There it was, 3B. This was where she would be living for the time being. She dug her key out of her coat pocket and fit it into the lock. What she found when she opened the door was about what she had expected, but for some reason it felt different than the last time she'd moved into a new place. While the apartment did come with a little furniture, a couch, a bed, and a kitchen table, there was a lot of empty space, especially on the walls. Perhaps it was the fact that she was looking for a new start that made this apartment seem especially empty, like it was just waiting for her to make something of it.
Emma had never been much of a decorator, she had never had the means to be. Before she had set out on her own, she had moved from house to house so often that there was no reason to try and make any of them special. Once she was on her own, money was tight, food and school were her top prioritizes, she could live without posters and rugs. And even once she had graduated and started working, she didn't have time to go from store to store to find the perfect things to decorate her home, and besides, she had spent her whole life with blank walls. She was used to it.
But she didn't want to be Emma anymore. She was Ruth now. And she supposed that Ruth would probably enjoy making this space her own. She would have the time and money needed to allow her to care about these rooms and how they looked. Emma probably would have already had a lot things to find places for in her new apartment if her life hadn't been so chaotic and had been more like the life she'd dreamed of.
But Emma had nothing and all of that would have to wait until tomorrow. Tonight, she was too tired to care about much more than which box she would have to go retrieve from her car so that she would have what she would need in the morning. So now that she knew which door led to her new place, she headed back downstairs and out into the quickly fading daylight to bring her few possessions along with her into this new life.
Emma woke the next morning finally feeling like she had made the right decision. She had been so unsure the last few days but waking up somewhere other than her car gave her a renewed perspective on the whole situation. She only hoped she didn't run into the man from the day before again. She did not need him showing up in her life to distract her from her plan to start anew.
It didn't take her long to get ready for work. She had never been one to do a lot of primping and she had no food for breakfast since she had yet to go grocery shopping. She managed to make it out of the building and to her car with any unwelcome interruptions, making her feel much more hopeful about the rest of her day.
Work was easier now that her first day was over and done with. She had met most of the children the day before and she was starting to learn the center's routine. But it was still disheartening for her. Emma missed the work she used to do. As hard as it was to work with some of the kids in the foster system, it was something that made her feel good, like she was making a difference.
This job was different. Before she was almost excited to go to work, even despite the often difficult days. But now, she found herself constantly checking the clock, looking forward to 6 o'clock, when she would be able to leave and go do other things.
She doubted that she would have any plans most evenings, but tonight she did. She was going to go shopping to decorate her apartment. She wanted this new start to feel hopeful. And for Emma, part of that hope was found in stability and she wouldn't feel stable unless her home felt like just that, a home.
6 o'clock finally came around and once the last of the children had been picked up by their parents and the cleaning was done, Emma asked her boss for directions to the nearest home goods store and headed out in that direction. Once there, she wandered down each and every aisle, struggling to decide which items would best match her new life. Starting from scratch was hard, so many styles to choose from and Emma had now idea what she was doing. Finally, with a lot of help from one of the employees at the store, she picked out a few things and loaded them in her car.
She hadn't bought that many things, just a few posters and a mirror along with a few food staples, but it was enough to make her hands very full. She struggled to get the building door open while also keeping her grip on all of her bags. It wasn't working. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't reach her hand far enough without risking everything she carried.
That was until a leather-clad arm reached around her to grab the handle. She turned around to thank the owner of the arm and and came face to face yet again with Killian Jones.
"Oh great, it's you" she said, barely even trying to hide the distaste in her voice.
"I was rather expecting a thank you. But I can leave you to open the door yourself if you'd rather. I wouldn't want to be a bother."
"Oh no. I didn't mean that. Well I did, but I didn't mean to actually say it out loud." Why did this man make her so flustered? She was usually not nervous around men, at least not enough that it would show.
"That's alright. I sensed how annoyed you were last time we talked too."
"You could've fooled me. It looked like you were rather enjoying the conversation."
"I was hoping my charm would change your mind."
There it was again, that smugness she had seen in him the night before.
"Is that so? Well as I'm sure you can see, that plan didn't work too well."
"Who said my plan was complete?"
"Ha." Emma scoffed. "So I guess that means I won't get you to leave me alone anytime soon?"
"You'd be right. Look, at least let me help you get your bags upstairs. I'm going to the third floor anyway and you seem to be struggling a little."
"Well as much as I hate to say this, I would love the help. They are getting pretty heavy."
He held the building door open for her and once they had both stepped inside he held up his hands. She gave him three of her bags and they headed upstairs. They made it all the way to her door before Killian finally broke the awkward silence between them as she fished her key out of her purse.
"So are you new here or did I just miss you somehow?"
"Uh... I'm new. I just moved into the building yesterday actually." Emma replied pushing the door open.
"Well that would explain why this place is still so empty. Where is all your stuff?"
"Oh well... um this is it. What you see is what I have" she said gesturing awkwardly to the noticeably bare space around them.
"This is it?"
"Yeah. I uh... It was a pretty quick move. I didn't want to take the time to figure out what I could take with me and what my uh... ex would want to keep. I just took what I needed and left."
"Ah now I understand. And am I right to assume you don't want to talk about it?"
"You would be correct."
"Well then I'll just let you be. Unless of course you want some help putting all of this away..."
"You know what? I think I'll be alright on my own. It's only a few groceries and I still have no idea what I'm doing with any of these decorations so there really isn't much that needs to be done right now. So if you don't mind..." She was starting to get annoyed with him again and she was ready to be alone again.
"Of course, love. I'll leave you be."
"Thank you... for your help I mean."
"Anytime. Bye Emma."
"Goodbye Killian."
Killian headed for the door and Emma leaned her head down to rest it on the countertop sighing. She felt extremely exhausted after this long day. She didn't notice how Killian stopped in the open doorway and looked back at her until he spoke once again.
"So I'll see you around?"
Emma looked up surprised to see him still there. She didn't know why but something inside her stopped her from saying no.
"Yeah I guess you will."
"Great. Oh, and I'm just next door in apartment 3C if you need anything." He smiled and stepped out, pulling the door shut behind him.
"What am I doing?" Emma said aloud. She could see her plan beginning to fall apart and yet, she wasn't sure if she wanted to fight to keep it together.
She couldn't think about all that right now. First she needed to take care of everything she had just bought, starting with the groceries. The fridge that had come with the apartment was very small but Emma doubted that would matter much. It was just her and she had never been one to eat much. She'd only bought a few basics this time anyway, milk, eggs and the necessary ingredients for a simple sandwich should she so desire.
But now came the hard part, the decorations. Emma didn't have much of an eye for this sort of thing and there was a lot of empty wall space, especially considering how little she had bought. She had a lot of options and no idea what she liked best. She tried to decide which pieces out of what she bought she would like to look at most thinking that she would put those in the living room where she would see them. The posters would probably best fit that description. She wasn't keen to look at herself much so the mirror, which she had bought simply because the girl at the store had been so insistent that she should, should probably go in the bedroom where she would be spending less time and where she would be getting ready.
She dug through her boxes to find the container of office supplies that had previously been in her office. She hadn't thought to buy anything to hang the artwork with so thumbtacks would have to do. She had bought three prints, nothing too elaborate, just some flowers that all seemed to look nice together. She stood on the couch to put two of them on the wall behind it and she put the third on the wall opposite the door to the bedroom.
The mirror would be a little bit harder, it was too heavy to be hung with simple pushpins. She would need nails for that, which of course she didn't have. She had an idea as to who might have some but she wasn't exactly eager to call Killian for help. She had already let him see too much. She had wanted to start over, to be someone else, to not get close to anyone, and especially to not let anyone see the real her. But it was too late for all of that with Killian.
From the first moment they'd met, something about him had gotten under her skin, in more ways than one. Sure she had found him quite frustrating, but there was also something about him that she couldn't shake, that intrigued her. She felt almost comfortable around him, like she could be herself even if that's exactly who she didn't want to be. This was not something Emma was used to. She was quite accustomed to putting up walls and keeping people out. Even with Neal, she had never really felt comfortable. He had finally found a way through her barriers and they had worked fairly well together for a while, but underneath it all there was always a tension that had never let her feel secure about their relationship.
She was afraid that if she actually initiated an encounter, that would be the final blow needed to shatter her plans. Would she really be able to push him away after this? He clearly wanted to get to know her better, and to be honest she thought she might like that too. She hated to admit it but she didn't have much choice in the matter. If she wanted the mirror to be put up, which she did, she would have to ask Killian to come back. Even if she bought nails she doubted that she would be able to put the mirror up by herself.
So she headed out of her apartment to the next door down and knocked. He opened the door and she could tell that she had been the last person he had expected to see there. He recovered quickly though and she could see his mind racing, trying to determine why she was there, as a smirk formed on his face.
"Miss me already, Emma?" He leaned against the door frame, clearly thinking a lot of himself.
"Not exactly. I need a little favor." she said nervously, pushing her hair out of her face.
"Is that so? And what would that be?"
"Well I was trying to hang up some of the things I bought but I didn't plan ahead very well. I have no way of hanging the mirror. I was wondering if perhaps you had some nails and a little free time to help me hang it up."
"I think I could spare a few minutes. Just let me grab my tools and I'll meet you at your apartment?"
"Perfect. Thanks."
Emma walked back into her apartment and stood for a moment in the living room thinking about what she had just done. She had actually invited someone, not just someone but Killian Jones, into her apartment, into her life. There was no going back from this now. He wasn't going anywhere and neither, it seemed, was her life as Emma Swan.
Emma was still standing in the middle of the room when Killian walked in and she didn't notice his presence until he finally spoke.
"So where's the mirror and where do you want it?"
"Oh, uh it's over there leaning up against the couch. And I was thinking it would go well in the bedroom. Here I'll show you."
He picked up the mirror and followed her into the bedroom.
"I was thinking it would look nice on this wall here, the one opposite the bed."
"It's your room, love. I'll put it wherever you want it."
"Then opposite the bed it is. Do you need any help?"
"Not right away. I may need your help once I've got the nails actually in the wall though."
"Alright. I guess I'll just sit down over here then."
As soon as Emma sat down on the bed, her phone began to ring, breaking the awkward tension that had begun to as soon Killian had walked through the door. Emma looked down to see who it was and the name on the screen, Neal, caused her to immediately hit ignore.
"So where did you move from?" Killian was clearly trying to ease some of the tension surrounding them.
"Newton Massachusetts. It's about 30 minutes out of Boston."
"What's it like there? I don't imagine it's much like the big city."
"No, it's nothing like here. It's a lot smaller and a lot more spread out. I miss the space there. I always feel so walled in in big cities." She had planned to keep going but at that moment her phone started to ring again. Clearly Neal did not get the message that she didn't want to talk. She hoped that perhaps being ignored a second would get it across to him. It was a moment before either of them spoke again. This time Emma was the one to speak first.
"So how about you? How did you end up here?" She thought he might have an interesting story. She'd heard what seemed to be small traces of a foreign accent that still hung around despite some time spent here.
"Well my tale is not a happy one for sure." He stopped working and turned to look at her before continuing. "I'm originally from the UK, Ireland to be more precise. I moved here after my older brother… Well, after we lost my brother. I needed a change of scenery. Everywhere I went held memories too painful for me. I needed someplace new. I left home and well, here I am."
Emma had no idea what to say. Killian barely knew her and yet here he was talking about what was clearly a painful subject for him.
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bring any of that up."
"It's alright. You couldn't have known there was even anything to bring up."
And at that point, just as Emma started to feel more comfortable with her current situation, her phone rang out yet again.
"Aren't you going to get that, love?"
"I wasn't planning to. They can wait."
"This is the third call from who I assume is the same person. It would seem that they do not share your feelings."
Emma sighed, "I guess I'll have to talk to him sometime."
"I don't imagine he'll leave you be until you do so perhaps it'd be best."
"Yeah you're probably right. I'll just be a minute."
Emma walked into the living room pulling the bedroom partially closed behind her as she left. She was almost too late but she hit answer just before her phone would have hung up on him again. She was greeted immediately by a clearly annoyed Neal.
"Why did you ignore me?"
"Did it occur to you that perhaps I was just busy or didn't want to talk to you?"
"Why wouldn't you want to talk to me? What did I do?"
"Why wouldn't I want to talk to you? Have you not noticed that I moved out?"
"Really? I noticed stuff was missing but I figured you were just on a trip. I know you have to travel sometimes to go see kids you've helped."
"And you didn't think to even confirm that, to make sure I was ok? I've been gone for like a week and I haven't heard one word from you." At this point Emma was starting to lose control of her temper, her voice starting to get sharper and louder.
"Look, Emma. Just come home and we can talk about whatever you're feeling." Neal was plainly trying to avoid an argument, not that Emma expected anything else from him. That was very typical for him. He just avoided problems or made it seem like she was the only one bothered and hoped they went away. But of course they never did. How could they if the two of them never talked about them?
"Home? My home is here now. I'm done with you, with your lies and broken promises. I'm done with the fighting. I've moved out and I'm moving on!" And with that Emma hung up the phone, too angry to continue talking. She sat on the couch a moment to try and get herself back under control before she went back in to face Killian.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity but couldn't have been more than a minute or two, Emma stood and walked back into the bedroom. Killian was still hard at work and Emma was quite aware of how he avoided meeting her gaze. She knew that he had to have heard most of what she'd said, she had hardly been quiet. But he clearly wasn't going to be the one to bring it; she would have to speak first.
"Sorry. I'm sure that was loud and probably awkward for you to have to hear."
"That's quite alright."
Emma found herself talking again before she had even decided what she wanted to say.
"He's just so frustrating. I don't understand him. How could he not get the message that I was clearly upset? I mean, we had been fighting for weeks, worse than we ever had before, and I moved out for goodness sake. How did he not realize I moved out?"
"Shouldn't you be asking him all of these questions? I'm not exactly in the know here."
"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you. Of course you're right. He should be the one answering. And I did ask him. But, as always he just dodged my questions, tried to make it look like I was the one with the problems not him."
Killian stepped away from the wall to inspect his work. The mirror stayed where it was so he moved to sit next to Emma on the bed.
"I may not know much about this ex of yours, but I do know one thing. The man is a bloody idiot for treating a woman such as yourself like this."
Emma had not been expecting that. Nor did she expect her own reaction to his words. He made her feel almost safe, like she could let her guard down a little around him.
"Thank you Killian, for the mirror too."
"Right, the mirror. You're quite welcome. Was that all you needed?"
"Yeah… that was it."
He stood, a little too quickly. He seemed almost nervous as he collected the few tools he had brought with him.
"I'll just go then. You seem to had quite an evening and I don't want to overstay my welcome."
"Right, sure. I'll walk you out."
Killian left the bedroom with Emma following right behind him as he walked toward her front door. He opened the door and then he paused to turn back to her.
"You know where to find me if you ever need anything else." Emma could tell that he was holding something else back but she wasn't sure just what it was. But she found herself stepping closer to him without thinking.
"Thank you again, Killian, for everything." Before she could stop herself, she stepped forward again, closing the distance between them and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. It was an awkward event, she had clearly surprised him. After an all too short moment, he stepped back disentangling himself from her arms and moved out the door with nothing more than another "goodbye Emma". She closed the door behind him and leaned up against it.
"Well that didn't go like I'd planned."