Longest chapter so far. I'm so proud. thanks again for the great reviews ChouRan and Guest8. I will keep at this, even though my work starts tomorrow o.o sorry though that updates will be further apart. and as for what will happen in the story, I don't know. we'll see what the future holds for us. and I think those two are indeed a bit drunk...

Chapter !=

They stopped in front of a house. It wasn't quite as big as Tomoyo's but it wasn't small either with it's two stores. It seemed horrible big for two people

"How about your.. mother?" he asked, glancing Fai from the corner of his eyes. The blond looked at the house, craning his head back a bit.

"She died before I came" Fai said still not willing to spill out his past despite all the drinks and the fact that he had told him everything. But maybe there wasn't anything more to it for Fai to say. Maybe he didn't know more about the surrogate mother he hadn't even had. Made sense. Which would mean he was being too suspicious and thinking that the blond wouldn't talk to him. Fai couldn't be that unfair.

He hoped.

"Shall we go in?" he asked "Or you tend to sleep on the yard?"

Fai smiled at him

"Silly Kuro-koi. Of course we go inside. I just figured you would want to admire the place I live"

he lifted an eyebrow

"Why would I want to do that?" he asked. Sometimes he didn't understand the blond at all. Fai looked at him in mock shock

"You mean you don't admire everything that has something to do with me?"

he swatted the blond's head. Not hard though

"Idiot" he muttered and Fai just laughed and dug a key out of his pocket.

"Well then, if you are sure you are ready..."

he rolled his eyes and pushed the blond towards the door.

"Enough of the games and let's get inside." he huffed and the blond didn't resist a bit.

Fai opened the door and with a deep bow pointed him to go in first. He held in the grin that the foolish antics caused. He had no idea where Fai came up with all this stuff but sure as hell it was not boring. Sometimes just way too much.

"Upstairs" the blond said over his shoulder when he had stopped to wonder where he should go next. He looked over his shoulder to see the blue eyes very close to his. He swallowed and turned his head forward again with force. He didn't know why he was blushing but he was sure that he was. It must be because of the alcohol. Not because he hadn't earlier been that close to the blue orbs that looked rather captivating on close range. Nor because he had felt Fai's breath against his cheek. He headed for the stairs making sure the blond had no way of seeing his face. He would never hear the end of it if Fai thought he had blushed because of his present. He thought back and his face went serious. Then again he figured the blond wouldn't think something like that was possible. Fai had zero faith in his own importance. even he could tell that the blond was good looking. He sighed. But the blond would anyway make fun of it, believing it was not true. He wondered why it was so hard for Fai to think he was worth something. There must be more to it than just the fact of being an orphan.

He noticed that Fai had not followed him so he turned around and saw the blond still standing there, staring at him silently. He couldn't read Fai's expression and he figured the blond didn't know himself what he was feeling. If something, he saw confusion in there. He looked back into the blue eyes.

"Why was you in orphanage?" he finally asked quietly. Fai blinked, then looked away and ruffled the blond hair with his hand

"I was just left there. I dunno why. I was small back then"

he narrowed his eyes. He was not sure if Fai was telling the truth. And since he wasn't sure, it made him positive that Fai was not telling the truth. He crossed his arms

"Somehow I doubt that you are being honest"

Fai glanced at him and lowered his gaze then. He waited and the blond looked back up, smiling again. While clenching his teeth together. He saw it took all Fai had to keep it up. He sighed and walked back to Fai.

"If smiling is that hard, stop. I don't care what has happened to you in the past, it won't change what I think of you"

Fai sifted his weight from foot to foot, refusing to look at him. He sighed again and took a hold of the blond's head, one hand on each cheek, making Fai face forward. He leaned down a bit so their eyes were in the same level. And just as it was hard for him to sometimes look away from the blue orbs, Fai had troubles looking away from his eyes. The blond ripped his gaze away few times, but it always slid back to his eyes. The blue eyes looked a bit panicked and he noticed they were starting to moist up. He didn't let go though, not even when Fai grabbed his hands and tried to release his face. But he was stronger that the slender blond.

"Fai" he called softly. The blond had closed his eyes tight in last effort to avoid him. "You can tell me. I won't go away" Fai opened his eyes, pain and doubt shadowing the blue eyes. Fai bit his lip and let go of his hands.

"Fine." the blond whispered, all fight gone. The blue eyes locked with his "My father left me and my mother when I was small. I hardly recall what he looked like" Fai's voice quieted the longer he talked and he could hardly hear the last words. Fai's eyes were a bit glazed when he was thinking back, trying to remember. "At first she kept saying he would come back. Then the mail brought divorce papers. It broke her. She started blaming me for it, saying that if I hadn't been born, he would have never left her. And that had I only been a better son he couldn't have left." Fai closed his eyes and a tear rolled out of the corner of his eye. Fai held his breath a moment to calm again. He felt a tightness in his own chest. He wished he could do something to wipe that past away. He wished he could fix Fai. Wished he would have never been broken. All he did now to show his support was gently massage Fai's cheeks with his thumps. Fai's eyes snapped open and looked at him. Realizing what he was doing, Fai smiled a bit and continued. "The neighbors heard her yelling and finally called the police. I was taken in childcare and apparently there was no relatives I could have been dumped so I ended up in orphanage" it hurt him to hear Fai talking about himself like that. Like the blond would be just a bother, not a living human being worth as much as anyone else."I was there a while and then Ashura came and chose to adopt me. I moved here and that's the whole story" Fai finished and draw a deep breath and slowly released it. They were rather similar he realized. They both tried to keep their pain and handle everything alone. Which lead that there was no one to help them see they were wrong. He realized now that his friends had just been way too scared to help him. It was wrong of them, but it didn't mean he couldn't trust anyone anymore. He just needed someone a bit more mature who knew what pain was like. And Fai was like that. Except the blond just didn't care about himself enough not to help others in need. It made him a good friend but not a healthy friend. And since Fai had taught him to trust, he would teach Fai to like and respect himself again. He would show the blond that he wasn't bad at all. Just crazy. He smiled a bit to the blond.

"Was it that horrible?"

Fai smiled back

"Yes. Definitely"

he still hadn't let go of Fai's head. And the blond knew this too

"Umm, are you going to let me go now?"

"Do you think it was your fault?" he asked back. The blue eyes wavered

"I don't know. I don't know if I was the reason he left" Fai said quietly. He sighed and leaned his forehead against Fai's forehead

"You weren't."

the blond was shocked silent for a moment. He figured because of both his words and actions.

"How can you tell? You don't know him either" the blond mumbled brokenly. In his voice he detected desperation and broken hope. The hope gave him a warm feeling. He had a chance to reach the blond.

"Because I know you. You couldn't be the reason why anyone would leave their home. It must have been just that they had other issues and the relationship just didn't work." he gathered his thoughts. He had to be careful what to say. And honest "Besides. Your mom sounds a bit loose on the top. It could have been just that your father got tired of her."

"Why he didn't take me with him? Why did then leave me with her if he thought she was not well?" Fai's voice was shaky and he could tell tears were close again. He sighed.

"I don't know. Maybe he just couldn't. Maybe he didn't have a place for you to stay. And it's general belief that small kids should stay with their mothers." they were both silent a moment "Don't ask me" he continued "I don't know why people think like that. It's stupid. But somehow men get funny looks if they are alone with a child. Especially if they have just moved to the area. It seems they are easily considered as pedophiles or kidnappers and stuff." he moved one of his hand to the back of Fai's head and entwined his fingers into Fai's soft hairs. "Maybe he was just thinking your best" he said. A lonely sob escaped the blond. He caressed Fai's cheek with his other hand "But no matter why, I know it was not your fault he had to go and leave you behind".

The blond shoulders shook and Fai grabbed his shoulders and hid his face into his chest. He let it happen. If the blond could let it out he would probably heal faster. So he just held Fai there, one hand in his hair and the other on his shoulder blades. He was happy Fai had talked to him. And more or less willingly. He was glad Fai had gotten away from his mother. But sadly it had caused some damage. He could only hope it would heal and leave only a slight scar. Like had happened to him. There was a permanent scar on his scalp and on his side but they didn't bother him. Just reminded him that shit happens. But also that he could face and deal with it.

"Feeling better?" he asked when Fai's breathing finally was normalizing. There were choked chuckle and Fai pulled away a bit. The bangs were covering his face so he couldn't tell what Fai was thinking. Not that he usually knew it anyway. Fai wiped his face and then looked up at him, eyes a bit swollen but having the feel of relief in him. Fai grinned at him.

"For a tough guy you sure talk sweetly" Fai said and laughed when he flushed

"Idiot" he just retorted, not having anything more to say. He had said all kind of cheesy stuff, but so he couldn't exactly deny the statement. Fai walked past him and started climbing the stairs. He followed silently. It was possible that the blond was just embarrassed after having told him everything. At least he hoped it was everything, but somehow he doubted it. It was bad, but surely Fai should have gotten over it here with his new life and home. He was frowning when Fai said

"Thanks".

The frown was wiped away and he smiled, glad that the blond wasn't looking. He was a bit hesitant to let the blond know how happy it made him to know that he had managed to help.

He yawned and Fai looked at him at the top of the stairs.

"I know Kuro-min, it has been a long night. Here is the quest room" Fai opened a door and flicked the light on.

"Right.." he said. He had been expecting to share a room with Fai. It was the normal procedure. Fai smiled at him mischievously

"You wanted to sleep next to me Kuro-tan?"

he loved the blond's tone. It was so happy and pleased. He enjoyed hearing it even though he usually only heard it when Fai was making fun of him.

"Of course not. Stupid" he said immediately "It's good I can sleep in peace without you snoring next to me"

"Hey, I don't snore!" Fai defended himself and he smirked

"And neither do I want you to throw up on me when the hangover hits you"

Fai fumed and stepped right in front of him, hands on his hips and glaring him

"I don't get a hangover."

he snorted

"Just like you don't get wasted either."

"I am not wasted. You are!"

"How mature. If you are not drunk, why don't you stop me?"

he had to admit. He had to be really drunk himself. That was the only way to explain what he did next. Since the blond had come to stand so close, they were just inches apart. And he closed the gap by pressing his lips on Fai's. They tasted a bit salty, but they were soft. He pulled away. And then he just realized what he had done. He tried not to show it though and only watched how Fai, eyes wide in disbelief, slowly touched his lips as if to trace the area he had touched. Then Fai looked him straight in the eyes.

"Good night" Fai said, close to monotonously. He feared he had done something he could never fix. But the blond didn't seem angry or scared.

"Night..." he answered and Fai swirled around and closed the door after him. He sighed and sat on the bed. Drinking with the blond was clearly not a good idea. They had talked too much and done too much. He pressed his face to his hands. Why was he such a fool. It must have rubbed of from the blond. He flopped to his back, tracing his lips with a finger. Fai's lips had been soft. He closed his eyes for a moment. Most of all, why wasn't he regretting what he had done. He should be. He may have ruined their just started friendship.

He sighed and got up and went to turn the lights off. Then the crawled under the blanket and burrowed his head into the fluff pillow. Maybe he would have a good luck and Fai would have forgotten the kiss by tomorrow.

Then he dozed off and dreamed of screaming woman and someone crying. And he was unable to go to help because he was surrounded and something hard hit him on the back, making him fall to his knees. He struggled to get up and go to the crying person, he knew it was important that he went there, to stop the crying. But blows came from all directions and he was unable to get away. He tried to shield his head, but he felt a sharp blow and then warm blood run to his hands. His vision started blurring and the sound of crying was the last thing he could concentrate, it filled his whole world.

He woke up with a jump. His heart was beating and he was panting. It took him a moment to get himself believe that it had been just a dream and he was safe and Fai wasn't crying now. He let out a deep breath and slumped back to the bed. Closing his eyes again he thought of the blue eyes and what they looked like when they were sparkling. In joy or mischief. He quickly fell asleep again, smiling in his dreams.

so. that is what has happened in the past. what about the present and the future? stay tuned for the next exciting episode of new start. yeah, I did watch English dragonball Z as a kid. all kind of reviews are welcomed, thanks for reading :D