A/N: Warning: potential attempted emotional chapter ahead :) Multiplayer games of BG2 have taken up entirely too much of my weekend so far, however, so it's fairly short, but I couldn't find a way to lengthen it up without diluting what was already inside, so... here goes!


General disclaimer: I own nothing, even Maiyn generally decides her own path.

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Moving On

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Jaheira sat in the empty common room as dawn broke. It was too late for the delivery boys to still be popping in with supplies for the kitchen, and too early for even the seasoned drinkers to have appeared, so the druid was taking full advantage of the peace and quiet.

Her thoughts were dominated by Khalid. He came to her in her dreams almost every night, smiling from afar, always fading away before she could get close. But last night, it had been slightly different; he had still disappeared as she scrambled across rough ground to reach him, but he'd spoken for the first time as he did. We will meet. Just three words, three words that could be interpreted a thousand different ways. It had been enough to break the half-elf's steely composure, as she'd awoken and dissolved into silent sobs, dragging herself from the room she shared with the slumbering Maiyn before she disturbed the ranger.

Her tears were spent now, but the words echoed in her head. I will wait until I can be with you, my love, she thought over and over again, hoping that if he was truly with her, he would hear them. She sighed and looked out of the grimy window, noting the rain falling heavily on the street outside. A fire burned low before her, and she had wrapped herself in a blanket before she descended. Bernard had already begun his shift, bringing her a cup of hot tea, but leaving her in peace without even asking if it was what she wanted. He had just known.

So many times she'd been in this situation; a roof over her head, warmth and acceptable comfort, although it was always only temporary. It had been satisfactory though -- her home had moved along with her, her life was her husband. Now, without him, all the hot tea in Faerun couldn't warm the chill in her heart.

Kivan sat down quietly beside her, but she realised he was there more by his presence than by her hearing. They sat in silence for a few moments, then she turned to face him wearily and smiled weakly.

"Did you rest well?"

The elf shrugged slightly. "As well as can be expected." On their arrival back at the inn the previous evening, Kivan had immediately stalked up to the rooms for rent, Bernard and Jaheira close behind him. The bartender had suggested likely rooms for their search of the halfling boy's murderer, and they'd found him before long. When Maiyn asked him about the bear, he'd become aggressive, and lunged at her with his knife. Kivan's spear had ended his life there and then, the toy recovered from his murderous grasp. It had taken the effort of the whole group to stop Kivan from returning to the graveyard straight away with it; Maiyn pointing out that the little boy would be too weak to claim it until the following evening. He had merely nodded grimly, and stalked off to bed without another word.

"You remember we spoke of Coran," he asked quietly. His gaze was seemingly fixed somewhere in the distance, his expression faraway. Jaheira didn't know what he had been thinking about, but she could guess.

"Yes. Do you still think it would be wise to send a message?"

Kivan sighed heavily, and for a moment a look of pain and grief flashed across his face. Jaheira was aware of his tale; how he'd lost his partner to brigands led by Tazok, how he'd tried to take their torture and pain to keep her alive. In the end, he'd failed, and she'd died, and he blamed himself for not taking her own life before they could; for denying himself the chance to send her to Arvanaith, and join her soon after when they, in turn, ended his own.

He had never hidden the fact that he intended to seek out a passage to his beloved Deheriana after they had dealt with Sarevok in Baldur's Gate. But, as events had it, he'd deferred his own business, realising that he couldn't leave his friends to face the future alone. He sacrificed his own peace of mind for them on a daily business, but never complained; never once blamed them for it. Jaheira admired him quietly in that regard -- her opinion of him had changed steadily over the time they'd spent together, when she'd initially worried that his lust for revenge would have a negative impact on the impressionable young Maiyn. Instead, the stoic ranger had become a brotherly figure to her, not always vocal or obvious in his presence, but unwaveringly there for her, no matter what happened.

"I think we should," he said at last. "There is no need to let her know what we do, for the mention of his name upsets her greatly."

"She has all but forbidden it, in any regard," noted Jaheira dryly.

Kivan smiled slightly as he looked at the half-elf. "She seeks to protect herself from the memory, and the pain."

"We all do," she replied softly. They sat in silence for a few more minutes before Jaheira stood. "I will go and find Bernard. He will know of a reliable messenger to travel to the Gate. I will see what I can arrange, and compose a brief note to the woman who cares for him. Bernard will accept any message for us that returns in our absence, and we can come to collect it when we have time in the future."

Kivan nodded, and she drifted away to seek out the bartender. He sighed as he leant forward, his elbows on his knees, and his hands covering his face. That was how Maiyn discovered him, and she asked if he was feeling all right, her voice full of concern.

"I am," he said, drawing himself back up abruptly. "You awaken early today -- is all well with you?"

"I am no longer tired," she replied simply, looking briefly at the teacup. "So Jaheira did come down earlier. I thought I heard her leaving the room."

"She has gone to see Bernard."

"I see. I... I was wondering if you would do something for me. Well, with me, really." Maiyn looked at Kivan hopefully, and he couldn't help but smile slightly.

"That depends what it is."

"I miss Verya." Maiyn had bid farewell to her feline companion as they arrived back at the city; the cat shirked away from the mass of people, communing to her that she would stay out in the wilds, but find the ranger again when she was next out in the open. The elf had been sad as she watched her go, but understood the necessity; wandering through Athkatla with a lynx by her side would have done little to aid her blending in.

"You wish to leave town and call to her?"

Maiyn nodded. "Not for long; just to make sure she is all right. I... I have a feeling I won't see her again, for a while. I want to say goodbye properly."

Kivan frowned with concern, but he didn't push the subject. Instead he stood up, and reached out to pull Maiyn up from her own seat. "Go and put on your cloak, and ensure you wear warm clothes. The weather is less than pleasant today, and if we are to go out into the open, we need to be prepared."

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They informed Jaheira of their intention, and the druid nodded tiredly to them both, saying she would take the chance to get some extra rest. It was doubtful any of the others would rise particularly early, and even if they did, they knew to wait downstairs until the party had gathered, or to seek out the others in their rooms, before wandering off alone.

So the two rangers made their way down the muddy roads, which turned to cobbles as they reached closer to the gates. They walked mostly in silence, but it was comfortable and familiar. It was Maiyn who broke the quiet first.

"I never managed to say thank you."

"What for?"

"For everything." Kivan chuckled softly, and Maiyn smiled at him with a trace of amusement. "I'm being serious."

"I know you are," he assured her. "I know better than to remind you that you have nothing to thank me for."

Maiyn shrugged. "It is especially for the night of the ball."

Kivan tensed slightly, waiting for her to continue. She had not willingly discussed the evening since it happened, but it was all too recent in his mind for him to have forgotten. She had looked elegant, a far-cry from the clumsy appearing ranger that he was so used to seeing. A grace seemed to come over her as she was dressed up in fine materials and jewels, but her face was sad, and there was no sparkle in her eyes that he had been so used to. She'd begged him to accompany her, and he'd met her at her room in the Baldur's Gate palace, escorting her to the ball that was being held in their honour -- as heroes of the city. The others were there, being merry, enjoying the event. Maiyn had barely remained in the room for a minute before pulling on his sleeve, and asking to leave.

So they had. She'd gone to see Coran, talking to him quietly as he slept, oblivious to her presence. He hadn't known at the time, but she was saying her goodbyes, preparing herself for the likelihood of never seeing him again. Kivan had waited outside for her, and when she'd re-emerged from the room, she'd asked him to wait there for her a bit longer. When she returned, she was back in her armour; she handed him two letters, and received from him a promise. A promise that he'd see Coran safely to the home of the mother of his child.

And then Maiyn had left. He had not tried to stop her, for it would have been futile. But what if he had -- would anything have turned out differently? Would Dynaheir and Khalid have lived? Would Maiyn have resented him, and pushed him away? They were questions that no one knew the answers to, but ones he felt pointless to dwell on. What had happened, happened; people were taken from life for no apparent reason all the time. He was only too familiar with that.

She spoke again, and her voice was enough to pull him from his thoughts. She explained what he'd already assumed; her need to get away was partly to try and protect her friends, and partly to try and protect herself from the pain of losing anyone else. It had been a spur of the moment decision, brought on by her realisation that Coran would never be with her again, and so she had nothing to stay behind for.

"We tried so hard to make it work, despite what was thrown at us. To have him... to have it end, as it did... it isn't fair."

"I know, mellonamin," he whispered. She paused, and looked to him as he tried to fight the emotion from creeping onto his face. Her hand met his, and together they squeezed, offering the support they'd come to realise was always available from the other.

"You will rejoin Deheriana," said Maiyn confidently. "I know you will."

"I hope so," he replied quietly. "I hope to see you there too, by Coran's side."

Maiyn made a small choking noise as she looked away. "It is over. When I die, only the taint will remain, and it will drift off to join the taint in others, as it slowly amasses for the final carrier. There will be nothing of me, and nothing to go to Arvanaith with. It is pointless."

"And now you sound like Xan." He noticed her flush slightly at the mention of the enchanter's name, and her hand was suddenly withdrawn from his. Her pace picked up, and she strode through the city gates, heading to the nearest copse of woods that lay less than a mile from the edge of Athkatla. He watched her curiously as he followed; the closeness she'd kindled with the mage was not unknown to him, but her reaction was only fuelling the suspicion he'd began to have. It was a situation he would have to observe carefully.

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Verya appeared almost immediately, almost as if she'd expected the ranger to come and visit. Kivan gave them some time alone, a distant witness once more to Maiyn's emotional goodbyes. Before long the cat bounded off, and Maiyn returned to his side, nodding her conclusion. They walked back to the town silently, arriving at the inn to find their companions settled around the familiar table, listening intently to Yoshimo's idea of a joke.

Maiyn excused herself to head upstairs to change; her cloak was soaked through by the rain, and she looked cold and miserable. Jaheira arched an eyebrow at Kivan as she left, and the ranger signalled for the druid to join him at the bar. He quickly outlined the feeling he had about Xan, and asked the half-elf if Bernard had tracked down a messenger.

Jaheira frowned as she nodded. "He knew of one immediately," she said thoughtfully. "He was sent for, and arrived not long after you had both left. In that time I had scribed enough of a letter for him to carry -- he would have left an hour ago, at least."

Kivan sighed, and nudged the druid as he looked over towards the stairs. She followed his gaze, and noticed the cause of his look of concern; Xan had rose from the table, and was climbing the stairs, undoubtedly on his way to seek out their leader.

"What do we do?" asked Jaheira, sounding helpless for the first time since Kivan had met her.

"We leave her to find her own heart," he replied quietly. "We still don't know if we harbour false hopes for Coran's condition; it may be that she is right, and it is time for her to move on."

"Perhaps," replied Jaheira. Her tone suggested she didn't believe it for one second.

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"Come in." Maiyn didn't bother trying to sound cheerful for the benefit of whoever had knocked on her door. Her walk with Kivan had been a melancholy affair; she'd felt her closeness to him grow again, his steadfast loyalty bringing a stability to her fickle world; but he was hopelessly involved and associated with all the things that made her sad. And so her misery was directly related to the thoughts that her brain couldn't or wouldn't shut out, that had been brought up by their conversations.

It wasn't his fault though; there was no one else she would feel comfortable talking to about such matters. Jaheira was far too stricken with a hidden grief for Maiyn to be able to trouble further. Minsc was loyal and caring and kind, but not the person the elf would think of as being there to help with emotional issues. Imoen had been taken from her, Xan would merely inform her on how it was all pointless, and she'd soon be dead -- also, the source of her woe threatened to cause him even more pain than it did her. She barely knew Anomen and Yoshimo, and Khalid and Dynaheir were dead.

Kivan was important to her in many ways, but not least of all because of her unique relationship with him. So similar they were, but they also had a world of difference between them. It was a special friendship and bond, and one Maiyn had treasured dearly since the first day they'd met, and the stoic ranger had witnessed her trying to knock the head off a skeleton as he watched in a bemused silence.

She wasn't wholly surprised to find Xan standing behind her, having closed the door behind him. He looked concerned, and she forced a smile onto her face as she regarded him.

"You look upset," he observed.

Maiyn sighed. A simple sigh was not going to fool him this time. "I am just cold and wet and miserable," she explained. "The weather is awful."

"Why are you miserable?" He moved over to her, and helped her as she removed her cloak, heavy as it was with the rain that had soaked into it. She thanked him, avoiding his question until he repeated it.

"Only because I am cold and wet," she replied. She met his glance, staring at him unblinkingly.

It was his turn to sigh. "Occasionally, I wish you would trust me with your feelings, as you trust Kivan."

His words hit her with a force she hadn't been prepared with, and she gaped at him slightly. "I'm... I don't hide things from you."

"No," he acknowledged. "You just prefer to avoid sharing them except when you are drunk."

Maiyn flushed at his words, and sat down on the edge of her bed. Xan couldn't help but smile at her expression as he sat beside her, reaching out to place his hand over hers. "I am sure I can guess what is wrong. I will hide my frustration at the ease in which you confide in Kivan, when really it is just my jealousy speaking."

She looked up to him. "Would you really want to know? It would involve talking about memories we'd both find difficult to share with each other, about choices that were made, and... and people of the past." Her voice faded at the last few words, and the enchanter's arm went across her shoulder, pulling her into an embrace.

"Shhh," he said softly. "We both know what the past entails, and I am just being foolish with my words. Just know that I am always here for you, Maiyn. Whatever you need, if I can provide it, I will. You just have to ask."

She drew away from him slightly, and started at him for a few moments with a completely serious expression. "Don't say that when you don't mean it," she stated simply. "You know there are some things that you won't do, despite your longing. Despite my longing."

"Maiyn..."

"See?"

Xan sighed. "Why must you make things more difficult than they are? Is it not enough that I have stayed by your side all this time? Despite everything that has happened, and everything that has transpired? Is it not enough to know my feelings for you, without me having to make a fool of myself once more by offering to give to you something you don't want?"

"But I do want it," she whispered, her hands rising up to stroke at his cheek softly. "Circumstances have changed, and you cannot compare what happened before, to how we are now."

Xan tried to pull away, but her touch was so gentle and caring that he found himself unable to. He closed his eyes, sighing heavily as he realised what he was about to do. His head told him that it was wrong, that he should stand, and walk from the room. But for once his heart was voicing an opinion on the matter, and its voice was louder.

He opened his eyes, and stared back into the eyes that had once been a striking shade of blue. Now they were spotted with gold, giving them a greenish hue from a distance; he found his face getting close enough to be able to spot the two different colours vividly, however, before their lips met and locked. A kiss was shared that lingered for longer than he had thought would be possible, and instead of a guilty break, it finished naturally, with their foreheads resting against each other, their noses rubbing together gently before they melted into a tight embrace.

He didn't let go of her for a long time, and she was content to stay in his arms. She gently nuzzled at his neck as he kissed her hair, and together they wondered what they were getting into.