AN: Something heart breaking I thought of while listening to Just A Dream.
Disclaimer: I do not own Carmilla. U by Xotex does.
Carmilla knew this was too good to be true.
Every morning, when Laura woke her from her doze as she threw together a breakfast of hot cocoa and half a dozen cookies, she had to tell herself that this was real. That when she opened her eyes, her annoyingly wonderful roommate-turned-girlfriend would be standing there, trying to rattle off some information the Science Ginger Twin had found around a mouthful of crumbs. That when she got out of bed and reached for her, Laura wouldn't disappear in the cloud of smoke, stolen away by whatever evil they were facing now. Told herself time and again that, when she walked out that door, Laura would still exist, safe in her room, jabbering on and on to the computer sitting on her desk.
She knew it was too good to be true, but Carmilla convinced herself any way that it was.
Convinced herself that Danny was real, that Clifford the Big Red Dog really did spend her free time jumping between being her sparring partner and accusing her of having something to do with anything even remotely resembling vampiric activities. Convinced herself that LaFontaine would be down later, an armful of blood packets in hand so she could feed while they watched their weekly monster movie, making fun of the inaccuracies, both scientific and supernatural. Convinced herself that Perry would eventually be by to drop off the daily baked goods she had taken to making, replacing certain ingredients with pureed vegetables so Laura would get some sort of nutrition.
Carmilla convinced herself that Laura, her Laura, really would be the one sliding into bed, curling up by her side to sleep, just like she had every night since she had come back from the dead.
Carmilla forced herself to believe everything she saw, everything she knew to be true when her eyes were closed.
Because when she opened them to a darkness that was no different, when blood threatened to choke her when she sobbed, it was only the belief that this wasn't real that kept her sane.
Carmilla knew, when she closed her eyes and opened them to a dozing Laura, that it was all too good to be true.
But if she ever wanted to get out of that coffin and see the stars again, she had to pretend.