Chapter 8: Sorting the Piles

Ranma roof-hopped down to the courthouse as quick as he could without causing any damage. He wanted to get there early if at all possible. He had a 3PM appointment with Judge Sanu and he was curious to see one of Ryuu's traps in action. "I just have to be careful not to get in the way," he thought. Ranma made it down to the court house with about ten minutes to spare and walked up to the front desk. After exchanging a greeting with the clerk, Ranma was told that the judge was expecting him, but that Sanu was running a little late in court. The clerk gave him directions to the judge's office and told him to wait on the bench outside.

Ranma followed the directions and was soon sitting on a solid oak bench across from Sanu's office. There was five minutes to game time, so Ranma studied the hallway, looking for any signs of something amiss. Try as he might though, he didn't see anything out of the ordinary. He swept his surroundings with his mind, picking up people working in the surrounding offices, but no one was in Sanu's. Of course, Ranma knew that Ryuu could shield his aura, so it was possible the assassin was in the office.

There was a clock above Sanu's door, ticking down the moments to 3PM as Ranma noted the features of the hall in greater detail. "Is the trap already set?" he asked himself. "Or will it come on-line at 3PM?" Ranma watched as the seconds hand swept through the "12" on the clock. Immediately, the hair on the back of his neck stiffened. "Game on," he thought, "but where is it?"

Ranma considered getting up and looking, but this wasn't his Game. He was an observer only. As soon as he completed that thought, Sanu came into view. "My apologies, Ranma," the judge said. "My last case ran over because the couple decided to settle suddenly and I needed to get the settlement written down. Just as well. Sometimes, people really should just get on with their lives."

"No problem, Judge Sanu," Ranma answered as he stood up.

The judge nodded and took out the keys to his office. Suddenly the man stopped in the very act of touching the door. Ranma just watched curiously, but didn't say anything. Sanu gently touch the wood of the door instead of the handle he was reaching for. He turned to Ranma and said: "The door's booby-trapped. Back-up a bit." Ranma backed up without saying a word and just watched. Sanu walked over to a janitor's closet and took out a large floor broom. He then stood as far from the door as possible and whacked the door hard. The sound from the door was wrong – there was obviously some sort of mechanism attached to it. A puddle of clear liquid flowed out from under the door.

The judge looked at the fluid for a minute and then at the clock. "I've got two minutes left," he mumbled to himself. Sanu went back to the janitor's closed and returned with a metal mop handle. He laid it on the floor and slid it using his foot into the puddle carefully. Seeing no reaction, he picked up the far end of the mop handle, keeping the other end in the puddle. He then tossed his end at the handle. When it touched the door handle, sparks flew from the handle.

The door opened to show Ryuu standing there; he had a thick rubber glove on one hand. "Very good, Boss. Full points," the assassin said. "And twenty seconds to spare. You picked up on the electric field from the handle and felt the hum through the door."

"I didn't recognize that it was an electric field at first," Sanu answered. "Just that something was wrong as the key neared the door lock. I did pick up on the electric hum though. Why didn't you use a battery?" he asked curiously.

"It's harder to get the lethal power out of a battery, although not impossible," Ranma answered for him. "An assassin doesn't want to be seen carrying the battery or the electronics necessary to build up the critical power level. Electronics that you plug in are much smaller and easier to hide. Plus the idea is use what you find on-site and try to make it look like an accident if at all possible." (1)

Ryuu grinned at Ranma and clapped his hands silently. "Full points for you too. Did you figure out the trap before Sanu?" Ryuu asked.

Ranma shook his head and said: "I knew it was about. I felt something out-of-sorts exactly at 3PM. If I hadn't known about the Game, I would have investigated further, but I didn't want to get in the way. I couldn't see any evidence of the trap though. I would have had to actually examine the door to find it." The judge and his assistant just nodded their heads and Ryuu beckoned them both inside. The assistant then went about cleaning up the trap as Ranma and Sanu sat down at the desk.

"Well," the judge started. "We need to go through the applications quickly, and then I'll call the applicants you selected for interviews this evening and tomorrow morning. We'll wrap this up tomorrow afternoon and you can get on with your life again."

"No offense," Ranma said. "But I didn't think the court system moved that fast."

"For a standard adoption, it wouldn't," Sanu answered. "But this is a clan adoption. You'll be nineteen in a few months. You don't need a traditional set of parents – just a safe base of operations. Or rather a fall-back base." The judge grinned then. "I don't imagine you'll be leaving the Tendo dojo," he said slyly.

Ranma felt his face starting to blush and fought it down. "No, I won't be leaving. Mr. Tendo – I mean Soun – and I have reached an agreement regarding my courtship of Akane."

"Thought that might happen," Sanu said with satisfaction. "I happen to know a judge who would be willing to perform the ceremony as soon as the two of you turn twenty," he added busting the young man's chops.

"Great…You're just as bad as the rest of this town…" Ranma said sourly.

The judge just laughed and then opened a drawer. "Speaking of which…" Sanu said as he plopped a thick stack of papers on the desk in front of Ranma.

"What the heck is this?" the shape-changer exclaimed (changing the 'hell' to 'heck' since he was talking to a judge).

"It appears to be the rest of the town," the judge said smartly. Ranma saw that all these forms were applications for adoption – specifically for him. "You should pick out six I think. That's all I have time to interview and that should be enough."

Ranma stared at the large pile in shock until Sanu tapped him on the hand and then tapped the pile. Slowly, Ranma began shuffling through the pile – there were about two hundred applications there. Most of them were from married couples, although he did find Tofu's and Hinako's as well. He put those two on the side for consideration. He stopped for a second when he found Toshio's. "The Kuno family wants to adopt me? Are they out of their minds?" he asked.

"One could argue 'Yes' for most of them. Toshio Kuno is extremely sane however," Sanu answered him, keeping his tone carefully neutral. This was Ranma's life. He wanted to let the young man choose for himself (then Sanu would shred the paperwork). Ranma read the full application in bewilderment and then tossed it on the discard pile (much to Sanu's relief).

Ranma stopped when he came to Hiroshi's family and read the full application. He placed it with Tofu's and Hinako's. He paused over Sayuri's family and then discarded it. He also paused at Daisuke's family's application and read it. He then moved it to create a new pile. When he came across the application for Yuka's family, he held it for the longest time and then placed it with Daisuke's family. Sergeant Imia's application showed up after a few more paper shuffles and Ranma didn't even pause – he tossed it with Tofu's pile. He didn't pause when he found Mr. Kounji's application either – he discarded it. Inspector Ojima's application joined Yuka's and Daisuke's families'.

Suddenly Ranma broke out laughing – he was one of the few people in town who knew the Dojo Destroyer's real name. "Oh my god," Ranma said between laughs. "There would be nothing left of this town, but I am honored," he said as he tossed it on the discard pile.

"Actually, you should be," Ryuu told him while closing the door now that the trap was cleaned up. "You are well known in this town. That includes your good and bad points. These people know all about you and are willing for you to join their clan. Indeed, many of them want you to join their families. It's something you should feel very honored about regarding each and every family/person." Ranma stopped laughing and looked at the piles in front of him for a moment. Then he nodded and continued a little more soberly.

He couldn't stop the smirk from returning when he ran across the fishmonger's application though. "What's that one?" Sanu asked.

"It's from Mr. Sakai. He has been an adversary of my cat-side for a long time. In the application, he says he wants to collect for 'unfinished business transactions'," Ranma said dryly as he tossed the application in the pile with Yuka's and Daisuke's families.

"I'm not sure you should consider anyone just because you owe them money," Sanu cautioned.

Ranma chuckled. "You have to understand Mr. Sakai," he explained. "There are no unfinished transactions. He never tells me if my cat-side has ever stolen fish from him. I have to find out from his neighbors and force him to accept the money by either sneaking it into his till box or volunteering to help out from time-to-time. I've managed to learn the delivery schedule of his suppliers and to just 'show up' sometimes when they are around. He has two kids, a twin boy and girl, in the class behind me. The daughter use to have a crush on me until she spent half-a-day chasing my cat-side around trying to retrieve a fish. She got better after that and now I'm just friends with her and her brother." The two other men laughed and Ranma moved on.

Toward the bottom of the pile, Ranma came across Hideo's and Shizuka's application and sighed. He considered it for a while and placed it in the 'maybe' pile. Then he sorted through the rest, and did a quick review of the discard pile. When he was done, he had four 'definites' (Tofu, Hinako, Hiroshi, and Imia) and five 'maybes' (Daisuke, Yuka, Ojima, Sakai, and Jouda).

"So who is who?" Sanu asked.

"These are the people who are 'definites'," Ranma said putting a hand on the appropriate pile. "They know exactly what they are getting if I join their clan and are likely to cope the best. The other set is good, but I'm not really sure." Ranma pushed an application out of the other pile. "Daisuke's dad thinks I'm responsible for his son's behavior instead of looking in the mirror." Ranma pushed out another one. "Ojima is an inspector with a lot on his plate already." He pushed out one more. "The Sakai family is really nice, but I'm not sure how they would handle some of the situations I run into." He took applications from Yuka's family and the Jouda family and added them to the other four.

"Why did you hesitate on the last two?" Sanu asked.

"Yuka's dad is often not home – I'm afraid I'll end up the man-of-the-house, which would tie me down to two locations. On the other hand, she and her mom are a lot like Kasumi in that they are very understanding and can read emotions well, so that's a big plus – I don't have to keep explaining myself," Ranma answered. "Shizuka and Hideo are two of my teachers and they are great, but…" Ranma trailed off.

"But…" Sanu pushed.

"I think Shizuka needs a real child, not me. And I could honestly see issues between Mom and Shizuka. I'm afraid the Jouda family is a last resort," Ranma admitted feeling miserable about it.

"I think I understand that one," Sanu told him. "So, out of the other four, who is the best choice?"

"That's easy," Ranma said pushing Tofu's out of the stack.

"A busy doctor?" Sanu questioned.

"He already makes a fair amount of time for me – pretty much when I need it," Ranma shrugged. "He's already one of my teachers and a great friend. He also lets me help him when the situation arises. Neither of our lives has to change very much." Ranma gave a short laugh and said: "Besides, you'll want someone who can put me in my place occasionally – he's it. I get away with nothing around him."

"How do you feel about the ties that already exist between the Tendo family and Doctor Tofu?" Sanu asked.

Ranma shook his head. "It's not going to be an issue. He loves Kasumi very much, but he is always himself. He doesn't get involved between Akane and me unless I'm being a real jerk. Then he's just likely to tell me to grow up in so many words – once I calm down. If I try and have him back me up, he just says that it's up to me and Akane to work out. He won't back her up either. For that matter, Kasumi does the same thing to Akane and me as well."

Sanu nodded and asked "Who's second?"

Ranma looked at the three other applications. "I'm not sure. Now we come down to pluses and minuses. Miss Hinako has been my school teacher throughout high school. She's awful tough on me, but she does care a lot and my life wouldn't change much if she was my guardian. She can often be immature, but she's tough enough to handle the chaos that seems to follow me.

"Hiroshi's family knows me very well and we are comfortable with each other. The real problem is that none of them are martial artists, but if I stay at the dojo, that would probably not be an issue. And they have watched some of my adventures, so they know exactly what they are getting into. Imia's family is the reverse – while he and I know each other, the rest of his family doesn't know me as well. But he is a martial artist. He's also a cop and he knows how to handle trouble."

Ranma was silent for a few minutes and seemed to waver as he looked at the three applications. Finally, he said: "Hiroshi's family, Imia, and Miss Hinako. But it's close."

"Good enough," Sanu told him. "All right. Let me talk to them all, but please don't say anything yourself. Trust me on this – don't tell another soul what happened in this room. Not even your girlfriend or your mother. If they press you, say you had to pick out twenty people and I have final say on who I call. Don't let it be known that I forced you to rank them; it will only lead to hurt feelings. I've been dealing with situations like this a lot over the years - it's easier if I take the fall. That's a direct order. All right?"

Ranma just blew out his breath and nodded.

After Ranma left, Ryuu turned to Sanu and said: "That's not a coincidence."

"No, it's not," Sanu agreed. "She called it in exactly the right order, never mind that she got exactly the right people."

"Want to bet that she was right about Ranma taking the Tendo name eventually?" Ryuu asked.

"No, it is a sucker bet. That's why Soun Tendo's eyes lit up when I asked him if he would accept Ranma even if he wasn't Genma's son. Soun wants someone to carry on the Tendo name," the judge said.

"So, what are you going to do now?" Ryuu pressed.

Sanu shrugged. "Nothing."

"Nothing?" Ryuu asked surprised.

"Nothing," Sanu repeated. "I have Ranma's input – that's what I really needed. I see no reason to call the individual families. If no one gets called, no one will know who Ranma picked and he'll take the secret to his grave now. I can announce my decision to Ranma tomorrow. Over all, I think everything will work out fine."

"So what do we do?" Ryuu asked.

Sanu stood up and came around his desk. "We are skipping the Game tonight and making dinner reservations downtown," he said. "We are going to find a reputable establishment to eat and drink in and watch the pretty ladies as they walk up and down the street, shopping in the different stores. If we have our usual luck and fail to attract the attention of some nice ladies, we will find a comfortable sports bar and enjoy the games there."

Ryuu looked surprised. "But Boss…" he started – just before Sanu reached out and grabbed him by the scruff of the neck on the way to the door.

"And you will be nowhere near that testing lab tonight when all hell breaks loose," Sanu finished while dragging his assistant out of the office.

Ranma sat up on the roof thinking about the decision he had to make today and wondering what the judge would do with his answers. Despite the fact she made no noise, he felt Akane land a little ways down from him and walk quietly towards him. "Are you all right, Ranma?" she asked softly.

He held out his arms to her and she sat down to nestle in his embrace. "It was a tough day, Akane," he answered her. "I've never had to evaluate people like that before."

She thought about asking him who he chose, then decided not to – she couldn't say if she didn't know. It was enough that he chose her. "Do you think it will work out?" she asked instead.

She watched as her boyfriend smiled gently and said "Yeah, I think it will be fine. And what about you?"

"Huh?" she said.

"Will you be all right married to a ronin?" he asked in a teasing fashion.

She dope-slapped him then, although it was a bit on the light-side. She immediately settled into his arms more firmly, tucking her head under his chin. "You're an idiot, Ranma of Nerima," she said with a slight sharpness to her voice. Her voice turned softer as she added: "You will never be a ronin – you will always belong to me…."

A/N: Footnotes:
(1) I had a long detailed footnote here for AC versus DC electrocution and decided I was being silly. In general, given the exact same circumstances, 60Hz AC current is about 5x more effective at killing someone than a comparable DC current for a given path through the body. Send me a PM if you really want the in's and out's of it.

A/N: Next up: At the Lab