…

WISDOM TOOTH

Omake: Tooth Fairy

…

I know this has been a long, long time in coming; and I apologize for the wait. I was side-tracked by other fics, and by real life pressures as well. I finally decided that today, 17/12/2014, my one-year anniversary on this website, I will either finish this fic or die trying. No seriously, I'm that determined. To my immense relief, this is the last chapter.

A big thanks to the lovely people who have seen this craziness through the end: lmncake (see below), promocat, ChellyBellyBeanBag, Kiara97, hikari-hime 01, sebastiansgirl, Ryuka32, coopt98, smart-blonde-the-oxymoron, FennecFoxPower, B. , Clockwork Silver, Death-Sama01, Kira-writer, LittleMissMexx, Lucy Phantomhive2, Misguided Ghost1, NarupokeeAurorafan, Princesspin, Ravarx, UniversalForce13, Vongolafan16, XXAnimeXFreaksXX, Zero Andreasen, cheshiregiggles, , Bellflower's tale EmmalinePhantomhive, Fire in a Dark Soul, HansBea98, Jen645, Raven Kimura, The Dark Lady55, TheReaperGrimm,arya304 and of course, the lovely guest reviewers. It amazes me that people still read this, despite how long ago it was published! Love you all so, so much!

Thanks to someone (guest) for pointing out that X-rays and floss didn't actually exist in Ciel's time. Oops! *chuckles awkwardly*

Virtual hugs to lmncake! You and I are sisters at heart, deriving pleasure from the torture of our beloved Kuroshitsuji characters. And we're fellow chocolate-worshippers as well; birds of the same feather through and through.

The usual disclaimer: I do not own Kuroshitsuji.

Without further ado, I present to you the final installment of dental dynamos… the Omake!

…

The next day…

"Ehh? Young master, you had your tooth removed?"

The Earl of Phantomhive sighed, lamenting his fortune at having the deadliest but also the most irritating and clueless of servants. "It was being a nuisance, so I got rid of it." The Earl did not go any further; explaining his reasoning and basking in the ensuing surprise was only enjoyable once.

Oh well, Ciel supposed his servants were not quite as annoying as his self-proclaimed friend. Soma had insisted on making open his mouth wide and inspecting the gap in his gums, more out of curiosity than concern. Only Agni's homemade remedies had made it halfway bearable.

Mey Rin let out a squeal of pure delight; as if it was her who was finally gaining freedom from the ridiculous food ban. "Congratulations young master! Aren't you excited?"

Relieved? Yes. Nourished? Most definitely. But Ciel could not fathom any reason for excitement of all emotions. The Queen's Guard Dog did not prance about wagging his tail in enthusiasm. That sort of behavior was reserved for the innocent and the frivolous (and, apparently, his servants).

Fortunately for Ciel, Bard voiced his query, albeit with a distinct lack of the Earl's grace. "Excited? Whaddya mean?"

"Why, you oughta be thrilled, young master! After all, the Tooth Fairy is coming to grant your wishes!"

Bard released a long-suffering sigh; probably mentally lamenting his foolishness for asking such a question. Finny's eyes widened, his childish face displaying all the aforementioned excitement that was so lacking in his young employer's face. Sebastian adopted a neutral expression, merely observing the unfolding drama (At the Phantomhive Manor, when was anything not an event?); while Tanaka provided his customary input of 'ho ho ho'.

"Fairy? You mean those little ladies with wings and wands who can do magic and grant wishes?" Finny was far too gullible for his own good; if not for his super-strength, he would definitely be destined for an early grave. The scarlet-haired maid nodded vigorously, beaming exuberantly while the cook rolled his eyes in the background.

A few moments of disbelief, then "Tooth fairy…" Ciel repeated with the profound skepticism only nobles and other elites (snobs) were capable of. As to be expected, the Earl was superbly unimpressed, maintaining a haughty façade while inwardly indulging his eccentric task force's infantile mannerisms.

But Mey Rin was undaunted, and proceeded to recount the children's myth with great pomp and ceremony. "All you have to do is place the fallen tooth under your pillow, and in the morning, you'll find a present the tooth fairy left especially for you!"

Finny 'oohed' in delight, enchanted by the fairy-tale and its zealous reiteration. The story held extra magic for the innocent gardener – his super-strength fortified his gums and teeth (stronger than the average toothpaste), making them permanent and incapable of falling (though not incapable of breaking, a fact Finny testified repeatedly), and thus depriving him of a chance to meet the glorious tooth fairy. Nevertheless, he was positively exhilarated by the dramatic rendition of the miniature goddess' tale.

Mey Rin seemed to take great pleasure in her captive (sole) audience, and she began gesticulating in excitement, adding a bit of extra flourish to each dramatic twist. "The tooth fairy wears a golden dress which glimmers and sparkles in the night light, she floats in the air like a beautiful butterfly… When everyone is asleep, she sneaks into the child's bedroom and takes the tooth under the pillow for safekeeping. The, she waves her wand, and voila! A little present for a precious little child!"

Mey Rin was more fascinated with the cloak and dagger sneaking of the mythical pixie goddess rather than the actual gift. It was actually quite surprising that a fan of suspense and horror even knew of the children's myth (Mey Rin seemed more of a' boogeyman' admirer). Fortunately for her, the young Earl decided to forego any sort of comment or protest at her contentious phrasing of 'precious little child'.

The fantastical narrative enchanted the young gardener, who was hanging on the maid's every word. Indeed, he was the only one truly paying attention to ex-shooter's tale, much to the third servant's disapproval (Finny was a boy; he should not be so ecstatic at glamorous gowns and fluttering butterflies). Nevertheless, Finny's obvious wonder somewhat helped to offset the supreme indifference of the room's other occupants.

Bard scoffed almost continually, but his pessimism (or realism) was ignored in favor of the more appealing fable (by Finny) or just plain ignored (by Ciel, who was more pessimistic than the ex-soldier). The young earl was unmoved, either by Mey Rin's elaborate rendition or by Finny's star-struck gaze.

Sebastian, on the other hand, was paying careful attention to the exploits of the tiny tooth-collector; no doubt cataloging the information in his devilish bottomless mind for future reference. Or at least, what he understood of it.

"Collecting teeth... tell me, is this similar to the ancient human tribes' customs of wearing teeth around their neck? …Though I seem to recall those necklaces bearing teeth of prey, not those of the humans themselves…"*

Ciel mentally groaned. Trust the butler to develop a curiosity for human customs at the most irritating of times.

Mey Rin was still running like a steam engine at full speed. "And it's the young master's wisdom tooth, too! Your first wisdom tooth; that is a sure reason to celebrate! I'm sure the fairy will definitely visit! All you have to do is leave the tooth under your pillow, young master; and in the morning, your wish will be granted!"

Faced with the considerable force of Mey-Rin's twinkling eyes and Finny's puppyish drooling, Ciel had no option but to sigh and relent. "I'll think about it. Now leave me alone."

The servants drifted away at the clear dismissal; the butler in particular anxious to assign tasks before the idiot three could get …creative with their chores. At the last moment, Sebastian was called back by a rather smug looking Earl. "Oh, and Sebastian?"

"Yes, young master?"

"I want you to bring back those sweet factory reports from before. I wasn't wholly concentrated when I looked through them." Sebastian hid a slight grin behind his hair; his master's sugar-deprivation had been amusing indeed.

But Ciel was far from done. "In fact, to make better production decisions, I shall sample a small quantity of each and every item in their product mix. Of course, you will be preparing them. Only the best quality of any item should be used to judge whether it is worthy of being circulated among the public under the Phantomhive brand." Not even bothering to hide his smirk, the Earl added, "As a start, an éclair would do nicely, I think…."

The butler nodded politely while concealing an inward sigh. Revenge was sweet, he supposed; though he enjoyed it much better when he had the upper hand.

…

Sebastian was on the fifteenth mini-sample when the red-haired maid made her appearance in the kitchen (As usual, the cook had been prohibited, while the gardener had been politely requested to stay out). Without preamble, she went straight to the point. "Mister Sebastian, I would like to humbly request your co-operation in the matter of the young master's tooth."

The butler blinked, surprised by the formality and the seriousness in her tone. Mentally berating the maid's untimely interruption, Sebastian attempted to reason with her. "Mey-Rin, the young master has not shown even a smidgen of interest in the tooth fairy. And he does not always heed my counsel; I have no doubt he would dismiss any plea I make in this regard. Perhaps it is wiser to simply leave him be?"

"There is really no such thing as a tooth fairy, Mister Sebastian." Mey-Rin offered sensibly, showing not even the slightest compunction at retracting her passionate words from only a moment before. Well, perhaps it was better to have this conversation in private. Finny would be so heart-broken.

Mey-Rin began to explain, her eyes glimmering and earnest, very different from her former star-struck wishful-thinking prattle. Sebastian was reminded once more than the humans in his master's employ were really much sterner and hardened than they seemed.

"When you really get to the heart of the matter, it's just an excuse to celebrate the young master's growing up, it is! Presents usually given by parents or grandparents… but the young master doesn't have anyone like that, does he?" Momentarily, Mey Rin's face fell in sympathy, her expression gentle and almost motherly. The fleeting softness was soon gone, replaced by grim determination. "We're the closest to a family that boy has; so it is only right that we do this for him. And it's also a good cause for us; a reason to give him something, a bit of thanks for everything he's done for us all through the years. We owe it to him, we all do! Doesn't he deserve this bit of happiness?"

Sebastian pondered the matter silently; Mey Rin did not press him for a response. Assured in her confidence that she had done all she could, and that the enigmatic butler knew best, the maid retired to her quarters with a parting, "Please think about it, Mister Sebastian. In the end, we are the young master's tooth fairies."

As the last strand of red hair rounded past the corner, the black-clad demon murmured, "Well, gold is not really my color… but then again, vengeance is hardly on the average child's wish list."

…

Bedtime, the young Earl's chambers…

Bedtime preparations in the Phantomhive manor were elaborate, as expected of a haughty child noble. Fluffing up the pillows as Ciel yawned (with satisfied drowsiness induced by a full belly); Sebastian broached the topic, "What about the fairy, young master? Are you not going to leave a tooth under your pillow?"

The Earl scoffed and rolled his eyes, sliding languidly under the sheets. "There is no way I would actually participate in this madness. Besides, I don't have a tooth to sacrifice to the dental deity." The last words were spoken with the acerbity reserved solely for the fools of Scotland Yard and the insufferable Viscount of Druitt.

Grinning smugly like he was sharing a big secret, the butler retorted, "Now, I wouldn't say that, Young master…"

Extending a gloved hand into his breast pocket, the demon pulled out a small white blob of enamel. Ciel gasped, staring hard at his wisdom tooth, formerly the prized possession of a raving dentist. "My tooth? But... but how?"

Cue twinkling red eyes and self-satisfied smug. Ciel grimaced. He really should think twice about giving Sebastian an opportunity to show off. "Contrary to you humans and your pitiful means of transport, I am quite capable of making a quick jaunt to London and returning in time for dinner preparations." Could that smile shine any brighter?

Accepting the tiny molar, Ciel examined it idly, realizing that the shapeless object was the cause of all his recent torture. Shaking himself from the sudden upsurge of dislike, he attempted to visualize the object in his palm as something that was in his mouth not a day ago. If possible, he felt even sicker.

"I returned to Harley Street after sorting out the Young Master's evening mail. Suffice to say, I managed to procure the necessary ingredient for the young master's coming-of-age ritual."

The Earl was tempted to point out that the tooth fairy was not a coming of age ritual; rather, belief in such an infantile fairytale was proof of immaturity. Shrugging halfheartedly, the Earl stuffed the offending piece of anatomy under his satisfactorily-puffed-up pillows.

It must have pained the dentist to be parted from his miracle 'pearly-white', Ciel mused, hoping that the dentist had also suffered physical and psychological agony for all the trouble he put the young earl through. Now he would know better than to mess with the Queen's watchdog and his cunningly sweet tooth.

Smoothing out the bedcovers over the prone lad, the demon purred, "It is time for you to retire, my lord. You have had quite a hectic week, have you not?"

"…milk and honey first."

…

The first thing the Earl of Phantomhive did when he woke was check under his pillow for his thrice-cursed and possibly once-blessed (by the supposed tooth fairy) molar.

Despite himself, Ciel was looking forward to whatever 'present' Sebastian had orchestrated. After all, the butler never scrimped with half-measures, always preferring to make things as extravagant as possible.

Under the Earl's pillow was not one, but a full set of teeth in dental casing, undeniably human and impossibly shiny. Repulsed, Ciel demanded, "Sebastian, what exactly is this?"

The butler smiled innocently, "A gift from the tooth fairy, young master."

Looking back at his 'gift', Ciel could no repress a shudder, all his silver tongue deserting him. "They are real teeth. Human teeth. A full set." Almost trembling, he spat out, "Whose teeth are they, Sebastian?"

The butler tilted his head to the side in consideration, stroking the Earl's anger with a slow chuckle. "Why, young master, can you not guess?"

A brief moment of incomprehension; then the Earl gasped softly as the answer (obvious really, when he thought about it) came to him. Sebastian acknowledged the realization with a feral smirk. "I must admit the dentist found it quite hard to extol the virtues of a healthy diet without his so called pearly-whites."

The Earl remembered his thoughts straying to the much-loathed doctor only the previous night, mentally willing the man to suffer for his impertinence. "Be careful what you wish for…" Ciel chuckled dryly. "Not that I particularly regret it."

"Very well then, Sebastian; I thank you for this wonderful coming-of-age gift" Ciel offered sarcastically, harnessing his usual vitriol to mask his queasiness at the morbid present his butler deigned to leave on his bedsheet. Ciel repressed a sudden burst of nausea. The sheets were definitely due for a wash.

Apparently, the butler was not done. "No no, young master, the doctor's teeth are his gift to you, - a compensation, shall we say? - no matter how unwilling he was to relinquish them." The demon chuckled darkly, "I believed he would appreciate the role of tooth fairy, seeing as he considered himself a priest of the tooth temple."

Ciel snickered despite himself, marveling at the butler's twisted sense of humor.

"I have yet to present my offering as the young master's …tooth fairy." The butler barely masked his distaste for his role; but Ciel was not paying attention. He was too busy wallowing in apprehension about his second 'gift'.

"I am unaccustomed to the concept of gifting, although I believe symbolism has a great role to play in this attribute of human culture. Do you remember, young master; when we first met?"

Ciel's expression darkened. He clearly remembered, and did not like the memory one bit.

"You said that the only way to cleanse that place was to burn it, to destroy it beyond recognition so that its malevolence escapes to the skies or crumbles into the earth." Ciel nodded, frowning as he recalled all the horrors he had suffered at that place. "I decided to apply your teachings to the current situation."

Out of nowhere, the butler produced a crisp, neatly-folded newspaper, opened at the blazing headlines of "FIRE AT DENTIST'S OFFICE. TWO PERISH."

Ciel scanned the article, aghast. "Taking his teeth was not enough; you took his life as well?"

The black-clothed man only smiled contently, "What kind of butler would I be if I was unable to tune into my young master's unspoken wishes?"

Ciel closed his eyes for a moment, the boy in him struggling, his fading bit of conscience revolting against the thought of innocent lives destroyed for his cause. But the Queen's guard-dog, enforcer of London's underworld and killer of many, won out. Ciel opened his eyes, one startlingly blue orb blazing with the heathen contract mark, and smirked devilishly. "Indeed... so I suppose I don't have to mention what celebratory dessert I want today, do I?"

"It will be done to your satisfaction, young master." Bowing dutifully, the black butler murmured too softly for human ears, "After all, what kind of demon would I be if I could not even impersonate a god?"

…

I gave Mey-Rin a bit of character aside from her clumsy-maid-persona; kind of like adding depth to her personality. Maybe OOC, bit still…

Sorry for the morbidity, especially if any of you believe in the tooth fairy. Well, this is Kuroshitsuji; what did you expect? BTW, in the * part, I was tempted to put in "Perhaps the tooth fairy is a cannibal with a unique appetite?..." But I decided that was a bit too much. Thoughts?

Its over! Its over! Its finally over! Its certainly a relief to get this unfinished business out of the back of my mind. For those waiting for an update of 'The Devil's Apprentice', I'm afraid I've run into a couple of plot issues; so it might take me a while to get back to it. However, in the six-odd months I set this aside, I published works in Naruto, Bleach and Death Note. Much obliged if you could check them out.

Once again, thanks to everyone for reading, reviewing, favorite-ing and following!