p A.N/ Hey everyone! I'm back! I have been changing my mind a lot about this chapter and even rewrote it a few times but here's the finished chapter! BIG thank you to GIR3c Zae Marks irok2hard broweiss27 Chibisensei110787 for your awesome reviews! Also thank you to all you readers! I never though I would have so many favourites and follows! Anyway, thank you for waiting and I hope you enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 17
" Because I... I was taking advantage of the situation."His answer took me by surprise. Advantage? So was he just using me?
Hesitantly, I went forward with the interrogation," What... what do you mean?"
"" I needed to confirm something." He spoke seriously.
" Confirm what?"
"Before he answered my question, he looked directly into my eyes with a tender, unwavering gaze.
Gently, he confessed," Whether or not I have feelings for you."
My heart thundered in my chest. All this I was hearing was true. There was no reason for Hikaru to lie. Especially since he is such an honest person.
Quietly, I uttered, " Did you find your answer?"
"My answer is... I like you, Hazel." Sincerely, he smiled with a earnest, thoughtful gaze.
A confession of love. How didn't I see this coming? Deep sorrow filled my heart. Not only am I going to hurt his feelings but my own. Since I don't like him, is it too selfish to remain friends with him? What would he think if he knew my feelings for Kaoru?!
" Why? Why me? There's nothing about me for you to love!" I stammered out with doubt.
His face had a tinge of red brushed across his cheeks as he spoke, " You were one of the people who helped me expand my world. You're strong for someone who has been through so much. I really admired that about you. You should have more confidence."
A part of me should be glad that I finally found the answers, but I feel so... lost.
I thought love wouldn't have to be so challenging. The fairytales I was so fond of as a child, didn't seem to be bright and magical as they once were. Fairy tales are not reality. My reality seems only to become more bitter the more I try to find the truth. In this case, it was more hard hitting that my love won't come true.
" Hikaru, I ca..."
Hastily, he cut in, " I want you to take me seriously. So I want you to take your time and think things over carefully. I want you to see me as a man." Then all seriousness fade from his face as he wore his usual menacing grin.
" Anyway, we better get back to the camp. I bet the others will all be wondering where we are." He announces as he stiffly walked off which made him look like a robot with jerky movements.
He left me in the company of my thoughts. Subtly, tears pricked my eyes. Frustrated, I rubbed my eyes. Hikaru definitely got one thing wrong. I'm not strong at all. I'm weak. Always running away. But this needs to change otherwise others will get hurt.
There is no way I am going to get overly emotional because of this. At the next best opportunity, I have to reject him as quickly as possible. Then, I need to be free from my feelings and I will finally confess to Kaoru once I have rejected Hikaru. Even if my feelings remain unrequited, I will finally be able to move forward.
With a newfound resolve, I felt much more assertive. Even though I was going to go against my master's orders, it was about time I finally start to find out what I really want. Once my debt is paid, what will I want to do? And I certainly don't want to be so dependent on the Tokinawas after they have done so much for me.
Being with host club had inevitably opened my eyes. They showed me that I can have freedom despite being bound to the Tokinawas. They don't control my feelings. Only I do.
Once I joined the rest of the group, they all stared at me in a curious way.
" You took your time heading back." Kyoya stated as he looked directly at me through with his stainless steel rimmed glasses.
"I was just admiring the scenery. After all it will be the last time I see it for a while." It wasn't exactly a lie, it's not like I will come here anytime soon after this
" Don't you worry! Daddy will bring us all back here another day!" Tamaki announced in determination to please me.
"This time, I spoke honestly from the heart," It's been a lot of fun. I definitely wouldn't mind coming again with you all."
" Hazel..." Tamaki spoke in surprise before he glomped me. " Of course, we'll come again! Maybe we should bring the ladies to the woods!"
Unintentionally, I had started the king's next crazy scheme for the host club.
" I can see it now! During the day we will all bond playing commoner game and go frolicking in the woods!"
" Frolicking? What are we? Horses?" The twins questioned, sounding unimpressed.
Unfazed, Tamaki continued fantasising as he spoke, " Then at night, we will all gather around the fire toasting marshmallows and telling stories around the warmth of the fire. But that's not the best part! The best part is that we will all be spending a romantic night among the stars!"
" Are you comfortable to allow the the ladies to sleep in tents, Boss?" Hikaru asked.
" We can always find a place with lodges or have tents like Nanami is staying in." He replied in a confident tone.
" Tamaki, give it a rest. The club's budget can't handle anymore of your wild schemes." Kyoya insisted greatly.
" But Kyoya we need to have more fun with the ladies! I'm sure they would all enjoy spending time outdoors!" Whined Tamaki.
" I don't think the ladies would enjoy all the creepy crawlies there are." Kaoru mentioned.
" Also, it's fairly muddy so they won't want any clothes getting wreaked." Hikaru stated.
" If you want to do something fun organise an event on the school grounds. That would be less hassle and most likely in the budget." Advised Kyoya wisely.
"Once again, Tamaki glowed as he had yet another inspirational idea." We can have a day playing commoner games and have a party with all kinds of commoner snacks! And everyone can have commoner coffee!"
" Yeah!" The twins and Honey cheered happily as they punch the air with their fists.
" You do realise that 'commoner' snacks are the same as the fancy snacks you always buy but are a lot cheaper." Haruhi said sounding indifferent about the idea.
" I like the sound of this already." Kyoya spoke in an unusually pleased tone.
" Then it's decided the host club are hosting a commoner theme event!" Declared Tamaki excitedly.
" To have a full understanding of commoner culture, you should ask Hazel. I'm happy if she helps you for the event. We still have plenty of staff on the estate so it won't matter if she's gone." Nanami offered.
As I glanced at her, she smiled politely and gave me a knowing look. She was reminding of my place. No. She was putting me on the spot. Subtly, she was putting me to the test; to see whether I will take her advice seriously. Considering how wild my emotions were right now, I will have to find a quick way to settle all this.
" Is it really ok?" The host king asked with his lavender eyes sparkling with hope as he stared directly at me.
" Since it's fine with Tokinawa-sama, I will happily assist you and the club." I spoke in a professional manner.
" That settles it! It's good to know we can depend on you! Haruhi, please also share your commoner knowledge with the rest of us." Tamaki requested.
She sighed unhappily, " I don't have much choice, do I?"
" So you'll help?" He replied hopefully.
Reluctantly, she said," I suppose I'll have to."
Dramatically, he declared as he went to cling onto her, " I knew I could depend on my little girl!"
" Are we still playing truth or dare?" Asked Hikaru sounding slightly bored.
" I think it's getting kind of late to do anything else." I explained, hoping to avoid anymore awkwardness.
" By the way what did you ask Hika-chan?" Innocently, Honey asked with his large chocolate eyes brimming with curiosity.
Immediately, the happy facade I had been playing had been broken. Frozen, in place I tried to move my mouth but no words seemed to form.
" Does anyone really need to know?" Interjected Hikaru as he started to sound defensive.
Instantly, Tamaki went into overprotective father mode and demanded," Nothing bad happened did it? What do you do to my daughter?!"
" I didn't do anything so stop panicking, Boss. She asked a question and I answered it. That was all. Enough of this, I'm going to sleep." He sounded irritated and shoved passed Tamaki, retreating to his tent.
" Hikaru, wait!" Kaoru shouted after him, clearly concerned with his brother's actions.
Both the Hitachiins had now disappeared out of our sights. The silence lingered over the rest of us. What I had noticed was Nanami was wearing a slightly bitter expression as she looked at me. She would definitely have words with me later on.
Instantly, Honey looked down at the ground sadly, holding Usa-chan tightly as he spoke, " I wonder what's wrong with Hika-chan?"
" Maybe Hazel's question was more personal than we all thought." Nanami commented casually.
One look from her cause me to freeze. Her icy blue eyes glared superiorly at me with the same sternness that her father's eyes would hold when someone had overstepped their mark.
Sensing the tension, Tamaki stepped in to ease the situation by speaking a in soothing voice," We should all lighten up. It was only a game."
" Clearly, something has been happening under our noses without us realising." She continued as she completely disregarded Tamaki's previous statement.
Despite the earlier tension, I snapped," We all have secrets we don't want to share. So why should I be any different?"
A glint in her eyes shows a hint of satisfaction. Immediately, I knew. I made a mistake. She must know.
" So Hazel, you haven't had anything to eat yet have you? So do you want something to eat?" Haruhi spoke with a slightly awkward tone in her voice.
Even more awkwardly, I responded," Y-yeah! I haven't eaten since this morning! I'll go and get some ingredients now!"
Once I was about to race off away from the tense atmosphere, Haruhi grabbed my wrist.
" You shouldn't do anything to strenuous. Let me cook for you at least." She offered helpfully.
" Thanks."
" Aw, my daughters are bonding! I should help them out!" Fawned Tamaki.
" Tamaki, after your inedible experiment this morning, don't you think it would be better to leave it to Haruhi." Kyoya quickly intervened.
" But our daughters will need our help!"
" Senpai, I don't need your help. I can manage just fine on my own." Haruhi spoke slightly agitated.
" Kyoya! Haruhi told me off!" Whined the host club king.
It was no surprise that the Shadow king shunned his friend and left him in despair. Since Tamaki was a natural cheery person, it didn't last long. Shortly after his revival, Nanami dismissed herself without baring a second glance at me. Even though she was gone, the uneasiness didn't leave me.
" Here you go. Sorry that it's only rice and beans. That's all we have left."
The voice suddenly surprised me. Haruhi presented me a steaming bowl of food.
Meekly, I said, " Thank you."
Carefully, she seated herself to my left and stared off into the blazing orange sky as she spoke, " Will you be in trouble with Nanami again?"
Heavily, I sighed as I answered, " Yes. But I should have seen it coming. "
" That isn't fair. You haven't done anything wrong." She said sounding frustrated.
" I have. It isn't just because I talked back to her. It's because I like Kaoru. As a servant I have to help maintain the relationship between the Tokinawas and other families and not cross the line between classes but I already have. I've screwed things up."
Then directly she looked at me right in the eyes as she spoke," Maybe you haven't screwed things up yet. You have to have happiness too. After all, it isn't wrong for someone to fall in love. Everyone will at some point."
" I don't regret falling for him. Even though everything seems difficult, I still want to be by his side no matter what. That's love, right?"
Pleased, she smiled at me and responded, " Yeah."
Haruhi's kindness only eased my anxiety temporarily. The next challenge was going to be talking with Nanami. Later on that night, everyone started to relax and rewind after witnessing the sunset. Not many words were spoken and even Tamaki dismissed himself quietly. Despite there being no disturbances throughout the night, my mind still wouldn't rest.
The next morning once again, I was groggy from a lack of a good night's sleep. I was up early enough to greet the morning sun to start the dawn of a new day. With nothing better to do, I sat staring at the sky intensely with my eyebrows furrowed as I tried to concentrate on how to solve my problems.
For a moment I twitched as I felt a soft breeze tickle the back of neck. Then a sharp wind hit my ear causing me to yelp softly and shudder. I snap out of my trance. A pair of sniggers caught my attention and I saw the identical pair of trickers directly in front of me.
" You know if you keep frowning like that you're going to get wrinkles soon." Hikaru teased.
" I was thinking." I mumbled, still moody from the lack of sleep.
Gently, Kaoru knocked on my forehead as he spoke, " Stop thinking so hard. You don't want those marks to be permanent."
" Anyway, what were you thinking so hard about?" Hinted Hikaru in a knowing tone.
Lightly, I flushed thinking back to the night before as I replied, " None of your business."
Forwardly, he said, " When you blush like that, it means you thinking about us right?"
" I wouldn't be surprised if she was." A new voice spoke full of authority.
Much to my own dread, Nanami emerged from behind the shade of the forest. Instantly, I felt vulnerable in her presence. I hope she doesn't say anything!
"Immediately, I switched into a professional tone, " You're up early today, Tokinawa-sama. Do you acquire any food or drinks?"
As I smiled falsely, she shot me a harsh glare. Her eyes piercing my facade.
" I expect you to act carefully around others in my presence Hazel. It's painful to watch you shamefully flirt with the hosts. At all times even on vacation you must act like a servant. Know your place." Her voice harsh and her words bitter.
In a shot, my facade fell as I flared up in crimson out of embarrassment.
" I'm sorry you had to see me discipline her. There is a line that has been crossed and I am simply resolving the matter." She gently smiled at the twins, who looked less than pleased.
" You have no right to ridicule someone like that." Kaoru argued as he shook slightly.
" I am putting her back in her place. She is a servant. Who is under my orders and is currently on duty." She stated in a matter-of-fact tone.
" You can't be serious!" Hikaru opposed.
" What's all the noise for?" Tamaki asked softly, emerging from his tent and Kyoya wasn't far behind him. Tamaki remained oblivious of the atmosphere before he opened his eyes to see the heated glares of the twins on Nanami.
" I am." Nanami said seriously.
Clearly irritated, the twins were ready to retaliate as they argued," You should..."
" Stop it! Now!" I interjected loudly.
All their stares caused me to burn in anxiousness.
With a deep breath, I looked up and faced them all.
" Tokinawa-sama is right. I have forgotten my place. I owe a great deal to them and I should be upholding their family name and not shaming it for I am dedicated to the household." The words left in a bitter taste in my mouth.
Nanami will never let me forget about my situation. Not even for a second. Humiliation was her key objective. The only way things can be made easier is if I dance to her tune.
" Hazel, you can't just accept this." Kaoru spoke sounding regretful.
Immediately, I continue," I am a servant of the Tokinawa household. The vow the staff make to the Tokinawas is to accept all requests and criticisms. To not answer back and to carry out all tasks to their standards."
Peacefully, she smiled as she acknowledges my statement.
" I'm glad you still remember the oath." With a quick flick to open her phone, she stared at the screen. She tapped the keys with her perfectly manicured nails before she grimanced. Then slammed the phone firmly shut before meeting my gaze.
" However, we must depart immediately. It seems we are needed back at the house. Quickly pack your belongings and then pack mine. I'll explain on the way." She went off in the direction of her tent.
As soon as she was out of hearing range, Hikaru grabbed me by my shoulder forcing me to look him directly in the eye.
" Why didn't you fight back?!" He shouted frustrated.
" Can you blame me? I am a servant who doesn't talk back to her master." I replied
He clutched my shoulders tighter and narrowed his gaze. His amber orbs glowing in fury as he said, " Why won't you at least let us help you?!"
" Hikaru, you holding Hazel too tightly." Kaoru lectured as he pried his twin's hands off my shoulders. My skin throbbed even after his hands left their position.
" There's nothing more you can do. Hazel is bound to the Tokinawas." Kyoya stated but this didn't calm Hikaru down.
" Why is everyone giving up so easily?" He demanded but all he saw was doubtful looks from Tamaki and Kaoru.
I regain my composure and tapped Hikaru's shoulder lightly, he greeted me with a stunned gaze as I spoke, " Thank you for getting angry on my behalf. You don't have to get involved in my problems."
" How can you accept this so easily?" He was defiant.
Bitterly, I smiled, " Accepting my parent's death is the hardest thing I have ever done. Nothing can beat that."
Silence loomed over them as I turned around and started to pack. As I finished I noticed Kyoya's notebooks neatly piled in the corner. I managed a weak laugh remembering his grim expression when he heard the bet. Carefully, I picked them up holding them close. I inhaled deeply, repressing any more emotion. As I exited the tent, their gazes were on me. Slightly hurried, I went to Kyoya and shoved the books into his chest.
" I think it's about time you had these back."
Blankly, he looked at me before smiling slightly, " I'm glad you remembered. I'll be able to catch up on all the work I've needed to do."
" Even you need a break Kyoya-senpai." I said fondly.
" I suppose I do." He commented quietly.
" Tamaki-senpai, give my regards to Haruhi, Honey-senpai and Mori-senpai."
" Don't worry, I'll make sure. Just don't work too hard. Daddies worry about their daughters!" He said remaining optimistic as possible.
" I know all too well! I've left some rice for you all if you want breakfast. I'm sorry there's no more beans. I must have finished them off."
" Do you think we care about that kind of stuff right now? We're worried and you keep acting like everything is normal. Show some kind of emotion!" Hikaru shouted.
" Look. Hikaru I said you have done enough already. Respect my wishes. That's enough for me." I raised my voice.
Just as I turned to go, a hand grabbed my wrist. Kaoru gave me a different gaze from his brother. One of understanding.
" Just reach out to us if you need us. Whatever you do please don't act too distant." He said softly.
" I'll do my best." I tried to give him an encouraging smile.
" Anyway, I'll be going. See you soon." I waved timidly.
Not waiting for a response I took off towards Nanami's tent making sure not to be late. Patiently, she read her magazine and had her suitcase out ready for packing. Efficiently, I worked and was finished within ten minutes. With one hand she slammed her magazine shut and headed out of the tent silently, as I followed her trying to keep up.
Surprisingly, the limo was already here. The door was swiftly opened by the chauffeur and Nanami elegantly slipped inside while I load the car with the luggage and then I proceed to slide into the limo. For some strange reason the chauffeur gave me a sorrowful look before he shut the door.
It's rare for him to interact with me so why the look of pity?
The atmosphere remained heavy and almost unbearable. Since it was still early, we zoomed along due to there being so little traffic.
As we near the house, Nanami opened her mouth, " The reason I had an outburst is that those boys are getting too attached to you. We need to remain professional."
" I know." I answered shortly.
As the car halted, she talked smoothly as she slipped off the leather padded seat, " My father has an urgent matter he needs to talk to you about."
Anxiousness filled in the pit of my stomach. What could it be about?
As I proceeded to retrieve the luggage, I was stopped by the chauffeur who gestured with his arm for me to advance towards the house. Gingerly, I bowed my head and walked slowly.
" Hazel! Welcome back!" Called a familiar voice and the jet black haired man was stood at the entrance. A hand clasped down on his shoulder holding him back.
" Hibiki. Calm down. Now isn't the time for this." Ren scolded with his forest green eyes narrowing in disapproval.
The usually cheerful cook's smile faltered as his cerulean eyes looked down avoiding my gaze.
" Why is everyone so serious?" I asked worried.
" Follow me." Nanami instructed with her back turned to me.
" Miss, may we accompany her? She'll need support." Hibiki pleaded sounding desperate.
" If you wish." She spoke with slight sympathy.
Concerned, I questioned him, " Hibiki, what's going on?"
With a grim expression, he tightly pressed his lips together looking slightly guilty. Ren wrapped his arm around my shoulders. He rarely does this. The last time he did this was on the day of the funeral. Something is seriously wrong.
The screeching creak of the door distracted me from my thoughts. I had been brought to the main office. Usually only imperative business associates were guide to this place. Today is an exception.
Streams of light flooded the room but the room remain bleak from the ash gray sky. Before I knew it, I was in front of the influential head of the manor, Akito Tokinawa. His figure was obscured by the lack of light. But as I moved closer, things became clearer. His usual rigid expression was broken. Hard, azure eyes had become softer and more welcoming.
" Take a seat." He stated in a monotone voice.
Immediately, I start to panic. Hibiki's hand started to cling on to mine. This was all too familiar. Robotically, I followed the order. Nanami took her place behind her father with a grave expression apparent on her face.
" No matter what I say this won't make things easier. It's about the investigation of the manor fire."
For a brief moment, my breath had been caught in my throat. Of all the times why bring this up now?
"" It was unfortunate that your parents fell victim to terrible circumstances."
" Not to be rude Sir but it's better if you got straight to the point." Ren spoke bluntly.
Slightly taken back by his display of defiance, Akito showed a hint of animosity before he went back to his empathetic expression.
Heavily, he sighed before directly looking in my eye, locking me in place as he spoke, " I suppose you're right. I have left the tension for long enough."
He spoke in a steady tone with the words easily rolling out of his mouth." Our worst fears have been confirmed. Someone started the fire. The police have now reopened the case."
" But the police called off the investigation! They said it was an accident!" I opposed.
The words faded away. No. No. This is not happening. I know I thought it could be true but nothing compares when you hear it in person. It isn't over. Hibiki held my hand tighter as my hand went limp in his.
Even though I had support, I felt isolated. My lips quivered. But no tears fell. Then anger boiled through my system.
" Hazel." Hibiki called tactfully. " Sir, I think she's heard enough for one day."
Akito sighed loudly before speaking," It's understandable. You may take the rest of the day off..."
" No Sir. I'll work. Now if you will excuse me I'll continue with my duties." I interrupted sharply.
" If that's what you wish then I won't stop you." Akito replied sounding tired.
Immediately, I hurried out of the room towards the kitchen. I didn't even bother to change into my uniform before launching myself into work: venting my frustration. Powering through tasks was the only way I know how to cope. I paid no attention to the looks staff gave me. All their faces were showing the same expression.
Pity.
Nothing's changed since then.
" Hazel, slow down now!" Ren shouted forcefully.
I continued, ignoring him. Annoyed, he snatched the cooking utensils out of my hand. Forcefully, he grasped my arm. His grip was so hard that his knuckles started to turn a ghastly shade of white.
I glared at him with a challenging gaze but he held a fierce glare of his own and refused to back down. His grassy green eyes burning in determination.
" What do you think your doing?" He demanded.
" My job." I snapped sounding more bitter than I intended.
Tugging didn't stop Ren's grip from loosening.
" That can wait."
" No it can't!"
" Just stop for one goddamn minute!"
The sound of metal clashing against metal grinds itself into my ears. Ren had slammed the kitchen utensils on the worktop not caring about making a scene. For someone who is usually so composed I must have really frustrated him a lot for him to get this mad. For a moment, I cowered away unable to speak.
" Don't run away and talk to us." He said calmly.
" I'm not running away!" I quarreled in a sullen tone.
" You are and you know it." Ren confronted me directly.
There was no where to hide. I promised myself not to run away anymore. Yet I'm doing it again! During this realisation, my defenses dissolved in an instant.
Losing all fierceness, I averted my gaze and spoke in a wistful tone, " What else am I supposed to do? I'm tired of having looks of pity. It's sickening!"
" Then accept them. People look at you in pity as they want to help you. Accept their help and you can move forward!" He lectured.
Weakly I laugh, " You make it sound so easy."
" Of course it isn't but by asking for help you can ease the pain."
Finally he let go off my arm and put a hand on my head and he smiled as he softly whispered, " You're not alone."
" Thank you." I responded by resting my head on his shoulder sighed deeply.
I guess it's true when people say shouting makes you feel better. I finally managed to calm down as Ren awkwardly patted my head.
" You can come out now." He called down as I felt his chest vibrate.
Mildly surprised, I lifted my head to see Hibiki scratch the back of his head laughing, " I guess you caught me."
" Of course I would. You're usually by my side so it isn't normal for you not to be there." Ren stated confidently.
" Aw. You're in a good mood today. I can't remember the last time you gave me a compliment." Hibiki gushed.
The usual composed cook hid his gaze as a hint of red swept across his face.
" Woah! He's blushing! Where's my phone? I have to take a picture!" Yelled Hibiki.
Ren's shyness converted into a slight annoyed scowl but he was still blushing.
He raised his voice," No you won't!"
" Hibiki. Ren. I have a request." The sound of my voice stopped their squabble and they looked at me.
" It's about time I visited the place this all started. Do you think you can take me there?"
Even though he was taken back by my request, Hibiki smiled in a buoyant way.
" Sure! Just let me go and get the car." He sped off in search of his keys.
" We're going now!" I exclaimed.
It turns out it was only a matter of seconds before he came back, still beaming while he fumbled to put on his worn tawny coloured coat.
" Yeah! Here Ren your coat." Perfectly, Hibiki had managed to fling the coat onto Ren's head.
" Isn't this too sudden? What about work?" I questioned.
" I'm sure that the head will understand. This is an exceptional circumstance so let's take advantage of it. Now come on!"
Before I had a chance to comprehend what was going on, I was guided to the back seat of a fairly ancient car with rust decoratively decaying the car near the wheels. It was clear that the once brightly mint green coloured car had paled over the years due to age. Despite the car's exterior, the inside was beautifully maintained with a mahogany dashboard and blindly bright white leather seats.
" It's a nice car isn't it? It's my pride and joy!" Hibiki boasted as he spotted my amazed expression.
" What about the outside? The rust's eating away the paint work." Ren commented skeptically.
" I was planning to restore more of it with my next pay check!" He defended.
As he twisted the key in the ignition, the car whirred repeatedly and you could hear Hibiki's frustration from the number of times he tried to restart the car.
" I think you need to get the car a new engine with your next pay check." Ren commented.
" It doesn't! It's should work in a moment." Right on cue, the car purred with a steady rhythm and Hibiki cheered. Finally we were off on the road. As the car hummed along with the steady beat of a music track on the radio, I closed my eyes. But the peace didn't last for long.
" Hazel, wake up already!" Shouted a voice.
" You shouldn't have woke her up! You know how tired she's been! I would have gone into the shop!" argued another.
Half asleep, I spoke, " Are we already there?"
" No. But we figured you might want to get some flowers for your parents." Hibiki said in a slightly sad tone.
" Here's some money." Ren shoved the note in my hand and clasped it shut.
" I already have some money though."
" This one's on us." Beamed Hibiki.
As they look at me with warm expressions, there was no way I could refuse especially since they were so kind.
" Thank you." I smiled in response and rushed into the florists. It didn't take long as I found the brightest coloured flowers I could find and brought them. My parents always like bright and colourful things. I rush back to the car and settled back into the seat. We started the journey again and we mainly sat in silence.
It didn't take long to reach the sight of the burnt manor. The majestic snowy white Western styled manor that we once worked in barely existed anymore. Inside the building, few lone walls are left due to the vastness of the distance the blaze had manage to travel. On the walls that were left, above the doorways were smears of charcoal. Bricks crumbled. Shattered glass. As we drove onto the driveway, I hugged the flowers closed to my chest.
White tents were scattered across the proximity of the house. Butterflies kicked in as I slowly walked towards the crime scene. At the front of the ashen coloured steps, there were several bouquets of various colours and types. Pieces of paper fluttered from the light breeze. Messages of sympathy. Everything was placed here in memory of them.
As I step slowly towards the flowers, my heart hammered. I clutched the flowers tighter. Breaths came quick. Flashes of flames appeared in mind. Petrified screams of terror. The fearsome heat. The feeling of being trapped. Alone. Everything seems as alive in my mind as it did that night.
An inhuman scream erupts from my throat as I clutched my head in pain.
It's not real! I'm alive! It's just a memory! I repeat this mantra until the vividness of the diabolic memory dies down.
As I opened my eyes images of red is replaced with the earthy tone of the ground and the dull tones of the sky. As I regain my senses, I realise I was clutching onto an arm with warmth surrounding me. A feeling of heaviness took over as I browsed my surroundings as I steadied my breath.I managed to capture a glance at a pair of watery cerulean eyes. Words started to become clear as my mind started to function. The trauma had finally died out
" Hazel!" A worried Hibiki cried.
" I-it's... over." I whispered relieved.
" Have you had flashbacks before?" Ren asked seriously.
Breathlessly, I responded, " Once."
" That was really bad. Was the other one this bad?" He continued with the interrogation.
" It wasn't as bad but I passed out last time."
" That's it. You're staying with us for the weekend," concluded Ren.
" I should be f-"
" Don't even finish that sentence. You're staying with us and that's final." He interrupted.
Slowly, I nodded before they finally took their arms from around me. Then, I proceed to finish what I had started. Without hesitating, I walked forward to pick up the flowers and I tried to make them less crumpled. I cradled the flowers before kneeling to place them in the centre of the other flowers. Softly, I stroked my cheeks to rid myself of the hot sticky tears. When did I start crying?
It doesn't matter anymore. Tears aren't a sign of weakness. It's a way to help dealing with pain and frustration./
" One day, you will rest in peace. I'll find out the truth for you, in your place." I vowed.
Feeling relieved I stand and took a deep breath as I faced the image of my trauma. There is no way I will let this get me down. At long last I have come back. Since I am facing the past, maybe I can finally start to face forward. The damage has been done. I will become stronger and face my problems head on.
" Let's go." I instructed as I walked away with my head held high.
I felt better when I was in the car, in a familiar setting. The car's humming was soothing as I was finally leaving.
" Thank you for dealing with my selfish request." I said loudly, disrupting the tense silence.
In the view of the front mirror I could see Hibiki's startled expression but it then changed to a heart warming smile.
" It's about time we paid you back. Especially after all the times you saved our cooking." He said cheerfully.
I laughed softly remembering their experiments of food.
" You owed me ever since you handed my key over to Kyoya Ootori and as a result I never got my spare key back." I teased him.
" What happened to it?" Asked Ren confused.
Fondly, I spoke," It was a prize for a game and I lost. The host club are full of unusual schemes."
" Are the host club the group of men who came over when they helped organise the ball preparations? Then you got a nose bleed." Hibiki wondered.
" That's them."
" I wondered why you seemed so different than usual. You like one of them, don't you?" Teased Hibiki.
" Yeah. He also happens to be the one that won the key." I said warmly.
" You better not go doing anything with him!" Ren spoke in a protective tone.
Immediately, I blushed a bright tomato red.
" Who said anything about that?! I haven't even confessed!" I yelled with a high pitched squeak.
Laughing erupted from the driver. Followed by my fellow passenger. Those idiots were teasing me again.
" You better confess soon! It's as clear as day that you like him. I dread to think what you're like around. I bet you're a nervous wreak!" Hibiki choked between laughs.
" Not all the time!" I retorted.
This caused him to laugh harder. At least we were in good spirits. I rested my head on the door. He is right. I will confess soon. A part of me wants to see Kaoru right now but that's not going to happen.
After the trip to the house, I feel more relieved. I can finally start to move forward.