White. That was literally the only way Severus could describe the Television Room even to himself. There wasn't much to add to that, in any case. A few Oompa-Loompa's were monitoring a few white machines, but Severus couldn't thing of the names for them.

"Here," Wonka said as he exited the elevator, "put these on quick, and don't take them off whatever you do."

Severus, Dumbledore and the Teavee's reluctantly put on the ridiculous-looking glasses.

"This light could burn your eyeballs right out of your skulls," Wonka claimed, "and we certainly wouldn't want that, now, do we?" Wonka waited for a moment, as if to see if somebody would take off the glasses. Severus was not that foolish, and, apparently, neither was Mike.

Wonka began walking toward the Oompa-Loompa's. "This is the testing room for my very latest and greatest invention," he announced boldly, "Television Chocolate. One day it occurred to me: 'Hey, if television can break up a photograph, into millions and millions of tiny pieces and send it whizzing through the air, then reassemble it on the other end, why can't I do the same thing with chocolate?"

Severus glanced at the machines. Now that he took a closer look, he could see a massive, white camera being held from the ceiling. And a few feet away, a Oompa-Loompa was watching a white television set.

"Why can't I?" Wonka continued, "send a real bar of chocolate through the television, ready to be eaten?"

"Sounds impossible." Mr. Teavee offered. Severus agreed in principle, but after all he had seen today, he assumed Wonka probably had learned how to send chocolate through television.

"It is impossible," Mike agreed. Mike's tone became hostile as he addressed Wonka, "you don't understand anything about science. First off, there's a difference between waves and particles. Duh!"

Severus was certain that the boy insulting Wonka was not increasing his chance of making it out of this room unharmed. Severus was also quite certain that Wonka had developed a personal grudge against the foolish boy over the elevator incident. Still, Severus had to admit to himself that Mike was smarter than the other three contestants, and even a bit kinder. Prehaps nothing would go wrong.

"Second," Mike continued, "the amount of power that it would take to convert energy in matter, would be nine atomic bombs!"

"MUMBLER!" Wonka yelled, making Severus jump. "Seriously," Wonka continued in a quieter tone, "I cannot understand a single word you're saying."

"Prehaps," Severus said quickly, hoping to avoid further hostility between Mike and Wonka, "we should actually observe the device."

"I concur," Dumbledore agreed, realizing what Severus was doing, "please show us, Mr. Wonka."

Wonka shrugged. "Okey-dokey. I shall now send a bar of chocolate from one end of the room," Wonka motioned toward a bright circle in the middle of the floor, "to the other," he now motioned toward the television set the Oompa-Loompa was watching, "by television!"

Six Oompa-Loompa's carried a chocolate bar that had to be at least thirty feet long, and laid it in front of the video camera.

"It's got to be real big," Wonka explained, "because you know how on TV, you can film a regular-size man, and he comes out looking this tall?" he demonstrated with his fingers, "same basic principle."

Wonka pressed a red button on the side of the wall that somehow made the chocolate bar defy gravity. It soared into a glass tube, and then a flash of light emerged from the camera and surrounded the tube. The chocolate bar had vanished.

"It's gone." Dumbledore breathed. How could a man with no magical powers do these things?

"Told you," Wonka said, though despite facing Dumbledore, his comment seemed more aimed toward Mike Teavee, "that bar of chocolate is now rushing through the air, above our heads, in a million tiny little pieces."

Wonka began running over toward the television set. "Watch the screen!"

Severus looked at the screen. It seemed to be a third-rate documentary about the desert, and there was no chocolate.

"Here it comes," Wonka said, "oh, look!"

And sure enough, a Wonka bar was in the middle of the screen.

Wonka gently tapped Mike. "Take it!"

"It's just a picture on a screen." Mike insisted with a smug expression.

"Scaredy cat," Wonka taunted, then turned to Severus, "you take it!"

"How?" Severus reluctantly asked, "it's a glass screen."

"Just reach out and grab it."

Severus extended his hand slowly. What if something happened to him like with the others? Still, they had violated Wonka's rules, and Wonka was encouraging Severus to do this. Unless, of course, Wonka simply hated Severus. But Wonka didn't seem to hate Severus. Severus touched what he expected to be the screen, but his hand entered the television set. Severus grabbed the chocolate bar.

"Merlin's beard." Dumbledore whispered. Even he couldn't have made this possible, how could a muggle like Wonka?

"Eat it," Wonka encouraged. Severus merely stared at the bar with a frown. Was this really chocolate?

"It'll be delicious," Wonka promised, "it's the same bar. It's just gotten a little smaller on the journey, that's all."

Severus unwrapped the bar and took a miniscule bite to see if it was really chocolate. It was chocolate-delicious chocolate, no less. "It's great." Severus muttered.

"It's a miracle." Dumbledore's tone was full of admiration.

"So, imagine," Wonka said, "your sitting at home watching television, and suddenly a commercial will flash on screen saying 'Wonka's chocolate's are the best in the world. If you don't believe us, try one yourself.' And you simply reached out," he motioned the act of reaching out, "and take it! How about that?"

"Mr. Wonka, can you send other things?" Mr. Teavee asked, "say, like breakfast cereal?"

"Do you have any idea what breakfast cereal is made of?" Wonka challenged, "it's those little curly wooden shavings you find in pencil sharpeners."

Severus was going to prove this was false, but he wound up asking another question instead. "But could you send it by television if you wanted to?"

"Course I could." Wonka said.

"What about people?" Mike asked curiously.

"Why would I want to send a person?" Wonka asked, "they don't taste very good."

Severus didn't know whether to be stunned to this seeming ignorance, or relieved that the chocolate room cannibalism comment was a misunderstanding.

"Don't you realize what you've invented?!" Mike snarled in outrage, "it's a teleporter! It's the most important invention in the history of the world! And all you think about is chocolate." Mike added in a tone of disgust. Severus agreed with the child, but was certain the best thing would be if he calmed down.

"Calm down, Mike," Mr. Teavee said wearily, "I think Mr. Wonka knows what he's talking about!"

"No he doesn't! He has no idea!" Mike insisted, "you think that he's a genius, but he's an idiot! But I'm not!"

Mike began running towards the machine.

"Stop him or he'll join the others!" Severus hissed at Mr. Teavee.

"Mike, do you want to end up lie the others?" Mr. Teavee asked.

Mike ceased to run and had an unfathomable expression on his face. He seemed to be pondering over whether or not he should listen to his father.

"A garbage chute," Severus said, "a blueberry, a chocolate river, and a shrunken boy."

Mike took a few steps away from the machine. He seemed unsure what to do.

"Good, little boy," Wonka said, "you wouldn't know how to work it, anyway!"

Mike ran toward the machine in rage and clicked the red button. Mike began to defy gravity and entered the glass tube.

"Why did you say that?" Severus asked Wonka.

Amusement filled Wonka's face. "I had no idea he would take it so personally."

In any case, Mike seemed to be enjoying zero gravity, performing a series of disco poses. It was the first time that Severus had seen the boy happy since the lickable wallpaper outside the nut sorting room.

The light from the camera surrounded the glass tube, and Mike Teavee was gone.

"He's gone." Mr. Teavee sounded out of breath. Severus sympathized with him for the first time all tour.

"Let's go check the television and see what we get," Wonka suggested brightly. They watched the screen, which was the same as it had been before, except that the chocolate bar Severus had taken was, of course, no longer there. "Sure hope no part of him get's left behind"

"What do you mean?" Panic filled Mr. Teavee's voice.

"Well, sometime only half the little pieces find their way through," Wonka explained, "if you had to choose only one half of your son, which one would it be?"

"What kind of a question is that?" Mr. Teavee snapped.

Wonka appeared offended. "No need to snap. It's just a question." Wonka turned his attention to the Oompa-Loompa with a remote control for the television, "Try every channel," Wonka ordered, "I'm starting to feel a little anxious," he added without a single trace of anxiety in his tone.

The Oompa-Loompa, visibly bored, began clicking buttons on the remote control. Music started playing from nowhere.

"There he is!" Severus called as Mike appeared on the television set, haven clearly shrunk in the process.

"Mike?" Mr. Teavee squeaked. The Oompa-Loompa news anchor started singing.

The most important thing

That we've ever learned

The most important thing we've learned,
As far as children are concerned

The channel was changed yet again. Two Oompa-Loompa's were playing with those colorful muggle robot toys Severus recognized but could not recall the name of.

Is never, never let them near
A television set

Or better still just don't install,
The idiotic thing at all

The television turned to a black-and white image of a pair of feet entering a shower. Mike was on the floor of the shower, and looked up. The camera shifted to the water being turned on, before the channel was turned yet again. Now a metal band made of four Oompa-Loompa's appeared on the screen, the boy no longer on screen. Had Severus turned his face from the screen, he would have seen the other Oompa-Loompa's in the room dancing to the music.

It rots the senses in the head

It kills imagination dead

It clogs and clutters up the mind,

Mike Teavee was now visible again, standing on a musical keyboard.

It makes a child so dull and blind

He can no longer understand,
A fairytale in fairyland

His brain becomes as soft as cheese

The Oompa-Loompa keyboard player slid his hands across the keys, sending Mike flying through the air. The scene now shifted to the guitar player.

His thinking powers rust and freeze

The band's singer was briefly on-screen before it shifted to the band's drummer.

He cannot think

Mike was hanging onto a cymbal. The Oompa-Loompa drummer was holding a pair of drumsticks, preparing to hit the cybal.

He only sees

The drumsticks hit the cymbal, and Mike Teavee flew in the air along. The drummer tossed the drumsticks in the air for no apparent reason. Meanwhile, the scene began slowing dow, as if everything was now in slow motion. Suddenly the scene changed to a purple-and-yellow sky, while Mike was now sinking downward.

Regarding little Mike Teavee

The Oompa-Loompa band had radically changed it's style. The few childhood memories Severus hadn't been able to block out told him they were impersonating the Beatles.

We very much regret that we

Hearing a noise behind him, Severus turned away from the television set for the first time since the song had began. The Oompa-Loompa's had dimmed the lights of the Television Room, and were holding a sarcastic candlelight vigil to the song.

Shall simply have to wait and see

The Oompa-Loompa metal band was back, the guitarist attempting to smash his instrument against Mike Teavee, but the station was changed again. It was that black-and-white shower again, except this time a Oompa-Loompa was attacking Mike with a knife. Mike was frantically running away from the knife.

We very much regret that we,

It was back to that muggle robot toy again. The red robot hit Mike in the face.

Shall simply have to wait and see,
If we can get him back his height

The robot hit Mike much harder this time, sending him flying in the air again. The channel was changed yet again to the cooking show, where Mike had landed in a frying pan.

But if we can't

The Oompa-Loompa chef tossed the pan sideways, causing the boy to soar yet again.

It serves him right.

The Oompa-Loompa news anchor made a final appearance, smashing his bulletin file on Mike.

"Ew, somebody grab him!" Wonka said in disgust.

Severus wondered why Wonka hadn't done that earlier. Come to think of it, why hadn't Severus himself pulled the boy out earlier? He must have been shocked by the musical performance.

"Help me!" Mike squeaked. Mr. Teavee reached in and pulled out as son, who Severus estimated as being about four inches tall.

"Thank heaven's," Wonka said, "he's completely unharmed!"

"Unharmed? What are you talking about?" Mr. Teavee asked angrily.

"Just put me back in the other way!" Mike begged.

"There is no other way," Wonka revealed, "it's television, not telephone. There's quite a difference."

"And what exactly do you propose to do about it?" Mr. Teavee asked darkly. Severus was thrilled the man finally had installed a spine.

"I don't know," Wonka admitted, "but young men are extremely springy. They stretch like mad," Wonka gave a large gasp, "let's go put him in the taffy puller!"

"Taffy puller?" Mr. Teavee repeated in outrage.

Wonka frowned. "Hey, that was my idea. Boy, is he gonna be skinny."

"Is that really a wise idea?" Dumbledore asked.

"Of course," Wonka turned to the Oompa-Loompa who had been flipping channels, "I want you to take Mr. Teavee and his...little boy, up to the taffy puller, okay? Stretch him out!"

The Oompa-Loompa escorted Mr. Teavee, who was holding a visibly frightened Mike. Severus felt a chill creep down his spine. Though his role as a spy for Dumbledore had led Severus to be subjected to more Unforgivable Curses than most wizards could count, he was certain that the taffy puller would be even worse than any spell.

Wonka once again seemed indifferent to everything that had just occurred. "On with the tour!" Wonka began walking toward the glass elevator, and Severus and Dumbledore followed. Neither could have imagined the shifts their lives were about to take.