Can't sleep... can't sleep... oh, shit, there goes my stomach!
Jae frantically bolted upright in bed quickly glancing over at a large clock across her room to see that it was one in the morning before jumping out of bed and dashing down the hall to the washroom and vomiting loudly into an empty pail for five minutes.
"Here."
Jae startled at the sound of a voice behind her and turned to see Col. Tavington holding out a handkerchief.
"Thank you.. sorry if I woke you."
Col. Tavington shook his head.
"No, I couldn't sleep."
Jae cocked an eyebrow.
"Is Brielle keeping you up?"
"No," replied the colonel with a small laugh, "she was fed thirty minutes ago. It's just my thoughts and perhaps a hangover case of insomnia from being in the military so long."
Jae smiled as she finished wiping her mouth and asked, "Might I ask what's been on your mind then?"
"Just a former family neighbor who will be visiting here in Ohio in a few days and staying at my brother's house; I'm not very keen on it either, I must say; but that's an issue to be discussed at a later time. And you? What is on your mind?"
Jae shook her head and smiled wryly.
"Just... everything, I guess.. I know I should have looked more closely at the history book because then I would have found out about O'Hara without your aid."
"Jae, it's all right. No one faults you for not looking more closely. Is there anything that I might be able to answer for you?" Col. Tavington asked.
"Perhaps." Jae replied. "I mean, I don't really know how to explain what I'm trying ask you but... nevermind." she finished with a disappointed sigh. "I can't find the words for what I want to say."
"Do you want to know more about what happened with the general after you two left?" Col. Tavington asked in a slightly slow voice, tinged with caution.
"Yes, I guess that is what I'm trying to ask.."
"Alright, but first, wash your mouth out and then we'll go back to your room." said the colonel, standing up and holding out his hand.
Jae smiled gratefully.
"Thank you."
Walking soundlessly back to her room, Col. Tavington sat down on the side of Jae's bed, gently pulling Jae down to sit next to him, letting out a soft sigh.
"I didn't see O'Hara very much after you two left. Of course I saw him, but I avoided him as much as I could. Unfortunately for me, he did manage to pull me aside once to talk to me."
"What did he say?"
"He talked about you; about how he didn't expect to have feelings for you and that he felt worse than hell for what he made you go through. I responded civilly, but by then, I really didn't care to hear how sorry he was. Still, I allowed him to continue on, though he didn't have much to say after that other than that he was wondering if you and your sister would ever return again. I told him that I didn't believe so and that even if you did return, I doubted that you would ever want to see him again. Obviously, he understood."
"Obviously." Jae repeated softly.
Col. Tavington took her hand and squeezed it softly.
"Wait here, I have something for you."
"What is it?" Jae asked.
The colonel smirked and replied, "Just wait here and I'll get it for you."
Jae scowled but complied as Col. Tavington left the room, returning about a minute later and pressed into her hand a small, yet neatly folded note.
"What is this?" she asked, a quizzical look painting her features.
"O'Hara gave it to me. He was going to give it to you before you left, but apparently didn't get the chance."
"Oh. You read it then?"
Col. Tavington's face turned slightly red in embarrassment.
"Yes but I'm the only one who has."
Jae cocked an eyebrow.
"Even Mary hasn't read it?"
"No, she hasn't."
"Well, that must have been hard for you, not showing her." said Jae in mock jest.
Col. Tavington couldn't help but laugh at her remark.
"It wasn't as difficult as I thought it would be, actually. I still have a secretive side."
Jae smirked.
"I'm sure you do."
The colonel smiled and then asked, "Are you going to read the note or not?"
Jae rolled her eyes and smiled, unfolding the note as Col. Tavington held a candle overhead for lighting. The note read as follows:
Jae,
I understand from how things seem to be going, that you're planning on leaving the estate and returning back home in the future. You will be missed here. Of course, perhaps it's better that you go as I don't see how things could fare well any other way thanks to myself. I truly do feel horrible for what I put you through and I understand that nothing I say can do any form of justice to it. But if you haven't already discarded this note out of disgust, I want to let you know that I love you. As useless as it is, I do. Obviously, I didn't ever believe that I would end up feeling this way about you. But watching you interact with the Tavingtons and your sister and knowing all of the risks that you took for them to ensure their safety and well-being, I now wonder who could not love you. Jae, I know that we had anything but a healthy relationship but I want you to know that in all sincerity, I hope and pray for only the best for you in your future and that should you find another, he will treat you with the utmost respect.
Sincerely,
Brig. Gen. Charles O'Hara
Jae stared hard at the note, quiet and thinking as her eyes repeatedly scanned its contents.
"I was a bit amazed when I read it..." Col. Tavington's voice cut through her thoughts.
"I'm sorry?" Jae asked, still looking a bit blank.
The colonel smiled and shook his head.
"Caught in your thoughts again.."
Jae smiled sheepishly.
"No bother." Col. Tavington said with a grin as he placed a hand on Jae's shoulder. "But as I was saying, I was a bit amazed when I read the note. Of course, my view of O'Hara is skewed horribly, but I was surprised to find that after all he put you through, he ended up feeling so much for you. I read the note a great number of times after having received it from the general in an attempt to unmask any notes of insincerity within it but found none."
Jae nodded, inwardly relieved that she wasn't the only person who had seen the general's sincere actions towards the end of her and her sister's last stay.
"Yes... he was good to me after everything happened. In fact, it was the general himself who ended the 'deal', not I."
"Really, is that so?" Col. Tavington asked, slightly amused.
"Tis so.." replied Jae with a slight laugh. "Though I know full well that it does not excuse any of his behavior."
"No, no it doesn't." the colonel agreed.
"Yet it was nice to finally see a human side of him after what occurred between us."
"Indeed, even I will admit that, however grudgingly."
Jae snorted and punched Col. Tavington playfully on the arm to which he responded by grabbing her wrist and pinning her down on the bed.
"I believe, dear one, it is well past the ungodly hours for you. You need your rest."
Letting Jae up, Col. Tavington pulled back the bedcovers for her to slip into.
"Thank you." Jae said gratefully, slipping under the covers and snuggling in.
"You're welcome." replied the colonel. "Now, I'm leaving hopefully, in a couple of hours with Brant and Aidan and will be gone until this evening. Of course, Mary will be here and don't be surprised if one of my brothers comes by."
"Are your brothers anything like yourself?" Jae asked curiously.
Col. Tavington laughed and replied, "Are you deliberately delaying your sleep?"
"No..." Jae said sarcastically with an impish smirk.
"Well I'm not telling you. Tis something you'll have to figure out on your own." finished the colonel in a mock-stern voice, kissing her forehead. "In the meantime, do get some sleep. I love you."