It's been three months since they arrived to this unknown land and things haven't gotten better at all.
December is on and so is the cold winter. Cold winter Feliciano honestly hates. He isn't used to this kind of cold, he's used to the tempered weather at his dear Venezia. But, as Ludwig often says, the past is in the past.
Maybe he's getting nostalgic because Christmas is about to happen, just a week from now. When they were living in Italia, Ludwig and he would celebrate the holiday with delicious food – nothing too fancy of course –, with singing – most of it by Feliciano -, and wine. He remembers dearly how much fun they used to have in their private party for two. But right now Feliciano truly doesn't know how they'll pass the holidays.
The streets are full of little lights hanging from the store's windows, that makes them look magical, as if they are from another dimension where elves actually existed. And sometimes you could find little Christmas trees showing on the same windows.
The people still get outside of their homes because life doesn't stop just because it's cold, but to Feliciano it seems that everybody but him is used to the cold.
But there's something that Feliciano actually likes on this cold days and that is the snow falling from the dark sky.
Little white dots coming from the clouded sky, falling slowly as if they are angels' feathers. They somehow feel and look as if they are alive to Feliciano, with their elegant and delicate dance that the Italian sometimes accompanies humming one of his favorite piano musical pieces. A tranquil, soft and calm music that he loves so much.
Feliciano is sitting at the floor, with his arms leaned over the window's frame. It's late at night so the sky is dark but it's also covered of thick gray clouds because it's snowing. At one corner of the room, the little wood stove is burning a log. Ludwig had bought that stove, thinking ahead of the cold winter, after saving money for two months.
Ludwig is really smart.
Talking about Ludwig, it's kind of weird how he hasn't come home yet. Maybe he got delayed because of the snow.
Feliciano stands up and grabs the little pot from the oven at the gas stove to fill it with water and heat it. Surely Ludwig will be really cold when he arrives, so a good cup of coffee would be truthfully appreciated when coming in.
Just when he's doing that, the front door opens brusquely to show the blond man behind it. Ludwig has a hasty breathing and his face is tainted in red – Feliciano suspects it's because he ran all the way from work to home – but his lips are turned up in a wide smile that immediately spreads to Feliciano. Ludwig looks really excited.
"What is it, Ludwig? Did something happ—" Feliciano asks but is interrupted by Ludwig.
"I got promoted at work!"
"Eh?! Really?!" so that's why the blond is so excited, no wonder! Feliciano extends his arms towards Ludwig and the blond gets close to him to hug him. He smells of dirt and sweat. "Congratulations, Ludwig, I'm so happy for you!"
"The best part is that the pay will be better, so we'll be able to buy better stuff. Like good pasta for you" he caresses the soft brown hair. Feliciano laughs a little.
"No, Ludwig, you should buy beer, you deserve it and it's your money after all" Ludwig breaks the hugs and places his hands over Feliciano's shoulders.
"It's our money, not mine. Get it on your head already" he pokes Feliciano's forehead, who just laughs.
To be honest, Feliciano still feels uncomfortable at the idea of not having a job. It doesn't matter how many times Ludwig assures him that there isn't any real need of him to get a job immediately, that they are fine how they are right now. But thankfully his English is getting better rapidly, after hard work and Ludwig's diligent teaching, so the day he finally gets a job may be closer than he thinks.
"Plus, the promotion it's just in time" Ludwig continues to talk, walking to the wood stove to warm up his hands "Christmas it's just around the corner and we'll be able to have a decent dinner"
The holidays hadn't even passed by Feliciano's mind.
"That's right!" Feliciano exclaims, clapping his hands and jumping a little "That's wonderful news!"
"You got more excited over food than for my promotion" Ludwig murmurs to himself but he seems amused.
"You want coffee?"
"Yes, please"
And just like that, time continues to flow and the city continues to get whiter and whiter and colder and colder. The cool winds blowing through every corner and crack on the walls of every unwary and unprepared house, chilling to the bones of the people.
In just a blink of the eye, Christmas Eve is already here without notice.
It's early in the morning and the two men, owners of this small apartment, are lying naked on their bed and under the multiple covers. They are hugging and Feliciano shudders.
"It's so cold" he complains under his breath.
"Well, you are naked" Ludwig remembers him.
"You are the one who got me naked!" Feliciano says laughing and pushing the other away.
"You didn't complain" the brunette continues to laugh until his stomach hurts, and when this happen, the blond keeps talking "We should get up"
"Why? You said you wouldn't have to work today" he says as he moves closer to Ludwig, wanting to steal from the other's warmness.
"I don't, but time is gold. And if we want to prepare something for tonight's dinner we should go buy the things early"
That's how Ludwig is, always so diligent and organized and with a slight obsession with order and control. The brunette is almost sure that if Ludwig could, he would wish to a genie to be able to control everything – even the sun – in order to have everything in its rightful place at a specific time. And it's something that comes since they were kids.
Feliciano can clearly remember how one day, at the orphanage, Ludwig spent almost two hours accommodating some wood blocks by color. It was a difficult task, though, because the paint in the blocks was old and dirty so he had to discern if that block looked like green but was actually blue.
When Ludwig finished his task, he was so proud of himself he ran all the way from the play room to the quarters to call Feliciano so he could see the incredible job done. But by the time they got back to the blocks, some other kid had already messed it up by picking some to play with them. The little blond almost threw a fit over it because God, two hours and now everything went to waste, but Feliciano got him to calm down when told that thanks to him and his incredible ability of accommodation of blocks by colors, the kid could now choose wisely what blocks he actually wanted.
"Feliciano" the blond calls him "Did you fall asleep again?" he is already sitting on the bed and picking his clothes from the floor.
"No, no, I'm coming"
After also sitting and grabbing his discharged clothes from last time, he takes a clean outfit and prepares for showering.
An hour later, they are already pristine clean and ready to start their busy day in the streets to look what to eat for dinner. It'll be something simple but delicious, maybe some fish chowder would be nice and hot for the cold night.
By the time they go out to the street, it's full of people walking promptly from and to everywhere, surely because they are also buying stuff to celebrate the holiday. There are a lot of things that Italians love – beautiful people, food, taking naps – but one of the main things they truly love is partying. Anything can be a good excuse to pop out a good bottle of wine with some pasta to celebrate along with comrades, family, lovers, even strangers!
Usually Ludwig would want to do everything quickly, but it seems that the holiday spirit has taken over his body because they are slowly walking through the street. Sometimes they would stop in front of a window to look at the goods being exposed there, sometimes Feliciano would talk a little with the people in the street while Ludwig stays nearby, and sometimes they would enter the stores to buy stuff.
They finally decide to prepare the fish chowder Feliciano had thought at first.
And, to Feliciano surprise, Ludwig decides to buy some pasta and ingredients to prepare it.
"My gift" he says when the brunette sees him questionably at his decision to spend money on that.
"I don't have a gift for you!" Feliciano replies with worried eyes.
"It's fine like that, Feliciano"
But it still makes the Italian feel uncomfortable at not being able to reciprocate the gesture.
Before going back home, they stop at another final store to buy wood for the stove so they could stay warm the whole day.
"I see you're getting ready for the dinner, boys"
Mr. Domenico is the old man with white hair and long beard that owns this store that sells wood.
"That's right, Mr. Domenico!" Feliciano corroborates with a smile while Ludwig is picking what logs to buy "Is your family ready? What are you getting for dinner?"
"My grandson and granddaughter wanted something more American style, so we're getting turkey" the old man doesn't seem happy at the idea "These kids nowadays, they don't appreciate tradition!"
It's not that weird for younger people, mainly if they are born in the States, to adjust fairly quickly to American costumes. Even if Little Italy is practically just an extension of the homeland, the Italian people living in U.S.A still have to adapt to the American way. They can't pretend they are in Italia for a long time once they arrive because American people don't appreciate that.
"It should be fun, though" Feliciano continues to talk "Trying different and new things"
"Tradition is tradition, Feliciano"
The brunette just smiles at the other man. He knows Mr. Domenico can become rather stubborn when it comes to Italia and its costumes. Thankfully, the conversation is interrupted when Ludwig stands up.
"We're buying this, please" the blond says, pointing to a big bag full of the chosen logs.
After weighing up the bag and paying, they go out of the store. Feliciano is carrying the paper bags full of ingredients and food while Ludwig is the one with the wood over his back.
"Do you think we will become bitter and stubborn like Mr. Domenico when we are old?" the brunette asks but seems to think it's funny.
"All old people are like that, aren't they?" the blond replies.
"I guess" he shrugs "You know, maybe for New Year we should try something more American?"
"I thought you didn't like American food"
"Maybe it's because I don't prepare it! But if I cook it, I bet it would taste pretty good. Wait, what if I work on an American restaurant?! That way their food would taste 100% better"
"I don't think Americans would like you being better than them at cooking their own food"
It sounds as if Ludwig is just joking with that, but Feliciano knows Americans can be a little… "tricky" to deal with. The blond has told him enough stories about it. The majority of his job's companions are Americans, they are alright – Ludwig says – but still kind of annoying and sometimes a bit too unnecessary "cruel". They often joke about Ludwig's immigrant condition, sometimes about his accent and sometimes about his name. "All in game" they say, but it still is annoying and unnecessary in Ludwig's opinion. And worst of it all, the man can't really defend himself of those type of comments because then the others would categorize him as "one of the bad ones".
Ludwig has his physical appearance to his advantage, though, so Americans still treat him better than to other people.
There's this thing called "Racial Segregation", after all.
The blond sometimes would tell the Italian about the facilities specially built for "colored people". Facilities like water fountains, doors to restaurants, even movie theaters just for them. Being honest, Feliciano doesn't have much experience with black or Asian people because he lived most of his life in the north part of Italia, it's the south Italia that has a more vast population of other races.
But his companion says they aren't that bad, he supposes, it's almost inevitable to not cross pass with them in New York when he goes to work, not to mention that some of his work partners are black. They don't talk to him, Ludwig, that much and he suspects it's because he's white.
Still, the blond sometimes notices how different the boss treats him and his other white companions against the black ones, although they are doing practically the same job and having the same performance. If Ludwig dared to say, sometimes the black folks work even harder than some of his white fellows, but it isn't that strange because if they make a single mistake the risk of getting punished or worse fired is greater than those of the whites'.
The United States truly is a whole different world from Italia.
"There's this guy, though" Ludwig starts to speak.
They are already at their place, with Ludwig leaving the logs bag next to the wood stove and Feliciano placed the groceries bag over the table.
"His name is Alfred" the blond continues "He's American to the bone. Born and raised here. And he seems… nice"
Ludwig is obviously doubtfully of using that word.
"He can be annoying, but he's friendly" he opens the stove's oven and puts another log to revive the dying fire "Sometimes a little too much" he murmurs.
"Sounds like fun" Feliciano contributes, taking out the stuff from the paper bags to put them on the cupboard.
"He tries to talk to everyone. And when I say 'everyone' I mean 'everyone'," he gets up with a grunt "Even the black ones. They don't talk much to him, though, they just respond with monosyllables"
"Maybe they are afraid of him?" Feliciano turns his face to look at Ludwig's back "I mean, he is white"
"Perhaps"
For the rest of the morning and afternoon, Ludwig and Feliciano dedicate their time to studying English. As previously said, Feliciano's English is finally getting form and sense after having to memorize almost one hundred verbs with all of their conjugations in just three months. They sometimes would try to have a conversation in English, but pronunciation and listening is still somewhat difficult for the aspiring young man.
That doesn't lower his spirits in the least. Feliciano continues to try and read out-loud magazines Ludwig often brings to the apartment. Plus, most of the time the blond is now talking only English inside their place. It was difficult and a pain in the ass at first, but the brunette is slowly getting better at it.
Feliciano is reading a magazine, sitting on the bed with his knees close to his chest and the back resting against the wall. His eyes diverts for a moment to the blue-eyed, who is lying on the bed reading another magazine.
It's been a while since last occasion they've spent so much time together. With Ludwig's job, the blond is almost all day outside and the only moments to talk are when they are about to get to bed and sleep. Not even the weekends are sacred to that work and sometimes Ludwig would have to go to job on Saturdays and Sundays.
His heart flutters at the image of his lover with him. The brunette now treasures this moments with all his might because he doesn't know when will be the next time he'll be able to have Ludwig all for himself without interruption.
And now that Feliciano thinks about it, reading magazines now sounds like a total waste of time.
"Hey, Ludwig" he calls the other without looking away.
"Yes, Feliciano?" on the other hand, Ludwig doesn't even look at him.
This time the brunette doesn't respond, he just leaves his magazine over the bed and moves towards the other. The cushion creaks under his weight and movements and stops when Feliciano cuddles next to the blond.
"Stop reading and cuddle with me" he uses that voice that most of the time gets him anything he wants.
"We cuddle every night"
Although it seems the voice won't help this time.
"I know, but reading looks really useless right now"
"It helps you to learn English faster, it's not useless" he sounds kind of offended.
Feliciano knows that most of the time his debauchery and laziness drive Ludwig insane in a very negative way. But he just can't help it! "Cuddling" is definitely higher than "studying" in his fun list. He sometimes is really surprised how come Ludwig, the order-obsessed man, decided to stay with him and not only that but also to become his lover.
Maybe that's why their relationship works so well nonetheless.
At any case, Feliciano is glad Ludwig is happy with him.
"It's Christmas! I'm sure you can spare me some patience in name of the holidays, right?" taking the opportunity, Feliciano grabs Ludwig's magazine out of his hands and tosses it away. With a quick move, he sits over the other's body and reclines to nudge his cheek over the blond's chest "It's better like this"
Feliciano doesn't feel guilty because he knows that Ludwig will make him pay the next day, exhorting him to study the double of time to make up for today, and that he will oblige because even he knows that learning English is really important.
"Just…" Ludwig starts to talk while placing his big hands over Feliciano's legs "Just cuddling, then"
Slowly and almost doubtfully the blue-eyed moves his hands up and down over the thighs to later travel to the brunette's sides and arms. The caresses are soft and chaste that soon make Feliciano's body relax, freeing a sigh from his lips and a hum to accompany it. Ludwig really knows how to touch him to transform his whole being into something soft and moldable, as if he is clay under his expert hands.
Sometimes he would try to do the same with Ludwig, caress him like this until the other is totally relaxed, but getting the blond to accept such thing is rather difficult. Feliciano doesn't quite understand why his lover doesn't like being touched that much when his body could be defined as perfect. Good thing that Feliciano is a words expert and as such can bring the same effect on Ludwig with his voice.
"Ludwig" the other just offers a hum as an answer "I like your hands, they are so good and beautiful" once again he nudges his cheek against the clothed chest.
His companion doesn't reply, so he continues talking "In fact, your whole body is so beautiful". Feliciano can feel a slight trembling coming from Ludwig's fingertips that are currently touching him on the back.
Ludwig at first gives this threatening vibe to everyone and usually it's a good thing because that means less trouble for them and his deep voice and strict behavior doesn't help either, but the blond is actually one of the sweetest people Feliciano has ever had the pleasure to meet in his life. He gets embarrassed easily with loving words to the point that his ears become a pretty shade of pink whenever Feliciano pushes it, he also get sparkly eyes when seeing and petting dogs – one time the blond confessed he would wish to be able to talk with dogs –. He's pretty skillful on the art of baking, and will help anyone who asks.
To Feliciano, Ludwig indeed is perfection born into a mortal and human body and he isn't afraid of telling him that every single day of their lives. He actually loves doing so.
"Your eyes are the perfect shade of blue, even on cloudy days and the sun isn't there to shine over them" the brunette keeps the flattering coming "Your lips are also perfect, the perfect shape and texture. It's always a pleasure to kiss you, Ludwig"
He stops for a moment when the other man holds him tight in a hug, burying his face on the brown hair of Feliciano. The brunette can't help but giggle a little. This embrace means that Ludwig is getting embarrassed and wants to reciprocate all the love he's receiving but, as always, words won't leave his mouth so he uses his body instead.
It's funny to think that when they were just starting their relationship as lovers, all those years ago, Ludwig was too much of a prude – to call it something – about physical contact. The Italian has always loved to hug and being hugged, kiss and being kissed, all those demonstrations of true love are really something he desires with all his might. At first he was the one to always try to initiate contact and the blond would always be hesitant at it, nervous and flustered. Feliciano would have stopped at the moment but Ludwig confessed he also wanted it to happen but maybe take things slower.
Of course the brunette agreed with his friend's conditions after their first kiss, and with time the blue-eyed was able to learn the fascinating world of touching and discovering his partner's and his own body.
Since then, Ludwig demonstrates his love with subtle caresses like removing a rebel lock of hair from Feliciano's forehead, fix Feliciano's shirt by the collar when needed, sometimes he would even dare to grab his hand and pass the fingertips all along it. At any moment that they are together, Ludwig's hands would find a way to touch him.
Feliciano closes his eyes at the memories of past years.
"Sometimes I wonder how you are even real. With your perfect hair and skin, even your fingers are perfect. To be honest, I could just spend a whole day watching you doing nothing, so I could appreciate fully just how perfect you're Ludwig"
To others ears all this talking may sound like pretty lies which only function is to fill the other's heart with beautiful, and yet empty, feelings of love and adoration. But Feliciano can swear on his life that he truly and honestly believes everything he says.
Ludwig is perfect and Feliciano knows it, and he just hopes that his lover believes truthfully his words.
A deep breath escapes from the blond's nose, making the top of Feliciano's head warm.
"Ludwig, I love you so much I can barely contain it in this body of mine. My love for you is so deep and profound that it must be confined in the darkest place inside my heart, but it brings me such joy and happiness that it must be full of light and shimmer"
Placing his weight on his hands over the bed, the brunette straightens up to be able to see those blue eyes that he so much adores. Ludwig is looking directly at him and his cheeks are a beautiful shade of red that extends to the ears. Lips pressed in a straight line because of the embarrassment.
Feliciano smiles tenderly at the beautiful image.
"I love you so much, Ludwig"
With that last whisper, the brunette breaks the distance between them and kisses him softly on the lips. It feels warm and even if it's just superficial Feliciano can perceive all the love Ludwig has for him through it and he sure hopes that it's the same for the other.
After a moment that felt like frozen eternity, Ludwig slowly breaks the kiss and open his eyes, locking them in the Italian's deep brown.
"We should start making dinner" the blond says with a raspy voice.
"Alright" Feliciano replies with a whisper and with a hop he's down on the floor again.
They cook in silence but Feliciano can't fail to notice Ludwig's continuing and almost shy touches on his hands, hips and back.