Coming back to the station knowing that Ross McCadden's wife and daughter were there sucked the joy out of closing the case, not that there was much celebration with cases like this one in the first place. Erin had taken Jay's hand in hers as soon as Jenny had gotten into the car, they had both noticed Adam wrap her in a hug and saw his chin wavering as he let go of her and how he refused to look at Kim who was on the opposite side from him. What had caught their attention the most though was Antonio with a tear making its way down his face and Nadia with her arm around his waist, it looked like he was leaning into her for support having a hard time standing, their team was lost and broken...each and every one of them.
After the call pulled off they walked quietly up the stairs into the unit. Kim hung her head when Adam walked right past her and Roman without even acknowledging her standing there. Everyone knew something had changed, but no one really knew what. Adam went and sat down at his desk and zoned out pretending he was doing paperwork. Kevin quickly finished up all his paperwork and left not too long after to spend time with his sister. Al was back to staring at the wall but Erin knew that he was keeping an eye on Adam and Antonio.
"Let's go." Voight said after spending a couple minutes in his office alone with Olivia.
"Another case already?" Jay asked from his perch on the side of Erin's desk.
"No. We are going to Molly's. All of us." He said as he lead her out and down the stairs. Amaro and Rollins followed them out saying they were going to stop by their hotel to get packed up since they were flying out later that night.
Al got up from his desk and patted Adam on his back, he stood slowly and Al wrapped his arm around his shoulder. Al felt responsible for what Adam was going through, he had pulled him from the Academy and basically gave him a crash course in his kind of police work. Nothing could have prepared him for losing a friend though, something Al knew all too well. "We will meet you there. May be a bit." Al mumbled before leading him out.
That left Jay, Erin, Antonio and Nadia behind, Jay knew that Erin was not going to go until Antonio left so he wasn't going to go anywhere either. "I keep seeing Jules." Antonio finally whispered and Erin ran over to him and wrapped him in her arms. Jules and Antonio had been partnered for years and though Erin had only known her a short while the two of them had become fast friends. Antonio dropped his head into Erin and the sound of his sobs brought tears to Nadia's eyes, she had never even met Jules but saw Antonio stare at her picture often when he thought no one was looking, especially after his wife left him.
Jay walked over to her and pulled her into him, "We are a family...whatever this unit throws at us we will get through it together."
"All of us have lost people we are close to...all of them were very different circumstances and in the past we haven't always been there for each other like we should have been. We need to start acting like a family instead of people who were just thrown into a unit together." Erin said as she pulled back slightly from Antonio. "When Jules died...I wanted to run...we all went our own ways to deal with it instead of coming together."
"Ant...I...you always seemed so together...everything you have been going through...I...I never reached out. I am truly sorry man." Jay mumbled. The emotional stuff was easy enough for him with Erin, but with others...it still seemed weird...out of his comfort zone for sure.
"I leaned on Laura when Jules died...that was when our issues started...I saw how hard it was for her to see me so upset about her...and then Diego...Pulpo...and then when I got shot...she couldn't do it anymore. I started to just hide out at Molly's...going home...to the empty house...it sucks. I didn't want to put any of that on you guys though...you all have your own stuff to think about." Antonio said wiping the tears from his eyes.
"See that is what I am talking about. We always avoid talking about the stuff that is hard because we don't want to be a burden but when our head isn't in the right place...that is when stuff falls through the cracks. We keep stuff in house...all of it...that means the hard stuff too. I have a hard time talking about everything...I talk to Erin but...even that isn't as easy as I would like it to be." Jay told him.
"I am always here to talk if you guys need too. You all know the issues I have had...I see you guys coming and going and I can see the pain in your faces and your smiles not always reaching your eyes but I don't know how to talk to any of you...you are all so strong...I don't have any experience with any of this." Nadia said, still in Jay's arm.
"You are a part of this family too Nadia, don't you ever think any different." Erin told her.
Antonio took a deep breath, "I need to get out before my head explodes."
"To Molly's!" Jay said smiling and releasing Nadia.
The four of them rode together to the bar and walked in at the same time as Al and Adam, finding Voight and Olivia two deep sitting at a table laughing. "You guys get lost?" He asked with a smile.
"Family meeting." Erin smiled at him.
Amaro and Rollins walked in five minutes later and Jay slid them both glasses that Herman had passed to him. "You guys have a great team." Olivia said smiling.
"You do too." Al responded, not taking his eyes off Adam.
The two teams laughed and joked as the hours wore on, the two teams having its own partnerships within who always linked together. A few hours into their evening they said goodbye to their friends from New York, Voight leaving when they did with his arm around Olivia. Adam and Antonio had been very quiet all evening, obviously lost in their own thoughts, trying hard to focus on the conversations at hand but failing. Jay noticed Al looking at his watch and whispered to him that he would take Adam home. He left shortly after, leaving the younger part of the Intelligence Unit alone in the bar.
Nadia had moved so she was between Adam and Antonio at the round table, Erin next to Antonio and Jay with Jay next to Adam. "Voight gave us tomorrow off. I don't want to go home alone tonight so I think that we should have a slumber party. Watch stupid movies and relax at home. Together. My apartment is only a few blocks from here so lets go there." Erin said as she looked around the table. Everyone nodding in return.
"Erin's it is." Jay said standing up and ushering everyone out behind Erin. They all followed her to her apartment when she went to unlock the door she realized that she had left her keys at the office. Jay smirked and reached into his pocket and pulled out the key that he had and tossed it to her. He knew what the team was thinking and he didn't care.
Nadia and Erin went into her bedroom and got changed into sweats and tshirts and came back in the living room to find the the guys sitting on the couch staring at the wall, Jay had pulled out Jungle Book and put it in. When Erin walked back out she threw a blanket at Jay, "Really? You want to go there?" Erin laughed.
"Hey now, this was next on our list." Jay couldn't help but laugh as he saw the others on their team look on confused.
"Jay and I...we started watching Disney movies on our days off..." Erin explained.
"With all the crap we both needed..."
"Something happy in our lives." Erin finished.
"How long have you been doing this for?" Adam asked looking over at Jay.
"Since Maddie was shot." Jay said as his eyes clouded over as he remembered how he felt that night.
"Jay stayed with me for a while until stuff calmed down...and we just kept watching the movies and games and whatever when we weren't working." Erin finished for him, trying to give him an escape. Jay knew he needed to open up to the team or no one else would open up.
"My PTSD was so bad...when she was shot...I couldn't take it...Brett...the firefighter took he home with her after she saw me break down at the hospital...she called Erin...it is hard to talk about...the stuff I went through in the Army...seeing Maddie though...I had known Maddie for years...and she was the first person who took a bullet that was meant for me."
Erin walked over and squeezed herself on the couch between Jay and Adam and Nadia sat down on the floor in front of the couch leaning back against Antonio and Jay. "We work through everything together...Jay was there for me with everything with my mom...and now with Teddy...to the point of having my brother stay at his house without telling me." She smirked at him.
"Our jobs are hard...our pasts have a big part of how we react to different things. This team was put together by people Voight trusted, those who stood up to him and those who were picked by the ones he trusted. None of us really worked together before this unit was formed and even if we knew who each other was we don't really know anything about each other. It seems cheesy...like watching Disney movies together but we have to open up and really trust each other or we will never survive."
"Voight chose me because I got him arrested...we crossed patches a few times when I worked narcotics..." Antonio said. "Since Jules was killed...I couldn't even hardly look at Laura...then when Diego was snatched...she took the kids and went to stay at her damn sisters house."
"Al pulled me from academy...Ross was my home room instructor and we have been hanging out watching games and stuff since I started...I've seen a handful of dead perps now but shit...all of this is so new and a then to see my Buddy...you just never know when your time is up and who has your back when it really matters."
"You guys saved my life...pulled me off he street and straight into the unit. Anything I can ever do for you guys to repay you...I owe you all my life." Nadia said softly.
"Girl you saved our asses when it mattered and you have been great...this week helping with Amy...and earlier with Antonio...you have shown us what it means to have someone's back on this team. You have been here for all of us." Erin told her.
Jay looked over at Antonio and saw the tears in his eyes again at the mention of what happened a few hours ago. He put his arm around him and pulled him into his chest, holding his head against him. Antonio's arm slid down when Jay pulled him over and it brushed against Nadia, she turned towards him and took his hand in hers and held it.
Erin of course felt Jay move and the tears spilled from her eyes as she saw Antonio break down. Adam turned and wrapped her in his arms and buried his face in her hair, allowing himself to cry for the first time. Erin hooked one arm through Jay's and held onto Adam's with her other hand.
Jay looked down at Nadia and saw the tears in her eyes and smiled. "We will get through this together." He whispered softly while leaNing his head against the top of Antonio's.