Chapter 13

"Cap'n we gotta have one!" Kaylee whined loudly.

"No we don't gotta have one!" He retorted.

"Why not? Give me one good reason." She shot back.

"I'll give you a bunch a reasons; it's a waste of coin, it'll make a mess, you gotta water it and we don't got the water supply to spare, and it's a fire hazard! Plus we just don't need one!"

"Cap'n please?" She begged and gave him a wide eyed innocent look that tugged at his heart.

"Please bao-bei?" Suddenly there was River right next to Kaylee giving him the same wide eyed look. Where the hell had she come from?

"Now don't you two start using them girlie wiles on me. It ain't fair." Mal whined and began to back away from the dangerous duo.

"Please ai-ren, you don't want us to have to call you Scrooge do you?" River pointed out.

"Hey that ain't nice! I ain't a Scrooge." Mal complained looking hurt.

He stood fuming for a second giving the girls a stern look, but felt his resolve melting with each bat of their eyelashes.

"Fine get yer gorram Christmas tree but if we run outta water and the ship catches on fire and we all die, I get to say I told ya so!" He conceded and stomped away trying to maintain an air of authority, but realizing it was probably hopeless.

From behind him he heard the two girls squeal and begin making decoration ideas.

Mal had to turn and watch as River jumped up and down with Kaylee a bright wide smile gracing her lovely face. It had been nearly five months since she'd been raped and she was getting better everyday. True there had been a great many rocky moments, she'd had a number of episodes and panic attacks and she was stilling having problems being around strangers, but lately the haunted look in her eyes was appearing less and less.

It still amazed Mal how much he loved her. Six months ago he would never have imagined that he and River would be a couple, let alone one as close as they were. River was a constant source of amazement and joy to him. They had yet to make love and not once had it bothered him. He had promised River that he would wait until she was ready and he'd meant it. Lately she'd been hinting around that perhaps she was ready but he wasn't willing to push the issue. She was still having nightmares about the rape and he wasn't going to do anything that might hurt the progress she'd made.

Two days later Mal was regretting giving in on the Christmas tree issue. He and Jayne were both grunting and cursing as they hauled a giant Ever Green into the cargo bay of Serenity.

"So this a good place for it bao-bei?" Mal asked as they dropped the tree next to the weight bench.

River gave him a look that said he was an idiot.

"No we are not having our family Christmas tree next to Jayne's sweaty weight bench. It needs to go up by the couch in the common room." She explained like she was talking to a five year old.

"You want us to haul this heavy ass thing all the way up to the common room?" Jayne grumbled.

"Yes." Came the reply from both River and Kaylee in unison.

Both men sighed in defeat and set about lugging the tree up the stairs, knowing that they would lose this argument in the end anyway.

Everyone was banned from the common room that night as River and Kaylee worked on decorating the tree. Finally they allowed everyone in and proudly showed off their hard work.

"Oh you two did an amazing job!" Inara exclaimed as she took in the tree.

Mal didn't want to admit it, but the tree did look beautiful. The girls had used the twinkle lights from Kaylee's door to light the tree and River had drawn and cut out a number of different pictures that they had strung on bits of wire and hung up as ornaments.

"It does look wonderful." Zoe complimented.

After dinner the entire crew sat around the tree drinking wine and enjoying being in each other's company. River sat curled up in Mal's lap her head resting against his shoulder.

"Do you like the tree ai-ren?" She whispered in his ear.

"Well I hate to admit it, but it was a good idea. Makes it seem like we're a real family." Mal admitted.

"We are a real family." She pointed out like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Okay everybody remember ta get yer presents in town tomorrow, it's Christmas Eve and we're openin presents the next morning." Kaylee instructed as she and Simon headed off to bed.

Jayne followed shortly behind the couple, heading to the cargo bay to work out before bed. Mal sighed and lifted River off of his lap.

"I gotta go make sure we're all locked up fore bed." He told her and headed out of the room.

Zoe and River sat together staring at the tree.

"I'm glad you girls made Mal get a Christmas tree. Seems like the last year's been one tragedy after another, we could all use a little good cheer." Zoe remarked thoughtfully.

"I'm sorry Wash won't be with you to celebrate this Christmas." River replied reading the sad thoughts from Zoe's mind.

"Thank you. So am I. But I don't think Wash would want me to spend Christmas grieving over him."

"No he would want you to be happy." River agreed.

"How are you doing mei-mei? We haven't talked in a while." Zoe asked.

"Better thank you. Some days are harder than others, but you were right when you said it would get easier in time." River paused for a moment before saying, "Can I talk to you about something personal Zoe?"

"Of course you can."

"Mal and I we still haven't been together, in bed I mean. He's been so patient with me, but I'm afraid he's going to grow tired of not having a full relationship." River said sounding anxious.

"Do you think you're ready to take that step with him?"

"Sometimes I do, but other times I'm not sure. I want to be good, you know? I mean I want him to enjoy it and I'm afraid that I may have an episode if we go too far. I would hate to ruin things like that."

Zoe was silent for a few minutes trying to figure out exactly what to tell the younger girl. It occurred to Zoe that River had no one to speak to about sex and it made Zoe feel good that she was comfortable enough to come to her.

"Seems to me River that Mal really really loves you. If you aren't ready to take that step with him I'm sure he's willing to wait until you are. And if you think you're ready, but you have an episode he wouldn't be angry with you. Have you talked to him about this?"

"Yes he said the same things you did, but I'm still not convinced. He's a man isn't sex very important to them?" River asked innocently.

"Well yes it is important to them, but not the most important thing. Your happiness is far more important to Mal than satisfying his sex drive. Don't worry, you'll get there I promise. Just don't pressure yourself to do anything before you're ready. Trust me if you wait until you're sure you'll be glad you did. Sex can be a wonderful amazing thing when it's with the right person and at the right time."

River jumped up from her seat and flung herself into Zoe's arms. Zoe jumped in surprise a little and then returned the hug.

"Thank you Zoe for everything. I don't think I could have gotten through this without you." River whispered.

"Yes you could have, but I'm glad I was here to help you." Zoe replied.

River let go of Zoe and grinned at her. "Guess we should be going to bed, Santa is watching."

Zoe laughed and shook her head. "Guess we better."

The crew spent the majority of the next day shopping for Christmas presents. Everyone seemed excited about exchanging gifts, even Jayne.

River and Kaylee woke up early on Christmas morning and surprised everyone by making breakfast that they had purchased secretly the day before. They had real coffee, pancakes, strawberries, whip cream, real bacon, and fresh milk. The smell of the frying bacon brought everyone from their bunks and into the galley.

"What is all this?" Zoe asked smiling as she took in the spread before her.

"Christmas breakfast." River explained as she handed Zoe a cup of coffee.

Zoe took a sip and closed her eyes savoring the taste of the genuine coffee which they so rarely had.

"How did you girls afford all this?" Zoe asked.

"Been savin for quite a while." Kaylee replied as she expertly flipped pancakes.

"Do I smell bacon?" Jayne asked hopefully as he walked in.

His eyes grew wide and a large smile spread across his face when he saw the food.

"Zhen ta ma jue! Thanks girls!" He replied sincerely and then like Zoe closed his eyes and savored his coffee.

The rest of the crew had similar reactions to the breakfast waiting for them and the meal was one of the most festive they'd had in a long time. After breakfast they moved over to the common room and eagerly waited while Mal was given the job of Santa and passed out the gifts.

They had decided to play secret Santa to save on coin. It was unanimously decided that River and Kaylee should get to open their gifts first since they had planned everything.

Kaylee eagerly ripped the wrapping paper from her gift and squealed with delight at the brand new fully stocked tool box that she found inside.

"Oh this is perfect! Who is it from?" She asked.

Mal raised his hand and smiled at the obvious joy that his gift had brought his mei-mei.

"Thanks Captain, this is so shiny!" She squealed and gave Mal a giant hug.

"Ok now its River's turn." She continued and sat back down.

River opened her present more slowly than Kaylee had, but squealed in delight just like the mechanic had when she saw her gift.

"I know this is from Simon he's the only one who would have known." River said with a huge grin.

"What is it?" Kaylee asked impatiently.

River pulled a small box out of the bigger box and held it up so everyone could see. It appeared to be a music disk but everyone gave her a blank look at the name of the band.

"The Beatles? What is it sounds of bugs or somethin?" Jayne asked.

"No. They are an Earth-that-was band. River has always loved them ever since she was a little girl." Simon explained.

"Thank you Simon. It's perfect." River told him and gave her brother a tight hug.

"I'm glad you like it mei-mei. It's not just all the Beatles stuff either, some of their solo songs are on their as well." He explained.

Inara and Zoe were picked next to open their gifts, the men deciding that they should be gentlemen and let the women go first.

Inara was delighted with Kaylee's gift to her. It was a beginner's guide to shuttle maintenance and repair.

"Thank you mei-mei. I'll feel much safer now taking my shuttle out away from Serenity and the brilliant mechanic we have here." Inara said gracefully.

River waited anxiously as Zoe opened her present. She hoped that it would be well received and not make the first mate upset.

Zoe opened the gift and stared at it for a long time with no emotion on her face. Finally she stood up and pulled River into her arms, not even ashamed by the tears running down her cheeks.

"Thank you mei-mei. This is wonderful. It's amazing." She whispered.

"Can we see it?" Jayne asked impatiently, but not unkindly.

Zoe turned the package around and revealed a framed portrait of Wash that River had drawn. In the picture he was smiling brightly, two of his favorite toy dinosaurs had been drawn near the bottom of the picture. River had captured Wash perfectly even down to the mischievous twinkle in his eye. Everyone grew quiet as they took in the picture.

"Wow River that's really good. It looks just like him." Kaylee complimented.

The rest of the crew complimented River on her talent as well before returning to the gift opening.

Jayne ripped into his gift like a little boy and smiled broadly at the new gun cleaning kit that Inara had bought him.

Simon was more reserved about his gift opening like his sister had been, but was touched by the collection of Shakespeare sonnets given to him by Zoe.

"Thanks Zoe. How did you know I like Shakespeare?" He asked.

"Wasn't hard, just asked your sister. I thought the sonnets were a good choice, figured maybe you could read some to Kaylee." She said with a wink.

Mal was surprised when Jayne's gift to him turned out to be a new leather holster for his pistol; it was custom fit to his gun and had beautiful leather tooling on it. He had expected that whoever got a gift from Jayne would have gotten a hand me down knit hat from Jayne's mother, something Jayne wouldn't have to spend his money on. It was just one more reminder to Mal of just how close the crew had become and how much they had all changed for the better because of that closeness.

Once they had taken off and were flying in the Black once again Kaylee and River insisted that the festivities continue. They watched movies off the Cortex and played board games all afternoon.

At one point Simon, Mal, and Jayne exchanged a secretive glance and disappeared for awhile; insisting that the girls stay in the cargo bay where they had been playing horseshoes. The men wouldn't say where they had gone or what they'd been doing and they even made River promise not to read them so that she would be surprised as well.

Two hours later the girls realized what the men's surprise was when the smell of roasting turkey began to waft down to them from the kitchen.

"Is that turkey? Real turkey?" Kaylee asked excitedly.

"Hey you and River ain't the only ones who planned surprises for Christmas. We figured it wouldn't be a proper Christmas without a turkey dinner with all the trimmings. You can thank Zoe and Inara for chipping in the coin for it as well." Mal explained.

"You two knew what the boys were up to and didn't tell us? We women are supposed to stick together!" River insisted.

"Well we knew you two were working so hard on this special day for us. We just wanted to surprise you as well." Inara reasoned.

"I guess we can forgive ya seein as how we get a turkey dinner out of it, right River?" Kaylee asked brightly.

"Well since there's turkey." River agreed.

Late that night after the wonderful turkey dinner and more than a few glasses of wine Mal and River sat alone in the common room. They had turned off all the lights except the ones on the tree; giving the room a soft rosy glow. The couple sat curled up on the couch, not talking or moving, just enjoying being together.

"You have a good Christmas?" River asked breaking the silence after a long while.

"Best I've had since I was a little boy. Thank you for everything you did today." Mal answered and placed a kiss on River's neck, making her sigh with pleasure.

"So I gotta tell ya somethin." Mal continued.

"What's that?" She asked.

"I kinda got ya a Christmas gift even though I wasn't yer secret Santa."

"Mal, that's not fair! I didn't get you anything!" River complained.

"That don't matter none. Just saw something a while back that I really wanted ta get for you and I figured Christmas would be the perfect time to give it to ya."

"So can I open it?" She asked.

"Just let me get it." Mal replied and stood up from the couch. "Close yer eyes, I want it ta be surprise." He instructed.

River did as she was told and closed her eyes, using every bit of her will power to keep from reading Mal and ruining his surprise.

"Okay open em." He said quietly a second later.

River opened her eyes and gasped in shock to find Mal kneeling on one knee in front of her holding out a silver ring in a velvet box.

"I've said from the beginning that I don't deserve ya, but I'm willing ta spend the rest of my life tryin ta be the man you do deserve if you'll have me. River Tam will you marry me?" He asked nervously.

River couldn't seem to remember how to form words for a moment; she simply stared at him with a dumbfounded look of shock on her face.

It was when Mal began to look seriously worried that River realized she still hadn't replied.

"Oh Mal, I- of course I'll marry you!" She exclaimed and threw herself into his arms.

"Ya had me nervous there for a second." Mal replied with a relieved laugh before kissing her deeply.

"Are you sure about this ai-ren. About wanting to be with me I mean?" River asked worriedly after the kiss ended.

"Darlin I've never been so sure about anything in my whole entire life."