After Souda's teacher finished yelling at him after school about missed work and decreasing class participation, the disgruntled mechanic trudged into the hallway, where Nanami was playing her game and Hinata was leaning against the wall, trying not to fall asleep.
"Okay, guys, are you ready?" Souda asked, fists on his hips.
Hinata glared and Nanami said nothing.
"Awesome! Let's go," he said, pointing down the hallway dramatically and setting off ahead of the other two. "All systems go, Operation: Library Lookout is in progress!"
"Do we really have to call it that? This is bad enough already," Hinata muttered.
"..."
"Nanami?"
"Hm? Oh, I think it's kind of exciting," the gamer finally said, smiling softly. "We're like Agent 006½ in Secret Agent: The Hunt for Red Rock Rover, walking through labyrinths of bookshelves, avoiding enemies and landmines until we reach the our objective, the main fortress..."
Hinata blinked slowly. "Uh, I don't think it's exactly like that."
"...Maybe not, but it has the same general idea."
Hinata sighed, lamenting that he had actually grown used to Nanami's obscure game references. "Did he really have to make it an alliterative title, though...?"
"Ah, I think it's somewhat catchy."
"Hey, what're you guys talkin' about back there?" Souda demanded, turning around to face the duo and walking backwards down the hallway.
"I'm really not sure if you want to know," Hinata grumbled.
"Okay, whatever, leave me outta your little lover's conversation." Hinata started to object, his face turning slightly pink, but was interrupted by Souda's enthusiastic ranting. "Let's talk plans! So I was thinkin' that once we find 'em, I can just listen real close and hear what they're sayin', and if they're doin' any couple-y stuff like holdin' hands or makin' goo-goo eyes, then we can come up with some sort of distraction."
"That's awful," Hinata said after a pause. "Do you really think that one distraction is going to stop them from getting together if that's what they want to do?"
"Hey, it's a start. We can come up with bigger schemes later, but I didn't have much time to think of anythin' complicated."
"I'm sorry, did you say 'we'?"
"Yeah!" Souda said brightly. "You and me, we're like... soul friends! We can get into all kinds a' shenanigans and do bro stuff!"
Hinata thought about this for a moment. "Does that mean that Nanami doesn't always have to come along on these stalking expeditions?"
"Not if she doesn't want to... and hey, I'm not stalkin' anyone! I'm just doin' what I have to do."
"What makes you think Sonia wants to date you, anyway?"
"Why would you ask somethin' like that? A'course she does..." Souda looked down at his feet, sniffling slightly.
They walked down the hallway quietly for the next few minutes, the electronic sounds of Nanami's game the only noise besides three pairs of footsteps walking in sync. After it become too unbearable, Hinata swallowed his pride and said, "Hey, I'm sorry. I didn't... mean to be rude or anything, I was just asking."
Souda grinned. "Don't worry about it! I forgive you, 'cause that's what friends do."
Hinata thought his "soul friend" was laying it on a bit too thick; had he not had a single friend before coming to Hope's Peak? Then again, a lot of the students attending the prestigious school only fit in there because they were so exceptional, so it was likely that most of them didn't have many friends in their younger years.
Upon reaching the library, Souda realized that he actually had no idea where in the two-story room Tanaka and Sonia were planning to meet, so he quietly led Hinata and Nanami around and acted like he knew what he was doing.
After carefully peeking around the seventh shelf (and most likely before that), Hinata realized what was going on and said, "You don't actually know where they are, do you?"
Souda scratched at his cheek. "Nah, but the library's not that big; they've gotta be around somewhere, right?"
Hinata heaved a sigh and continued following Souda around, Nanami trailing behind. Within about twenty minutes, they finally heard two voices speaking softly in a corner on the second floor.
"We found 'em!" Souda whispered loudly. "Just peek out from behind this shelf real slow and we can hear 'em better."
...
Sonia sat down, smoothing out her skirt and looking across the small table at Tanaka. She didn't quite know what to say, and it seemed that he didn't, either.
After a few beats of silence, Sonia cleared her throat delicately and said, "Once again, I apologize for touching you without warning. I forgot that you dislike such types of interaction."
Tanaka stared down at the table as he spoke. "It is not that I particularly like or dislike the sensation of touch, but that any mortal who laid their hands on me would immediately disintegrate... in theory."
"In theory?" Sonia asked. "Have you not made contact with anyone in all your life?"
"I have avoided it as much as possible... the only people who have touched me during my time on this earthly plane are my mother and father, but they are not human."
"What are they?"
"An angel and a demon, respectively."
"...Ah." Sonia had to wonder what Tanaka's childhood was like, but she decided not to press the issue. "Then... are you perhaps saying that I am not mortal, either?"
"I am not sure," Tanaka muttered, brows furrowing in thought. "Certainly you are... unique in comparison to most other mortals, but I am not sure exactly how you differ."
"Well, I'm sure there is no hurry to figure it out, yes? If I was fine after touching you one time, then am I permitted to do it again? I enjoy hugging those I am close with, or even sharing a high-five if one of us did something particularly rad!"
"We are... close?"
"Of course! We're friends, aren't we?" Sonia smiled.
Tanaka's head snapped up, eyes widening. The princess feared that she had offended him, but he merely said, "Ah... I... I suppose I could call you a comrade."
"Excellent!" Sonia held her hand across the table for a celebratory high-five. Tanaka stared incredulously at the outstretched limb before touching his palm softly to hers. They sat there with their hands still touching for a few moments, one student growing progressively more confused and the other becoming progressively redder.
Sonia finally spoke up. "Is this how high-fives are supposed to wo-"
Thump.
Both students flinched away as they looked down towards the book lying face down on the floor. The sound of footsteps running away was heard a moment later, along with a whispered curse.
Tanaka jumped to his feet, eyes scanning the room. "Have we offended the passing spirit of a former librarian?"
Sonia stood up as well. "I certainly hope not!" She called out into the air, "We apologize for our conduct!" She then remembered that they were in a library and covered her mouth with one hand, scolding herself for further breaking the rules.
Tanaka shook his head. "No, noble one, it is not necessary to apologize. If you truly wish to be a comrade of mine, then you must build up your powers to the point where you fear nothing; a phantom in particular is harmless."
"But shouldn't we still be polite?"
"Ha! Dark lords need not be courteous; it should be considered an honor if they are, in fact."
They paused as two pairs of footsteps could be heard fading away.
"A deceased couple...? Perhaps this tome is a sign of some sort?" Tanaka mused, picking the book up and flipping it over to read the title. His face flushed. "...No, utter foolishness! This is merely a coincidence."
"What is it?" Sonia asked, stepping slightly closer.
"Nothing of importance!" Tanaka sputtered, walking briskly over to the shelf where the book had come from and shoving it back in place. "I must take my leave now, but I found your conversation... tolerable. I will see you tomorrow."
"Yes, I think that you are very tolerable as well, Mister Tanaka!" Sonia beamed. "Farewell!"
"...Farewell," he muttered, walking away.
Once he was out of sight, Sonia sneaked over to the closest shelf. As she read the title of the book whose spine was sticking out haphazardly, she flushed as well.
The Science Behind Love, Happiness, and Other "Positive" Emotions
...
Hinata burst into the cafeteria with Nanami trailing behind him. He zeroed in on Souda casually eating dinner at their usual table and slammed his hands down in front of the mechanic.
"Souda, what the hell?"
The target of Hinata's rage swallowed a mouthful of rice. "What?"
"You know very goddamn well what! How could you just throw a book down, panic, and run away? You're the one that wanted to spy on them in the first place and then you just desert us during the most risky part?"
"Hey, once there's a possibility that we might get discovered, it's every man for himself! ...Or woman," he added, glancing at Nanami.
"The only reason we would've gotten discovered is because of you and that excuse for a distraction!"
"Well, originally I thought about tipping the shelf over, but then I figured I didn't need two adults yelling at me in one day, y'know?"
Nanami tilted her head to the side in confusion. "Mm, and wouldn't that be dangerous, too? You could have crushed them, like when the ceiling was coming down to crush the protagonist in Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door... ah, but they would've had even less time to react, though they wouldn't have had to navigate through a maze of spikes..."
Souda blinked. "...Um, yeah. That too. So really, throwing the book down was the better option."
Hinata slumped onto the bench across from Souda. "I don't think I have the energy to study anymore," he mumbled, running a hand through his hair.
Nanami took a seat beside him and said, "Yes, I'm feeling... quite tired."
"Get some food! That'll help ya," the source of Hinata's fatigue said.
"I've lost my appetite," Hinata replied, then jumped slightly as he felt a weight settling on his shoulder.
He looked down to find that Nanami had fallen asleep.
...
That night, Souda studied for about thirty minutes and gave up. Even that much was pretty impressive for him, so he felt accomplished as he tinkered with his radio, trying to improve its range and get more channels. The sound of the door opening directed his attention toward Tanaka, who slipped into the room without a word. The boys went about their separate tasks without acknowledging each other until Souda managed to work up his courage and say, "Hey, what's up with you and Lady Sonia lately?"
Tanaka looked up from whatever he was doing - was he somehow high-fiving the fat hamster? - and said, "What is 'up' between us is none of your concern, unworthy one. Do not involve yourself with the affairs of gods."
Souda screeched. "Do you mean 'affair' as in...?"
The breeder blinked, flushing slightly. "As in business! What sort of disgusting, impure thoughts are you having?"
"Well, when ya phrase it like that, a'course I'm gonna take it that way!"
"And, of course, I would not expect someone like you to properly comprehend the refined language of the future Ascendant Ruler of Ice."
"I wouldn't want to ever know what the hell you're sayin', anyway!"
"Very well, then!"
Souda and Tanaka went back to their respective tasks for the next half hour.
Once the mechanic finished tuning in as many channels as he could, he realized something. "Hey, ya never answered the question."
"What, you mean my business with the noble one? I have told you, it is none of your concern."
"You're awfully defensive about it, aren'tcha?"
Tanaka's glare almost made Souda back down, but he held his ground. "...We are comrades. The workings of your mortal mind are so nonsensical that I must ask why you are so insistent on knowing that insignificant piece of information."
"Don't play dumb with me, hamster boy! I know you're tryin' to steal her from me!"
"Excuse me? Lady Sonia is not a possession," Tanaka snarled. "She is a sentient being, and superior to you in every respect. I cannot 'steal' her."
"Yeah, I know she's better than me, and ya don't have'ta rub it in! I'm just sayin' that I saw her first, and that I wanna be her man, and that the sight of you two talkin' and smilin' together makes me sick!"
"Are you perhaps suggesting that I, Gundam Tanaka, would like to be her 'man'?" He paused for a moment after that, as if in thought. "...Hm, ridiculous. Pursue her if you will, but you shan't accomplish anything besides making yourself look like a fool." With that, he put his hamsters back in their cage and sat at his desk to study, ignoring any more comments from his roommate.
"Fine, I'm so glad I got your permission, o Dark Lord," Souda muttered, sulking out of the room. He needed to go smash something.
...
At the same time that Souda and Tanaka were bickering in their room, Sonia was studying diligently in her own dorm; she had decided to avoid reading in library until midterms were over, just in case she fell asleep over her textbooks again. She had completed about half of her math problems when Tsumiki hesitantly entered the room, trying to make as little noise as possible. When she was two steps through the door, she tripped over a stray pencil and landed on the floor with a loud screech.
Sonia rushed over to make sure the nurse was okay. "Are you hurt?" she asked urgently, bending down and offering a hand to help her roommate up.
"A-ah, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" Tsumiki whimpered, scrambling to her feet on her own and massaging her bruised knees. "I-I tried not to disturb you b-because you were studying, but I just made that loud n-noise... you may punish me in any way you see fit!"
"Miss Tsumiki, I am not going to punish anyone!" Sonia said sternly, hands on her hips. "It was an accident, which hardly requires an apology in the first place."
"B-but..."
"No, no but's! You are just as good as anyone else attending this academy, and I refuse to see you demean yourself in this manner!"
Tsumiki cowered at Sonia's commanding voice. "Y-yes, ma'am, I'm sorry..." she said, tears prickling in her eyes.
The princess sighed, trying to switch to a more comforting tone. "I apologize; sometimes a noble upbringing does not benefit me in social situations. Nonetheless, please try to have more respect for yourself! As your friend, it pains me to see you constantly putting yourself down."
"My... friend?" Tsumiki murmured. "All my other f-friends just used me for entertainment and th-threw me aside when they were done... i-isn't that how it works?"
Sonia gasped. "No, that is not how it should work at all! Not that I have had many of them, myself, but friends are supposed to help and support you!"
"But w-weren't they just being honest when..." Tsumiki looked towards the floor, trembling, "w-when they told me I was useless a-and ugly and - "
"No, no, no!" Sonia almost fainted; how much had this poor girl been through? "I am sorry if this offends you, but your old friends sound like awful people who gave you a twisted view of yourself!"
"I-I'm sorry, I need to..." the nurse quickly walked past Sonia, jumped into her own bed, and buried herself under the covers.
It seemed that the road to recovery would be a long one. Sonia sighed and went back to studying, trying to delay going to sleep for as long as possible. When she finally felt her eyes growing heavy, she quietly closed her textbooks, turned off the lights, and went to sit upright on her bed.
She repeated Tanaka's words over and over to herself; fear nothing, fear nothing, fear nothing. It wasn't as though she hadn't tried something like this before, repeating her parents' or servants' comforting phrases in her mind to chase away the nightmares; it rarely worked, but she figured that words coming from a dark lord himself might help chase the demons away. It was worth a try, at least.
Sonia lay down beneath her covers and shut her eyes, the words fear nothing, fear nothing, fear nothing etched behind her eyelids.
When she awoke a few hours later in a cold sweat, she sat up and put a hand on her chest to feel her heart thumping out of control.
She was afraid.
...
Classes were rather unremarkable the next day, although Hanamura did have an interesting announcement to make in the morning.
"Hey, anyone who wants a break from studying this weekend should come up to my room for some... extracurricular courses!" the chef said, wiggling his eyebrows. Everyone groaned and Saionji slapped him, but Sonia didn't see anything wrong with the offer; if someone wanted to teach their classmates how to cook, presumably, then how could that be a bad thing? She decided to consult Tanaka and Tsumiki on the matter, considering that she now sat in between the two.
"Mister Hanamura has just made a generous proposal to teach us the culinary arts! Would either of you like to take up his offer with me?" Sonia asked, glancing to her left and right as she spoke.
"I-I have to work this weekend," Tsumiki muttered. "A-and I don't think that those are the type of classes that he meant..."
"Whatever do you mean?" Sonia couldn't imagine why the chef would teach another subject, like math or science; he didn't particularly seem to excel in his studies.
"N-no, it's nothing... I-I'm sure he could teach you how to cook, too," Tsumiki said, looking down at her desk and fidgeting.
"Yes, I would certainly hope so, considering his field of expertise! I am sorry that you can't come; I'm sure it would have been great fun," Sonia smiled, turning to her right next. "What about you, Mister Tanaka?"
"Ha! I highly doubt that I could learn anything from the portly one, and even if his offer is generous, I have not had... positive experiences with cuisine in the past," Tanaka replied, shivering slightly at the memories of slimy curries and mushy rice that turned gritty upon consumption.
"But wouldn't having positive experiences now help you get over the bad ones?"
Tanaka thought for a few moments. "...Perhaps you are right, noble one. Pah, very well! I will try this cooking course, and if I gain nothing from the experience, it will be the portly one's head that I shall serve on a platter as an offering to the Four Kings." Cham-P peeked out of his hiding place to let out a joyful squeak. "Ha, hear his battle cry! Even now, he is hungry for a blood sacrifice."
Sonia clapped. "Wonderful! Classes are about to start, however, so let us approach him about it at a later time."
About halfway through lunchtime that day, Sonia spotted Hanamura walking out of the kitchen, presumably taking a break from helping cook the massive amounts of food required to feed hundreds of teenagers. "There he is," Sonia said, nudging Tanaka slightly in the side. He flinched and started coughing on his food. "Shall we go ask?"
Tanaka cleared his throat, attempting to regain his composure, and nodded. The two stood up and walked over to the chef, who was likely making his way to the bathroom. Sonia waved him over. "Excuse me, Mister Hanamura, but could we have a moment of your time?"
He grinned, vaguely reminding Tanaka of a wolf about to devour a fresh carcass. "Yes, of course, princess! What do you need?"
"We are here to speak with you about the extracurricular course you are supposedly offering! When are you available to teach us?"
Hanamura's eyes widened, and his hand flew to his nose. "Ah... what? A threeway with a princess and Tall, Dark, and Handsome over there?"
"Yes, both of us would like to participate! We, too, require study breaks from time to time."
"Well, how could I refuse? Is around 8:00 tonight good for you both?"
"Could we do it around 7:00, perhaps? 8:00 is a bit late for dinner."
"D-dinner? Oh, my..." Hanamura took a tissue out of his pocket, trying to control the flow out of his nose. "Y-yes, if you are so eager, then 7:00 it is! I'll make sure to tell my roommate so we have some privacy."
Sonia thought that this was a bit strange; did Hanamura have an oven and stove in his room? And did his roommate really not want to learn how to cook from a world-famous chef?
Tanaka, noticing her confusion, said, "Perhaps the cookhouse would be a more suitable location; the necessary supplies would likely be there."
Hanamura almost fainted. "In the kitchen? I-I never expected you two to be so kinky! We... we could use the back room!" He had to pause for a few moments to catch his breath. "I wonder what kind of supplies you're talking about... oh, I can hardly wait! Yes, yes, I will see both of you very soon!" He scurried off, giggling to himself.
Tanaka frowned, watching the chef's retreating form. "Something is very... off about this arrangement."
Sonia nodded. "Yes, he was acting quite different than usual, wasn't he? Why would he want to hold private cooking courses in his room?"
The breeder gasped, coming to a sudden realization. "Perhaps... he is one of us? A servant to the underworld, making sacrifices in his very own abode and cooking them to perfection to further please the spirits... but he appears so powerless and insignificant at first glance." He retrieved his hamsters from his scarf and held them close to his face. "Tell me, Dark Gods, does the portly one serve you and your brethren?"
San-D sniffed at Tanaka's nose and nuzzled against his cheek.
"The gods have spoken!" he bellowed. "Hanamura has an ulterior motive! To... what?"
Sonia blinked. "Hm? What is the matter, Mister Tanaka?"
Tanaka stared down at the hamsters cupped in his hands. Jum-P scratched his ear. "The message is too vague... I cannot decode it."
"Ah, what a shame," Sonia sighed. "But we shall simply have to keep our guard up! For now, let us return to our table."
"Indeed... Cham-P hungers yet again," Tanaka said, petting the chubby hamster with one finger. Cham-P squeaked and closed his eyes in bliss.
...
Souda narrowed his eyes at the strange group gathering on the other side of the cafeteria; Tanaka, Lady Sonia, and that creepy chef all talking together? Nothing good could come out of that. He snapped his fingers at Hinata to get his attention and pointed at the trio across the room.
Hinata glanced over, confused. "Yes, they're talking. And?"
"You don't think... they're talkin' about that 'course' Hanamura was offerin' earlier, do ya?"
The other boy started coughing on his food, and Nanami casually slapped his back, not taking her eyes off her game. "What? Souda, what kind of relationship do you think they have?"
"Hey, I got into an argument with Tanaka last night about Lady Sonia! He could be tryin' to step up his game to ward off the competition!" Souda snarled. "Well, fine, I'll just have to step it up, too!"
"Souda, no, whatever you're planning to do, just stop - "
"No! I'm gonna go up to that stupid chef's room after classes and ask him what the hell is goin' on!"
"You realize that midterms start this Monday, right? That's in two days. You're gonna be so screwed if you don't study."
"Hey, I studied for a good half hour last night!" Souda beamed, actually looking proud of himself.
Hinata sighed. "It's a start, I guess..."