Trust In Me
Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter.
A/N: Thank you so much for the response to the last chapter! I'm glad you are still enjoying this story, despite the long gap between the last update! After making you all wait so long, I had to post this chapter much quicker, hope you enjoy :) Thank you everyone who has taken the time to read, review and add this story to your alerts, here's the next chapter :)
Chapter 7
The rest of Harry's detentions with Professor Snape continued in a similar manner to the first, a comfortable silence falling over the pair as Harry completed his homework and Snape completed his marking. Occasionally, he would sigh as he marked a particularly awful piece of work. By the time Harry's last detention rolled around, he felt more at ease in the Potions Professor's presence, and when Snape let out yet another sigh, he couldn't resist commenting.
"That bad Professor?" Harry asked jokingly, before wondering if interrupting Snape while he was working wasn't the best idea he had ever had. Severus considered the boy in front of him, before deciding he could use a break from marking this current atrocity, even if that meant making idle chit chat with Potter.
"Worse. Not to speak ill of one of my Slytherins, but after 5 years of teaching Mr Goyle, I had hoped that something of relevance had gone into his thick skull." Severus replied tiredly. Harry surprised both of them by chuckling slightly in response, earning a smirk from Severus. "Something funny Potter?"
"Sorry Professor, I just never thought I would hear you say anything against one of your Slytherins, normally they can do no wrong." Harry replied honestly. Severus wondered how much Albus had told the boy about the Order, and his role within it. Judging by the boy's anger when he first came to Headquarters, he was willing to bet he'd not been told a lot.
"Mr Potter, what do you know of my role within the Order?" Severus asked. Surprised, Harry gaped at him, not expecting the conversation to take this turn.
"I know you're a spy for Vo-" He began.
"Don't say that name Potter!" Severus snarled, resisting the urge to clutch the mark that tarnished his arm.
"Sorry Professor. I know you're a spy for You-Know-Who." Harry said, trying his best not to further antagonise Snape, not now it seemed he might finally get some answers.
"I am Potter. But do you quite know what that entails? What I have to do to maintain my position at the Dark Lord's side?" Harry shook his head, words failing him for the moment. "I won't disgust you with the details. But know this Potter, in order to be of use to the Headmaster, and the rest of the Order, I have to convince the Dark Lord, and all of his followers of my loyalty to their cause. You were there the night he returned Potter, you recognised some of the Death Eaters who returned to his side, didn't you?" Severus asked expectantly, waiting for Harry's response. Unable to speak, Harry nodded. Remembering what happened that night, and who was there, was easy for Harry; it had been haunting him ever since it happened. "Do you see Potter? I not only have to fool the Dark Lord and his followers in their presence, but here, in the Castle, where I teach their children."
"Why are you telling me this Professor?" Harry asked, finally finding his voice.
"I will admit that these past few weeks Mr Potter, I have found your presence no longer irritates me to the point of insanity. You have even proved the existence of your brain by managing to produce an adequate Draught of Peace." Severus paused, looking pained at having said something complementary about Harry Potter. "However, despite this new found tolerance, in order to maintain my cover and be of use to the Order, I have to continue to be seen to despise your presence in my classroom. Do you understand?" Harry did. Wordlessly, he nodded. "Very well. I assume from your insufferable need to engage in conversation you have finished your work?"
"Yes Professor."
"Then you may go."
The weekend passed far too quickly for Harry's liking, and before he knew it, it was time for another week of holding his temper around Umbridge. This proved a hard task, as the newly appointed High Inquisitor took it upon herself to inspect the other teachers. She wasn't in History of Magic, or Potions, which was lucky, as Harry thought he would have had a hard time controlling his temper when dealing with Umbridge and Professor Snape. Although he understood now why the Potions Professor had to treat him so harshly, he still didn't like being ridiculed, especially in front of Malfoy and his drones. Working extra hard on his Strengthening Solution, Snape's slight nod when Harry handed in his potion told him he had brewed another 'adequate potion.' Divination was worse than usual, as Umbridge decided to grace the Fifth Years with her presence while she observed Trelawney. This, followed by a double Defence Against the Dark Arts lesson with the devil herself, immediately soured Harry's mood.
He even managed to land himself another detention, during Umbridge's inspection of Professor Grubbly-Plank the following day.
"Well, you seem to know what you're doing, at any rate," Umbridge said, ticking her clipboard. Harry couldn't help but worry about the emphasis she had placed on 'you,' and what this would mean for Hagrid when he returned. He felt more dread when Umbridge directed her next question to Goyle. "Now, I hear there have been injuries in this class?" Goyle grinned, and Harry had to fight the urge to smack the stupid grin off his stupid face.
"That was me. I was slashed by a Hippogriff." Malfoy said, all too eager to answer the question and cast Hagrid in a bad light. Harry couldn't help himself.
"Only because he was too stupid to listen to what Hagrid told him to do," Harry angrily interrupted. As Umbridge turned her head in Harry's direction, Ron and Hermione groaned, knowing what was coming.
"Another night's detention, I think Mr Potter. Clearly Professor Snape's efforts have failed to teach you some respect," Umbridge said softly. "Well, thank you very much, Professor Grubbly-Plank, I think that's all I need here. You will be receiving the results of your inspection within ten days."
That night, Harry found himself in Umbridge's office again. He had forgotten just how much blood his hand could bleed, but with each movement of the quill, more blood oozed from the wound. Harry wondered how long Umbridge would keep him tonight, and whether Professor Snape had heard about him earning himself another detention. Harry hoped he had, he could really do with some Murtlap Essence tonight. Harry could feel Umbridge's eyes on him as her lies carved into his hand. He had no idea of the time, but hoped it was nearly over. He was so tired. It was just approaching 11 o'clock when it happened. There was a knock on Umbridge's door. Panicked, Umbridge snatched the quill from Harry's hand. Although she knew there was nothing the staff at Hogwarts could do to remove her from the castle, she did not particularly want Cornelius finding out about her chosen method of punishment.
"Come in."
Severus Snape entered her office. He glanced at Harry and understanding briefly flashed across his face, before he schooled his face into an emotionless canvas.
"Mr Potter was just finishing his detention. I do hope you've learned your lesson Mr Potter." Umbridge said, her relief that it was Severus Snape who had entered her office evident. He was the only member of staff other than herself who did not think the sun shone out of the Potter brat's backside.
"I've taught him for 5 years Dolores, I doubt he has. Next time he misbehaves, send him my way, I've been searching for a test subject for one of my potions." Severus said, his dislike for the woman in front of him well hidden. Harry flushed; even though he was sure Snape was only saying this for Umbridge's benefit, it was not a nice thought. With a wave of her hand, Umbridge dismissed Harry; he rose to his feet quickly, desperate to escape her company before she changed her mind. "Before you head back to Gryffindor Tower Mr Potter, we might as well discuss your continuing inability to produce an OWL worthy assignment; wait for me outside." Nodding, Harry exited the office, leaving Snape and Umbridge alone.
"So Severus, what is it I can do for you?" Dolores asked, curious as to why the solitary Potions Professor had sought her out.
"I just wanted to confirm the time of your inspection Dolores, that way I can prepare a plan for you." Severus responded, hoping to cut this conversation short.
"Ah yes, well…"
Harry waited impatiently outside Umbridge's office. Finally, after what felt like forever, but in reality was only 5 minutes, Professor Snape emerged.
"Follow me Potter." Severus said, before leading Harry through the Castle, back towards his office. Once they were both inside, he closed the door and stood in front of Harry, crossing his arms. Harry squirmed uncomfortably, refusing to meet Snape's eye.
"Tell me Mr Potter, what part of control your temper do you not understand?" Severus asked quietly, furious at the boy's inability to control his tongue. Just like his father. Severus thought bitterly. "I know Professor McGonagall has spoken to you about this before. How do you expect us to help you if you will not help yourself?" Feeling ashamed, Harry still couldn't bring himself to look Snape in the eye; he couldn't bring himself to see the disappointment he knew was there. These last few weeks, the pair had come to a tentative understanding, and Harry could not help but feel that he had blown it.
"I'm sorry Professor." Harry said sincerely. "She just makes me so angry, and I can't stop myself. Everyone thinks I'm lying about what happened that night, they think I'm lying about Cedric, and Volde-!"
"Don't say that name!" Severus shouted, his Dark Mark twinging.
"I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled. "I don't care! It doesn't matter what I call him, Voldemort, You-Know-Who, the Dark Lord, none of that matters, Cedric Diggory will still be dead! Everyone thinks I'm crazy but that doesn't matter because Cedric is dead!" Harry shouted, ignoring the few tears that had started pouring down his cheeks. Severus was shocked, he didn't know what to do. He knew from listening to Albus, Molly and the Mutt that Harry had yet to come to terms with the events of that night. The things this boy had been through would be enough to make a grown man crumble; it's no wonder the boy was starting to crack.
"Potter, calm down."
"Don't tell me to calm down! Cedric is dead and it's all my fault!" Harry cried, giving into his feelings of guilt and grief that had plagued him ever since that fateful night. Severus Snape didn't know what to do, so he remained silent, letting the boy get it all off his chest. "I told him to take the cup with me, Professor. It's my fault he's dead." With this admission, Harry finally allowed himself to grieve for his friend, and the innocence that was lost the night his worst nightmare returned. For a moment, Severus did not know what to do; he had never been one to offer comfort and soothing words. However, he had to do something, Potter was falling apart in front of him.
"Harry, listen to me," Severus began, waiting until he had his full attention before continuing. "Cedric Diggory's death was not your fault. The blame lies solely with the Dark Lord and Pettigrew. They are responsible for this, not you." Harry looked at him sadly, tears still streaming down his cheeks.
"But it's my fault Pettigrew was there, he escaped because I didn't stop him the night I met Sirius!"
"Harry, no. Pettigrew is completely responsible for his actions, he made the choice to betray your parents, he made the choice to join the Dark Lord, and he made the choice to kill Cedric Diggory."
"But if I –"
"No Harry, none of this was your fault." Severus said firmly, grasping the boy's shoulders, willing him to believe and let go of his misplaced guilt. Harry looked at his Potions Professor, before launching himself forward, clutching onto Snape as he sobbed. Severus stiffened at this unexpected gesture from the child he used to despise, before slowly bringing his arms up to hold Harry, silently offering him the comfort he desperately needed.
A/N: (again) So here's the latest chapter! Hope the characters weren't too OOC, I felt Harry needed to have the chance to come to terms with what had happened in the graveyard, and grieve for Cedric, Severus was just in the wrong place at the wrong time :L Next chapter, Hermione approaches Harry with the idea of teaching Defence the Dark Arts, and Severus pays Sirius a visit. Feel free to let me know what you thought of this chapter, I love hearing from you all