down the hall, does your heart start racing and an involuntary smile come to your face? Do your palms get sweaty?" Just as Jace's had when he kissed me? Just as he says he can't help but smile when he sees me?

"No," Simon sighs in defeat, "I don't feel that with you. I feel like I can trust you more than anyone else in the world. I could spend hours upon hours with you and never get tired of you. I can be myself around you and you won't judge me, and I've never had a person in my life like that before."

I smile at him now, because I know exactly what he means. "I feel the same way about you too Si, but that's not mind blowing romantic love, is it?"

This time he gives an imperceptible shake of his head, probably having an inner battle on whether I'm right or not. God I hope I'm right.

I can't lose him.

I let go of his hands and bring mine to each side of his face so that he has no choice but to look me directly in the eyes. "I love you Simon Lewis. You're my best friend and I will never stop being yours, but I'm not the girl that's going to blind you with happiness. I'm the girl that's going to throw you head first at that girl who does do that because you'll think that she doesn't want to talk to you, when in reality she's dying for you to. I'll be the girl to listen to you gush about how perfect she is and how she's 'the one.' And then on your wedding day, I'll be your best man and tell you 'I told you so' because there is that girl out there waiting for you Simon. It's… it's just not me."

We just stare at each other for a few minutes. That's when I really take him in. Simon is actually very handsome with his chocolate brown eyes and messy brown hair, and any girl would be lucky to call him hers. I'm lucky that we've become so close, because he's my family. Him, mom, Jon, and Luke are my family.

"I love you too Clary Fray," he whispers, and his breath brushes my face. I smile at him and pull back so that we are both sitting back on the couch with our heads tilted toward the ceiling.

"So…," Simon says like he's addressing the ceiling. "If what I'm feeling is not 'mind blowing romantic love,' then I guess now would be a good time to say I'm sorry."

Relief washes over me that he sees what I see, or at least, is open to thinking that his love for me is not what he thinks.

"For what?" I ask in the same way, like I'm questioning the ceiling.

"I don't like being angry, especially at you. And it was uncalled for when I started yelling at you," he tells me while still looking at the ceiling.

He would apologize for that because he's Simon. Harmless, always good-natured Simon. "It's okay, it's not like I didn't yell at you either," though my temper is much shorter than his.

He must agree because he starts laughing, "Clary, if you hadn't started yelling I think I would have been more afraid."

We both laugh at this and he takes my right hand into his left. "You know I really just want you to be happy, right?" He asks softly.

I don't say anything, just nod while turning my head to look at him.

"And I'm just afraid you'll be hurt. I mean, look at the incident with Kaelie, I wasn't there and I felt awful about it. I was home sick and playing video games while you were being turned into a walking orange air freshener." I snort at that, because I did smell like oranges for a good three days after the fact.

Simon had felt awful about the Pandemonium incident, and I guess now I understand why he was so upset.

At that moment, Simon shifts his feet, kicking some of my crumpled pieces of paper that I had thrown on the ground. He looks down at them confused and picks one up. "Have a hard time drawing something Fray?"

Then he starts opening the paper.

A small amount of panic sets in at the realization that Simon will definitely be able to identify who is in the drawing. And in the other ten pieces of paper lying at our feet.

Instead of reaching out and trying to rip the sheet out of his grasp, I just sit there and watch him warily, afraid of what his reaction will be after we just had our first major fight over the exact same person in the drawing.

Simon opens the paper excruciatingly slow, drawing out my worry. He opens the paper and stares at the drawing of Jace with extremely curly hair.

I can tell you the exact moment that he realizes it's Jace from the furrow that forms in his eyebrows. And it's pretty much as soon as he opens the paper.

"Well," Simon says in a quiet voice, and I'm unsure if he's angry or sad… or both. "I guess I really didn't have a shot, did I?" He laughs at his joke, but there's no energy in it. He meets my green eyes, but he's not angry. I honestly don't know what emotion it is.

"You know what?" He asks while taking my hand again, squeezing it reassuringly and telling me he's not angry. I can feel a giant weight lifted from my chest.

"What?" I whisper to him.

He gives me a smile, a 'Simon' smile, and it's like we are discussing a picture of a tree and not a picture of a guy that he hates. "Izzy told me that it would happen, that it was so obvious that you two had feelings for each other, but I didn't want to believe it, even though I see the way you look at him. I'm not sure if it was because of the way I feel about you, or because I was afraid he would hurt you, because I've seen the broken hearts of lots of girls that have dated Jace. My guess would be both."

This time I squeeze his hand reassuringly. "I don't think he'll break my heart Si."

He looks thoughtful as he says, "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think your right."

Shock and surprise must wash over my face because Simon looks at me and starts laughing at my reaction. "Jeese Clary, don't look so surprised," he jokes while scooting closer to me and nudging my shoulder.

"Why do you say that?" I ask him because I need to know why he is taking this so well.

"Because," he says with his brow furrowed again, "he looks at you the same way Clary. I've known Jace since we were in kindergarten, and I have never seen him look at anybody the way he looks at you. I was just trying not to see it. Plus, Izzy has been saying it's the most obvious thing in the world, and she seems so hopeful that you guys will end up together. She cares a lot about you Clary, and she knows how her brother is. I don't think she'd be rooting for it if she thought you'd get hurt."

I can feel myself starting to smile uncontrollably at the thought Izzy will be happy for us. That, and that Simon seems to be okay with the idea of Jace and I together.

"Well," I start tentatively, because he has taken everything else so well so far, I'm not sure how he'll react to my next bit of news. "We're kind of- well, we're- um-"

Words just keep sputtering out of my mouth with no coherent thought behind them.

Simon starts laughing again, "I don't think I've ever seen you this flustered Fray, just spit it out."

I take one deep, hopefully relaxing breath. "Jace and I are dating Simon."

One second…

Two seconds…

Three seconds tick by before he speaks. "And are you happy?" He looks at me with no anger or disgust, he actually smiles a little bit.

"Yes."

I don't even need to think about the answer.

Simon turns toward me and wraps me in his arms in a hug. I welcome his warm embrace and wrap my arms around him tightly. He's so skinny I can easily wrap my arms and link them behind him.

This feels right. I feel safe in Simon's arms because he's been there for me ever since I've moved here. He's dealt with my temper and my eccentricities, and I will never give that up for anything in the world. All those days we've played video games or just sat and read comics and talked are days that I value more than I think he will ever know.

I tuck my head into his chest, and I can feel a rumble start there, like he is laughing.

"What's so funny?" I ask while pulling away to look at him.

He smiles down at me while still chuckling. "Nothing, it's just that, Izzy's been saying that I'm the reason that you and Jace have been getting close and I didn't think that it could possibly be true until now."

At that, I definitely look confused, because I can't see his logic in that whatsoever. "And how did you both come to that conclusion?"

"Think about it Clary. What if I hadn't fainted in Bio and we went to the dance together. Do you honestly think everything would have worked out the way it did? Izzy said Jace is the one who took care of you after Kaelie threw the punch on you, do you really think that would have happened if I was there by your side?"

Huh, he has a point. Replaying that night's events, if Simon had been there, he would have been the one to help me clean off the punch. I actually probably would have gone after Kaelie because Simon wouldn't have carried me away like Jace had.

My best friend had helped me with my boyfriend.

Go figure.

An involuntary smile stretches across my face. "Well then thanks for passing out in class Simon."

I feel the rumble of laughing in his chest again, "Anytime Fray."

Silence takes over for a few moments before a thought occurs to me.

"Wait a minute," I say as I think about everything Simon has said, "since when do you spend so much time with Izzy?" Because all the information he didn't get from me, he seems to have gotten from Izzy.

I look at Simon to see his face start to flush red and the tips of his ears turn as bright as a tomato. "Well- I mean we were- She just- I asked her-"

I start laughing now.

"Why, I don't think I've ever seen you this flustered Lewis," I mimic his earlier words now that he's in the hot seat.

I smile to myself at the realization that I may be throwing Simon at his girl earlier than he expects me to. I just need to see if Izzy gets just as scrambled as he is. A plan already starts unfolding in my mind.

"Shut up Fray," he mumbles as he releases me and sits back further on the couch. "Hey, I have a question for you." Great.

"Okay…" I draw out the suspicion in my voice.

He starts speaking fast like he wants to get the words out before he stops himself. "Those things you asked me, about the electricity and energy, do you feel that with him?" He clears his throat. "I mean, do you feel that with Jace?"

Yes is my immediate thought, because I was thinking about everything I feel with Jace and what he has said to me when I asked Simon. But I see where Simon is going with this, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that yet.

But I tell him the truth, because he deserves it. "Yeah Simon, I do. It's so strange, but it's exhilarating too."

He ponders this for a moment before his next question. The one I was hoping he wouldn't ask.

"Are you in love with him?"

I've known Jace for a little over a month. Can I really have fallen in love with him already? The thought is so surreal that I'm left speechless.

"Oh come one Clary, just say it," Simon tells me with an amused look.

"I honestly don't know Simon," is the response I give him.

'Maybe' is the response I give myself.

Before he can ask me any more love-heavy questions I change the subject to something he had said earlier. "Do you really think I can beat your high score?"

He rolls his eyes at me, but a guilty smile curves onto his face. "Now come on, I'm a video game ninja, you can't possibly beat me."

Then we're back into our usual groove, teasing and laughing and just having fun. I know he's not 100% happy with the idea of Jace, but he's my best friend, and he's willing to be open to it so that I'm happy.

And I will be forever grateful for that.

"I can definitely beat you, you know," I joke, but there is confidence in my voice.

Simon's competitive gleam is in his eyes.

"Bring it on Fray."

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