-26th November-
"Hello Rodney." Zelenka said entering the lab that apart from the two physicist was deserted. Receiving a grunt in response Radek approached Rodney and said. "I thought you may want some coffee."
"Thank you." Rodney replied.
"How are you doing?"
"Seeing I just killed someone, great."
"What happened is not your fault." Radek said.
"Really?" Rodney said. "Is that your professional opinion?"
"It is my opinion as your friend. None of us saw it coming."
"I should have done. But I didn't. All I did was add to her stress."
"How?"
"I told her I loved her."
"You did?" Radek asked surprised.
"Yeah."
"I'm sorry, I didn't realise you had feelings for her."
"Yes well I think I'm giving up on that, Katie I drove from the Galaxy and Jennifer I drove her to suicide."
"I am sure your declaration did not drive her to suicide, if anything it would have given her a reason for living."
"Yet, she chose not to. I have done every test I can think of and there is no other explanation. There is nothing out of the ordinary."
"I'm sorry Rodney." Radek said before leaving the lab, almost walking into John on the other side of the door.
"How is he?" John asked.
"Not good. He blames himself." Radek said. "And Colonel I'm worried about him, he is being nice."
"I'll talk to him." John assured him before entering the lab.
"Hey Rodney."
"Sheppard."
"Found anything?"
"No, but you weren't really expecting me to were you?"
"We can hope." John said.
"Well the hope is in vain. I have done every test I can think of. Well, every test I can run without a body. I take it they still haven't found her?"
"No. Until the Daedalus gets here there's not much hope and even then we may never find her." John said before awkwardly asking. "So you okay, I mean considering everything?"
"Great." Rodney replied with a hint of sarcasm. "You?"
"Yeah. You want to talk?"
"No." Rodney said, pausing before asking. "You?"
"No." John said as an awkward silence descended. A silence finally broken by John saying. "You know if you ever change your mind I'm here?"
"Yeah, thanks. And Sheppard, you know you can talk to me?" McKay reciprocated.
"Yeah." John said, feeling more uncomfortable. "Do you want to get out of the city for a bit?"
"You are seriously suggesting going on a mission? Shooting Wraith may work for you and Conon, but it doesn't factor in my grieving process."
"I wasn't talking about a Wraith mission. I was thinking someone should tell Carson. Do you want part of the mission?" John asked.
"Yeah, Carson will blame himself." Rodney said.
-00-
"Dr Zelenka, thank you for coming up. Please shut the door."
Nervously the scientist secured the door and sat opposite Woolsey, wondering why he had been summoned and why he had been asked not to tell Rodney about the meeting.
"How are you?" Woolsey asked.
"Okay." Zelenka replied.
"And Dr McKay?"
"He is … he is still in shock and still blaming himself." Zelenka explained.
"I keep replaying Dr Keller's last week in my head, wondering if I could have done something different, wondering if I had missed something." Woolsey confessed. "The more I think about it the more I am convinced something isn't right."
"How do you mean?"
"Dr Keller was overworked and feeling the burden that this galaxy places on people, but she was not suicidal."
"I didn't think so either, but Miller and Burke saw her jump."
"I don't care what they say they saw, Dr Keller was a strong woman, I refuse to accept she jumped of her own free will."
"You think they pushed her?" Radek asked.
"I don't know what I think. But I am hoping you can bring some clarity to my thinking."
"Me? How?"
"Can you review the sensor information from the lab from when it happened?"
"Of course, but Rodney already did that. One minute there was a lifesign the next there wasn't."
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but the resolution of the scans he looked at was rather coarse."
"That is correct. He changed it to try and extend the range of the sensors to outside the city to find her body. When he pulled up the data of her last few minutes it was still at the coarse scale. It is possible to reprocess that data and get a higher resolution. What do you hope to see?"
"Something that makes sense." Woolsey said. "But Dr Zelenka, please don't tell anyone what I have asked you to do and please only share the results with me. I don't want to make things worse for those badly affected by her death."
"Of course." Radek smiled sadly. "I'll let you know when the data is ready to view."
"Thank you."
-00-
Jennifer stood in the infirmary, surrounded by the equipment she understood best, hoping to get inspiration. Yet unable to interact with anyone or anything she was growing frustrated and angry. She was also feeling guilty at the needless grief everyone was going through due to her bad luck.
"So do you want to cooperate yet?" Her one solid, yet unwanted, companion asked approaching Jennifer who instinctively flinched away from him.
"I will never help you." Jennifer said.
"You will. Ultimately you have no choice. It is not like we are asking you do something you don't like. We just want you to work for us."
"Work for you? Doing what?"
"What you do here. Wraith research."
"What is it you are after, immortality?"
"No. Hybrids. My employers want a hybrid army."
"Not happening." Jennifer said.
"Again you have no choice. Surely you must have realised that there will be no rescue, your friends and colleagues believe you are dead. Dr McKay has as good as proved it. They are so caught up blaming themselves they don't even consider the possibility you are still alive. I never realised everyone thought you were so fragile."
As much as Jennifer wanted to argue, having spent hours roaming the city listening to conversations, she was reaching the same conclusion.
"We can offer you a good life. The people you will work for will appreciate your talents."
"Who are your employers?" Jennifer asked.
"You'll find out when you meet them."
"Who exactly are you?" Jennifer pressed.
"I'm just a lost soul with a new purpose and an expanded bank account." He smiled.
"For someone who keeps saying I will never be rescued you are very protective of the information you are telling me."
"I have been told not to tell you who my employers are." He shrugged. "It is not my place to question them."
"Because they pay you not to question them?" Jennifer guessed.
"Living up to your genius status I see." He replied. "I will leave you to your contemplation. He makes no difference to me whether or not you have accepted your fate before the Daedalus arrives." He said before walking away. "Oh, one more thing. I have left your rations for today on your desk. I suggest you use them."
-00-
"Colonel." Woolsey said seeing John in the door frame. "Come in. What can I do for you?"
"I need to go off world." John said, jumping straight to the point.
"Colonel we have just lost Dr Keller, I can't in good conscience have your team go on a mission. None of you are in the right frame of mind."
"It is not a mission, not really. I, well we, want to find Carson and let him know what has happened. Carson was Keller's mentor. He'd want to know. Also, it couldn't hurt bringing him back for a while."
"Are you sure you want to be the one to tell him?" Woolsey asked.
"He deserves to hear it from us."
"Do you even know where to look?" Woolsey asked. "It has been weeks since we heard from him."
"We know his last location, we'll start there. If we don't find him a week we'll come back."
"In your absence who will be in charge of the military contingent?"
"It should be Lorne, but I think Teldy may be a better choice at the moment."
"Will it be all your team going?" Woolsey asked.
"Yes." John said before falling silent as Woolsey considered his request.
"Very well, you can go as soon as you are ready." Woolsey said.
"Thank you."
"And Colonel." Woolsey called after him. "Take care of yourself."
A/N: Thanks for reading. Next chapter up soon.