Moving Forward

Regan yanked Sebastian to a stop. She scrambled down and raced for a bush. Leaning over she gagged and felt her stomach contents rush up her throat.

"Regan, are you okay?" Stevie held Regan's shoulder. "This is the third day you've lost your breakfast."

Regan wiped her mouth and took a swallow from the canteen Stevie handed her. Taking a deep breath she turned to face her friend. How was she going to tell Stevie what she knew? It wasn't any good hiding it any more. She would have to face the music and decide what to do.

"I know." She walked back to Sebastian and leaned against his neck. "I just don't know what to do."

"With what?" Stevie stroked her horse's neck. "What's wrong?"

"If I was more like you and Grace, nothing would be wrong. But I can barely manage to take care of myself." Regan lifted her head and wiped the tears from her eyes, the image of those two pink lines still floating in front of her. "I can't do this."

Stevie wrapped an arm around her and Regan leaned into her friends embrace. "Regan, if you tell me what's wrong I'll help you fix it."

"Tell me how to be a good single mom." Regan pushed away from Stevie. "I'm pregnant."

Stevie covered her mouth and turned away, one hand propped on her hip. Regan dropped her gaze. Stevie was ashamed of her, there would be no help from that quarter. Stevie spun around again and Regan steeled herself for Stevie's rebuke.

"It's Dave's, isn't it?"

Regan nodded. "Patrick and Tayler's wedding."

Stevie shook her head. "Oh, Regan, I'm sorry or should I say congrats?"

"At this point, I'd rather die," Regan said fiddling with Sebastian's reins. "Are you mad?"

Stevie frowned. "Why would I be mad?"

Regan shrugged. "I just thought that maybe you were ashamed of me for falling prey to Dave so easily."

Stevie huffed. "Not on your life. I've been there, I know what it's like. It won't be that bad. Just think of all the people who will help you. Your baby is going to be so spoiled, just like all the other children around here."

Regan straightened her shoulders. "So you think I can do this?"

"Yeah, I think you'll do a bloody good job," Stevie said, nodding vigorously. "Have you told Dave?"

Regan shook her head. "I don't want him to know."

Stevie sighed. "More secrets. I think we have enough of those to drown in. Regan, he deserves to know."

"No," Regan said firmly, mounting her horse. "He'll think I want something from him. Besides he has Kate now. I can't make him choose."

"Well, you say you aren't like Grace but you certainly sound like her." Stevie clambered onto Banjo. "Are you still okay to help me move this mob to the yards?"

Regan nodded. "I'm good now."

She wanted some good hard work. Maybe it would take her mind off of all the things that had happened. She wanted to forget about Dave but now she would always have a reminder of him with her.

"You know, you're bringing another McLeod into the world. I don't think that's a bad thing." Stevie grinned as she pushed the mob up from behind. "Turbo, get behind."

"Now that you've said that it doesn't sound so bad." Regan manoeuvred her horse over to Stevie. "I think I can do this."

"Call Dave, that's the first piece of advice I will give you. It does no good for anyone holding secrets like that."

"What about Kate?" Regan asked. "Does she deserve this?"

"Kate knows how Dave is. She was good with the whole sleeping together thing." Stevie gestured for Turbo to sit down. "She'll be okay."

"I don't want anything from him," Regan said. "I really don't. And I'm not giving the baby his name."

Stevie nodded. "That's alright."

Regan laughed. "I'm going to be a mom." Shaking her head she kicked Sebastian into a trot and went after the stragglers.

Regan sank into a chair and leaned back. "I'm starving."

"After losing your breakfast again, I'm not surprised," Stevie grinned.

"Lunch is ready." Moira came out onto the veranda with a tray of sandwiches. Meg followed behind her, Xander on her hip and a jug of juice in her hand.

"Good, I'm starving," Regan said again, snagging a sandwich.

"Oi, leave some for the rest of us." Grace laid Channing in the stroller and nudged Regan. "Why are you so hungry all of the sudden?"

Regan shrugged and bit into her lunch. She wasn't sure she was ready to tell her sister what was wrong.

"She hasn't managed to keep breakfast down for three days straight," Stevie muttered. "Come to Mama, little man.

Regan watched as Xander dove into his mother's arm and nestled close to her. She smiled, her own child was growing inside of her and one day she could hold him or her close to her heart.

"Why can't you keep your breakfast down?" Grace nudged her sister and sat beside her. "Feeling a bit crook these days?"

"Who's crook?" Jodi asked coming around the corner. "Has the mail come yet?"

"Regan is and no, the mail has not come," Grace said. "Craig's late. Not normal."

Stevie laughed. "It is since he got married. Jessica must keep him on his toes."

Jodi just shook her head. "Or he's keeping her on her toes."

Marcus rounded the corner with Ingrid. "Hey, you all."

They greeted him and extended an invite to join them for lunch. Marcus agreed without hesitation and Ingrid laughed.

"He's always starving," she said.

"He's Alex's brother, comes with the territory." Stevie handed Xander a piece of bread. "Xander is no different."

"Regan, you're looking a bit crook," Ingrid said, laying her hand on Regan's arm. "Are you okay?"

Regan nodded. It was just a matter of time. Stevie assured her that by four months she would be feeling better. That meant only two more months of this.

"Mail's here," Grace said as Jaz waddled out onto the porch. "Jaz, what are you doing? You are supposed to be resting."

Jaz rolled her eyes and sat down beside Regan. "I've done enough resting to last a life time."

"Ben is going to kill us if anything happens to his princess," Stevie said. "Craig, how is it going, mate?"

Craig grinned sheepishly. "It's going."

"Anything exciting?" Regan asked as Craig tossed the stack of mail on the table.

Craig shrugged.

"Don't give us that, Craig Woodlawn," Jodi said. "I know you have a squiz before dropping the mail off."

"Fine," Craig sighed. "There's something for Grace in there that is mighty interesting. It's from Heath Barrett."

Regan turned to her sister and saw the blood drain from her face. She stood up and knelt by Grace. Grace took a deep breath and reached for the pile of mail. Sorting through the envelopes she found the one bearing her name.

"Do you want me to open it?" Regan asked.

Grace shook her head. "I'll do it."

Grace scanned the letter and then handed it to Regan. "Read it."

Regan frowned but began to read. "Dear Grace, I'm sorry for all the trouble I have caused. I know I hurt you and I hope that one day we can be friends. For all the pain and sorrow I caused you I know I can never make it up, but I hope this is a start. Enclosed you will find the deed to Kinsellas. I've transferred ownership to you. There is no money due or back taxes to pay. As soon as you sign on the dotted line it is yours. My attorney will be visiting in a few days. We will never have to see each other. Once again, I'm sorry and please accept this. I can think of no one else who deserves it. Heath Barrett."

"That man," Marcus said as Regan finished. "One minute you think he's the worst thing and the next he does something like this."

"He's still an awful person," Grace said. "But at least he admits he was wrong."

Stevie took the deed from Grace and scanned it before handing it to Marcus.

Marcus read it and then turned to Grace. "It looks like it's in order."

"Congrats, Grace, you now own one of the largest properties in the district," Stevie said.

"And it makes my decision a whole lot easier," Marcus stated.

"What are you going on about?" Grace sighed.

Regan handed the letter back to Grace and got to her feet. "Are you going to sign?"

Grace shrugged. "Why not? I don't know what I'll do with it but it will be handy having extra land for cattle and sheep."

Regan sat down and looked at Marcus. "What was that about making a decision easier?"

Marcus swallowed half a sandwich before answering. "I was going to talk to you girls about buying up some more property. I was looking at Kinsellas and the Le Vice place. Now I'll just by the Le Vice place and we'll own all five properties along the stock route."

Stevie laughed. "Now, that is a brilliant idea. I'm surprised Harry never thought of it."

"He was probably too busy making enemies to think things like that through," Marcus said.

"Now, now, that's my father-in-law you're talking about," Stevie said, shaking her finger.

Ingrid shook her head. "From what I have gathered about Harry Ryan, he wasn't much of a father and less of a father-in-law."

Stevie grinned. "But it never pays to speak ill of the dead."

Regan smiled and shifted in her seat. Was this the right time to tell everyone her news? Most of the people that she wanted to know where sitting around the porch. Ben and Matt appeared as if by magic and sat down by their wives.

"What are you two doing here?" Marcus asked.

"Lunch," Ben muttered around a mouthful of sandwich.

Matt kissed his wife's cheek and tickled Katie's stomach. "To see my wife and daughter."

Marcus rolled his eyes and took another sandwich from off the plate. Regan regarded the empty plate and sighed. She was still hungry. Maybe there was something in the kitchen she could nibble on. Standing up she headed inside.

In the kitchen she found a bowl of strawberries sitting on the counter. She smiled and snatched the bowl. Biting into one of the fresh red fruit, she heaved a breath of delight. She went back outside and sat down on the bench to enjoy her snack.

The banter of friends and family bounced around the porch. Grace was signing the papers that transferred Kinsellas from Heath's name to hers. She joined in the clapping as Grace capped the pen and waved the papers in the air.

Then Grace turned to Regan and said, "You never answered my question."

Regan swallowed. "What question?"

"Why you can't keep your breakfast down."

"Oh, that." Regan shifted and looked at Stevie.

Stevie nodded and smiled her encouragement. Regan sighed and turned back to her sister.

"Well, I am feeling a little crook but that's because in about six months you are going to become an aunt, again."

Grace blinked. Jaz laughed and hurried over to hug Regan.

"Are you serious?" Jaz asked. "It's Dave's, isn't it?"

Regan nodded and looked at Grace. Grace shook her head and then smiled. She stood up and walked to where Regan sat. Slowly lowering herself beside Regan, Grace slung an arm around her shoulders.

"Congratulations, Regan," Grace said quietly. "It isn't an easy thing you are about to do, but it is so worth it."

"Thanks, Grace. Now I just have to tell Dave."

Grace grimaced. "Good luck. He deserves to know, though the Lord knows that I'd rather he not know."

Regan laughed. "My sentiments exactly. But like Stevie said, we have enough secrets around here. I'd rather not have to hide my child's parentage for the rest of his life."

"Not for the rest of his life, just for a few years," Grace said.

Regan smiled sadly. Grace knew all about the weight of secrets. But her secret could ruin the lives of a very good friend. Regan's secret wouldn't ruin anyone's life. Dave was moving back to Africa and taking Kate with him. They wouldn't have to live next door to each other and try to pretend that they were okay with everything. This was the right thing to do. Regan straightened and accepted the congratulations of the rest of her family.

As the encouragement and excitement swamped her she began to feel that this would be something she could survive. She could do this.