~ Black Sick Spider ~

- Chapter 2: If I Start Screaming, Then I Shall Never Stop -

They sleep in separate bedrooms, but he often wakes to the sound of her weeping. On those nights, he goes to her and she clings to him, burying her face against his chest, until she cries herself to sleep in his arms. Sometimes she remains quiet through the night; he does not know whether to be relieved or more worried at those times.

Tonight, she comes to him in his room, crawling into bed with him and laying her head on his shoulder in a silent plea to be cuddled.

"Nightmare again, love?" he asks softly, as he turns on his side and drapes one arm over her waist.

"I haven't slept yet," she whispers back.

He presses a light kiss to her forehead.

"Perhaps you would sleep better if you and I shared a bed the entire night?"

She pulls away from him slightly at the suggestion, and he lets her go.

"I would do nothing more than hold you," he tells her. "You know I would never force myself on you."

Yes, she knows. He promised her the same thing the night he rescued her from her brother, and the same again on their wedding night. It has been nearly two months since the wedding, and their marriage still has not been consummated - and does not look to be so any time in the near future. For as much as Walburga believes that she could willingly be with her husband in that way someday, she is not ready.

He waits; she knows that whichever decision she makes, he will accept it with no qualms. She has no way of telling which choice would be better for her sanity (which, she can tell, is slowly slipping away). Not knowing what is best for herself, she decides instead to pick the option she thinks will make Orion happy.

"Yes," she says. "Let's try that." Walburga snuggles close to her husband and once she is safe in Orion's arms again, she is at ease enough to reveal her fears. "I keep waiting for the pain to end," she whispers, "but it never does."

"They say that time heals all," he replies. "And the worse the wound, the more time is needed before it will stop hurting."

"I want it to end now," she complains, pressing closer to him. "I can't stand this feeling anymore. Sometimes I feel as though I just want to scream."

"Perhaps you should," he says. "You may feel better once you get it all out."

"But if I start screaming, then I shall never stop."

~to be continued~