He must have fallen asleep. He looked around, his can was gone, as was Shikamaru. And, he was laying in his bed, a blanket a top him. He sat up, glancing around again. Shikamaru was definetely gone. He reached under the bed and grabbed another can. He opened it and downed a few swallows before getting up to dress. He did it mechanically, his mind wandering. He had no idea how Shikamaru must feel, no idea how he should carry on. It was a very good thing he had no classes that day. His mind was a scrambled mess.
His head fell into his hands as tears welled in his eyes. Before..., gods before, he had kept it all locked away. He was safe as long as he wore his mask and felt nothing. But now, now that he had begun to shed it, all those walls built had come crumbling down. His mind was an utter mess. The monster helped steady him, but he was just so scattered... As soon as he was sure no tears would fall on to his work, he found his sketch book and began a new sketch.
He put his earbuds in and turned is iPod on to shuffle so even if Shikamaru were to return, he would not be disturbed. This was something he had needed to do for a while now. A drawing to put it all in perspective.
As One Bedroom by Yellowcard began to play somewhat loudly, he began to sketch a new picture.
Slowly, the picture came together. It was broken into at least a dozen smaller pictures which depicted a larger picture all together. Half of the smaller pictures depicted the teen boy Gaara usually drew, in various stages of upset, sometimes masked, sometimes falling apart, other times so very clearly torn. The other half showed the same teen boy but when he was happy, sometimes with another male or a few others, one even had a picture of two of them kissing.
The large picture showed the boy on a larger scale, the torn half showed him as that, a mask in place. The happy half showed a smile, small though it was, it was there and the shading of his eyes told it was very joyous.
He sat back and gazed at his picture. Like always. Yet another though, he would likely show no one.
Taking another drink of his monster, his eyes skimmed through the various smaller pictures he had drawn.
Just wanting to be rid of his mask wasn't enough. He had to do it. To stop hiding completely. To let the world see him for who he really is. Let all pretense drop away, and be confident, like his is in art. To not back down. Be bold. Be open. Not be afraid.
He had Shikamaru, he had Naruto, and soon, if he kept trying, he would have other friends.
Downing the rest of the can, he hurried to shower and dress. He dressed in something that made him feel quite good about himself, a pair of dark red rust overdyed skinnies and a black heartless shirt, both items of clothing clinging rather nicely to him, and his hair messily and wetly spiked. He flashed a grin at himself in the mirror. He would put away his mask forever.
He put his earbuds back in and cranked up Обречённые(Doomed) by Tracktor Bowling before leaving to find Shikamaru. He had texted him before getting in the shower and learned he was on campus with Naruto and friends. They would be under the giant tree, many students liked to congregate there.
Grabbing another can, he left the room. He found them like he knew he would. Everybody As The One by Louna began to play as he walked over to them. Steeling his courage even more. Shikamaru sat with his back up against the tree, the others sitting or laying a few feet from one another. Gaara walked through them in the small space there was, Shikamaru greeted him with a "Hey" but Gaara smiled and leaned down, planting a very soft kiss upon his tanned lips. Shikamaru looked about as shocked as everyone else sounded judging by the gasps and the whistles. When he pulled away and plopped down next to him, Shikamaru asked him why.
Gaara responded that he was done. He was who he was, and that meant no more hiding. No matter what. Shikamaru grinned and Gaara smiled, they kissed one more time, Naruto laughing and pointing, Kiba whistling, and Choji munching his chips with a grin.
He had shed his mask for good. Being with Shikamaru so openly..., it felt right. Friends around them. This was the life he had been missing. No more. They came apart and seafoam green eyes met gray, emotion swirling in both as they smiled at each other, they held hands as they sat there, talking to their friends. It was a big step, but one they would be taking together.