Chapter ELEVEN: And so it begins…the news gets around
16/7-22/7
(Ring)
"Hello"
"Ah Granger prompt as ever I see. Wouldn't even let the phone ring twice"
"Is there a reason as to why you're gracing me with your never needing presence this early in the morning Malfoy?"
"Well, someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed…Listen; I need you to drop by the building so we can run by a private interview. We should've done it before, but hey shit happens…"
"Seems to be happening a lot to me lately…I have to work today you know Malfoy, it is Monday…"
"Really I thought it was Sunday! Had a bit of fun this morning…"
"Ugh that's disgusting, I bet it was your maid Benny…"
"Oh har har, just be there at 8:00 okay?"
"Oh fine. Bye…"
"See you Granger…"
To: Gin
From: Hermione
Re: hey...
Would you mind telling Carl that I won't be in until lunchtime? I've got to meet up with the devil himself and have some private interview…I'd do It myself but you know how bad Carl is with his technology, I don't think he'd know how to open up an email, and it's too early to call…
Thanks Gin, I owe you one…
Hermione
To: Hermione
From: Gin
Re: Ha!
I wonder just what the "private session" will contain… (Hopefully it's not going to be recorded) ha!
Oh I'm joking Hermione, I can see your face turning pinkish already…
Yeah no worries, but I don't think he'll be too happy, Damian the coffee dude isn't going to be in today, so who knows how Carl will be without his coffee…like an ape on heat…saw that in the discovery channel once, terrifying Hermione, just terrifying…
Gin
Private Deposition
In case of Jeremy Jonks
Vs
Hermione Granger
Held at the offices of Malfoy Grey and Felnof
100 Georgeston Avenue, Suite 12
London, England
Appearances:
Draco Malfoy (DM)
Hermione Granger (HG)
Recorded by Draco Malfoy (DM) for future evidence
DM: Okay we'll just cut to the chase. What happened during the events in which Jeremy Jonks, official name, Jeremiah Jonkson, feels the need to prosecute you…? HG: Now who's prompt? Wakes me up at 6:00 in the morning to say there's some meeting going on, then when I show up shoves me through the door and gets straight into it. And you said I woke up on the wrong side of the bed… DM: What? Done…Oh, I thought you were still going…
HG: Shut up Malfoy…
DM: Oh come on now Granger, no need for a last name basis…
HG: But you just…
DM: Never mind what I did, it's what you did before to trigger it off…
HG: Oh please, you sardonic…
DM: Nice Granger, now look what you've started. Just wasted 5 mins of tape because you're acting like a spoilt brat.
HG: Good Merlin…how much longer do I have of this…?
DM: Just answer the question…doesn't give me that look.
(Incoherent mumbles from female voice about conceited men)
HG: Well Jonks, as I have stated before…is an idiot. He's a womaniser, an aggressive man and an all round schmuck. You two bare a similar resemblance…
DM: Please, no time for pleasantries…so what made him corrupt you into hitting him…?
HG: for records sake, I'll admit I had no intention of hurting him severely. I mean I knew I would hurt him, but you know I had to get my point across. You see he was aggressive, the way he just barged through the doors and came up to Aneen; I swear he was about to shake her senseless, or worse. He's a very um, competitive man and over protective in some ways, despite the fact he and Aneen broke up. Controlling, that's the word. I didn't mean to hit him, just trying to protect the girls and myself.
DM: So you would say you were the more dominating force in the group? How very Gryffindor-like of you.
HG: Honestly the man is…you see many women protecting themselves against men who don't sue the girls; I just don't understand what his problem is…
DM: Maybe he recognised you in some…ahem…pictures while he was in Azkaban. I know they allow stories in for them to read…
HG: Malfoy! Why are you mentioning that! I thought this was…
DM: add a bit of life in your life. I can always alter this conversation and change what were saying…
HG: What are you smirking about! Oh, I get it. That's how you're always winning the cases aren't you Draco! Changing them to suit you, how very Slytherin-like of you.
DM: Touché Granger, but sometimes you just know when a guy is innocent and you'll do anything to prove it.
HG: oh so you use… (Magic)
DM: what MAGIC…?
HG: would you shut up! What if you can't change this!
DM: Well then I guess the whole wizarding world is in strife! You're fights not with me Granger, it's with Jonks…
HG: Well I'm having a hard time at the moment differentiating between who's the bad and good one out of you!
DM: Don't compare me with him Granger!
(Sound of chair moving back and someone arising)
HG: You're fights not with me Malfoy, it's with Xavier…
Sound of chair slamming)
(Female gasp)
DM: Dammit Granger! You could at least be a little courteous! I was the one who "saved" you from bloody Dretski…
HG: Oh so that's how it is! You "saved" me from the brute and now I'm in debt to you! Think I couldn't handle it myself…
Sound of chair moving backward and another arising)
DM: Sit down Granger…
HG: No! I didn't need you to protect me from him, especially if you didn't mean it…
DM: I'm beginning to regret spending that much on someone who doesn't appreciate it!
HG: Merlin you're an idiot! I do care! But if you…
DM: Then why are you getting mad at me for! Is it that time of the month?
HG: Why did you do it? We hated each other throughout out Hogwarts…
DM: Merlin you frustrate me! Hogwarts was year's back and I haven't changed. I've only learnt to respect people a little more…
HG: So why do it? Is there more? Are you scheming something? I know you don't actually care for a mudblood…
(Sounds of heavy footsteps approaching (Hermione))
DM: I don't care do I?
(INSERT IMAGINATION HERE)
DM: I do Granger…
Sound door slamming…)
(Long pause)
HG: Oh dear. I think I have to sit down now…ouch…
(Sound of tape stopping)
To: Tim
From: Gin
Re: Hermione
Okay Tim, here's the deal:
On Saturday we went out on a party right, right!
- Course its right I was bloody there- anyways; Hermione and Draco… well sparks flew. Not literally of course that would be silly right, no such thing as magic, AHEM…
Sorry I'm really giddy…
You see this morning Hermione went to finalise the papers for her court case in two months, so they're there…together… BUT alone….
Ohhh! Aren't you excited! I hoped she's got contraceptives!
Anyways, I'm asking you to tell me anything you know and vice versa!
Can you do that for me Tim! Of course you can!
Now to more serious issues relating to the topic: DO NOT do anything stupid like those heterosexual winks…yes everyone can tell when its not a "gay" wink Tim…there's just no sparkle…so none of that…
If she confronts you about it, well WHAT will she confront you about!
(Ha, you see the cunning; you see it…brilliant I am)
And most importantly: IF you tell SHARMANYE I'm seriously going to hex you!
That's a no no.
Gin
To: Gin
From: Tim
Re: Hermione
Man Ginny, you really need sex.
Oooh, how exciting! I feel like a gay version of James Bond, only more of a Brendan Fraser stunner! (Don't get me wrong; Sean Connery is a darl, but well generation wise…)
From the sound of your typing, it's as if you were there, you're so giddy! I can see your head bopping over the cubicle!
I'd stop that if I were you, one of my friends peed their pants by performing that act of anxiety… of course they were at a Kylie concert…
Thanks for telling me Gin; you know I crave a gossip!
Tim…
P.S. since I'm the computer stud, I could hack into any emails she sends…! Ha, who needs 007 when you have a binary system! 012010 here we go…!
To: Hermione Granger
Fr:Human Resources
Re: Dilatory
Dear Hermione Granger,
This is a notice from the Human Resource division of the London Post. We are hereby informing you that according to your supervisor Carl Bronston, you arrived 115 minutes late to work today, resulting in your 2nd tardy exceeding sixty minutes this year, Miss Granger.
We at the London Post do not believe that your tardiness is acceptable and are therefore suggesting you take place in a Staff Assistance program. We understand that your late routine could be a cause of the following:
Drug addiction/overdose
Mental and physical health disorders
Alcohol addiction
Sleep affliction
Libellous brutal consort.
We here at the Human Resources department are only trying to help you Hermione Granger. If your tardiness is of your own lack or organization, we suggest you change your attitude.
Any future tardiness may result in abeyance or suspension.
Sincerely,
Vanessa McGaughn
Human Resource Division
London Post.
To: Ginny
From: Hermione
Re: GINNY!
Why didn't you tell Carl or at least Vanessa that I wasn't going to be in! Now I've got like 52 tardy notes in my file!
Ah, it's my fault anyway, I should've told someone more responsible…maybe Sharmayne. At least she'll do anything for a flirt, even with the boss…
Hermione
To: Hermione
From: Gin
Re: Of course…
…It's your fault!
Sorry lovely but right after you rang me; I had to go to the bathroom and spew. I thought my whole digestive system would come out in one push. No more seafood for me for about 4 days. I had that yesterday and it's making me feel crap.
Sorry again,
Love Ginny
P.S. How did it go?
To: Human Resources
Fr: Herm Granger
Re: My Dilatory
You forgot to mention uptight lawyers
Oh come on Vanessa! I know its no excuse but I asked Ginny to tell you and she forgot! I couldn't call in at 7:00 because no one was there and by that time I was gone.
Ask my lawyer if you have to, I was having a meeting with him because of this bloody court case!
Be a champ! Take it off!
Hermione
To: Ginny
From: Hermione
Re: would you…
…Stop bloody looking over the cubicle and giving me that "okay sister, I know what you did, well not really…so I'm going to suck up to you to know what you did" look, because I'm not going to give you anything…
OMG, did Tim just wink at me! What did you tell him!
Hermione
To: Hermione
From: Gin
Re: what look?
Can't a friend just be happy to see the other friend who is looking just a little too peachy for her usually pale complexion?
How silly of you! Hermione darling, you ACTUALLY thought I would care for the details of your meeting with Draco? Sweetie, honestly I don't care! It's your business I understand…though hopefully it explains why your hair clip isn't supporting your hair.
Maybe a Polar bear, here in England, mauled you!
I'll be here though if you need me…
Love Gin
XOXOX
To: Ted Simpton
Fr: Hermione
Re: Spill it
Okay what the hell did she say to you Tim?
To: Hermione
From: Tim
Re: What?
What ever are you on about? Who was supposed to tell me something that would result you in threatening me?
Are you a little drunk from the party you went to on Saturday? Remember the one you ditched us on for Gin?
Timmy
AudiciousGossipMonger: Oh shut up Tim don't change the subject!
GayManWalking: well well, whom do we have here?
AudiciousGossipMonger: shut it! I know she told you something, I could see the looks on your bloody faces…
GayManWalking: Hermione darling… (Oh my good gay gluts! that sounded like Sharmayne) you know I don't care much for gossiping, unless it contains a little man action…
AudiciousGossipMonger: oh? So a six-foot white wouldn't tingle your curiosity?
GayManWalking: six-foot? My Tinkers! The legend has come true! Lead me to the almighty!
AudiciousGossipMonger: I wasn't talking about lower extremities Tim!
GayManWalking: oh well then, one can only hope…
AudiciousGossipMonger: so what was it about?
GayManWalking: you tell me, feisty Frieda
AudiciousGossipMonger: ha! Tricky…not funny! Who in the muggle world is Feisty Frieda? I don't look like a Frieda do I?
GayManWalking: Muggle? Where in my gay world have you been?
AudiciousGossipMonger: never mind, I'm sure you've been there many times before…
Human Resources: Both of you will go there if you don't turn this off and get to work!
AudiciousGossipMonger: Now that I've got you, what do you say about taking off the tardy?
Human Resources: Ms Granger, it is not Ms Weasleys fault that you weren't responsible enough to contact the office about being late. Now make up for it by getting off this IM process and do some decent work for once in a while…
AudiciousGossipMonger: Logged Off
GayManWalking: Logged Off
Human Resources: Logged off
AudiciousGossipMonger: Logged on
GayManWalking: Logged on
GayManWalking: well honestly she needs to visit that world she could use a personality
AudiciousGossipMonger: I reckon eh! Things must be dreadful on the love front…
GayManWalking: yeah, she's not getting any!
AudiciousGossipMonger: plausible
GayManWalking: so what happened today? You were about to tell me before she cut…
AudiciousGossipMonger: Logged off
GayManWalking: …me off
GayManWalking: Honestly women! And the wonder why men turn gay!
GayManWalking: Logged off
To: Hermione
From: Mum and Dad
Re: Hey Mione
Sweetie where have you been? We haven't heard from you for a while!
Well were back from our conference, I told you your father would be "shocked" to see me there!
You see I thought I'd play a trick on him: he'd go there unawares I would take the next flight in! So when I arrived at the hotel we were to be staying at, well let's just say your father, bless him, was about to have a coronary!
Though the more I think about it, shame he didn't!
Just kidding darling!
Anyway, I just wrote in to check up on you and deliver the news that your cousin Melissa is getting married! And he's some oil heir! Wonderful isn't it: which brings me to my next point, when are you going to find a lovely chap and settle down! I would just love a few grandchildren before I die, and well Hermione, that's going to come sooner than you think.
But, that may be coming quicker for you than you think!
Okay honey, I'll call you soon!
Love Mummy…
…And dad too, if he wasn't snoozing on the couch drooling like the animal he is!
P.S. Come and visit us sometime! Since we moved out of London, we've barely seen you! Cousin Melissa would just love to see you to see her and her new fiancé! (Did we tell you they live around the corner from us?) – Guess I just did.
XOXOX
To: Mum and Dad
From: Hermione
Re: Hey!
Hey mum and dad!
Nice to know you're doing well, I might come and visit in a few weeks: but I'll be sure to stay well clear of Melissa, I just know she wants to rub it in my face! She gets a billionaire and I'll probably end up marrying Paul the Garbo…
(Not that there's anything wrong with picking up rubbish, I'm just showing the vast differences between the two occupations…)
Mum, what did you mean by a baby will become soon for me? Please don't tell me you're going to set me up with one of your knitting clubs desperate sons, who'll get me knocked up, then run off this some big breasted blonde!
Anyway, I'm at work at the moment, and Carls eyeing me like a starving Hawk so I'd better go!
Love Hermione…
P.S. I'm sure in the animal world that would be a sign of superiority…
To: Hermione
From: Dad
Re: Your mother…
…Will be the end of me! She hasn't stopped squealing since she read those bloody articles in you're wizard Daily Prophet…we have over ten bunched up outside our door because we were at the conference…
She's starting to make a scrapbook of all of them, but it's a bit hard to do since those bloody pictures don't like being glued onto paper!
Hermione, I don't know what's going on, but you're smart, so I'll appreciate it if you can get your mother out of my hair for at least 3 days, without severely harming her. I know it'll be tough, but hey you can't fight temptation…
In other matters, congratulations for being "bought" on Saturday. Draco Malfoy eh, seems good and rich enough for my girl: unfortunately for you, your mother told Melissa he's richer than her "Brandon" and handsomer...
Women…
What happened to the personality quality?
Anyway, just thought I'd give you the low down…so try not to stay in too much contact with your mother…I don't want you to suffer the peril I am!
Love Dad
P.S. I finally figured out how to use this computer, took me all of this afternoon but it's done! I couldn't go down to the bowls club, your mother told all the guys wives and now they're taking over the whole area talking about weddings and babies…
To: Ginny
From: Hermione
Re: I don't…
Know what's worse…when a mother is bribing her daughter to have a kid before she dies and sounds like Sharmayne, or the fact that the daughter wishes she could die at the moment! Then there's the cousin who's marrying a rich oil heir and the aunty who's telling her, her daughter is about to hitch an even rich man…
Don't you wish you were a muggle?
Hermione
To: Hermione
From: Ginny
Re: oh I don't know…
I think perhaps sushi with a worm in it, which is half in my gut, would totally top the terrible list, at least it think it's a worm…
Gin
To: Ginny
From: Hermione
Re: That's…
Disgusting, I bet you ate around it though…
P.S. come over tonight, I'll tell you what happened. I'm not saying anything here; too many ears are listening, no thanks to you
P.P.S. I thought you weren't going to eat seafood anymore? Four days I think you said, not four hours!
To: Hermione
From: Gin
Re: Ha!
You know me too well!
Gin
P.S. No worries, always there to lend a ear or ten
P.P.S. Ah, I felt better! I think the worm made it slightly meaty, therefore not as seafood-ish :P
To: Draco
From: Josh
Re: Well…
I don't know what the hell happened, but I believe that being your closest and only friend, I deserve to know why you stormed out of work yesterday morning!
I remember Hermione coming in, but that's about it. I accidentally heard a bit of yelling, then quiet…then the door slam and then again as you left the building.
So by my calculation, I am willing to interpret that the events occurring…ah…in the duration of the awkward silence, is what triggered your flared temper.
Sorry I was just trying to sound like my old therapist, "So how does it make you feel" God she was annoying…
Josh
To: Josh
From: Draco
Re: …
I accidentally heard a bit of yelling
Accidentally my ass. That's why your ear was pressed up against the door.
Look I don't know what happened. At first it was just normal, we were annoying each other and it was fine. Then somehow the topic of Saturday was brought up and well at that time we were at each other's throats.
I'm just mad…
Draco
To: Draco
From: Josh
Re: Oh I see…
…So one minute you're at each other throats, the next down each other's throats.
I see. But I believe you missed out that detail.
So what are you going to do about it? I could give you my therapist's number, but in all honestly she'd make you more insane than you already are: I am living proof.
Josh
To: Gin
From: Mary
Re: Okay…
Hey how you doing.
I know you're going breach a code of friendship conduct, so I'm hoping you'll do it in fashion.
Draco stormed out of the office yesterday right after the meeting.
So what happened? Please Gin, I'm a mother of two daughters, one that is obsessed with chopping off her sister's hair and the Teletubbies. I need some action. I'd've asked Hermione, but well you know: I assume she's just as sensitive as Draco at the moment.
Honestly those two are so stubborn, you'd be blind not to see they've got something there. I mean, there's so much sexual tension between them I'm surprised they haven't exploded without touch!
See what's happening to me Ginny! The daytime Soapies aren't helping and the fact my mother is extending her visit cramps my style…
Help a friend would you?
Marz
To: Marz
From: Ginny
Re: I totally…
Agree with you! Hermione would argue that they've only known each other for a couple of weeks, and hated each other with a passion at school, that nothing could happen between them!
Load of dragon dung if you ask me.
Don't tell Hermione I said this, or Josh for that matter! That man has the biggest mouth around, no offence :P
In the beginning, they were going normal, whatever that is to them, and then the subject turned about what Draco did for Hermione on Saturday.
Anyways, Herms was a little peeved at first because he said he just did it so she wouldn't have to spend time with Dretski, the pig-headed ape. She argued that she didn't need him to help her and said she wished he didn't put in those Galleons: she was insulted, but secretly was grateful.
Then Draco agreed that he shouldn't have wasted his money on someone who didn't appreciate it (obviously he's struggling with coming to terms of his feelings for her, as she to him)
Then Hermione, the idiot, confuses the whole thing by saying she did care and asks why he did it.
He at this stage is frustrated and in rage, as any man would by a woman who is so persistent and aggressive, and she isn't helping when she presses on why he did it and states that she knows he doesn't care for a mudblood like her.
This is where the fun starts...
This statement riles up Draco, and he stomps over to Hermione who is standing tall, but worried shitless because of the predatory passionate look in his eyes, and bends down to her and asks, (she memorised this bit mind you) "I don't care do I?"
Then they pashed! Like an explosive sour gobberstopper! All that passion and anger boiled up, released into a frenzy of roaming and saliva, lasting well over two minutes, hotting up layer by layer! Then when it was just getting to the next step (being pushed onto the desk) he pulls away and says " I DO CARE GRANGER"
Obviously not as capitalised and loud and the tone would've been hoarse, I mean, they just kissed senseless right, but that's beside the point!
I knew eventually all that sexual apprehension and irritation because of it would lead to something so…ooh!
I'm about to fall off my seat!
But hitting reality, I think this will be a bit of a problem. I mean he's her lawyer for Merlins sake and they're both too stubborn to do anything about it!
If they can both see past their past, well who knows what will happen!
Gin
To: Gin
From: Marz
Re: Oh my…
I mean, to some people it wouldn't be a big deal…but with those two…
I've just recovered from my drought, stuff the soapies when you've got a case like theirs.
Haha, well this should be interesting! Can't wait for the next instalment. Thanks for the Goss Ginny! I owe you a large margarita pizza and large garlic bread!
Thanks sweetie!
Marz
To: Marz
From: Gin
Re: hehe
Don't forget the extra cheese!
Gin
DRACO'S DIARY
17/7
Well what can I say; I'm a wand with a stud…or is that the other way around? Anyways, I'm a 26-year-old bachelor, handsome at that, with no partner (which would explain the bachelor apart, but isn't very helpful for the handsome factor…)
I'm drunk if you can't tell diary, why you ask? Well I have no answer to that or the reason as to why you are asking me a question…
I'm going to go any lie down…
DRACO'S DIARY
Well that was interesting…not. I wonder what's worse: dreaming about Granger or…wait nothing is as bad as her…
I can't get her out of my bloody head, and it's killing me!
Oh wait a minute; perhaps snogging her senseless yesterday could be up there amongst the worst things…
Well it wasn't that bad, much better then I'd like to admit.
I don't know what came over me! She's the only one that can get me that mad and bloody frustrated and instead of dealing with it civilly, I shove my tongue down her throat!
Merlin just open the gates of hell and flush me down, just like I'm going with this vodka.
I don't like her do I? No…but I do "CARE"! God, what was I thinking!
Ouch, note to self, do not bang glass vodka bottle against head.
Wait a minute, she's just as much to blame as I am…I didn't see her trying to stop it! Heck I don't even understand why she was so angry when I bid the highest for her and got her from Dretski. I did it because didn't want him to crack onto her like before, right? That's why I did it right?
Why don't women come with manuals? Preferable pictured ones, a much better image if you get what I mean…I need to know how to read them.
(Working them is just fine)
It's her fault anyway, if she wasn't drunk on Saturday and didn't cling to me for life, this would be totally different.
Ah shit. Now I've hit a dilemma.
I'm telling you now, this is worse than the shocking Bold and the Beautiful storyline.
Don't ask, Marz influence.
To: Draco
From: David
Re: YOU
What's wrong with society these days? Actually never mind society, what the hell is up with you and Grey? He's acting like a giddy schoolboy who got his first kiss behind the shed and your acting like Bad Santa.
Am I the only normal one in this office?
Whatever his happening I can only assume it's to do with you, so find a way to stop it. We want to get more clients not push them away because both you knuckleheads aren't getting any sex.
David
To: David
From: Draco
Re: Normal…
"I" and "normal" should never be in the same sentence when it relates to you. As to why Josh and I aren't our smart ass selves, well it's Wednesday and we're here at work with you…after 3 years, it gets to you and hits hard.
Mind your beeswax Felnof
Draco
To: Draco
From: Josh
Re: Hey Romeo
…yesterday I was only stirring you up when I thought you two kissed, but now that I know the details…it explains a whole lot more of what I heard!
I guess no woman should ever get you mad eh? Who knows what you're capable of :P
Josh
TheDraconis: WHO THE HELL TOLD YOU!
I8THETELETUBBIES: no need to shout! I can here you from your office!
TheDraconis: GREY!
I8THETELETUBBIES: okay, okay. Marz told me, who heard it from Ginny, who got it from the poor victim herself, Hermione.
TheDraconis: oh my god, this is like a schoolyard gossip session. Shit.
I8THETELETUBBIES: So lover boy, how was it…:P
TheDraconis: Quite good actually, WHICH IS BESIDE THE POINT!
I8THETELETUBBIES: there you go with the capitals…
TheDraconis: If you dare, say anything to Felnof, I will get that smiley tie you're wearing, tighten it around your throat until your head explodes. You got that! Don't think I can't, remember the toad I tried it on?
I8THETELETUBBIES: Um how could I? It was poisonous! I was in St Mungo's for a month! Good times those…
TheDraconis: Just don't even think about it!
I8THETELETUBBIES: Oh I won't. Why would I want to give Felnof something to talk about. His voice is irritating…
TheDraconis: Good.
TheDraconis: Logged off
I8THETELETUBBIES: Logged off.
To: Gin
From: Hermione
Re: Um…
Mind telling me why there's an owl near your window?
Hermione
To: Gin
From: Herm
Re: Well…
…That's a nice way to get rid of the bird, just throw it…it's also a good way of hurling yourself out of the window!
Judging by that groan and gasp, I assume it's from your parents…
Herms
To: Hermione
From: Gin
Re: I don't know if I should tell you…
But you're old enough and I will. So Harry's gone for a year right all around the world and we won't be able to contact him throughout the tournament. We already know about that…
KfgsafdhfLUNAadsnasdhasodISaldhasadasddPREGNANT
So yeah, all good.
Mum's invited you to come to dinner tonight too.
Gin
To: Gin
From: Hermione
Re: WHAT
Luna is pregnant? Ha! Big shocker there, I told you something was up at your mums the other week!
Oh well, good luck to them. At least something is working out.
Ah I think I'll skip out tonight, but send my regards.
Hermione
To: Hermione
From: Draco
Re: I know you'll ignore this but grow up…
I knew that'd get you mad…but you can't be as angry as I am now…
Do you realise that you have set up a chain of chaotic events? You see Ms Granger, you told Red what happened on Monday, who told Marz, who spilt it onto Josh. So as you can imagine the chaos I am going through at the moment threatening Josh not to tell David OR my cousin. Somehow, I know he'll find out, which will affect your case.
So thankyou for starting this up, if you have any ides how to end this series of unfortunate events I really want to know Granger!
Draco
FROM THE DESK OF GINNY
Okay now I heard you groan, what's up…
P.S. sorry if this papers hits your head, as you can tell I'm throwing it over the cubicle...
You know when you tell someone a secret, it's meant to be between them…
Um, possibly…
WHY DID YOU TELL!
I don't care that Marz knows, I'd have told her sooner or later, but she told Josh! You moron!
Oh come on, it's no dig deal Hermione…
Well it is too me…ah shove it. I'm over it now… No you're not
Maybe not, but I reckon Sharmayne wouldn't tell so quickly
Haha!
Okay maybe she would. We should stop this you know, Carl keeps looking over at us, and I think it's a little unusual that a ball of paper is being thrown about.
Give my regards to Ron and Luna.
To: Hermione; Draco; Josh; Mary; Ginevra
From: David
Re: Oh my God
…all this kafuffle is about a snog shared by two dimwits in an act of passionate anger? Get a grip people.
To Hermione and Draco, if it's not a big deal, stop making it one. The more defensive you are about something, the more truth there is to it. But of course you are both too blind to see that and anything else beside yourselves…
To you other three, if someone tells you something, keep it to yourselves! You're breaching a code of something, I really couldn't be stuffed to write now, wasting my time on you imbeciles.
So grow up the lot of you. Deal with it like normal adults, and not love struck teens.
I won't be telling anybody, I don't want to stoop to that level.
David
To: Draco; Marz; Gin; Herms
From: Josh
Re: David
He's right yo know, I hate it when he's right. Why does he have to be right?
What do you think we should do?
I say we give him major shrinkage that would really pull his pride. Marz, you know the spell for that, what do you say?
Josh
David Felnof
Malfoy Grey and Felnof
100 Georgeston Avenue, Suite 12
London, England
12345
18/7/05
Dear Xavier,
I'm writing to you just to give you some of the low down concerning your irritating cousin and his client. Seems they're getting a little too close for comfort. There was a scene on Monday, which has led to a three-day ordeal of gossip sessions and just plain idiocy.
Let's just say it's only a matter of time before one of them snaps and something happens. Anyway's, if you want to know more contact me, you know how too.
David Felnof
To: Herms
From: Gin
Re: Check this out…
Attach: Jonkson case
Yesterday at mum's, dad gave me some clippings about Jonks since he worked in the ministry. He's bad Herms and what's even worse is that he's the Malfoy's' enemy, especially Draco and the late Lucius Malfoy…
I'd be worried if I were you. If it's not a battle against you, he must be pining for Draco.
Gin
Attach 1: Jeremiah Jonkson wizards new Dark Lord?
February 23rd 1996
Under the black hoods covering the faces of evil, a glint is seen in the eyes of the death eater. Many who have come face to face with the wizarding world's most shameful being have seen this image before their painful Avada Kedavra death.
This premature war is hitting the better-known wizards including Auror Vector McGraw in the Ministry of Magic's Defence team.
The leader in this escapade is known to be 25-year-old Jeremiah Jonkson, a Durmstrang ex-student who excelled the dark arts in school.
He now is a criminal on the run and who kills everyone blocking his destructive path and believe to be a counterpart in the escapade is young Shane Nigen, 15, child of the notorious Franklin Nigen, Azkaban criminal, murdered by his Master Lord Voldemort himself.
If there is any information about the whereabouts of Jonkson, please owl the Ministry of Magic's Defence team. A reward is guaranteed of 2000 galleons.
Attach 2: Jonkson believed to be leader of worst duel in Wizard History
February 28th 1996
Whole town dead in one of the wizard world's most shocking public duels in history. As the war rears its ugly head, the innocent are paying the price for the Ministry's reckless decisions as yet again Harry Potter warns that the Dark Lord is more powerful than ever and ready too attack at any moment.
It has been known that Infamous fugitive Death Eater Jeremiah Jonks is the leader of the tribe as Lucius Malfoy is serving a sentence in Azkaban and the Dark Lord himself location is unawares.
Jonks led his team of Death Eaters, including Bellatrix Lestrange, into the little town of Greendale, initially targeting Joe Frey of he Ministry, but instead ended up murdering the whole population of the town.
"This is tragic," reports Roy Anderson. " Too many are dieing for this not too make a big deal. We all know who the leader is; if we find him…we get our answers. Hopefully Jonkson will be caught before more lives are lost.
Attach 3: The war at final rest
February 10th 1997
Finally after seventeen years of battling a war with no name, The Dark Lord and his minions have been defeated. Harry Potter and Neville Longbottom along with fellow Hermione Granger and Ronald Weasley, have together put an end to the turmoil endured the last few years.
In a horrific battle, the Dark Lord was defeated in the Ultimate sacrifice by Neville Longbottom and the final spell by Harry Potter, to seal the end of a hard fought four day battle.
"I'm so glad it is all over," the Gryffindor Seeker comments, "But we can not forget that Neville Longbottom was the hero in all of this. His courage and loyalty to all of his friends was most appreciated, and I think we all owe a lot to him. Rest in Peace Neville."
The wizard world rejoices in this fortunate event, and February 9th will go down as one of the most victorious days in History.
Attach 4: Jonkson caught after Malfoy betrayal
March 7th 1997
Over a year after the Death Eater rebellion, Jeremiah Jonkson has been caught and revealed by fellow supposed Death Eater Lucius Malfoy.
" I wanted revenge. I was put into this jail under false pretences with no evidence supporting that I was apart of the disgraceful Death Eater mob," Malfoy states.
" I can not comment as to how I have received the information of his whereabouts, but I do hope that his future in Azkaban is worse than the death he should've endured in the war."
Jonkson was found in the Forbidden Forest on the outskirts of Wizard school Hogwarts in an underground bunker. His comment made was most unsettling:
"I didn't do anything! It was all Malfoy's idea, I had no part in the war! They put me in here trapped and wand less so I couldn't reveal the location of the Dark Lord! I tell you now; I will avenger Lucius Malfoy all in his name. He is the traitor who revealed himself as I. He should not be trusted. Let the shame fall on your shoulders."
Jonkson is the only known Death Eater to have survived the War and will serve the rest of his life in Azkaban.
Attach 5: Jonkson freed from Azkaban
July 27th 2004
An unknown source has freed Jeremiah Jonkson, notorious and feared Death Eater from Azkaban. It is believed that a member from the Ministry bailed out Jonks for a hefty fee.
"We should've given him the Kiss while we had the chance. The law has betrayed us all. It has allowed the community to feel fear again since the war," Arthur Weasley, running for Minister comments. "It needs a change."
In a Public appearance, the hooded Jonks states:
"I still stand by my comments years before: I was not apart of the Great War. I have suffered long enough in this hellhole and have survived because I knew I didn't do anything wrong. Do you see the Dark Mark on my arm, where is you're proof? I will avenge my turmoil, I went in as a murderer and though I was not…I'll probably come back as one…"
Attach 6: A Missing Eye, and a Missing Painting...
One of the long forgotten paintings of the 17th Century has been stolen from the home of owner, Harriet Nigen.
Titled: The Man who Sees All, is a magical painting, but unique as it does not move around, and yet holds a secret inside: which no one knows anything about.
Harriet claims released criminal Jeremiah Jonks has taken the painting as revenge for not bailing him out of Azkaban.
A spokesperson for Jonks says the theory itself is criminal and thatNigen should have better security on her house.
The painting was supposed to be inherited by Harriet's niece Shane Nigen, daughter of notorious Death Eater Franklin Nigen, who was last seen at the hands of the Drak Lord himself.
Shane a clever and bright student who excelled at potions in Durmstrang has not made a comment about the painting and an inside source says she didn't even know it was gone...
Sorry had to cut it off there, got even more boring…
So what did you think? It doesn't state what he looks like, which is probably why we didn't recognise him straight away. He's a moron if you ask me, but the question remains who let him out?
Let's have lunch!
Ginny
To: Gin
From: Hermione
Re: Well…
That was depressing. Thanks for ruining my Thursday with information about my new nemesis. Could we report him or anything?
I don't know what to do, I think I'll have to talk to Malfoy about this…
Hermione
P.S. Is that all you can think about, Food? You could be dieing and your lasts words would be: Can I have some Stroganoff? Save the food eating contests, Hermione…
To: Draco
From: Hermione
Re: Okay…
Let's forget about Monday, and act slightly more civilised for at least this email.
I'm sure you've done research about Jonks, but the fact that you didn't know before was really unusual, so I'm guessing that you already knew, but didn't want to tell me because hey, it just must affect this pathetic case.
So spill it Malfoy, what's his connection with you and your father!
Hermione
To: Hermione
From: Draco
Re: Civilised?
If I remember correctly you were the one getting all touchy…
Listen it's not that interesting, but yes I did know: but that's none of your business, so Granger let me help you and you help me by not interfering, capische?
Draco
To: Draco
From: Hermione
Re: Well…
Obviously someone has got issues!
I don't know what your problem is but if you're my Lawyer I deserve to know what your relationship is too him, and I will find out Malfoy, just you wait!
Jeremy,
As you previously requested I have got some information concerning the pending case. Cannot say mush about it now, in case this falls into the wrong hands.
I have an idea that will avenge your enemy for sending you to Azkaban. Let no more be said.
You know where to meet me,
X
To: Hermione
From: Sharmayne
Re: Darling…
Would you mind not pressing so hard on the keyboard, I've had a little bit too much to drink, so all this light and your irritating noise aren't helping the fact I'm as drunk as a man who has blown it all in a horse contest: a bit like my second ex-husband…
So please precious, would you mind keeping down I'd hate to regurgitate all over my new Armani suit. Last time I did that the dry cleaner made it look like some thing to come out of Kmart.
Sharmayne
XOXOX
To: Sharmayne
From: Hermione
Re: Sorry…
…I'm just mad at my computer screen. Well actually the person who I'm emailing, self-absorbed ass…
He won't tell me what I need to know and I'm not in a conversational mood with him right now.
Hermione
Shane,
I've got to do it; I can't stand this any longer. Both the Malfoy's are giving me migraines, I really don't know which ones head is bigger. And Granger, my god, feminist extraordinaire!
I'm going to stand up for myself this time Shane, I don't care that you got me out of Azkaban, I don't want to make the same mistakes again, following someone only to be backstabbed and betrayed. You're on your own.
Xavier's already suspicious, and that man knows everything. The poor bastard thinks his in on some terrible secret that will bring down his cousin and the Mudblood, watch your steps.
I'm meeting up with him in a while, you won't be able to stop me.
JJ
To: Hermione
From: Sharmayne
Re: Ah I see…
So it's about a man I gather, well unless your referring a female with "him" then I think you've got a vocabulary issue.
If he won't spill it over the phone darling, why don't you just break into his house or at least pay him a visit? I did that to my third ex-husband and he was mightily shocked. Of course, it was the Repo man coming to take some things to my pent house, but that's beside the point.
Hope that works Sweetie
Sharmayne
XOXO
Diary of Hermione Granger
19/7/05
Okay so I'm walking up to the door of Draco's muggle home, multitasking.
What possessed me to do this? Oh yes that's right, Sharmayne. The woman who has three ex-husbands and is possibly the worst person to ask for advice when it comes to men: unless you're planning to sleep with them.
Wow his house is nice, a large multi-story modern home with oh! Roses and frangipanis! I must admit, he has nice taste; but I don't get why you have to walk a bloody kilometre until you get to his door.
And why is his house so big in the first place? It's probably only him living in there, oh wait…he probably adds a level each time he has a woman: lovely, but I don't care. I think I'll stay on the first.
Well I'm near the door now I can't do this! What will I say?
"Yeah listen Malfoy, I said I'd find out so I'm here. Spill it!"
No no, that's wrong!
I hate it when he does this. But he's doing nothing at all, that's what I hate! I'm never this tongue-tied! Oh stuff it here it goes.
Merlin, I hear footstep! Maybe I could do a runner and he won't even notice I was here! Yeah right Granger, as if you're going to run a kilometre in ten seconds…
Its times like these I wish I was athletic rather than intelligent.
Shit…
"Granger? What are you doing here…"
He's topless…topless!
"Well, I am just going to…"
"Are you writing this down? You are insane, quick come inside. I wouldn't want any of my neighbours seeing you here…"
"How could they when you're a kilometre from civilisation…"
Okay so I'm in the Slytherin stronghold, and must I say I'm in love with his house. It's got this rich medieval theme to it, with just a little Thai feel.
Did he just say something? What did he say… I look like the biggest knucklehead.
Oh he asked if I wanted a drink, double scotch I said. I don't even drink scotch! This is trouble…
"I know what you're here for Granger, but I don't think I trust you enough with the information."
Where did he come from? At least he's got a shirt on: I don't think I could trust me eyes, enemy or not.
"I don't care what happened in the past…"
"Listen I don't even know myself what happened Granger. Everything I could tell you would be a second source. And anyway you'd find out sooner or later…"
"What's that supposed to mean?" what a nerve…
"Oh come on Granger, you didn't become a journo for no reason. Your bossiness had to come in somewhere…"
…
Oh what a woos…
Diary of Hermione Granger
19/6
Right now I'm at home, free from topless men and scotch…thank Merlin, because any longer, well…
Turns out Draco's father was a death eater: worst kept secret of the century and the Malfoy family knew Jonks. In fact they were good friends.
Blablablabla, turns out Jonks stole money and women from Lucius so he well, revealed him and put Jonks in prison. Jonks knew it was Lucius, because he told Draco where he was hiding.
It didn't help that Jonks and Malfoy Snr were fighting for Right-hand to Lord Voldy.
So Draco sent an anonymous letter to the Ministry and BOOM, Jonks was found and captured.
Ever since then Jonks has somehow tried to sabotage the Malfoy name, but because he hasn't got any of his magic with him, it's unsuccessful.
Or at least that's what I forced out of Malfoy. Of course he could've just made it up to shut me up, to that I'd say I was impressed, how very vaguely. I didn't give him much chance to say anything else…
Funny what guys would do if their broomstick was in danger, and by that I don't mean family jewels…
The weird thing is, that if Jonks was a close Family friend of the Malfoys, why didn't Draco recognise him? So I asked and he said I asked too many questions, so I asked again. His plain answer was that Jonks was always under a hood, no one saw his face, not even half the Death Eaters. That's why no one could capture him, as no one knew what he looked like.
Then Draco announced that maybe I should find a new lawyer, someone who wasn't so connected to him. I could see the sense in it, I didn't entirely agree, but I knew he was right.
Then we started arguing, a most common habit now a days, about the case and Draco's surprise that I agreed so quickly…then it lead onto what happened on Monday. If I wasn't comfortable before, at that moment I felt as if I was a sheared sheep in winter.
He was so cool and calm about it …and me? Well I looked like a mad ape, arms flinging around like a propeller. He just sat there arms folded and that annoying- yet irresistible- smirk on his face.
"What happened? I can't remember…" he says…
He acted so serenely about it, while during the last four says I was fretting like a headless chicken. Did he not care? Did he always kiss clients so passionately they can't walk after it! Because I must say, my bottom is still in pain after I fell off the chair when it ended.
I bet he forgot about it straight after he barged through those doors, and most likely bragged to all his friends, so I asked him.
Then he got off his chair and I thought it'd be a repeat of Monday, I wished it was…he asked for me to leave before anything else happened.
So I went, gladly.
To: Hermione
From: Ginny
Re: So…
How the hell are you going to find another lawyer in a month? Why did you let Malfoy go yesterday? Are you delusional? He might be an arrogant nutcase, but he's the best one out there, arrogant nutcase I mean.
Oh well, I guess Tim will be disappointed, he couldn't wait to see Draco again, we all had a bet and he lost. HA! Now I can rub it in his face…well that's of course after I stuff my face with this creamy, sweet, full-of-fat pasta sauce…mmm just the way I like it.
Gin
To: Gin
From: Hermione
Re: Nice…
I can hear you drooling from here. You might want to do that somewhere else, we try to look and sound professional here.
It doesn't matter why we've split, I guess I need someone I can trust that's all.
Hermione
To: Hermione
From: Ginny
Re: Ha!
Or someone you don't want to sleep with.
Gin
Jeremy,
Are you sure this is what you want to do? You're about to blow you're chance on getting even with my dear cousin and his mudblood broad- well of course that's the worst kept secret of the last century-
But if that is what you wish, it is what must be done. Ever since that day I agreed to pretend that I freed you from Azkaban, you've been keeping secret from me! What's the idea of getting the Mudblood involved? And who did in fact help you escape the prison?
I need you to be honest with me, but I feel I've been taken advantage of. So it's time to spill.
Xavier
To: Draco
From: Josh
Re: Well
…All good things come to and end, or that's mainly what happens to you: I knew you were cursed.
But I can't help wonder that that's just the reason why you let go, or did she say tata to you?
Oh bloody hell, this stupid muggle Tamagotchi thing keeps buzzing! I'm telling you all it does is shit, eat and put on weight, kinda like us eh?
Great it's done 3 deposits, can't they clean themselves? Lazy…whatever they are… oh now it's happy look at it jump around.
I tell you now, I wouldn't mind if someone cleaned my ass once in a while…why did Mary buy Ashley this?
Josh
Draco,
Please contact me immediately; we have an abrupt issue ensuring the future of this case.
Floo me, if you must.
Regards
Xavier
To: Josh
From: Draco
Re: I think….
She brought it for you actually. You seem more attached to it than you're daughters :P
I mean, at least you clean the alien, I guess you're kids are another story.
Anyways, it looks like we're saved. Xavier wants to meet up with me about this case, I can't wait to see his face when I tell him it's over
Draco
To: Draco
From: Josh
Re: oh?
…and here I thought it was you who took up the case just to beat Xavier at his own game?
Interesting.
As for the Tamagotchi comment, at least you can't smell the creatures crap, Ashley and Jasmine's on the other hand, is alien.
Josh
To: Ginny
From: Hermione
Re: Guess what!
Malfoy, the idiot, just flooed into my house (I don't know how he got past my security, anyways that's for another instalment) scared the life out of me, but brought me the most interesting news (he finally got it out after I scolded him, he then put the silence spell on me, git) but I cant help but feel it's slightly suspicious…
Jonks has dropped the charges!
But why…?
Hermione