Weeks passed without incident, it was becoming much easier to be without his mask. He and Naruto had even begun their collaboration project. Naruto even had an additional idea, he would sketch a bit, little details on his own half of the picture. Gaara allowed him this, and days into it, it was coming along, about 1/4 of the way done.
And then, one day quite suddenly, it all changed. They were all talking, laughing, and hanging out as had become normal. Then though, Gaara's face became smooth, his eyes blank, and his music slightly louder. No one but Shikamaru noticed the change as he simply fell from conversation. He sat there, silently, listening to Someday by Crossfade.
It just hit him, as it did, a wave of insurmountable anguish. For what though, he knew not. It was as though he could feel himself slipping away, too close to being truly happy, so it must simply be false. Something terrible must be on the verge of happening, right? It had every other time, so why not now? Why not now, when everything was going his way, going as he wanted. He muttered something to them, something inconspicuous, and he left the table, absently throwing away his tray, his mind elsewhere completely.

The only one that noticed again, was Shikamaru. His eyes followed his boyfriend, he knew he couldn't ask him while they sat together with the others, but maybe he could follow him? He glanced at his friends then back to Gaara who had just exited the cafeteria. He told his friends he would catch up with them later and set off after the red-head.

He walked with his hands in his pockets, his head down mostly, his thoughts foggy. He only knew he wanted to do something, something he hadn't in a while. Anything to stop this pain. Even if it meant jeopardizing what he now had. He didn't care, he was beyond it, he just wanted it all to stop. He wanted, for some reason, for it to go back as it was. Because then, he was safe, he was hidden from the world. They didn't see, they couldn't, and so he was fine. But this..., this shedding his mask for Shikamaru, perhaps it wasn't a good idea. He had no idea really how to function in their world. He was really solitary, artful, a loner definitely. So he wasn't sure where he was going anymore, that was for sure. He just wanted that familiarity back. That was what he had before he shed his mask. Yes..., he had been broken and breaking, but there was a safeness in that. There were no surprises. There was only how he felt, no one else need be concerned.
Until, he met Shikamaru. It was with him that everything began to slowly change. That man had seen something in him, and Gaara had felt something new.

His heart beat erratically, his breath came in gasps, he stopped against a brick wall of a convenience store.
Wh-what had happened?

He stared at nothing for a few moments, and then he remembered. It was slightly chilly, he had only a thin long sleeved fishnet shirt covering his arms, his regular t-shirt only a short sleeve.
Walking into the brightly lit store, he browsed the isles of candy, eventually coming to the cold beverages. His eyes scanned the shelves, searching, but for what he was unsure.
Happy? by Mudvayne began to play as his eyes landed on them. Unleaded Monster. Caffeine free, it read. There was no warning about "consume responsibly" or "limit 3 cans a day". He smiled, but it was a ghost of his real smile. He grabbed as many as he could carry, which was four or so, then set them on the counter, telling the clerk he would be right back, grabbing another set. He paid, and exited the store something akin to happy. He had monster, and plenty of it. He could drink it all, and nothing terrible would really happen, and even if it did, so what? Wasn't that what he wanted?

He fished one out of his two bags and popped the tab, inhaling that wonderful scent of monster. One of the greatest in all the world. He took a large gulp of it. It tasted the same as a normal green, but perhaps less sweet? Good nonetheless. He felt..., better, but that pit was still there, it felt as though he was standing at it's precipice. Just one step would send him over the edge and into the bottomless nothing.
Gaara searched his mind as he walked, trying to find what had triggered this. But he came up with nothing. Even as he drank his second monster, he came up with nothing that could have provoked this sudden downward spiral. He was back in his dorm room when he realized he knew the answer, he always had.
He was borderline happy, happy, something he had not been since before he first acquired his mask. And so..., in fear of it all being taken from him, he sought to take it from himself. He sought to end it before it could be taken. To his mind, that made sense...
He downed the second and was more than halfway through his third when Shikamaru found him.
Sitting on the floor, back pressed against his bed, monsters under the bed and the one limply in one hand, the other hand holding his head as he gazed at nothing. His mask battled to control his features. What Shikamaru must have seen..., must have been frightening, regardless, he sat beside him and wrapped him in his arms, drawing the sleder, pale boy to his chest and holding him tightly. No words were spoken, but Gaara let himself be held, still clutching his monster can, his hand fell from his head to sit limply in his lap.
It was all so very clearly falling apart right in front of him, and yet, Shikamaru was standing by him...