Author's Note:
I'm back from Africa (I had a wonderful time) so here's the chapter that has been long awaited. Apologies for taking so long to write it but do review it once you've read it. The song I have used is "I'm Moving On" by Rascal Flatts and written by Phillip White and D. Vincent Williams, which is special to me as it's what I directed for my VI Form leavers to sing at the Summer Concert when we all left school, so I hope you like it's role in this chapter.
DaenerysTargary3n
A month later…
So we must fly a rebel flag,
As others did before us,
And we must sing a rebel song
And join in rebel chorus.
We'll make the tyrants feel the sting
O' those that they would throttle;
They needn't say the fault is ours
If blood should stain the wattle!
~ Freedom on the Wallaby (H. Lawson)
"Quinn, are you ready yet? We've got to go now if you want to come! I can't be late so you've got five minutes otherwise I am leaving without you! You know what Rachel's like…"
The eight-month pregnant teenager heard the genuine anxiety in her housemate's voice as he bellowed his final words up the stairs to her as she bustled around in her room searching for just the right tint of lip gloss. She felt sincerely bad for making Will anxious but she was just as nervous about going to school for the first time since her attack. Not only did she have to contend with being eight months pregnant (and looking somewhere between a beached whale and a fairy tale ogre) but she also was burdened with the memories of being violated in the glee club room. She had been repeatedly assured by Will and the others in New Directions that you couldn't tell such an event had occurred in the room they'd been using in the weeks since the assault, but that didn't completely eradicate the strong feelings of dread and fear that were festering in her heart and mind.
"Are you alright? I was worried…" Will's sweet voice asked, bringing her out of her deep thoughts because he was standing in the doorway to her room with a kind smile on his face.
"Yes, I'm just coming," Quinn replied, "right now. Can you help me downstairs?"
"Naturally."
She smiled warmly at his one-word response as she gripped his outstretched arm that was ready to support her weight as she negotiated the flight of stairs. It embodied the way their relationship had grown over the past four weeks. In spite of her emotional outburst when she had pretty much declared her undying love for her glee club teacher, the pair of misfits and loners had managed to coexist in a state of harmony (literally, with their duets during the evening) and grow closer as friends. Having Will Schuester as a friend was something far better and what she needed far more than him being an uncomfortable and unwilling lover.
Once Will had got her and her obligatory wheelchair into the car, she asked, "It will be alright, won't it?"
"Yes, Quinn. Undoubtedly everything will be fine. Everyone knows you're coming to the practice and I checked the room one last time before coming to pick you up. I know you've been worried about being back there again and I promise you that there's not one trace of what happened to you there. Except…"
She sat bolt upright at that and interjected, "What? What's there?"
He patted her reassuringly on the leg and assured her, "Quinn, calm down. It's not what's there, it's what has been removed," he looked down sheepishly, "because I may – or may not – have chucked out the piano stool and bought another drum stool. Bryan is not happy about it, but I also may have told him to go screw himself."
Laughter filled the small car once Will had finished telling his comic but adorable tale. Quinn once more sensed that she would be utterly safe (if not completely at ease) in the company and under the protection of her gorgeous and dependable rock. For that was what Will Schuester had been to her throughout the whole ordeal and she had come to realise that she depended on the kind man for so much now and she wasn't certain she would ever be able to exist – let alone live – without him.
"Okay, I trust you then. Let's just go and get this over with."
They had a relatively quiet and uneventful drive over to McKinley with the sole exception of a spate of texts from Rachel to Will's phone asking why he was running late and did he want her to do the warm ups before he arrived. Will simply passed the cell over to his passenger and asked her to politely tell Rachel that it was all Quinn's fault and no he did not want her to start anything without him.
"If I ever let her loose like that, God knows what we'll see when we arrive," Will murmured with a cheeky grin gracing his face, "probably a bonfire with an effigy of the former Rachel Berry alight."
"Do you remember when you were teaching us about duets and stuff and she got that scary crush on you? "Endless Love" has never been performed so hilariously! She was crazy that day!"
Will flinched with a grimace, "God, Quinn! Don't remind me of that. It was the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened."
"Oh, come on, the most embarrassing thing?! Surely, the great Will Schuester has had more embarrassing and cringe-worthy student crushes than a Rachel Berry in heat?"
Her language made him cringe at the thought of Rachel in such a primal way. He did recall Suzy Pepper but that had been rendered less disconcerting by the fact that he was only her Spanish teacher. With Rachel, he was both her Spanish teacher and her glee club teacher. It was far more personal and in a looser environment. It had made him truly reconsider giving the kids the creative and personal freedom he did in the club for he had always permitted anyone in the club to sing and dance and proclaim whatever they needed to in their hearts but Rachel's little crush on Mr. Schue had made him consider his position as a faculty member who was getting ever closer and closer to these great kids.
While they were stationary at a traffic light, Will glanced over at his companion who was content sitting beside him and flicking through a nameless beauty and fashion magazine. It occurred to him that although he had second-guessed himself during and after the Rachel incident, he still couldn't deny the fact that he considered all the kids who found their way into New Directions close friends who he taught and mentored but who – he felt – also taught him and helped him along too. Quinn, just for example, had helped him immeasurably to get over Terri and all the hurt she had caused. She had restored some of his spent youth which Terri and her machinations had snatched away. He felt renewed now that Quinn was living with him but he couldn't help but dread the day when she would get her life back together and up and leave his sorry ass.
"Hey, Quinn?" He asked timidly.
She looked up, her eyes scrunching at the tone of shyness that she thought had long since evaporated between them, "Yeah?"
"You don't feel pressured or obligated to live with me, do you? You actually want to? 'Cos if you didn't, I'd totally understand, and you could go…if that's what you wanted."
"Where's this come from? Do you want me to go?" She asked, grasping at his hand hoping with all her soul that the answer to her second question wasn't yes.
"No! No, of course I don't. You are the closest friend I have and have ever had really. I just don't want you to feel that I'm holding you back from recovering. If you think you could get better somewhere else but you know I'm a lonely old sod, I would be doing you a disservice and I can't live with that, so again: do you want to live with me? Is living with me helping you?"
"Yes, Will, you are helping me. I love living with you and honestly, I need to live with you. I feel stronger when I'm with you and happier and more alive. You say I'm your closest friend but has it occurred to you yet that you're my family. You're all I've got in the world! You think you're a lonely old sod, well, I'm essentially your family, whether you admit it or not, so you might as well get used to the fact that I am not going anywhere…at least, not without you."
As the light switched to green, Will did not step on the gas or take off the handbrake but just stared with tearful eyes at his family. Luckily there were no cars behind them to honk or disturb them because it was the most profound moment they had shared since they had moved in together and no more words needed to pass between them.
All they shared was a smile and a nod before Will trod on the pedal and they continued their journey towards the school and their extended family. It made the day that bit more special that when they pulled in to the car park, the entire host of New Directions were waiting to help her and escort them both back into the glee club room.
Finn stepped out first (ever the hero) to assist Will with the reassembling of Quinn's wheelchair while Kurt opened the door for her and gave her his hand to help her into the chair. It was all quite the pomp and circumstance for the returning former head cheerleader.
"Hey girl, you impressed or what? Probably thought we'd do nothing to welcome you back to glee club." Mercedes said.
"I did not," Quinn retorted with a playful slap to her friend's arm, "but I did not expect anything on this scale! It's great. Thank you, guys."
Within seconds, everyone had swarmed around the pregnant girl and was telling her how much they adored her and how much they had missed her. It was a truly moving sight to Mr. Schuester who recalled the days when Quinn and Santana and Brittany along with the jocks who had joined New Directions would have sooner dunked Rachel, Mercedes and Kurt's heads in a toilet than told them that they loved them too. How times change was all the glee club coach could think with a blissful smile turning the corners of his lips upwards.
As he pushed Quinn in the chair towards the glee club room, Will noticed she was humming the song she had been working on during her spare time and a fabulous idea popped into his head which made him smile down at his housemate and squeeze her shoulder.
"So who's starting today, Mr. Schue?" Finn asked, taking his usual seat beside Rachel, who was unfortunately being squeezed between Finn and Puck.
"I think…Quinn should, seeing as it's her first day back and all. No dancing though. Just sit at the piano and sing."
While Quinn shot her housemate and at that moment, former friend, a piercing and vehement glare, everyone else in the room was asking since when did Quinn know how to play the piano and how come she'd never done it in glee club before.
"Mr. Schue," Quinn began, remembering to address him formally while at school, "I don't think I can."
"You've sung in front of me before at home, you sing quite happily with the others and you sing with true confidence when you're alone and solo, so it's time you worked up the courage to sing and play in front of your friends and family, Quinn."
She was speechless. Quinn Fabray was truly speechless and had no response to give to that. He actually was using her own words, words that were meant to allay his own inhibitions and self-doubt, against her! She was aghast that he had chosen her first day back at school to more or less coerce her into performing that way in public.
"If we were at home right now I would be calling you some not-so-pleasant names." Quinn growled quietly at Will.
He winked at her, "If we were at home, you'd just wheel yourself up to the piano and play and sing. So go on, Quinn, pretend it's just you and me at home and there's nothing here to frighten you."
With his last words, his eyes went from teasing to serious as he understood what going to the piano meant for her. He knew he was pushing her but from her claims that he helped her that she made en route, he felt sure he was doing what was best for his broken former cheerleader. She would play. She would sing. She would be magnificent. She would feel magnificent again.
"Fine, but I'm not doing one of my own songs." She stated, leaving no room for argument as she allowed Will to glide her over to the piano and take away the replacement drum stool.
"As you wish."
Once Quinn was by the piano and had closed her eyes, she knew precisely which song it was she wanted to perform. It was one that Will always said was one of his favourites and she had come to love it for what it spoke to her.
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons
Finally content with a past I regret
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness
For once I'm at peace with myself
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long
I'm movin' on
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces
Each one is different but they're always the same
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it
They'll never allow me to change
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone
There comes a time in everyone's life
When all you can see are the years passing by
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't
I had to lose everything to find out
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
I'm movin' on
As she let up the dampener pedal and the sound transformed into a peaceful, serene silence, she opened her eyes and realised she had kept them clamped shut all the while as she sang. She had been briefly aware of Rachel when for a split second a female harmony joined her in the chorus but quickly it went away when she suspected Mr. Schue had instructed Rachel to just let her sing and be heard proverbially singing on her own two feet.
No one clapped. It wasn't that kind of performance. Most people just sat still as stone statues and smiled like the Mona Lisa. Will, as always, was the one exception. He was stiller than all those sitting around him and he had unannounced tears streaming down his face, unable to believe that Quinn, someone so beautiful and so talented and so injured, had overcome yet another obstacle and opened herself up truly to the glee club but more importantly to him. It was why he had stopped Rachel from joining her. Usually, he was quite happy and encouraging of the students trying out new harmonies and singing and dancing together but once Quinn started and the introduction was heard, delicate and wistful, from the piano he knew this was something Quinn had to do alone and without anyone to help or overpower her.
Quinn wheeled herself quietly over to where Will was seated and beckoned to him and whispered, "I want to go home, Mr. Schue. Can you take me home, please?"
He nodded and turned to the others, "I'm going to take Quinn back home. Say goodbye or whatever you people say to each other and work on your duets until I get back, then we'll do some ensemble work."
Once everyone had said their farewells to Quinn, Will wheeled her out of the glee club room and helped her back into his car. They just sat and listened to the background noise the radio provided; Quinn was so worn out by her performance that she couldn't stomach flipping through the pages of her magazine.
As they pulled into their driveway, Will asked, "I'm just going to get you inside and get you some water then go, okay?"
She nodded quietly and replied, "In the living room will be great. I don't want to go upstairs yet."
Just as Will was readying himself to return to McKinley High, a whimper caught his attention and he looked towards the sofa where he had just now deposited his housemate.
"Quinn, what's the matter?"
At his inquiry, she instantly burst into floods of tears, "I know you've got to go back to the school but I wish you wouldn't."
He hurried over to her and wrapped her in his arms as well as he could with her belly being an awkward obstacle betwixt them, "Why? What's wrong? I can stay if you're not feeling alright."
"It's just that going outside again and being in that room again…I'm scared. I feel like I'm always going to be scared and the only thing that makes me feel like I have no reason to be is you. You protect me and you're always here for me and I know I'm a problem but when you're around me…it's those times when I'm not afraid anymore."
It was hard to understand his housemate through the sobs and tears, but he got the gist of what she was telling him and reached down to his pocket for his cell. After punching in a few short words to Finn, he set the device down and placed both hands on Quinn's moist cheeks.
"Then I'll always be here to make sure you're not afraid, sweetheart. Don't ever be scared around me, even if it's just to tell me not to go back to the school because you need some company. Don't ever not tell me what's on your mind and what you're going through. I want to help you, Quinn, and I'll be here to help you as long as you want me to."