wow! I am amazed! I had no idea there were so many of you who read! thank you so very much for the reviews! sorry I don't put all your names here, but I am so happy that you like this enough to review! :D so, of course I had to type you guys the next chapter as a token of my gratitude. and here, finally they talk. been waiting for that to happen, I hope it's not a let down to any of you. because I know you have been curious about this

Chapter )

They walked silently forward. He looked around him, seeing rather nice houses. So this was what this city's suburbia was, eh? He preferred his home more, even though it wasn't this big. But it had good view since it was in the third floor. And it was real, not pretending to be anything better than it was. This here seemed too fancy and shining. He looked at the blond. This area reminded Fai a bit. They both seemed pleasant and happy but in reality there could be all kind of dark things lurking in the corners, hiding behind a mask. As if the blond had felt his stare he looked back at him.

"We are nearly there"

he nodded. He was not drunk, but his feet were a little wobbly. Suddenly Fai grabbed his shoulder and stopped

"Wow. The world spins..." the blond mumbled, eyes wavering.

"Idiot" he said and helped the blond to stay up. Then he smirked "I won"

Fai shook his head and due to it staggered a bit.

"You did not."

"Clearly I did. You can't walk straight, and I drank more than you did"

the blond stared at him a moment and then dismissed it

"Whatever you say Kuro-pun" Fai said nonchalantly. The blond seemed to be deep in thought and then he continued "maybe we could stop for a moment in that park." the blond pointed with a fine finger "and maybe you can already talk there?" Fai looked at him questioningly. He looked at the park. It was just some kids playground. Definitely not in use at this time of day.

"Fine" he grunted "Can you walk?"

"Yes" the blond said and started walking. It wasn't exactly stable looking so he put his hand on Fai's back. "Yay! Kuro-min is so helping!"

he rolled his eyes but didn't say anything. It would just encourage the blond.

Fai steered towards a swing set. He was anything but sure that it was good idea to sit in those if the blond was feeling dizzy to begin with. But neither did he care to start arguing about something so small. Besides, the ground below was smooth sand. At worst it would just knock the air out of the blond in case he would fall.

With a sigh the blond sat down and he took the next swing. This was actually better than being in a room. This way they weren't facing each others and it was enough late that it was dim.

Fai swung his legs in the air. He wasn't sure how to start. He slowly blew his lungs empty, clearing his mind and preparing to start at the beginning. And to cut off all that wasn't necessary to understand the big picture.

"So" and then he paused. He hadn't told anyone about what had happened. Not for real, not even to his parents. Or to the police. "The school I started was one of those smaller school in the edge of a town." It disturbed him that the blond had been quiet so long. Usually Fai was always interrupting and asking questions. He glanced at the blond, who was intently staring him, seeing his glance Fai smiled softly. He looked ahead again. "The friends I had were the same I had had my whole life. We grew up in the same neighborhood and played together from the start. Most of us went to the same school." he paused for a breath and scratched his neck, looking up to the sky "at first it was all good, but few years back there started to be some serious bullying. I fought against them, because I wouldn't let anyone walk over me. And I also defended my friends, making sure they didn't get beating, they got to keep their lunch money and so on." he frowned in the memories but kept his voice nonchalant "of course in time that lead to the bullies gang up on me. I got into fights with them, was punished with them since I was causing troubles too. One time the fight was bad and one of them got a concussion." he was getting annoyed again just thinking of it. It had been so unfair "and when the adults got there, everyone involved blamed me, saying I had started it all, having come out of nowhere and started throwing punches."

he fell silent and looked down to the ground, gripping the swing lines with both hands. He felt a reassuring squeeze on his upper arm. He refused to look at Fai

"What about your friends? They must have done something to help"

he shook his head

"No. they were too scared. There were few there who had witnessed the whole thing, but they refused to comment. And when the teacher questioned them, they sold me out just so they wouldn't have to face the wrath of the bullies." he grimaced. He felt a tight not in his gut. "They said I indeed had started it all and that the gang hadn't even provoked me." he snorted in disgust "So I got all the blame from the fight. I was expelled from the school and got marks in my record."

"I'm sorry for you. That's no way to treat a friend. Especially not a friend like you who has done so much" he detected sympathy and pain, even a hint of anger in the voice. He cut Fai off

"I wasn't done"

"Huh?" the blond said ever so cleverly, craning towards him. He looked at the blond in the eyes

"Didn't you want to know all?"

the blond nodded slowly, a bit hesitantly

"But are you sure you want to tell? I mean, you have been drinking plenty and..."

he got up from his swing and went to stood in front of the blond, staring down

"You want to hear or don't. Don't try to put it on me that you don't want to hear more"

Fai shook his head fiercely

"No, I do want to know. I just don't want you to regret it later"

"It's up to you to be worth being told"

Fai sat in silence for a moment and then nodded.

"Gotcha. I'm all ears"

he crossed his arms and continued

"So I was forced to change school. My parents were mostly on my side when I told them about it, and they decided it should be okay if I just went to the center's bigger school. It was fine by me, since few of my old friends had went there to school. And for a while it was okay. There were bullies there too of course. But it was big enough place that I was mostly left alone. There were few incidents and I got detention and had serious conversations with both the teachers and my parents." he shook his head "but they just refused to hear me out. They kept saying I should keep my head down and not be so violent. But I was just trying to protect myself and my friends. You know what happened next?" he asked bitterly from Fai who shook his head, eyes wide. He chuckled darkly "the word got out and the first bullies heard I was still around. They had issues with me, claiming I had caused them huge problems and that I should pay for them. So the two groups joined forces. And one time when I had left detention I was walking home because it was quicker than wait for the buss that would take me home for an hour." he heard Fai swallow loudly and he narrowed his eyes looking the blond. He was completely trapped in his words, unable to stop listening even though he seemed terrified to the bone. "And they ambushed me. There were too many of them so that I could have gotten away. They surrounded me and dragged me to an alley. Most of them just used their hands and legs but some had baseball bats with them" he snorted in dry amusement "They thought they were some sort of real gangsters." his hands clenched in fists remembering it, even though he was trying to hide the turmoil he felt. "And so they beat me to a pulp. When I didn't come home, my parents started calling around. In the meanwhile someone had found me and I had been taken to a hospital. I was kept unconscious for few days due to some brain swelling. When I came to, I was asked all kind of questions by my parents and police. I heard my friends had yet again refused to defend me and tell how bad the situation had been, and said that at school everything had went well" he fell silent for a moment. Swallowing to wet his throat. In hoarse voice he finished "So I just told everyone I couldn't recall what had happened after leaving school and my parents decided that place wasn't good for me and we moved there. But they weren't exactly happy about the situation." he turned his back on Fai, refusing to look and see pity in his eyes. "so I swore I would not get close to anyone. I would not need friends who would take all the help that was offered and refused to help me in turn. And neither do I want to risk that they following me out here"

he heard a cling from the swings chains and Fai collided to his back, wrapping arms around him and holding him tight.

"I will stand by your side" he heard the blond's muffled voice. He snorted

"Easy to say know. But when push comes to shove, you will bail out too"

Fai pulled away and punched him sharply.

"you are the idiot here. If I say I do something, I will do it no matter what" he turned around and looked at the blond, who was standing there and staring him with a scowl. "I'm nothing like them." there was a twisted smile flashing his lips "I really don't value myself enough to be that selfish"

"Why not?" it was his turn to be curious and worried what kind of horrible things the other had in his life. Fai just shrugged with an air of uninterest

"Because I am not worth it" he still looked questioning and the blond sighed "people don't care about for what I am. They just want me to be what they need." Fai looked him in the eyes and tilted his head to the side, face all serious "so if you need help, I won't hesitate to assist you"

the blond was so serene and certain he found himself believing Fai. It was sad really, he had no troubles believing that the blond didn't care about himself that much. There were too much faked smiles and masks not to believe that Fai thought himself being meaningless and uncared. He didn't know why and how the blond had come to these idiotic conclusions, but he made a promise to himself to do his best to change Fai's perspective.

"I care" he stated boldly. Fai lifted an eyebrow, not buying it

"Didn't you just say you won't get close to anyone ever again"

"And didn't you say earlier that you don't want to get to know people, because you don't want to know their worries and to tell them your worries?"

the blond was silent and tried to stare him down. He just stared back "So we both have been wrong. And I would much rather be with the Fai that is hiding behind the masks and smiles. The real you"

Fai looked sad, the big blue eyes just pools of loneliness

"You say that now, but if you would know me, you wouldn't want to hang around me anymore."

he shook his head

"To begin with, I didn't want to have anything to do with you. You seemed to happy-go-luck, too carefree. Then your acting pissed me of. But lately I have noticed that you have changed. You relax sometimes. You let the mask slip. And I have liked what I have seen and learned."

there was a silence when he let the words sink in. then he said

"And since I have given you the change to prove me wrong, you should give me a change too"

the blond stayed silent a while longer, hiding behind his soft bangs. Then there was a wet chuckle and Fai looked him in the eyes with misty eyes.

"Okay Kuro-chu. It's a deal"

he grinned back to the blond, and he guessed what Fai wanted to do next and opened his arms a bit. With a smile the blond jumped in and hugged him hard. He closed his arms around the blond and held the figure in his arms a second time that night. And he didn't mind it this time either. His shirt got a bit wet, and he figured the blond was crying softly, so he just stood there and massaged the slim back and pressed his cheek against the top of Fai's head. He could wait until the blond was better again.

Fai pulled away a step, hands moving to rest on his shoulders.

"I think I am a bit drunk. You won Kuro-pon!" he shook his head in amusement for the blond's antics.

"So, let's get going again so we can sleep it off"

Fai nodded and stepped away from him, grabbing his hands and pulling him along.

"Okay, full speed ahead!" the blond claimed and dashed on. He had no idea how the other could run this fast when just moments before he had been dizzy. But he still let the blond pull him along, enjoying the cool night air against his cheeks. He had no troubles admitting that already Fai was more important to him than any of his friends had ever been.

oh, and I am positively surprised you even care about lil' me's doings. also thanks for the congratulations on the job. I am happy about it too :) I'm afraid the next update will have to wait til next week. I hope you still tag along! (and you know what I would like to get. and I really appreciate you for writing one. you certainly make my day better) bis später!