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WISDOM TOOTH

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Chapter 6: Dessert? Yes, please

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Hi everyone! It's been so long…but that's exams for you. And I was too exhausted to write anything for a while after. It is surprisingly hard to get in groove after a period of prolonged absence from writing.

A big thanks to all those who have stuck with me despite the almost two-month hiatus, and given so much helpful advice: lmncake (your reviews are always hilarious), promocat, ChellyBellyBeanBag, Kiara97, hikari-hime 01, sebastiansgirl, Ryuka32, coopt98, the lovely guest reviewers, and last but not least, smart-blonde-the-oxymoron!

I never imagined this little ficlet would stretch to so many chapters. I'm sure most of you would be wondering why Ciel didn't simply order Sebastian to give him cake. Well, the reason for that is: I think that for Ciel, an order would be equivalent to giving up, almost like losing to Sebastian. A somewhat similar thing happened in the manga when Ciel fell sick after returning from Noah's Ark circus.

The usual disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji.

As this fic deals largely with food, I shall be prudent and add another obvious disclaimer: The dietary and nutritional information discussed references in this fic are all taken from the internet, and represents in no way my own opinions. It was not my intention to put you off breakfast, or lunch, or dinner; or to offend anyone who eats a particular food. Also, please do not imitate Ciel and waste food; it's not a good habit!

That said, let's see if Ciel's lunch is gag-worthy, shall we?

Warning: a great deal of exaggeration, description and meaningless drama.

Finally, chapter 6!

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Sebastian was promptly dismissed to supervise Bard's lunch preparations; or in other words, to dispose of the large quantities of charcoal created by the three idiots, in a heroic attempt to salvage anything consumable from the hazardous aftermath of flame-throwers in kitchens. Most of the time, the butler had to make lunch straight from scratch, a fact he often found extremely irksome, though not today.

Today, he had a very special dietary regimen to adhere to; and he intended to manipulate said diet in a most entertaining manner. The (brat) young master's appalled face during the breakfast debacle spurred the devil butler to outdo his previous efforts, by creating a hellish lunch that would reduce the boy to a tearful, starving, brooding, miserable mess. Such a task would be easy as pie for him; he was one hell of a butler after all.

Ahhh, revenge is so, so sweet; nearly as delicious as the most excruciatingly tortured soul. No wonder the master with the infamous sweet tooth was willing to go to such lengths to bring down those who destroyed his life.

The butler hummed contentedly to himself, an elegant hand brushing through a dog-earned recipe book. Finding the instructions he desired, the butler began gathering the ingredients with a small but satisfied smirk.

Each dish would have to be precisely and carefully prepared to cause the arrogant and insufferable young master excruciating agony. Now then, to begin with the Earl's most disliked vegetable…

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Ciel POV:

Ciel gently caressed his sore jaw, rubbing soothing circles on the skin. The mental fatigue was making his toothache worse, the stress and lack of food causing his gums to throb painfully as he contemplated his butler's most recent behavior.

It was peaceful; too peaceful. After Sebastian's taxing behavior throughout the long and arduous morning, it seemed unlikely that he would simply drop the entire 'tooth' business. Did he perhaps lose interest in his cruel taunts?

No, it was far more likely that this temporary reprieve was merely a tactical retreat before a fresh onslaught of ingenious torture. Ciel shuddered. What is the demon planning?

Surely lunch could not be worse than breakfast…?

Shaking away disturbing thoughts from his head, Ciel stared intently at the single apple perched daintily on his papers, which Sebastian had brought to momentarily appease the Earl's hunger. Its pale green skin reflected the light as if it was winking and mocking him.

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When Sebastian returned to escort the Earl to the dinner table, the boy was surprised and displeased to find Soma already seated opposite Ciel's customary chair, his faithful servant Agni hovering behind like a mother hen. The diet was a nuisance on its own; combined with Soma's usual boisterous insensitivity; it was destined to be a nightmare.

The Watchdog released a huge sigh. If he somehow survived lunch, he was going to lock himself up in his study for the whole day, lessons and business matters be damned.

Ever the graceful host, Sebastian began introducing each item of the menu. Gesturing to the closed serving bowls in front of the Earl, the black-clad butler explained, "In consideration of the young master's new dietary regimen, a special meal has been prepared to fortify his body and ensure adequate intake of essential nutrients."

'Special' is seldom synonymous with 'good', Ciel pondered pessimistically (or perhaps realistically, given past dealings with the demon butler).

Schooling his features into an appropriately subservient expression, the demon continued, "I feared that these specially prepared menu would not be to Prince Soma's taste; so Agni has taken the effort to prepare a normal meal for the Prince. However, if Prince Soma wishes, he is free to sample the other items."

Ciel glanced towards the dishes meant for Soma, his visible eye quickly counting the silverware. It is just me, or is Soma getting much more food than I am?

The rational part of Ciel agreed that separate meals were the most sensible option. However, the childish part of him wanted Soma to suffer alongside the poor sweet-deprived earl.

Opening a medium-sized soup tureen, Sebastian continued, "Today's luncheon is served on the Dorchester china. The first course for Master Ciel is lentil soup, prepared in the Turkish style, with bread-sticks to accompany."

Ciel eyed the silver tureen ravenously (predictably, he had not touched the green apple). His eye followed the silver ladle as Sebastian deftly poured a large cup of murky brown liquid (or was it semi-solid?) into the awaiting bowl.

Driven by hunger, the boy scooped up a spoonful of the broth (no, he had not forgotten Sebastian's idioms and catchphrases), sniffing cautiously before taking a small sip.

Blanching at the insipid taste, he was immediately tempted to spit it out, but refrained, not wanting to throw a tantrum in front of Soma (after all, he was trying to show that he was more mature than the spoilt Indian brat). With sheer force of will, Ciel cleared his throat and replied with strained politeness, "Your efforts are deeply appreciated, Sebastian; however you know I prefer clear soup."

"But young master, this is so much healthier." Sebastian's apologetic behavior could not conceal his inner mirth.

Agni, completely taken in by his fellow butler's transparent concern, was quite delighted that his self-proclaimed friend had finally embraced the true butler's ethics; that the master's health comes even before his orders. Eager to help, he nodded in what he believed to be an encouraging manner. "Yes, Lord Ciel! In India, lentils form a part of the healthy young man's daily diet! Why, in the palace-"

Soma yawned expansively in the middle of his khana-sama's enthusiastic lecture. "Agni is always babbling about the importance of grains and pulses. I never eat them though, they all taste terrible."

Any favorable impression Agni might have created was quickly banished by Soma's customary lack of tact. "Prince…" the fair-haired servant whined, casting a regretful glance at Ciel's stormy expression, but the damage was done. The Earl's youthful face was drawn into a furious scowl, the soup bowl pushed to one side. Evidently, the young master was done with his soup, even though he had only one spoon of the concoction.

Ignoring Ciel's silent tantrum, Sebastian made to serve some of the mushy substance to Prince Soma as well, but the prince declined with a rude belch.

"Ugh, I'm not eating that. It's too bland, I refuse! Its Ciel's tooth after all, why should I-"

"Sebastian" Ciel cut through Soma's words in a clipped voice that permitted no interruptions. "Let us continue to the next course of the meal."

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"These are not the usual salad ingredients."

They were innocent words, but Ciel's tone was sharp, biting; the syllables thrown at the butler in a most accusing manner, with a tone usually associated with insults and death threats. The young Earl's patience was at its end. He eyed the salad with visible apprehension, trying to identify each vegetable and mentally cataloging what to avoid.

Sebastian was unperturbed, pleased even. "How perceptive of you, young master. The normal salad has been enriched with collards and kale, which are particularly rich in calcium and hence help strengthen your teeth."

Ciel raised a questioning eyebrow but did not comment.

"Also, I decided to use a bit of ingenuity; replacing the cholesterol and fattening olive oil salad dressing with cod liver oil instead. This way, the young master has his intake of vitamins, along with minerals and fiber from his healthy greens. It is killing two birds with one stone, is it not?" The butler's head was tilted to the side in an inquiring manner, a sly smirk on his face.

Cod liver oil… Ciel had been force-fed that vile substance at Aunt Francis' mansion once, when he was much younger. He could still remember the feeling of grease on his lips, the horrendous stink, that absolute poison…

The horrified expression on Ciel's face brought a flown-blown grin on the butlers'. Really, this entire 'teeth' episode was complete bliss, a small shard of satisfaction in the drudgery of the contract; a small victory, but a sweet one nonetheless.

Serving a substantial part of the leafy greens unto CIel's plate, Sebastian continued in mocking seriousness, "I would like to draw your attention to the raw onions at the side. They are very important in fighting bacteria in the mouth. As your butler and cook, I humbly request you to eat all of them."

Ciel's stared at his plate dumbly. Apparently the lack of food had robbed him of the capacity to speak. Or perhaps he was keeping his nose and mouth tight shut to avoid inhaling the noxious smell.

Soma leaned towards the large bowl in curiosity, but quickly withdrew, wrinkling his nose at the stench of greasy fish innards. Before the prince could say anything insensitive again, Agni pushed a plate of chicken curry under his nose in a desperate attempt to placate his Master.

Sated, Soma began to dig in with gusto, oblivious of the lustful way in which Ciel eyed the chicken.

Tentatively, Ciel pried apart from the general goop a few green stalks which were relatively free from the sickening oil. Gingerly, he placed a particularly succulent green shoot into his mouth.

Ciel stuck his tongue out in despair, the awful taste of wheatgrass permeating his sensitive taste buds. Frantically, he looked around for anything, water, soup, broth, anything that could purge the horrendous grassy texture from his mouth.

He knew that by forming a demonic contract he would be damned to Hell one day, but this was another type of Hell altogether.

"Would you prefer the celery instead, young master?" Sebastian was grinning like Finny during Christmas.

Ciel hissed, standing up to put some distance between him and the salad of doom, throwing his cloth napkin to the side. "Enough. I am not hungry anymore. I am feeling unwell (food poisoning, he suspected), so I shall retire to my study, and do some light reading. I do not wish to be disturbed." He finished with a meaningful glare at the room's occupants, silently daring them to challenge his wishes.

"But young master…" Sebastian murmured consolingly, trying to encourage the little earl back into his seat. Hmph. Eager to showcase more of his horror food, no doubt. Ciel was having none of it (both literally and figuratively). Striding purposefully towards the door, Ciel ignored the butler following diligently behind.

"But young master, you have not yet sampled the main course…the Japanese rice-cakes, the Irish rhubarb stew…"

Ciel had reached the foot of the stairs when the butler's voice called out, "Young master, at least have a bit of dessert…"

The demon watched with delight as the stubborn child stilled, his blood-red eyes observing in minute detail the way Ciel subconsciously perked up at the mention of his favorite course.

"Dessert?" the boy echoed hollowly. Trap, trap, trap, trap, trap, his mind chanted warningly, but his larynx could not be stopped. His body was already turning, his eyes (both visible and covered) lighting up with faint hope, his voice shaky and uncertain.

The butler nodded solemnly. "Yes, young master, dessert. What kind of butler would I be, if I could not serve the master a full five-course meal?"

The return of the butler's usual way of speaking broke down the weak inhibitions of the Earl's tired brain. A mechanical nod, and Ciel stumbled behind the butler obediently, his mouth slightly open and eyes dreamy. Following like a true dog should, mused the demon contently.

The Indian pair looked up in surprise when the host re-entered the dining room. They must have presumed the brat had gone off to sulk. As if I would allow that. Ridiculous, Sebastian scoffed, his senses razor-sharp with anticipation. The finale is yet to come.

When Ciel was once again seated at the dinner table, Sebastian opened the ultimate platter with a grand flourish, revealing a fancy fruit salad arrangement. A large scoop of what appeared to be ice-cream gleamed in the center, its pink smoothness complimenting the deeper red of the surrounding cherries.

Overall, the dessert was appealing and completely normal. Guardedly, he stated with fake nonchalance, "Strawberry ice-cream, huh? I would have preferred chocolate." The Earl waited a moment, but no explanation was forthcoming. His butler was uncharacteristically silent.

Too excited to wait for formalities, Ciel sunk his spoon into the delicate pink mass, leaning forward and taking a huge bite.

Several things struck him at once. The first thing he noticed was the lack of sweetness. The ice-cream was gooey, like it had melted sometime during its journey from the bowl to his mouth, which was unlikely. Secondly, it did not taste much like strawberry; it appeared to be a conglomeration of a multitude of fruits, coming together in one discordant lump. And there was a suspicious aftertaste, almost of…sourness?

Brusquely, Ciel demanded, "What have you done to this dessert, Sebastian? It does not taste much like ice-cream." Disappointed, the Earl sniffed disparagingly. "Tsk. Such poor quality is unexpected of you as a Phantomhive butler."

Sebastian smiled; not a grin, not a smirk, but a smile. Ciel found the smile infinitesimally worse than any other expression of glee the butler had previously shown him.

"The reason it does not taste like ice-cream, young master, is simple. Its because it isn't ice-cream. It is actually fruit yogurt."

"….Fruit….yogurt…?"

Ciel was dumbfounded. He did not appreciate having his dreams of dessert wonderland shattered by this poor imitation of ice-cream. The fragile hope he had built up, shattered painfully and cruelly; he could not take a minute more of this.

With a low roar, Ciel sprung to his feet in a display of athletic prowess that quite astounded his unwitting audience, and swiftly jerked the tablecloth off, sending the dishes clamoring to the floor, spilling soup, salad, stew, everywhere.

Sebastian frowned. He might have expected such behavior from Soma, but he had believed the young master to be above such infantile displays. It seems that he is still a child at heart, despite his adult façade.

Soma gaped; Agni shook his head regretfully at the ruined meal. It was quite fearsome to see Ciel snap like that.

Exhausted by his herculean effort, Ciel leaned heavily on his chair, panting profusely. He found twisted satisfaction in the fact that Soma's chicken had also perished in the food avalanche. Serves him right for hogging so contently in front of me.

Standing tall in the midst of the wreckage, Ciel commanded imperiously, "Prepare the carriage, Sebastian. We are going to visit the doctor." Orders given, stomped out of the room without a backward glance, not a hint of apology on his lips.

Sebastian chuckled to himself. "My, my. Quite the sour grapes, isn't he?"

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Sebastian was lounging idly outside the dentist's room, as Ciel had given strict instructions not to enter unless he was specifically called for. Whiling away time in idle recollection, the demon savored the spectacular events of the day, etching each incident into memory.

After about an hour, the door opened, revealing a rather put-out dental fanatic and a smirking Earl.

"So, now I can eat anything I want, can't I?" Ciel demanded from the flustered dentist, cocking his head arrogantly, one eye fixed on the butler to ensure he was listening. The conversation was of supreme importance, after all.

"Y- yes, of course, my boy- um, sir…no, young master… but it is always better to stick to the diet. If you like, I can-"

"Your services are appreciated. Thank you for your time." Ciel interrupted rudely, already walking off with only a wave of goodbye.

Sebastian bowed to the doctor and hurried after his charge, inquiring curiously, "Really, what did you tell the dentist, young master?"

"I told him that if he was so fascinated by my wisdom tooth, then he could have it."

The butler was stunned into silence. After a few minutes of speculation and restrained disbelief, he finally asked the obvious, "You had your new tooth pulled out?"

Ciel confirmed with an arrogant smirk, smug satisfaction oozing from every pore in his body. The anesthesia was making him a bit woozy, but it helped keep the pain at bay, and also instilled a sense of giddy light-heartedness. In his good mood, Ciel decided to humor the butler by elaborating. "It was hindering me, so I removed it. I get rid of all those in my path, I am ruthless even to my own flesh and blood; why should the tooth be any different?"

Sebastian chuckled, shaking his head in amusement. "As always, the young master does very interesting things."

"Come Sebastian; let us proceed to the manor. I crave for some peace and quiet, and also for some heavenly chocolate gateau."

The demon bowed low, his inky locks framing his face as the boy walked off into the sunset. "Yes, my lord."

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Ciel was silent through most of this…too furious to even speak?

I hope it was clear who was saying what; if not, just let me know and I'll correct it.

A little note: Ciel has learnt his lesson. He hasn't touched most of the food in this chapter.

It was difficult to find dishes for Ciel's lunch; breakfast comprised items I was familiar with, so it was okay. Google search revealed health recipes which are made as tasty as possible; but I wanted awful stuff. Finally, I googled 'disgusting healthy food', and first on the list was 'fried tarantulas'. Ugh…tarantulas are spiders, aren't they?

I used to hate lentil soup when I was younger, but now I love it, especially with Turkish bread. I personally like plain milk and Rusk as well, so I'm not saying that any of these are awful dishes (as I put in the disclaimer). I think they would not be to Ciel's taste, though…

I noticed that I tend to alternate present and past tenses, and I put too many "..."; please do not hesitate to inform me of any mistakes or OOCness! Spelling errors are also plentiful, I would appreciate if you could point them out; I will correct them immediately.

This story has stretched far too long already; time to wrap things up! …So I say, but I could not resist adding another short little chapter (an omake of sorts) before marking this complete. So look out for the next and final chapter! (It may take some time though; I want to update my SebastianOC fic first)