Chapter 8

"So what do you guys think?" Simon asked as he gazed at the crew gathered around the dining room table.

"Doc that plans more feng-le than most a the Captain's plans and that's sayin somethin." Jayne remarked.

"Ya know I have a feelin if I could remember some any of my former plans I'd be offended." Mal quipped.

"No ya wouldn't, trust me most a yer plans are crazier than the moonbrain use ta be." Jayne countered earning him a scathing look from River.

"You think this medicine is the only way to help the Captain?" Zoe asked.

"Honestly I don't know. It's possible that the swelling will go down on its own, but the scan I took this morning doesn't show any improvement. This medicine might be the one thing that will help his brain fully heal." Simon answered.

Mal looked worried for a second and then forced his face into a blank nonchalant look.

"I don't wanna be putting ya'll in danger fer me. If this is gonna get anybody hurt we shouldn't do it." Mal said seriously.

"How come if he can't remember nothin he still talks just like he used ta?" Jayne asked and the rest of the crew smiled.

"He does still have that whole noble self sacrificing thing goin on doesn't he?" Kaylee said and giggled.

"Hello? Sitting right here!" Mal exclaimed but laughed good naturedly.

"Seriously do you think it'll work?" Simon asked and the laughter cut off abruptly.

"I think we can pull it off, but it ain't gonna be easy. Plus Helios is pretty far away there ain't anywhere closer ta get this medicine?" Zoe asked.

"Helios has the only medical research facility I'm aware of that will carry the drug for sure. Their entire facility is almost entirely centered around neuroscience and especially brain trauma. It's possible we could find it closer, but do we really want to break into a place that we aren't certain has the drugs?" Simon pointed out.

Zoe nodded in agreement with Simon and then said, "You sure you wanna put River in that situation? Most a the risk'll be on her. Plus remember last time Jayne had to act? It weren't pretty."

"Hey I'm a great actor! But seriously shouldn't it be you and River goin' in? Seems like she do a lot better at playin the part than I would." Jayne reasoned.

"True but we'll need River's reading abilities to get inside and we'll need someone to bypass the security locks on the lab doors." Simon explained.

"Plus I know she'll insist on going anyway." Simon added and gave River a wry smile.

"Yes she is going to insist on going." River replied.

"Kay I get why she's gotta go, but why can't you go with her? It makes more sense that way." Jayne pointed out.

"I know but someone has to watch her back while she's busy working on getting into the lab and I trust you with a gun more than I trust myself. If there's trouble with guards, I'd rather you be there watching out for her than me. I'm going to be here giving River instructions over the ear piece she'll be wearing, Zoe can't go because she's going to have to be ready to pilot Serenity quickly and Mal isn't well enough to be working on anything yet." Simon explained honestly.

"So are we actually gonna do this?" Kaylee asked.

The crew exchanged glances around the table and nodded at each other.

"Guess so." Zoe confirmed. "River you wanna set a course for Helios." Zoe ordered the pilot.

River was up and headed towards the bridge before Zoe had even finished the sentence. She slid back into her seat beside Mal only a few minutes later, the fastest and safest route possible to Helios programmed in to the nav. system.

They spent the next three hours laying out the details of the plan, for it to work they would all have a separate job to do, but they had to be done with perfect timing or the plan would fail. They finally decided to call it a night when both Kaylee and River fell asleep at the table, their heads resting on their arms in almost identical positions. Simon gazed lovingly at how sweet Kaylee looked and noticed Mal giving River almost the same expression.

Simon picked Kaylee up to take her to their bunk. "I'll come back and get River in a minute." He called over his shoulder as he headed out the door with Kaylee.

"I got her Doc. No need for ya ta carry em both." Mal assured him and picked River up easily.

"Thanks." Simon smiled as he saw the Captain give River another tender look as he stared down at her peaceful expression.

It definitely looks like he's feeling something for her and he can't even remember her right now. Simon thought gladly.

He went to sleep that night feeling more hopeful for River's future than he had since she'd been brutalized in the woods.

The next morning however didn't begin nearly as well as the previous night had ended. It started out with Kaylee waking him from a dead sleep by smacking him in the back of the head.

"Simon Tam how could you do that?" Kaylee shouted.

"Huh wha-?" Simon grumbled still half asleep as he rubbed the back of his head.

"I don't know what you did to Inara but you better go and fix it. She's been cryin in her shuttle since last night and she told me it was on account a what you said to her! You ain't got the right ta be gettin in Inara's business and makin her cry!" Kaylee continued to yell.

"Kaylee." Simon said trying to explain himself.

"I always knew you were bad at talkin ta me sometimes, but I just figured it was cause ya were nervous cause ya liked me."

"Kaylee."

"But now I see yer just good at makin every girl on the ship cry!"

"KAYLEE!" Simon shouted finally getting her to quiet down.

"What?" She yelled in return.

"I didn't say anything mean to Inara. I just told her the truth and I think I was really nice about it. I'm sorry she's upset but I really don't think it's me she's upset at."

"What da ya mean?" Kaylee asked sounding a tiny bit calmer.

Simon sighed and tried to figure out how best to explain the situation.

"Alright I was going to let River tell you, but I guess I'd better so you'll stop yelling at me. River has feelings for Mal, strong feelings. She's in love with him. She didn't come right out and say it, but I have a feeling Mal maybe feeling the same thing about her."

Kaylee stared at him with an opened mouth look of shock on her face.

"All I said to Inara was that the two of them were possibly starting something. That's when Inara started yelling at me. She said that Mal would never want a relationship with River and that the only woman he had feelings for on board was her."

"So why is she cryin like she is? If she really believes that she wouldn't be this upset."

"When she started yelling at me I told her that I didn't think it was going to happen between her and Mal."

"Simon! That ain't nice you don't know maybe her and the Captain were gonna start something…" Kaylee argued.

"When Kaylee? How long have you watched them almost be together but never quite get there? Even with all the times I messed up and said or did the wrong thing we still managed to get together. Do you think they should both be alone for the rest of their lives waiting to see if maybe someday something will happen?" Simon replied feeling like he was having the exact same argument he'd had the night before.

Kaylee stopped and thought for a bit, her face losing the angry red glare it'd had before.

"Do ya think the Captain really wants ta be with River?" She asked curiously.

"I don't know for sure. I do know he was looking at her like he wanted her last night, but now with the amnesia I'm worried maybe he's feeling things he wasn't before. But haven't you noticed how close they've gotten in the last few months, maybe there is something there."

Kaylee's face broke into a wide bright grin and she threw her arms around Simon.

"River and the Captain, that's just so shiny!" She squealed. "I'm sorry I yelled at you."

"That's ok, I'm sorry I made Inara cry." Simon replied sincerely.

Kaylee's face fell at the mention of her friend. "Oh poor Inara, no wonder why she's so upset. Maybe I should go talk to her again and try ta make her feel better."

"I'm sure if anyone can make her feel better it would be you. I really didn't mean to hurt her, I just thought she should see the reality of the situation." Simon muttered regretfully.

"You don't need ta apologize ai-ren, now that ya explained ta me what happened I think maybe you're right. The Captain and Inara both deserve to find someone and they don't seem ta be able ta do that with each other. River deserves that too, so if she and the Captain can be happy together I think they should be." Kaylee replied with her usual supply of cheeriness and exuberance.

She gave Simon another warm smile and a long deep kiss as way of apology for yelling at him.

"Be back later." She said and left to comfort Inara.

She came bounding back into the room less than a second later and gave Simon a confused look.

"How come you ain't havin a heart attack about your little sis wantin the Captain? Kinda thought the day River wanted a man was the day you'd voluntarily take a walk in the Black without a suit." Kaylee giggled.

"Tzao-gao! Am I really that neurotic about my sister? Inara and River both figured I'd have a fit too. I admit it threw me off for a second, but I want River to be happy. If Mal makes her happy then I'm glad. Although once he gets his memory back I'll be sure to have a talk with him about all the ways I could kill him and make it look like an accident if he ever hurts her." Simon promised.

"That sounds more like the Simon I know. You're such a good big brother." She assured him and gave him another kiss before running from the room again.

"Doc how come me an River can't switch parts, wouldn't it work just the same?" Jayne complained from across the cargo bay where he sat with River rehearsing their part in the heist.

"Let you play the part of the neurosurgeon? Hmm let me think on that one for a second Jayne. Alright I though it over and no, you can't switch parts with River." Simon answered sarcastically.

"But if someone's gonna be playin a crazy person shouldn't it be the actual crazy person?" Jayne whined.

River gave him an annoyed look and kicked him in the butt while he was looking at Simon.

"Hey!" Jayne complained.

River tried to stay angry with him but truthfully she liked that Jayne wasn't treating her like glass. Everyone else had been tiptoeing around her since they'd returned from the woods and she was getting tired of it. Jayne was the only person who was still treating her like he had before.

"Jayne do I really have to explain it again? River has to be the doctor because she's going to read the people at the clinic. Don't you think it will look strange for the mental patient to be giving the doctor instructions?" Simon pointed out.

Jayne grumbled and looked annoyed but didn't argue any further.

"So ya gonna teach me how ta act crazy er what?" He muttered to River.

Simon smirked and headed to the infirmary, leaving the two of them to work things out on their own. He found Mal sitting in the infirmary when he arrived.

"Mal is everything alright? Is your breathing getting worse?" Simon questioned.

"Nah I'm feelin ok, physically anyways. Still kinda worn out but doin pretty good." Mal said uncomfortably, shifting anxiously in his seat.

"Well what can I help you with? Unless you're just here because you have the driving need to watch me take inventory."

"I kinda um wanted ta talk to ya bout yer sister." Mal stammered looking everywhere around the room besides Simon.

"I thought maybe this conversation was coming, but honestly I kind of figured you'd wait until you got your memory back." Simon commented making Mal suddenly look at him.

"You know bout me and yer sister?"

"Well I know that she's in love with you, I had a sneaking suspicion that maybe the feeling was mutual." Simon said with a smirk.

"Are you ok with that? River told me bout yer family and the Academy and everything the other night. I kinda figured since yer Dad ain't in the picture no more, if I was gonna ask someone fer permission to court her it'd be you."

"Thank you, I appreciate the fact that you would come to me first. But do you really think it's a good idea beginning a relationship when you can't remember anything?" Simon asked voicing the concern he'd had for days.

"No I don't think it'd be right. That's why me and River already decided not to start nothin' till after I got my memory back." Mal agreed.

"You did?" Simon blurted, surprised that they had already discussed the situation.

"Yep we think it'll be better to hold off until we can both go into it knowing everything."

"What if you get your memory back and decide that this isn't something you really wanted? I don't want to see my sister get hurt."

"I already promised yer sister that ain't gonna happen. She's pretty damn sure the only thing keepin me from bein with her before was my own stubborn sense of morality. Well I figure I've taken care a that by coming to you first and making sure it's what River really wants."

"I'd guess you did just that." Simon replied.

He and Mal stood in silence while Simon began to take inventory of his supplies. After a few minutes Simon cleared his throat and turned away from the cupboard he was working on to look at Mal.

"Mal has River told you what happened to her out in the woods?"

"Yeah she did, the same night we talked about us. I'm real sorry that happened to her, sorry I didn't stop it from happening to her." Mal said regretfully.

"Don't worry I'm not trying to blame you or anything. Its just I wanted to make sure you knew. I'm not really sure how it has affected River because she won't talk with me about it."

"She seems ta be doin alright, I know I don't know her very well right now, but from what I do know that girl's gotta spine a steel. I think she'll pull through this just fine." Mal said with confidence.

"Trust me I know how tough my sister is but well I'm worried about you and her starting a relationship, sexually I mean." Simon confided quietly, feeling extremely uncomfortable discussing his sister's sex life.

He looked around suddenly and shut the door to the infirmary before continuing.

"River lost her virginity the night she was raped. I don't mean to put any more pressure on you, but I hope you'll keep that in mind if you do begin a relationship with her. She's likely to have some deep emotional scars when it comes to sex because of that."

Mal's face turned red and he looked angry enough to seriously consider putting someone out the airlock.

"I didn't know that it was her first time, I mean maybe I knew before, but… Sorry I don't know what I'm saying. I wish I could remember killin them hun-dans. Whatever I did to em wasn't enough for hurtin her like they did." Mal bellowed angrily.

"I couldn't agree with you more and whatever you did do to them out there I thank you for it." Simon replied sincerely.

Both men sat and stared at each other in silence, each lost in their own regret and anger over what had been done to River. Finally Simon rubbed a hand over his face as if he was trying to wake himself up.

"Well I guess we should probably go check on River and Jayne and make sure they aren't killing each other in the cargo bay. Well I should say make sure River isn't killing Jayne, I really don't think he could take her." Simon joked.

"Hey Doc what do ya think the chances are of this drug gettin' my memory back?" Mal asked suddenly catching Simon off guard.

"The research on it shows that it's having near miraculous results. I'm confident that if you can get a dose of it then it should take the swelling down very quickly. After that we'll just have to wait and see how fast your memory returns."

"And if the swelling goes down it'll come back?" Mal asked wanting more of a guarantee than Simon was willing to give.

"I'm hopeful that it will, but the brain is a tricky thing. Sometimes it can heal itself in strange ways. It may take a long time for your memory to return, or it may happen within a day, it may come back in bits and pieces, or it may return all at once, it might completely return, or just partially return."

"Or it might not come back at all." Mal inserted saying what Simon was unwilling to.

"That's a possibility yes." Simon admitted. "We'll just have to give you the drug and hope for the best. I'm sorry I can't give you anymore of an assurance than that."

Mal nodded his head, but didn't reply as he followed Simon out of the infirmary.

"Hey Mal this will probably be awkward since you don't remember anything, but I think you should speak with Inara about River and your feelings for her." Simon told him suddenly as they walked to the cargo bay.

"The Companion? Why do I need to talk to her? She's barely spoken to me since I woke up. Is there some reason she needs ta know bout my personal life?" Mal asked in confusion.

"You and Inara have had feelings for each other for a long time. Nothings ever come of it and I think these last few months you had moved on, but it would still be kind of you to speak with her yourself before starting something with River." Simon informed him.

"How come me and her never got together if'n we had these feelins for so long? Mal asked curious to find out anything he could about the man he was such a short time ago.

"I would ask her about that just to be clear on things, but my impression of the situation was that you never approved of her job and she wasn't all that thrilled about yours as well. Neither of you seemed willing to change for the other and you couldn't be together without someone changing." Simon explained.

He actually felt proud of himself at the insight he had found into Mal and Inara's problems. Maybe it was only he and Kaylee's relationship that seemed to tie his brain up in knots. Damn well that's not helpful at all. He thought and laughed ironically to himself.

"I'll talk to her then Doc. Thanks for the heads up, although I gotta say havin a conversation with a woman I barely know bout a relationship I never had seems a little strange to me." Mal commented.

"Yeah well even before the amnesia you were a complicated guy." Simon quipped.

Mal smiled and then grimaced a little when he looked in the direction of Inara's shuttle. As he walked to her door he tried to decide what to say to her, but as he was knocking he realized he had no clue how to start the conversation with her.

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A/N- So I know this chapter was kinda long and almost entirely dialogue. I promise the thrilling and highly illegal heroics are coming up soon. If not in the next chapter then the one after that.