Everything Wrong with my previous tale.
In a whole lot of Minutes.
Spoilers (why do I keep writing this)
Sin 1.
Story begins with an unmistakeable Lawrence of Arabia reference.
General. How can I fight a bloody war without bloody artilleries.
Sin 2
Soldier. Tell my wife I love her.
Tell my wife I love her cliche.
Sin 3
Commandant. Nature help us all.
Nature help us all cliche. (God help us all)
Sin 4
Lord Milori. I'm not leaving you.
I'm not leaving you cliche.
Sin 5
Countess. Life is an illusion and only death shall liberate us from its dream. Maybe our deaths, shall result in something prosperous.
I don't wanna sound sexist here, but girls don't do Philosophy, voluntarily anyway.
Sin 6
Soldier. They're at hangar six.
Why do you need to put Snowy Owls in hangars but more importantly why have a flight deck at all? Why don't you just use the branches? That shouldn't be hard.
Sin 7
Sun Tzu reference.
Sin 8
Dewey is way more open-minded than Lord Milori but Dewey insists on Lord Milori bucking up the countess because the plot requires him to.
Sin 9
Lord Milori. No not a lot. But sometimes I wish I could ride them all the time.
Lord Milori. Makes a comment in his future. Not funny, at all.
Sin 10
Yes, ladies and gentlemen faith, trust and Pixie dust can solve everything, except for this god awful story.
Sin 11
The Bat scene chase would have been interesting if it had some description. I feel like I'm flying blind in this chaotic Fic.
Sin 12
Lord Milori. It looks like your, how do you say it, comrade has fled.
This is a bad anti Communist quote.
Sin 13
According to the story the Countess is Clarion but we never get a decent confirmation or a disclaimer, instead we are left with a wingless Queen.
Sin 14
That's how you're gonna end this. Well, damnation seize my soul.