Everythings cool…sorta by Safarilite
A/N: Hey guys im back with chapter 2 hoping ya like it im doing the best I can and im still re-doing my soul caliber fic so that's gonna be up here soon im hoping but anyway please review ya don't haft if ya don't wanna thanx & later.
Disclaimer: I…OWN…NOTHING Devil may cry is property of Capcom and everyone else that makes me broke.
Nero kneeled there clutching his achy nuts he stopped screaming 5 minutes ago 'for an old man he has a powerful knee' he couldn't help but think it that frekkin hurt like hell he slowly got up using the tree for leverage he sighed in relief that the pain had vanished for good there was only one thing was running through the young adults dangerous mind 'REVENGE'
Dante was sitting in the recliner laughing his guts out playing the scene of Nero denutafacation in his head over and over again the more he remembered the funnier it was
"He's…so…damn…stupid" he muttered through his uncontrollable laughter
Little to his knowledge Nero was watching him from lounge chair in the backyard 'laugh it up you artifact but I shall get my revenge oh yes comeuppance is at hand' he thought as he walked inside of the mansion glaring at the back of Dante's head even throwing an air punch or two he went up the stairs towards his room, he walked all the way to the end of the hall going inside his door that was left open when the 'nut puncher' ran out
He turned on the lights and looked at the slime like stuff splattered on the side of his bed and the floor only wishing it was the old geezer's brains he walked in his bathroom to go take a nice relaxing shower
Dante was relaxing in the his favorite part of the sofa the recliner with his feet propped up of course watching TV he noticed that he left his unfinished coke-cola on the coffee table he took a sip of the room temperature beverage the bottle stuck to his hand he just assumed that some soda droplets got on it early when he got hit by the ricocheting remote then another idea popped into his mind he went in the into the kitchen with a wicked smile on his devilishly handsome face
Nero was in his shower devising a plan of his own and washing that goo crap outta his hair he scrubbed until he saw every piece of goop go down the drain he would not go out in public as is it looked like someone barfed rainbows and brutally murdered a lemon all over him he continued washing closing his eyes thinking of the genius revenge that awaited his buddy he started chuckling to himself
Dante sneaked into the young slayers room carrying a tub of butter he heard Nero's weird chuckling 'ahh dude I know you hardly get some but c'mon theres people in the house' his face cringed but he continued with his affairs to frustrate the guy he spread butter on the floor by the shower and went over towards the porcelain throne and flushed it repeatedly at rapid speed
"AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH...HOTHOTHOT…MELTING…FLESH" he scrambled and screamed to get out of the shower
he quickly exited the shower and slipped on the butter trailing to the window which he fell out of and landed on Trish's car Dante heard the painfully loud crashing thud and the car alarm he looked out the window to see a nearly lifeless Nero face down on the car moaning in discomfort 'I THINK HE'S DEAD (He shrugs) eh he's been through worst' Dante thought while walking out of the room
Walking into the kitchen he decided it was snack time; he wrapped a slice of pizza in aluminum and popped it in the microwave he left it there and opened a door on the right and descended down the stairs towards the basement
Nero dizzily staggered in all of his nakedness into the house he wobbled upstairs and broke a few things on the way up to his room, while he was walking up the steps he slipped because of the butter that was still on his feet he fell and banged his face on the step he busted his nose and rolled down the steps
"F*ck...my...life"
after a couple of minutes he got up blood falling like rain from his nose, he went to his room and put on his clothes and wobbled back down the stairs and into the kitchen holding the wall for balance and opened the freezer, he retrieved an icepack and carefully put it on his throbbing forehead he closed his eyes and let out a irritated sigh 'it feels OW' he thought
"Oww…ah damn it hurts to think…hm so this is what Dante brain feels like everyday" he murmured aloud
He heard something that sounded like repeated jumping and yelling he just assumed it was oldie playing around with the chainsaws, axes or the mallet and decided to let him continued in his daily retardation
He smelled the burning pizza and saw the microwave sparking, the inside was so foggy you could barely see the light which was sparking too; he quickly scrambled to his feet and tried to unplug the now deadly device but Dante crashed through the basement door with Rebellion his eyes bloodshot his icy blue pupils now a deadly crimson red
"NO TOUCHY THAT'S MY PIZZA" his voice was transparent like a demonic aggression buildup inside him
"DUDE I DON'T WANT YOUR STUPID PIZZA IM TRYING TO UNPLUG THE DAMN MACHINE" the young hero yelled when he was near the plug to the accursed machine Dante threw a freshly sharpened Rebellion like a javelin and it pierced into Nero's shoulder
"AAAAAHHHH YOU F#*KING STUPID B%TCHY RETARDED MOTHER F#"KING MORONIC DOUCHE" he roared in anger and painful misery
Dante ignored every word he said and went to go touch the sparky microwave to retrieve his precious pizza
"WAIT…DON'T TOUCH THAT" Nero warned the silver haired slayer
He ignored him all that was going through his mind was the sweet Italian treasure that begged to be devoured he inched further to touch it
"STOP STUPID" the young hero tried to stop him from his impending danger which he didn't take he touched the microwave and it exploded sending Dante flying through the roof and out the house
"WHY DIDN'T YOU WARN ME YOU STUPID BIIIIIII" the son of Sparda roared had been blown away
Nero took out the bloody sword in his shoulder placed it on the counter and took the plug (that's all that was left of the microwave) out of the outlet and tossed it in the garbage he looked on the floor and noticed the burned remains of the pizza wrapped in the blackened aluminum foil 'ignorance just pure ignorance' he thought then carefully discarded the burnt contents
His gash had healed at a quick pace he went into the living room got the remote of the floor and sat down on the couch and started to watch TV while he was looking for something to occupy his eyes he caught Dante's artwork on the wall and laughed a little he waltzed over to the stick-figure gun art and took his pocket knife and carved 'gimme some dingding' by the brutally murdered stick figured Sanctus
'Wannabe washed up pope' he thought and returned to the TV finally landing on something that wasn't boring, sappy or childish
"Ahh the epitome of sophistication…SpongeBob" he smiled to himself and began singing along to the theme
"SPONGEBOB SQUAREPANT absorbent and yellow and porous is he SPONGEBOB SQUAREPAAAAAAHHHHHH-"Dante had bust through the front doors and with a fire hose and blasted Nero off of the sofa & through the wall the blast was so powerful it left a hole shaped exactly like Nero's body
Dante stood there laughed maniacally his hair was standing up & smoking, his clothes were burnt and still smoking while he laughed smoke would come out of his mouth the hose was still on soaking everything in the entire room
The hole glowed a bright light blue Nero emerged from the hole his devil bringer arm glower viciously his eyes resembled rage he had elevated to his demon form Dante stood there
"Zup Lucifer" Dante smirked
"Now I get my revenge" Nero said with no emotion
"Revenge…so gothica strikes back" Dante chuckled spraying the young man with water, Nero's body started to glow very bright
"TODAY YOU PAY FOR YOUR IMMATURITY" Nero roared charging for the son of Sparda
"Sorry Satan im broke" Dante laughed while dodging the impending attacks and releasing the devil inside of him as well
"THERES NO ESCAPE" the younger demon shouted
"Theres a door right there so I beg to DIFFA" Dante continued to laugh at the frustrated Nero; Nero grew tired and charged at Dante with eye blinking speed and slammed his body through walls and anything else that he could find he pounded the fire in and outta Dante, his master plan was to beat the sh*t outta Dante until he was worn out
"WE AREN'T GONNA STOP TILL IM EXHAUSTED" Nero roared in anger
"Freaky little man aren't ya" Dante joked trying to evade every attack that was rapidly coming at him
"AAAAAAARRRRRRRGGGGGGGHHHHHHH " Nero had enough
Well that's chapter 2 really hoping that you dudes/dudets liked it chapter 3 will be up soon so yeah please review tell me what ya think & how I can improve but ya don't haft to if ya don't want but I would really appreciated it if you did so that's it I guess…uh thanx and later.