Authors note: Thank you so much for the reviews! I'm glad that you like this story so far. Okay, here's the next chapter. Enjoy and don't forget to review, thanks!
Roderich had no idea what he was getting himself into. He first had his mind set on figuring out what was wrong with Gilbert and when he went to get answers, he got none. It was frustrating. Instead of going through with what he had planned, he went and made an agreement with the fool.
It was still killing him inside to know why the man was acting upset in the first place. But since he saw him smile and start acting like himself again, there was really no point in asking anymore.
Maybe he'll find out another day.
The afternoon went by smoothly as he finished his last piece and felt content with himself. He wondered when the other was going to barge in and start distracting him like he usually did.
Just then there was a pounding at the door.
Speak of the devil.
Roderich sighed and got up from his chair walking to his front door. When he opened it he was met with a huge bouquet of roses in his face. He yelped in shock and took a step back.
"What the-?"
"Guten Morgen!" Gilbert chimed and walked straight into his house without permission and with a bright smile on his face. He was acting his usual cheery self, but something was a little different about him. Just a couple of hours ago he looked beat up and forlorn. Now he was wearing a dress shirt, pants, nice shoes, and his hair combed neatly.
And is that a fucking tie he's wearing?
"It's not morning! And what are these?" Roderich scowled while pointing at the dozen of roses that he held out to him.
"Oh these? Kese, such a funny story. I was about to come to your house, but then I had an idea. I thought that maybe you were feeling down, so I decided to go into town and buy these for you. Here." Gilbert shoved the roses into his arms unceremoniously and walked past him to head to his kitchen.
Roderich felt so confused. Weren't flowers for women and especially for people in relationships?
He followed the crazed man into the kitchen and saw him looking through his cabinets.
"What are you doing?" Roderich placed the roses on the table and rushed towards him to stop him before he made a mess of things.
"I need coffee. Do you have any?"
"Yes I do. Go sit down and stop messing around with my kitchen!" Roderich took him by the arm and dragged him to a chair at the table pushing him down onto it. Then he went and prepared them some coffee.
He boiled water in silence and when he was done he mixed the instant coffee into two mugs. He took a big sip out of his coffee to make sure the taste was just right. He swished it around in his mouth to test it and then felt satisfied.
"Soo, I was thinking…want go out on a date?"
Roderich spit out his coffee against the sink wall. He turned around quickly with his face flushed. "W-What!?"
"You know a date? Go out and eat, drink a little, you know those things?"
"Are you a homosexual or something?"
"Do you want me to be?" Gilbert winked at him and his cheeks flushed a vibrant red.
He turned around again and faced the kitchen wall to hide his embarrassment. "Don't say such things. You sound ridiculous."
"Oh come on~ You know I meant like a friendly date. Hey, we can do whatever you like this time and it's on me. What do you say?"
Roderich didn't like it when Gilbert was joking around with him. He also didn't like that he had to clean off the mess on his wall now either…
But for some reason, when he mentioned the word 'date', it kind of made his heart flutter in a little excitement.
"Whatever I want?" Roderich asked.
"Yea, whatever. Just name it." Gilbert smiled.
Roderich turned around when he felt his embarrassment lessen a little and stared at the other at the table.
"Fine. But I want to go somewhere different this time. Not the same old stupid restaurant that you like."
"Well, didn't I say anything you want?"
"Yes you did." He sighed. "Okay fine, let me get dressed."
Roderich walked off out of the kitchen. But then he felt curious about something so he walked back in.
"Gilbert?"
"Hm?" Gilbert looked up from his coffee and Roderich couldn't help but blush at how cute he looked at the moment.
"Um..why are you doing all of this?" Roderich felt nervous just asking, but he was confused. He deserved to know what was going on.
Gilbert gave him a sweet smile and responded. "It's because you're my best friend. I don't want you to be angry anymore, and honestly I think your music is making you this way."
"It is not!" Roderich got tense for a second, but then realized there was no point in taking offense to that. Maybe he was right. Maybe his music was making him hot tempered. "I mean…maybe it is…and...Thank you."
Roderich quickly walked out of the kitchen again in embarrassment and headed upstairs. Gilbert just sat there at the table smiling to himself while he took another sip from his coffee mug.
'This is going to be very interesting.' Gilbert thought.
So far everything was going well. They had left the house around two in the afternoon and headed off to one of the restaurants Roderich liked. They ate lunch and surprisingly Gilbert was behaving well.
He was acting less insane than he usually did and this shocked Roderich. On one hand it made him happy, but on the other it made him confused. It still bothered him that Gilbert was being nice to him. His personality was changing before his eyes and he had no idea why.
Roderich was sitting across from Gilbert at a small table. He stared at him in thought, but Gilbert paid no mind and kept eating in silence.
'Look at him. He's being so quiet; I wonder what he's planning?' Roderich thought as he brought his tea to his lips and took a sip. He still kept his eyes on him cautiously just in case he pulled a fast one on him. 'Today I can ask him what's been going on. But I guess first things first, the dat- I mean plans.'
Roderich coughed trying to get the thought of them being on a date together out of his mind. This was just a hang out, nothing more. That's what Gilbert stated anyways.
Eventually they finished their food, paid the waiter and exited the restaurant. It was around three now as they started walking through town.
Usually by now Gilbert would bug him about getting some ice cream, but he kept quiet while he walked next to him. He had his pants in his pockets and had a smirk on his face.
He was being quiet. Too quiet. What was he panning?!
Roderich cleared his throat again. "So, what are the next plans?"
Gilbert shrugged. "I don't know. It's your call remember?"
"Mm." Roderich had no idea what to do. He never had the chance to plan things with his friend before because Gilbert would always have something for them to do.
This was definitely different from all the other times they spent together. Plus it was difficult because they lived in such a small town and there really wasn't much to do.
He was out of ideas.
"Yea so, did you come up with anything yet?" Gilbert asked as he glanced at him from the side.
"Honestly, no. Can you think of anything? We're just wasting time doing nothing."
"Hah, true, but at the same time, what's the rush?" Gilbert smiled and Roderich scowled.
"Well I kind of have to get ready for tomorrow. I'm going to hand in a couple of my finished pieces to the music association so that I can schedule my first performance."
"No way!" Gilbert exclaimed. "You're having your recital so soon? When? Where? I want to go!"
There was the Gilbert he knew.
Roderich turned his head away so he could hide his smile. "I don't know yet. Soon though, so I have to get home soon."
"Oh okay fine specs. First, let's walk around for a little and talk."
Roderich scoffed. "Talk about what? How awesome you are and how no one else can be as great as you?"
Gilbert laughed. "Ja, that is all true and all, but I wanted to actually talk about you for once."
Roderich felt a chill run through him. 'Talk about me? But why?'
Gilbert could tell that he was confused about what he said, so he elaborated more.
"Like for instance, your recital. Are you nervous? Are you really prepared to play in front of a lot of people?"
Roderich never really thought about it. He was so content with playing alone, and sometimes for Gilbert on occasion, but never in front of so many people.
As he was thinking about it more, he now became nervous.
What if he doesn't do as well? What if he makes a mistake and makes a fool of himself? He probably would never play again because of the humiliation.
Roderich frowned as he thought about it more. Now he wasn't sure he could do this.
"Hey Roddy? You okay? You're not really that nervous are you?"
"I…" Roderich didn't know what to say. He didn't want to come out like he was nervous and couldn't handle it. At the same time, he couldn't help but feel paranoid.
"Hey." Gilbert stopped walking and grabbed his arm. He turned him so that he could look him in the face. But instead Roderich tumbled into him clumsily and they both blushed. Their bodies were close together as Roderich began to tremble against him.
Gilbert blushed as well realizing what he did was not as innocent as he wanted, so he took a step back to give him his room.
"Uh, I mean, listen you don't have to be nervous about it. I was just asking about how you feel. You know you'll…you know, do good and ja..Let's sit over there!" Gilbert was never good with words, but just hearing those words from him made his heart beat fast.
Roderich turned and watched as Gilbert took a seat on a bench by the lake they always went to. It was like their signature hang out place. He found it peaceful because there weren't many people who occupied the area.
Roderich walked over and sat down next to him on the bench. After the little words of encouragement Gilbert gave him, he honestly felt better.
Maybe now was the right time to ask him about what's been going on.
"Gilbert…I just wanted to say thank you." Roderich started not even bothering to look at him in the eyes because he was too embarrassed. He didn't understand what he was feeling and it was strange. But he knew he couldn't look at him, so he just stared at his hands on his lap.
"Thanks for what?" Gilbert asked in confusion.
"For, you know what you just said just now. I appreciate it." He couldn't believe what he was saying and it shocked him that he was being nice to this man.
"Oh, it's n-not a problem." Gilbert looked away and stared at something to hide his blush that was forming. Did Roderich really just thank him?
"I am nervous about performing in front of everyone. But..I have to do this. It's my career and I need to be in my right mind."
"Yea, I know. But you'll be fine though. I watch you practice almost all the time and I never seem to dislike it."
Roderich felt the flutter in his heart again. Gilbert actually paid attention to his music? Okay now this was strange. And why was his heart beating so fast? Was he starting to feel something for this man? It was impossible though because he wasn't gay.
But..this feeling he was having was telling him otherwise.
'No!' Roderich thought angrily. 'This is Gilbert! The one who annoys me and won't leave me alone. How could I like this fool?'
Roderich stole a glance and immediately blushed and turned away when he saw that Gilbert was staring back at him.
In an instant he could have sworn that he saw adoration in his eyes, but it could just be his mind playing a trick on him.
Gilbert sighed and placed his arm on the bench chair right behind Roderich.
Okay now was the perfect time to ask.
"You know..you've been acting strange lately. You haven't been yourself and I want to know why." Roderich said while keeping his eyes focused on his hands.
"What do you mean?" Gilbert raised an eyebrow. "Isn't this what you wanted from me? You seemed to hate it when I annoy you so much."
"I know, but I didn't want you to change totally. Why change yourself for me anyways? It makes no sense."
"Well, it's because you're my only friend and I want to make you happy…"
"Why?" Roderich snapped a little without meaning to. He now turned to face Gilbert and stared into his red eyes. "Why do you want to make me happy? What if I'm happy with you just being yourself?!" Roderich couldn't stop himself from saying those words as they just slipped out. But he still kept brave no matter how much he was blushing by now.
Gilbert smiled a little and shook his head. "You know you are really confusing Roddy. One minute you want me to stop annoying you and the next you want me to do it all over again. Is your mind broken or something?" He knocked on his head just a little with his fist and Roderich went to smack his hand away.
"No I am perfectly fine! I just, oh never mind!" Roderich sighed and turned to look at the water in the lake. Gilbert held in a laugh as he watched Roderich's embarrassment unfold before him. He thought that now would be a good time to bring him home so he could get ready for tomorrow. Since it was one of the most important day of his life you know? Otherwise, he would keep him out longer.
"Okay, let's get you back home. I don't want you to go tomorrow unprepared." Gilbert then got up from the bench and stretched. He watched as Roderich nodded and then followed.
They made their way back to their homes and said their usual goodbyes. Roderich walked to his front door and so did Gilbert. Before he let himself inside, Gilbert shouted out to him.
"Viel Glück für morgen!" Gilbert smiled and waved. 'Good luck for tomorrow!'
Roderich smiled back for once and it made Gilbert's heart skip a beat. His smile disappeared and was replaced with a look of shock as he slowed down his waving.
"Dank Beilschmidt!" Roderich called back as he let himself in the house.
Gilbert was still frozen in spot wondering where the change of attitude came from, all the while Roderick thought that tomorrow won't be so bad now that a few things were off his shoulders.
"Hm." The man before him hummed to himself as he looked over the finished pieces.
"You do know that these are shorter than the requirements for the performance?"
Roderich cleared his throat nervously and tried to keep from faltering. He tried his best to keep his face serious without giving away his nervousness. "Yes I am aware. If you may give me a moment of your time, I can hope to please you with my work."
The head of the music association eyed him wearily not really looking to trust his word on it. The man has had many in the past who claimed to be the best but ended up disappointing him. Only very few made it to the live concerts. But then he noticed the look of determination in this young man's face and thought that maybe he should trust this one.
The man then nodded and motioned him to the piano at the stage. "Very well then. Please take a seat and play for me."
Roderich nodded and went over to the piano that stood in the center of the stage.
The orchestra room was huge and it honestly made him feel very intimidated. But he needed this chance to finally prove himself that he was a good pianist. Of course he could play the clarinet and violin well, but his main focus and desire was the piano.
The music director sat in one of the first rows of seats and crossed his legs waiting patiently until he was ready to start.
Roderich was no doubt nervous about this whole thing. But then he just closed his eyes and took a deep breath while lowering his fingers to the keys.
After several seconds later, he began to play. At first the melody started off slow, but then soon it picked up after a couple of verses. He peeked from time to time at the director and noticed no signs of being pleased yet. He kept sort of a poker face through the whole thing causing him to feel like this was not going to work. He honestly felt like this was just a mistake coming here today and he really wasn't ready after all.
He finally finished his piece after a good ten minutes. He was so ready to play another because he had more pieces than this one. He wanted so badly to have another chance if the man didn't like it.
He turned to the director and awaited his response.
The man was way too serious for his own good. This whole thing was a nerve wrecking experience because he wanted so bad to get some feedback on his work. Mostly he wanted good feedback, but any response would do besides the whole 'Thank you for your time, we'll keep in touch' or something like that.
The director cleared his throat and then nodded. "Good. Short, but good so far. Do you have any longer pieces to show to me?"
Roderich let out the breath he was holding in. He felt so relieved that he wanted to shout out 'Yes!', but decided against it. He didn't want to step out of his seriousness so he just responded kindly.
"Yes, in fact I do have another that I have been working on for a while. I just recently finished it yesterday."
The man grunted in response. "Proceed then."
Now this time around it would be much different. This sort of piece was very long. He never really practiced it much before because he only just finished it recently. This did make him more nervous than he was before, but he had to do this. It was now or never.
He began playing the piano which started off fast, then gradually slowed and then quickened once again. It was a dramatic piece that he seemed to put a lot of emotion and effort in.
It was also the piece that he was rudely disrupted by when he was in the midst of creating it. All of those times he tried to correct and finish his work; Gilbert would come out of nowhere and ruin it for him.
It was really frustrating. He wanted to tie up the fool and lock him in the closet because he was so annoying and distracting.
But at the same time, he was thankful. If Gilbert had never popped out of nowhere and got him upset like that, then he would have never thought to put together such a piece.
It held a lot of emotions. Sadness, anger, happiness, then anger again, and then towards the end there was passion. It sounded ridiculous, but when he put it all together, it sounded amazing.
He could thank the man for helping him out with the piece even though it wasn't intentional, but then he would have to give him the benefit of the doubt. God knows how much he would continue to disrupt him them. It was better to leave the praise out for now.
He finally slowed to a stop and by that time he was panting a little and a sheen layer of sweat formed on his forehead. He didn't dare wipe it away because he didn't want to seem like he was tired or anything.
Because if the man wanted him to, he would play for hours to get this position. That's how desperate he was, whether it was sad or not, it was his dream.
It was quiet once again as he waited patiently to see what the man thought.
Then suddenly much to his surprise, he stood up from his seat and clapped.
"Magnificent! That was brilliant Mr. Edelstein!" The man smiled and he felt like he was going to faint.
He was magnificent? Brilliant?! He couldn't believe his ears.
It was honestly the best praise he had received. Not even his parents made him feel this way. This was indeed the best day of his life.
Roderich stood from his seat and bowed gracefully. He smiled to himself as he watched the man run up the stage and to him. He held out his hand for him to shake and he gladly obliged.
"Welcome Roderick! I hope you are ready for your first big performance." The man smiled holding his hand in a strong grip.
Roderich was more than ecstatic. He was amazed and panicking at the same time.
There was so much to do and so little time. He had to tell everyone. He had to tell Gilbert mostly because he had believed in him in the first place that he could make it in.
He couldn't wait to get home and share the exciting news.
The doorbell rang disturbing Gilbert from his video game he was playing. His eyebrows furrowed in frustration because he was getting so close in defeating the boss that he was on for hours.
He hit pause on the game even though he didn't want to and went to go answer the door. Just as he opened the door, a crazed looking Roderich jumped into his arms and squeezed him in a death grip hug.
"I got in! Ahahaha I did it!" Roderich exclaimed happily and Gilbert didn't know what to do with himself.
The man was in his freaking arms and he was so confused. But just hearing those words from him sent his emotions wild. Roderich got in.
Gilbert tried to hug back but before he could Roderich jumped off of him and let himself into his house without permission. Gilbert wanted to laugh because he reminded him of how he acted when he went over his house.
"I can't believe it! Can you believe it? Hah! I am the best! No one is better than me!" Roderich sang and danced in his living room and Gilbert couldn't help but laugh.
He was acting so different. Much different from his usual angry serious self and Gilbert honestly loved it. If only he was more like this on a regular basis, then they would be the best of friends.
"Congratulations Roddy. I told you that you were going to be fine." Gilbert smiled as he stared at the now calming Austrian in his living room.
Roderich was panting and his face was glowing in excitement. Gilbert would have never thought that there would be a happy side to his friend like this. It brought butterflies to his stomach because he loved the way he was acting.
He was so full of life and energetic than usual. He also wondered how much longer it would last. But he decided to enjoy the moment before it disappeared.
For he knew now that Roderich would soon become even busier than usual and have more of a short fuse when it came to his presence. But might as well take advantage right now while he could.
"Yes thank you. I thought about you when I played and it got me in!" Roderich exclaimed and fell onto the couch sighing in happiness.
Gilbert's cheeks burned at the mention of him thinking about him.
He really did think about him when he played? He didn't know if he heard that right or the fact if Roderich acknowledged what he had said. But it didn't matter now.
Gilbert walked to his friend lying on his couch with his eyes closed and panting. Then he smiled down at him.
Suddenly he had an idea.
"Well, now you know what that means?" He smirked.
Roderich opened his eyes and was met with playful red ones. What did he mean by that?
"What does what mean?" Roderich asked in between breaths.
"It's time to take you out and drink!"
Roderich raised an eyebrow. "Eh? Drink? I don't drink you know that."
"Ja I know. But this calls for a celebration. Let's go down to the bar and have a couple. What do you say?"
Roderich wasn't too sure if that was such a good idea because he was a lightweight after all. But he thought that he needed to get out and celebrate. It wasn't everyday that someone gets accepted and acknowledged as a musician, so he might as well enjoy the moment.
"Fine, whatever. But let's eat soon because I'm starving. I think my stomach ate itself when I was at the theater panicking away before." Roderich laughed.
"Haha, well let's feed that little stomach of yours and then let's get some bier!" Gilbert smiled brightly and held out a hand for him to take.
Roderick eyed his hand but then placed his hand in his own and was pulled up from the couch quickly.
"Okay fine. But I am just drinking wine tonight. Nothing more than that."
"Yea yea okay no problem." Gilbert rolled his eyes.
Roderich nodded in approval. "Lead the way then."
"Will do." Gilbert hooked his arm in his and started to lead them out of the house. Roderich was a little shocked at the gesture at first, but just shrugged it off and let Gilbert lead them out the door.
A whole lot of food and a couple of drinks later…
"Roddy! Let's go swimming!"
"You can't swim you fool, you'll drown remember?" Roderich sighed as they walked down the dark street. They had recently left the bar and were a little intoxicated. Gilbert of course convinced him to drink so he had a consumed more than he was used too. But he was still coherent unlike the mad man next to him hugging him every two seconds.
"I can and I will. Just watch me!" Gilbert runs off probably not knowing where he is going and Roderich shouts out after him.
"Wait stop! Where are you going!?" He runs after him but gets a little dizzy so he slows down.
Then he suddenly realizes that they're back at the lake once again. He had no idea why Gilbert kept wanting to go there, but he guessed he was about to find out.
"Look, watch me swim!"
Roderich finally caught up to him and was heaving for air. "Stop! You idiot you don't know how to swim!" Roderich calls out in between breaths and watches as Gilbert climbs onto the edge by the lake.
"What are you afraid that I'll drown again? Kesese please! That was so like ten years ago!"
"Ugh, whatever. Just get down from there so we could go home already. I'm getting tired."
"Psh. Calm down prissy pants!" Gilbert shouted and Roderich shot him a glare.
"What did you just call me?"
Gilbert gave a mischievous grin. "I said…you're a prissy pants!"
Roderich was seriously getting annoyed. He was tired of his foolish games and name calling. He just wanted to go home already and sleep off this buzz.
"I am not a prissy whatever pants and-"
"Prissy pants." Gilbert corrected him.
Roderich's face turned red with anger. "Whatever! I am going home now so you can just swim and kill yourself all you want. Gute Nacht!"
Roderich started to walk away and it made Gilberts grin fade. All he wanted was to joke around with his friend, not upset him again and make him mad.
Then an idea formed in his head.
Roderich was still walking off to his home when suddenly he heard a splash coming from the lake. He immediately stopped and swung around to see that Gilbert was no longer standing on the edge by the lake.
Panic started to rise within him as he stood there in shock.
'Did he just jump in? He can't swim! Oh mein Gott! Should I help him? No he's just doing this to get my attention…well I won't have it!' He thought angrily as he began to slowly walk away again.
If Gilbert was going to play this game on him, then he wouldn't fall for it.
But wait…was it a game?
He can't swim.
Oh Gott he can't swim!
He turned around again and ran for the lake. He got to the edge as quickly as he could and looked into the water.
The water was still and his panic started to worsen.
'He's playing right?' He thought. 'He can swim now. He's just joking right?'
Roderich's eyes scanned the lake and when another minute went by he decided that the idiot really was drowning. He then quickly removed his coat and shoes and dived in. The water was a little cold but that didn't matter. What mattered at the moment was to save him. To save his friend that he practically grew up with.
The water was dark and there was very little light from the tall lamp post that shined for his view. He tried not to panic too much as he almost blindly searched the water for his friend.
Suddenly a hand grabbed his arm and it startled him causing him to let out some air out of his lungs. He could faintly see Gilbert's silvery white hair in front of him as he grabbed him by the waist and started to swim upwards to give them air.
But then Gilbert stopped him.
He held on tightly to him so that they couldn't resurface. Roderick was starting to panic even more now because he was running out of oxygen and he was also confused as to why Gilbert stopped him.
Gilbert's face was close now as he looked into his eyes for a second and started to move forward. Roderick was in shock as suddenly Gilbert's lips touched his.
Gilbert leaned in to kiss him despite everything that had happened. He thought for sure he was drowning, but now it seemed to not matter.
Gilbert was kissing him.
Roderick's heart started to beat faster as Gilbert moved his lips against his. Despite not having air and about to pass out from the lack of oxygen, he closed his eyes and responded to the kiss.
He didn't understand what was happening in that moment and why he had kissed him. But he just let it happen anyways because it felt good and it felt right.
He didn't know how long it was before Gilbert released his lips from his and dragged them both to the surface for air. They both gasped and heaved for air when they finally reached the top.
So many emotions went through him at once. He didn't know how to feel or how to react.
His own friend had kissed him, under water and on purpose. But what for? What was the reason?
When Gilbert finally caught his breath he spoke first. "Good joke, I got you! Haha, I can swim!" He laughed.
But Roderick didn't laugh.
Suddenly his heart dropped and he frowned. His face was flushed with anger, confusion, and disappointment.
He was angry because he joked about drowning and he risked his precious oxygen for him. He was confused because Gilbert knew how to swim and tricked him. And he was disappointed because he had been kissed and it turned out to be a joke too.
What game was he playing and why did he have to be a part of it?
Roderick didn't say a thing as he angrily swam to the shore of the lake and got out. He grabbed his coat from off the ground and slipped on his shoes. Gilbert came out of the water just as he started to walk home in a fast pace.
"Wait Rod, where you going? It was just a joke!"
Now this really pissed him off to the max.
He shot around and shouted at him in fury.
"Joke? Joke! You find this a joke!? First I thought you were drowning and then you have the nerve to trick me! How was I supposed to know that you knew how to swim now?! You could have died! I thought you were in danger and then you…you kissed me. What the hell Gilbert?!" Roderick was fuming now and Gilbert held back any words as he stared back at him speechless.
He never saw Roderick this mad before and now he hated himself because he might have lost his friend due to his foolish games.
"This was way out of line and I would appreciate it if you never talk or see me again!" Roderick started heading home once again leaving him behind.
Gilbert stood there watching his only friend walk off.
He was upset with himself for playing such a prank on him like that. He was only trying to rekindle memories of when he first saved him because that was his favorite memory of his too.
But he definitely didn't plan on kissing him.
That came out of nowhere and it wasn't his intention to do so in the first place. But when he saw him in that moment, all he could think about was how happy he was that he was his friend. He couldn't help the way he felt then and wanted nothing more than to press his lips to his soft ones. And that's why he leaned in.
It all happened so fast and he was honestly very confused with himself. He loved Roderick as a friend.
Was he gay? Did he have feelings for him that he didn't know about until now?
His heart sunk as Roderick disappeared down the street. He stood there staring blankly at the path as he started to think about things.
It all made sense now. The interruptions, the wanting to be together all the time, the way he felt when Roderick yelled at him or smiled or hugged him rarely. Every moment and feeling that he ever cherished was of Roderick.
Now he finally understood why he couldn't leave the man.
He was in love with him. But now he may have lost him for good.
He practically ripped his front door open and slammed it shut behind him. The sound of the door slamming echoed in his hall as he kicked off his shoes and threw his coat off to the side not caring where it landed. He was so out of breath and angry that he didn't know what to do with himself.
He wanted to scream. He wanted to kill someone and at the same time he wanted to cry.
One of them got the best of him as he let out a pathetic sob and covered his face with his hands.
He was so confused and hurt. Why was he feeling this way when he should have just got angry and then laughed it off with him like it was nothing?
No, there was something there that he felt for him. And it all awaked inside once he placed his lips on his.
For once in his life he felt heartbroken. On top of that he didn't understand his feelings and why he was getting so upset about all of this. Of course he had every right to be upset about the fact that he was fake drowning.
But why did he kiss him like that and then said he was joking?
In that moment they had together, he felt alive. Like a fire had lit aflame and illuminated into view what he couldn't see before.
He was blind all along and now he finally figured out why he felt this way.
Why all of those days he wanted to see the fool and be disturbed by him when he played his music. Why he gave in every time and how he would tell him everything first before his own family. How he would get butterflies in his stomach when Gilbert stepped a little closer to him…closer than he was supposed to feel uncomfortable with but didn't.
Why he couldn't wait until he woke up the next day to see what he had to surprise him with next.
A sudden realization came over him as his breath caught in his throat.
His eyes widened as he let his hands slip slowly from his face letting the tears track down his cheeks.
He was starting to have feelings for him. Feelings like, as if he loved him.
It was all such a shock and it kind of scared him at the same time. How is it that all this time he hasn't noticed? Anyone else wouldn't have bothered with him because of his personality. But he kept by his side all this time.
At first he thought that they were just good friends that could tolerate one another. Somewhat. But when he kissed him just before, all of those thoughts had changed.
It was like his mind was on overdrive and now he finally figured out why Gilbert couldn't leave him alone. Also why that day Gilbert was acting strange and distant towards him when he admitted that his favorite memory of them was at the lake when he gave him mouth to mouth.
It all made sense. Why hasn't he seen it before?
But what now? He had told Gilbert to never talk to him again.
Roderich wiped his cheeks of his tears and sniffed to himself. He had just been hurt emotionally by Gilbert. If only he had just kissed him and didn't mention anything about it being a joke, they could be fine now.
Probably more than fine.
Suddenly he felt the same rush feeling he felt before when they were kissing. They could be more than friends and that scared the living day out of him.
He had to be gay. There was no way around it now. He loved the way Gilbert moved his lips with his own. The way he stared at him sometimes getting lost in his red eyes not being able to pull away because of the effect they had on him.
But now he probably hurt Gilbert to the point where he wanted nothing else to do with him anymore.
Oh Gott, Gilbert had no idea what he had done.
Music played as fingers danced across the keys swiftly and smoothly. A soft melody played that echoed throughout the halls of the house.
A perfect melody one would say. Though it was far from it.
It frustrated him. He just couldn't get it right. It was too soft, too calm. He needed to feel the tense passion that brought his music alive once more. But it wasn't there and this made him worry.
It has been a week since he last spoke to him. It killed him every day that he didn't see his handsome face and it was beginning to destroy him little by little as each day passed.
It affected his music, his lifestyle, his emotions, everything. He wished that he didn't tell him off like that and calmed down to find out why he really did that.
He was stuck now because he had feelings for the crazed man, but he didn't know if he had anything back. There had to be some sort of attraction there, otherwise why would he trick him into kissing him?
But of course he was a coward. Of all the times he confronted Gilbert why couldn't he now?
Roderick tried his best at this point to play, but he just wasn't feeling it. For once in his life he didn't want to. He just wanted to lay in his bed all day depressed and alone to himself.
He stopped playing and sighed deeply. The house was way too quiet.
There were times that he thought he finally had the nerve to go to his house and ring his doorbell. But then at the last moment he backed out.
It was ridiculous how he lived just next door to the man yet he couldn't take those couple of steps to his door. Every day he went over in his head what he would say to him if he were to see him again. It had to be soon that they would bump into each other right? It was just a matter of time. So why was it taking so long?
'Is he even home?' Roderick wondered to himself as he stared at his lap and frowned. 'Maybe he is. But what would I say?'
He wanted so badly just to see his face again. Even if they didn't talk, it didn't matter.
But then he remembered something.
A great idea came to him as he sat up and quickly walked to the kitchen. There on the counter was today's mail. He had read before that his first performance would start in a couple of weeks.
'This would be perfect. I should invite him.' He smiled to himself as he went to grab his coat and headed out the door.
His heart raced as he made his way over to his house and stopped right in front of his door. There was so much he wanted to say, but his main goal was to invite him to his first concert. He knew that he wanted to go because he had said so before. So he thought that this would be the perfect opportunity to try talking again.
And maybe apologize for being so mean and ending their friendship.
After a couple of moments the door opened.
To his shock Gilbert didn't look too disheveled and kept his usual appearance somewhat. He looked a little tired and didn't smile, but how else did he expect him to look?
"Hi." Roderick said as he played with the invitation nervously in his hands.
"Hey." Gilbert responded back staring at him. He was obviously a little shocked at seeing him, so he had to make his point quick.
"I…came here to give you this." Roderick handed him the white envelope and Gilbert took it. He looked down and frowned a little in confusion.
"What's this?"
"It's an invitation." Roderick answered quickly while nervously pushing up his glasses so they sat securely on his nose. "I, um, want you to come to my first show." Now he was becoming more nervous because Gilbert looked at him with a frown on his face.
"Why? I thought you didn't want to see me anymore?"
Roderick felt a pang of guilt and his heart sunk at his words. He was right though. He did say that he didn't want to see him anymore, but he didn't really mean it.
Roderick cleared his throat. "I know. I said that, but I was angry with you. And…I'm sorry."
Gilberts frown disappeared and now he looked at him with earnest.
"I didn't mean what I said, and I would like nothing more for you to come s-see me play." It took more courage to say those words than he thought. But he finally let it out. He then waited patiently for his response.
Gilbert scoffed. "You know you really hurt my feelings when you said you didn't want to be friends anymore…"
Roderick felt worse. He looked down to the ground hiding his regretful expression from him. "Yes, I know.."
But then Gilbert smirked and lifted Roderick's chin up so that he could look him in the eyes. Oh Gott those red eyes. "But just to let you know…I forgive you. I too am sorry for playing that joke on you."
Roderick didn't know whether to be happy or sad. So Gilbert really did it as a joke and it meant nothing to him…
"That's fine. I was overreacting anyways. I should know you by now." Roderick forced a smirk and Gilbert removed his hand from his chin placing it on his own hip.
"Well now that's settled. Yes I will come to your concert thing. When is it?"
"It's on the fifth. The dress attire and information is all in the invitation. So…"
Gilbert stared at him and he didn't know what else to say. So he decided to leave.
"-So I'm going now. I'll see you then." Roderick began walking away as Gilbert kept watching him until he disappeared into his home.
'This guy is so confusing.' Gilbert sighed to himself as his eyes lowered to the invitation. Then he smiled. 'But… I wish he knew that I wouldn't miss this for the world.'
Next chapter is going to be very interesting, if you know what I mean? ::Wink wink:: Okay so review please! Thanks!