There aren't really words to explain just how relieved I was to hear that Pony was going to be alright. Sitting in that waiting room and waiting for the doctor to come out and deliver my kid brother's fate was a bit nerve-wracking, to be honest, especially when I'm the reason that it happened. There's no way I can even begin to forgive myself for forgetting to pick Pony up, and I doubt that Darry and the rest of the gang will, either. I always told myself that I was stupid for failing school and never seeing myself doing anything other than pumping gas, but now I believed it, too.

Steve was the only one who didn't seem like he wanted to bash my head in. Whether it was because he was my best friend or it was because he didn't like Ponyboy all that much, I didn't know, and either way I was grateful that at least someone still stuck up for me.

There were too many mixed emotions that night. One moment I was happy, and the next not even words could explain. When Cherry kissed me, I wanted to shout from the rooftops and tell her that I loved her, no matter how sappy that sounds. I would have done it, too, had there not been Socs milling around. Then I find Ponyboy lying the the middle of the night, bleeding out on the sidewalk, and I was too stunned to speak before I started kicking myself for being so stupid. Now everyone was mad and I couldn't tell whether to be angry or sad. Probably both.

Everyone but Steve and I left when the doctor came out to deliver the news about Pony. I wanted to wait to see Pony, and Steve's bored expression told me clearly that the only reason he was still here was because I was. He didn't give a damn about my kid brother, and it has always kind of upset me ever since he told me, which was about five minutes after Steve met him. The two of them never got along - kind of like Darry and Pony.

Since it was pretty close to midnight, there weren't many people wandering about the hospital, and it took about an hour till a doctor came strolling into the waiting room and saw Steve and I still there.

"I'm sorry, he can't have any visitors now. He needs to rest," the doctor said when I asked if there was any chance I could see Ponyboy, and then he walked away. I turned back to Steve, and when he met my eyes and frowned, I knew I looked sadder than anything.

"C'mon, buddy, let's get you home." Steve stood and made his way towards the glass front doors, and I loped behind him, disheartened.

Two-Bit had taken his car, obviously, and Pony, Courtney, and Darry left in the truck. Steve and I had no other option but to walk. I turned to the sidewalk and started in the direction of my house. I knew the route well from having to go to and from the hospital because of me or one of the gang getting hurt. Steve followed beside me.

"Don't beat yourself up about it, Soda," Steve said, nudging my shoulder with his. I tried not to wince when pain tingled in my rib. "It ain't your fault."

"Yeah it is, man," I sighed, and then turned the collar of my shirt up to block out some of the cold air. "It's all my damn fault. Pony was right about me not being dumb. I'm not dumb. I'm a fucking idiot." I kicked at the ground and a few rocks flew into the street.

Steve glanced at me from the side of his eye. "You're not an idiot, man. It's an honest mistake. It could'a happened to any one of us."

"No it wouldn't've!" I half shouted. "You kept your cool when you got Kristy, didn't ya? Darry doesn't got no one, but he'd sure keep his head straight if he did. I get one damn girl to kiss me and look what happens!"

"I'm not tryin' to justify what ya did, Soda, but if it's anyone's fault it's Cherry's," Steve said. "If that broad didn't kiss ya Pony'd be alright."

I twisted around suddenly to face Steve. He stopped walking and turned to look at me.

"You don't get it, Steve!" I said, my voice rising immediately to a shout. "It's not Cherry's fault! It's mine! I'mthe reason Pony was jumped. I'm the reason he almost died tonight. I'mthe reason any of this is happening right now!"

Steve stared at me for a moment with wide, pale green eyes, but a second later they narrowed into slits.

"Man, I'm just tryin' to help you feel better about it, okay? I feel just as bad as you do about Pony and-"

"The hell you do!" I interrupted. "You don't give a Yankee dime about my kid brother! You told me so that day back in seventh grade, and you haven't cared since!"

I could see the blood rising into Steve's face and his cheeks darkened. "Pony's part of the gang. Of course I care about him!"

"Yeah, he's part of the gang, but you still don't care! You're just worried that we'd sulk around all the time if he had died. That's all you care about!"

I didn't see Steve's fist coming at my face, but I sure did feel it when it made contact. The impact knocked my down into the street. I yelped, but it was because of the pain immediately throbbing through my chest more than the aching in my jaw. I grabbed my jaw and looked up at Steve. His face was now the same dark color his cheeks had been. The muscles in his arms flexed and his hands balled back into fists, as if he were to knock me back down if I decided to get up to retaliate.

"You're right," Steve growled in a low voice. "I've never been all that fond of Ponyboy, but he is part of the gang. No matter what bumps he and I haven't smoothed over yet and no matter how badly he annoys me sometimes, it doesn't mean I want him dead. We stick up for each other, Soda. It doesn't matter what happened before tonight, but through thick and thin, the gang is the closest thing any of us have to a family. I thought you knew that."

And then Steve held his hand out. I looked at him as if he were nuts, but he only looked back at me with a hard, straight face, waiting for me to grab his hand.

"We're family, Soda. We're always there for each other."

I hoped the tears brimming in my eyes were from my aching rib, but they weren't. Maybe the dark of the night would conceal them so that Steve wouldn't see, but with my luck, that wasn't likely. So, instead of looking like a drunken idiot in the middle of the road, I grasped Steve's hand and he pulled me to my feet.

The moonlight overhead shined down on the both of us, and I could see something slip out of Steve's eye and shimmer down his cheek. Normally, I would have laughed at the sight of one of the toughest greasers around crying, but I could feel tears slide down my face and all I could do was smile.

Steve opened his mouth to say something, but all that came out was a gentle "Ooof" as I slammed into him, wrapping my arms tightly around his torso. He patted my back awkwardly for a moment, but he eventually rested his arms around my shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Steve," I mumbled against his shoulder, not even trying to hold back my tears. "You're right. No matter what happens, we're family."

'Yeah, yeah, stop your blubberin'," Steve chuckled, and slid his arms off my shoulders. I let go of him, cleared my throat, and stood up as straight as I could. Steve looked at me with a goofy grin, then nodded his head towards the sidewalk.

"We should get goin'," he muttered. "It's gettin' cold." I nodded curtly and slipped my hands deeply into my jean pockets, and the two of us continued walking back home as if nothing had even happened.