July 7th
"Okay, the most important thing is to remember to stay in character." Mabel said as she examined her handiwork critically before going back in with a stick of greasepaint to add yet another defining shadow.
"I swear I'm going to get you back for this Mabel." Dipper said in an oddly muffled tone from his seat on the chair in the attic, his neck achingly stiff from having been forced to remain motionless for so long.
"Now here's your motivation: you're a creature of the night- but you are also a creature of passion!" she said, adding the last part dramatically while deftly applying yet another thin patch of fake fur to her brothers face.
"No jury would convict me." Dipper grumbled in a joking monotone, the plastic costume teeth in his mouth making speech an awkward act.
"Hey, you said it yourself that it was going to be my turn to plan out our next date – so here we are." Mabel said as she stepped back to give her latest masterpiece a once over before nodding her head in satisfaction. She picked up a hand mirror from her small trestle table of equipment and passed it over to Dipper who took it wordlessly and raised it to his face.
"Wow... Mabel this is really good. I can't even recognize me!" Dipper said, impressed despite his annoyance at the long wait. The face that glared back at him from the mirror stared with the burning golden eyes of the costume contacts that Mabel had him put on before she had set to work and his own familiar features were obscured by layers of false fur, yellowed monster fangs and an oddly snout-ish latex nose. Its not just the werewolf makeup though, Dipper thought as he turned his head this way and that to get a more complete look, she actually made my face look different too. He saw how Mabel had managed to use her often underestimated artistic skills to seemingly sculpt his cheekbones, brow and jawline to appear different enough so that while he still looked like a man who was wearing werewolf makeup, he didn't look like Dipper wearing werewolf makeup.
"Well duh, thats the whole point of a disguise, silly." Mabel said playfully as she packed up her costuming equipment and wiped the sweat from her brow. "Absolutely no one is going to be able to recognize you under all that jazz at the big Summerween bash tonight, so we'll be free to get as romantic as we feel like out in public, even if people we know are there!" she said with a waggle of her eyebrows.
"Yeah, I got that part of the plan," Dipper said as he stood up and shifted around uncomfortably, "but why am I in these leather pants also?"
"Well whats the point of having a new boytoy if you can't show him off?" Mabel said saucily as she gave Dipper a slow approving look up and down, causing him to blush under the layers of costuming obscuring his face. God he's so cute when he gets all squirmy and bashful! She thought as she giggled internally at his expression.
"Where did you even get these things anyway?" Dipper asked in confusion as he ran his hands over the unfamiliar texture covering his legs.
"I found them while digging around in those boxes of old clothes- I guess they were Stan's at some point." Mabel said casually.
Dipper shuddered in quiet horror to himself at the thought. The things I do for love.
"Ok, now that you're all finished up I need to get my costume on too. Grunkle Stan won't be back from the store for a while so it should give us enough time to head out together before he asks too many questions."
"What were you going to be dressing up as again?" Dipper asked.
"You'll see in a few minutes, till then just try and relax. Don't move your face around too much until the latex glue sets though or else it might fall off later." Mabel called back to him as she headed down to the bathroom to get changed with a bag from the Summerween store in her hand.
Easier said than done, Dipper thought grumpily at the feel of all the unfamiliar junk on his skin causing him to suddenly itch like crazy. Resisting the almost maddening urge to scratch with all his willpower, Dipper lay back gently in his bed and cracked open one of the many mystery novels that he had packed for the trip and thumbed over toward the dog-ear he had left in it the last time he'd read it. Admittedly that hadn't been in quite a long while since he and Mabel had found more interesting pursuits to occupy their time ever since the night of The Date. The change in the twins sex life, namely the fact that they now had a sex life, had seemed to shift their already fairly intense relationship up into a new level and Dipper had found himself going through his days in a sort of golden-pink haze as a result. I don't think I've ever honestly been more happy in all of my life, Dipper reflected to himself as he absentmindedly skimmed the page with only half-interest, even if I am wearing what feels like 30 pounds of monster face and my great uncles old biker pants. Dipper had also found himself growing bolder in the days since The Date had passed, finding more excuses to get close to Mabel during the daytime when he normally had tried to stay distant before to keep up appearances. He had meant what he said to her that night; he wasn't ashamed of how he felt for her and he wanted to let her know it every way he could. Mabel, for her part, had taken notice of this shift in his attitude and had responded to it with a warmth of her own. Her own admission that night about the way the pressure of their secrecy had been effecting her was causing Dipper to start to reevaluate everything about their strange situation in a new light and he felt the plan that had been ticking over in his head grow ever more clear with each passing day. I can't lose her, he thought, now more than ever I can't lose her. I don't care what it will take.
Dipper shook the serious thoughts from his head and tried to focus on the book in his hands instead. Party tonight, no time for any scheming – Mabel planned this one out, so lets show her a good time! I wonder what she'll be wearing? Knowing Mabel she'll probably show up in that big goofy foam banana suit she was marveling at in the costume shop after making me go through all the effort of getting into this elaborate werewolf getup. He winced inwardly remembering the way she'd he had held up the costume and asked if he thought it would make her look "a-peeling". That would be pretty typical of her... of course its not like I don't find all that silliness of hers adorable as all hell, so I don't think I'd mind. Not unless she wanted to get frisky in the banana suit that is... well... maybe I wouldn't mind even then to be totally honest. How would you even do it in a banana suit though? Wait, why am I even wondering this? Hormones, what have you done to me!
"Ok, ready to go!" Mabel called out from downstairs and Dipper hopped up to his feet and headed down the creaking steps to the living room where he saw Mabel standing waiting for him in a costume that actually made his jaw drop, something he had always thought of as just a poetic exaggeration till now. So much for the banana suit theory, Dipper thought, stunned.
Mabel was leaning against the banister at the foot of the stairs in a figure hugging black dress of some satiny material that was cut low and deep, exposing quite an eyeful of cleavage. She had painted her face up to be pale but with coal black eyeliner and blood red lips that glistened wetly in the light and made her white plastic vampire fangs stand out against them like ivory. Dipper also spotted an enormous fake ruby that glittered on a silver choker around her slender neck, and he noted that her normally warm mahogany eyes were masked by a set of fiery red contact lenses. Typical of Mabel, she had also added a silly looking cat-eared headband as well as some crudely drawn whiskers and a black nose spot penciled onto her face.
"Double costume- a sexy vampire babe dressed as a cute kitty-cat! What do you think?" she asked as she stood with a hand on her hip and a wide grin on her face.
"Thats... thats quite an outfit." Dipper said slowly. Try not to drool too much if you can help it Dipper. Remember your dignity... wow that dress is pretty tight there... dignity!
"Glad you like," Mabel said with a smile, "I just figured: Vampire plus Werewolf- thats pretty much the ultimate Summerween power-couple right there!"
"Heh, yeah – I can see the logic there." Dipper said, darting his eyes up from Mabel's inviting cleavage and back to her face with a sloppy grin.
Mabel frowned slightly as she looked over at Dipper. "Somethings not quite right here though..." she said quizzically before she walked toward him, the tight fabric of the dress exaggerating every fluid motion in her steps. She came up to him slowly and placed her hands on the lapels of his shirt, gripping them tightly – unconsciously Dipper felt himself start to draw his face toward hers to kiss her before she gave a sudden violent grunt and tore his shirt open, sending the buttons pinging off into the distant corners of the room.
"Mabel, what the hell?" Dipper asked in surprise as she stepped back and admired her handiwork.
"Well the book is called 'Wolfman: Bare Chest', I'm just trying to get it as accurate as possible." she said teasingly.
"This was my only nice shirt. Seriously, I don't own any other ones." Dipper said with a slight frown.
"I'll sew the buttons back on later, its not a biggie." Mabel said playfully as she slowly traced a finger down from her boyfriends newly exposed collar bone to just above the waistline of his pants, smiling at the way her gentle touch had sent a slight shudder through his skin. "Besides, I like the view this way better."
She gasped in surprise as she felt Dippers arms shoot out and pull her in close, one gripping loosely about her shoulders and the other low and tight around her waist. "Ditto." he said before bending down to kiss her hard, their pointy prosthetic teeth clacking oddly against one another. Even with the clumsiness of the makeup getting in the way Mabel felt her heart flutter and her leg raise like the heroine in one of the cheesy romantic comedies she adored at the intensity of the kiss and had to throw her arms over Dippers neck to keep herself steady.
"Mmmm... save me some of those for later." she murmured happily as they slowly broke their kiss and headed out to the car together, hand in hand.
"Ok, so if I remember your plan correctly – we park about a block away, then you go in first and I go in like, fifteen or twenty minutes later so it doesn't look like we came together, right?" Dipper asked as he opened up the passenger side door to let Mabel into the car.
"Correct - Dipper is off on a camping trip by the lake to try and see if he can record footage of a lake monster and he let me borrow his car for the night." Mabel said.
"That was very generous of him. You know, for someone who said she didn't like lying you are actually really good at coming up with this stuff." Dipper said.
"It gets a lot easier if I just think of it all as a big play – then it almost becomes sort of fun. Oh don't forget the best part! You are playing a mysterious foreign exchange student visiting from Eastern Europe. Do the voice!" Mabel said with a grin.
"Mabel, I don't want to do the voice." Dipper said with a sigh as he rolled his eyes.
"C'mon! You actually aren't too bad at it. Do the voice – pleeeeeease?" she asked with clasped hands and shining eyes, her painted lips drawn into a soft pout.
"Ugh. Fine, I vill do ze voice." Dipper said in a thick and entirely unconvincing accent that sounded half Bela Lugosi and half war-movie German soldier.
"Perfection!" Mabel said with a cheerful squeal. "Okay Gerard, we are off!"
"Da." Dipper said stoically.
"Pretty sure that's Russian, smart-guy." Mabel teased.
"I don't zink anyone at ze party vill know ze difference." Dipper joked back as he turned the key and set the sputtering old engine roaring to life.
An oddly familiar tune echoed from the radio and Dipper and Mabel both paused as they recognized the sounds of 'Werewolves of London' tinkling out from the static-y speaker. Dipper reached down to change the station but felt Mabel's hand shoot out to grasp his wrist in a death-grip.
"Don't you dare." she said with a laugh, "It's perfect!"
Singing along off-key to the old song, the pair made their way into town in high spirits.
–
After he had finished waiting bored out on the curb for the pre-deterimined time Dipper made his way through the door and into the blasting noise of the party, which was currently being held in a new all-ages club that was trying to sell itself as a trendy hotspot for young people to hang out. Dipper personally gave the place a few more months before it folded up entirely since it didn't really seem to match the character of anything else locally around town, but that didn't mean that he wasn't going to enjoy himself tonight while it was still here. The lighting was alternating between too dim to see clearly and flashing to eye searing intensity, but he managed to adjust to it in a few minutes before he started scanning the room for Mabel. The crowd was a mixture of older teens and people who looked like they were about the right age for mid-college, with the occasional 'adult-adult' scattered here and there, usually looking out of place and uncomfortable amid the bustle. Where could she be? Dipper thought as he craned his neck over the heads of a group of giggling high school age girls pointing out his costume to one another. Stupid 'Wolfman: Bare Chest' craze, Dipper cursed internally, Mabel doesn't even really like those books that much anymore, she just dressed me up like this to mess with me. Though the way she was looking at me earlier when she tore open my shirt... Ok, I gotta draw the line somewhere hormones, and I think participating in werewolf sex-fantasies is a good place for that line. Maybe. I'm pretty sure she was just messing with me though, so this entire line of thought is moot. I really need to get a less stupid internal monologue, Dipper cursed to himself silently.
Aha! There she is, Dipper thought with a smile, not sure why I didn't check the dance floor first, that's pretty much the only place she would want to be at a place like this. Mabel was currently out near the center of the room dancing with Candy (in a very elaborate robot costume complete with flashing LEDs) and Grenda (who Dipper was surprised to see made an excellent Valkyrie), the three of them just moving together in a relaxed way to the heavy beat of the music blasting out from the speakers near the stage. Dipper could see a few stray single guys scattered among the dancing couples and saw that many of their eyes were drawn to Mabel, and though he knew that there was absolutely no basis for any jealousy he still felt a hot spark of anger flare in his chest at seeing the way they looked at her. Keep your cool man, Dipper said to himself, there's no reason to get all aggro just because some guys are looking at a girl who you just happen to be going out with. Of course they are looking... she's beautiful. She's beautiful and I'm the incredibly lucky guy who is here with her... well, sort of here with her. That guy over there who looks like he wants to head over better back off though or he's going to see what the wrong end of a shrink ray looks like. Gah, seriously dude calm down - don't go full manotaur here! Mabel can take care of herself. The aforementioned guy did indeed make his way over, but Mabel had deflected him with a shake of her head and he had instead found himself gripped about the shoulders by Grenda who pulled him in for a dance instead. Mabel glanced off to the side and her expression lit up as she caught Dippers eye, giving him a quick wink and gesturing him forward with a crooking motion of her finger while her friends weren't looking. Dipper felt an appropriately wolfish grin spread over his face as he started to make his way over to the group, but halfway there Dipper was gripped by a sudden and totally irrational nervousness, of the sort he'd always felt on the rare occasions that he had gone up to ask a strange girl to dance for the first time... which made no sense at all because this was Mabel. He'd known her literally his entire life... of course if the whole charade of the night was to be kept up he had to pretend to be a total stranger and that meant approaching her like one, and Dipper suddenly felt a beat of panic at the realization that he really wasn't all that good at acting, that his fake accent was incredibly stupid & that he was certain that Mabel's friends would see through their ruse in a heartbeat. Crap. What am I even doing here? Am I seriously going to just walk right over and ask her to dance in a voice like Dracula's even lamer cousin and expect her friends NOT to notice that its obviously me? Mabel cocked her head slightly at seeing the hesitation come into his step and silently mouthed 'Whats wrong?' at him, with a look of such genuine concern on her face that Dipper consciously started to push his insecurity aside. This is Mabel here – if I can try to fight a monster for her sake then I can ask her to dance, even if I have to do it in a stupid voice. Really this is way easier if you think about it. Piece of cake.
As if sensing his earlier nervousness Mabel had started to come toward him as he was debating with himself and the pair ended up meeting halfway under the flickering strobe-lights, with the cheesy smoke from the fog machine swirling around their ankles. They stood there, arms length apart and Dipper ached to pull her in close but held himself back for the sake of the little drama that Mabel was staging tonight.
"Vould ze lady care to danse?" Dipper asked, laying the hammy accent on thick as a stack of bricks and Mabel giggled a little before nodding at him with a twinkle in her eye.
"I would love to, mysterious stranger." she said, moving in closer and Dipper felt the familiar relaxing smell of her jasmine scented shampoo drift into his face as they started to move together with Mabel moving along to the beat and Dipper always just slightly off. He's not much of a dancer, Mabel thought to herself, but this is Dipper, so he doesn't need to be. Besides, she found herself thinking with a wicked grin flashing briefly across her lips, I know he can move very well in other ways. Especially that last time...
Mabel had been conscious over the past few days of how fast things had been moving between the two of them, but in many ways it had made sense to her. They had been together all their lives, so there wasn't going to be any awkward 'getting to know you' period where they had to probe out one another's personalities and interests and secrets... she knew Dipper almost better than he knew himself and he knew her just as well, to the point where she sometimes thought that they might end up doing that creepytwin thing where they could complete each others sentences. The way he looked at her, the feel of something as simple as his hand gripping hers, even his smell... she couldn't help but feel her breath catch and her pulse pound in her veins when she thought of him and remembered that he was hers and vice versa. This is what romance feels like, Mabel had thought with her heart racing as they danced, the real stuff, not whatever it was that I had with those guys I had dated in school. None of them made me feel this alive... this happy... none of them had made me want them like this... made me need them like this. There was just something about Dipper that had kicked Mabel's once mostly dormant sex-drive into high gear and she had found herself initiating things half the time and was always thrilled when he made a move on her the other half (admittedly usually after she had spent a little time teasing and building him up till he snapped). She had found the reality of it all to be SO much better than anything she had imagined while reading her well-thumbed collection of romance novels (even the especially steamy ones she kept hidden in a shoe box under her bed back home). You've got it bad girl, Mabel thought to herself as she felt her eyes moving over Dippers bare chest as they drew closer in the dance, but he looks like he has it about the same judging by the way he's been ogling me all night. Maybe we'll leave the party early...
"Hey, do you mind if I cut in?" a voice interjected from the side, snapping Mabel out of her drifting thoughts. She turned to see a tall blonde guy who looked about twenty giving her a wide easy smile.
"Yes. I do." Dipper growled at him, and Mabel felt the grip of his hands on her tighten briefly as he drew his lips back over his false monster teeth in a grimacing scowl.
It was a testament either to Dippers sudden intensity or Mabel's costuming skills that the blonde's eyes widened slightly and he held up his hands while stepping back slowly. "Easy there psycho. I'm gonna be on my way now." he said, shooting a confused glare back over his shoulder as he walked away.
"Um.. sorry." Dipper said quietly to Mabel, embarrassment at his sudden outburst evident in his tone.
"Why Gerard, you're so fierce!" Mabel said teasingly, running a reassuring hand up his arm and onto his shoulder.
Recovering his confidence, Dipper drew Mabel in closer to himself, "Well, I am a creature of passion after all." he joked with a nervous chuckle.
"Hey, you stopped doing the voice." Mabel said with a false pout as they began to dance once again when a new song came up, an industrial track with a heavy thumping beat that sent Mabel's hips and shoulders swaying to and fro.
"The voice was stupid." Dipper said flatly.
"The voice was stupid," Mabel chuckled in agreement, "but it was sweet of you to do it for me anyway."
"Hey, anything to put a smile on my Mabel's face." Dipper said with a smile of his own, and even through the animalistic contact lenses and the thick layers of latex and hair obscuring his face Mabel felt something shoot through her at seeing the raw adoration in his expression. He loves me... like, really deep down to his core loves me. It's almost too much, knowing that... and knowing how I feel the same and all of it just tangling together.
"Anything?" she said teasingly to try and deflect her sudden feeling of vulnerability with a little light flirting.
"Try me." he shot back with a challenging smile. He's gotten better at flirting too, she smiled, more confident.
"I intend to later." Mabel purred in response, tracing her nails across his shoulders and over the back of his neck which she knew would set him off and she was rewarded with the shiver she saw pass through him. Wow... we are getting a bit too intense here, she thought, maybe I better dial it back a little before we end up tearing each others clothes off in the middle of the dance floor. Mmmm... thats a mental image. "Hey, want to go get some drinks after this dance? I'm feeling pretty parched." she said in a more normal tone.
"Sure," Dipper said, shaking his head as if to clear it, "sounds good to me." Get a grip on yourself man, he chided himself, the night has barely started and you already want to throw her over your shoulder and drag her back up to the room... gotta pace yourself or she'll think that you don't have any self control. Try to spare at least a little blood for your brain tonight.
When the pair had made their way over to the snack bar they ran into Candy and Grenda (still gripping her captive dance partner in an affectionate headlock) and Dipper felt himself start to sweat. Okay... here is where it all falls apart, he thought to himself.
"Hey Mabel, who's your friend?" Grenda asked as she gave Mabel a wide grin.
"Well... this is..um," Mabel began falteringly. Oh man this is so much harder in real life than it was in my head, Mabel thought nervously.
"Gerard," Dipper said quickly after he saw Mabel's hesitation, once again slathering on the ludicrous accent, "from Translovakia. Mabel vas just showing me some of your American dances." They are never going to buy this.
Silence ticked on for a few uncomfortable seconds.
"Neat!" Grenda said loudly, and Dipper felt himself breathing a deep sigh of relief.
"I don't think I've ever heard of that country." Candy said in a quietly confused tone, but Mabel recovered her composure and frantically patted her friend on the back.
"Well yeah, it was one of those ones that got renamed during that whole ...Soviet Union-y... thing... thats why its not on any map, right Gerard?" Mabel said with a too-high laugh.
"Da." Dipper said quickly.
"Oh." Candy said. "Well, how are you liking America?" she asked.
Thank god this is the most gullible city in America, Dipper thought as relief flooded his system. Now to just try and keep it up for the rest of the night. He glanced over at Mabel and she gave him a quick smile that banished any of his earlier nervousness. Maybe this will be a little fun after all.
–
It was near midnight now and the Pines twins made their way out of the club and into the deserted street, laughing loudly as they walked along together.
"I can't believe you told them you were a musician!" Mabel chortled as she gave Dipper a playful shove.
"I thought it would be more impressive," Dipper laughed, "besides, I am a musician."
"Dipper, you played the tuba in band- that is like the least sexy instrument imaginable. It's like being serenaded by a giant metal whoopee cushion." Mabel teased.
"Touche," Dipper replied. "What was that bit about me being a Count though? I thought Translovakia was a republic?" he joked.
"It doesn't even exist, so it can be a monarchy if I want." Mabel said matter-of-factly.
"So, how did we do?" Dipper asked.
"I think it went great! Thanks for stepping up when I started to choke back there..." Mabel said, giving his hand a small squeeze.
"Hey, no problem... and you were right, it was pretty great to just go out and have some fun tonight. Sorry for giving you a hard time about it back at the house earlier." Dipper replied.
"Told you! Tonight was pretty fantastic... but the nights not over yet," Mabel said playfully as she glanced up at Dipper with a sly look in her eyes.
They stopped under a streetlight and he felt his heart pounding in his chest hard. No matter how many times he had gotten to kiss Mabel it always seemed to set him soaring high in his mind as that first time when he'd thrown all caution aside and done it. He cupped her chin in his hand and bent to her slowly but before their lips could meet a loud chorus of groans drifted through the air and the pair turned to find the source of the sound.
A shadowy mass of figures was shuffling their way up the street in the distance, the dull yellow lights of the street illuminating grey skin and dull staring eyes. They shambled forward, arms outstretched and their voices creaked and sighed out a dull deep sound that seemed to echo with an unspeakable pain.
"Neat! I didn't know this town was doing a Zombie Walk for Summerween." Mabel said as she pulled her ever-present camera from her purse and snapped a picture of the slowly approaching crowd.
The cool night breeze blew in and Dipper caught the edge of a scent like leaf mould combined with a dumpster full of bad steak. "Um... I think those might actually be real zombies Mabel."
"What, seriously?" Mabel said as she cocked her head and glanced back at the crowd. As if on cue an arm fell off one of the ones in the lead and the severed limb began to drag itself forward by its fingers, twitching and jerking spastically.
"Pretty certain." Dipper said with a nod.
"But this was supposed to be date night!" she said, annoyance in her voice.
"Tell that to the horde of the undead over there." Dipper said, his mind racing as panic started to catch up with him.
"What do we do?" Mabel asked, her own voice taking on an edge as the reality of the bizarre situation dawned on her as well.
"Ok... um... well, currently they are all crowded around where we parked the car... so driving away is probably out of the question. But we can't just let them tear up the town... Alright, follow me!" Dipper said, grabbing Mabel's hand and dragging her down the street, frantically glancing at the windows and signs of all the closed down shops until he spotted the right one and jerked to a halt, patting his pockets frantically until he pulled out an ornate black key, slipped it easily into the lock and threw open the door. Thank you President Trembley!
Dipper flipped the light switch and the twins stood blinking in the middle of the small hardware store, with the dull fluorescent brightness reflecting off the various tools hanging on the racks that lined the walls.
"Okay, so here's the plan- we get armed, fight our way to the car & then follow the trail to where these things are coming from. Its been a while since I read that section in zombies in my old journal but I'm pretty sure someone has to have made them. Dead people don't walk around too much on their own usually." Dipper said as he hefted a shovel experimentally.
"Why are we always the ones who have to deal with this junk?" Mabel groused as she looked over the shelves.
"That's just part of the fun of being one of the Mystery Twins." Dipper said with grim humor as he grabbed a machete from a nearby shelf and stuffed it into his belt with a nod.
"Oh man, I'm so taking this!" Mabel said excitedly as she hefted a chainsaw with a grunt, the smile on her face combining with her Summerween makeup to give her a ghoulish appearance.
"C'mon, its super heavy, really loud and we don't have any fuel for it. Here, try this one instead." Dipper said as he handed her a sharp flat spade which she took with a sour expression.
"I'm just trying to make the best of this," Mabel said as she leaned the tool over her shoulder, "I mean, tonight was supposed to be special."
"An attack by the living dead isn't special?" Dipper joked nervously as he grabbed a wood chopping axe from the wall and took a practice swing with it.
"I meant special in the good way you butt." Mabel replied, sticking out her tongue at him.
You really can't keep her down for long can you? Dipper marveled to himself at the speed at which his sister had adjusted to the current situation. I'm almost ready to scream here, but she's still just being Mabel. God she's amazing!
"I promise I'll make it up to you next time, for now lets just focus on staying alive long enough to reach the car. I'll go first, no arguments this time-" he said before Mabel could interrupt, "we don't want to crowd each other while swinging sharp things in the dark, that sounds like a recipe for an emergency room trip if I ever heard it. I'll try and distract them away from the car, then you get in and drive over to get me."
"Fine, but don't expect me to run away if you get in trouble." Mabel said with determination as she caught the keys Dipper tossed her way.
"Agreed. You ready?" Dipper asked with a deep calming breath as he gripped the heavy axe in his hands tightly to keep himself from trembling. He looked over at Mabel and saw her licking her lips nervously, the tip of her tongue stained red from the violent shade of her lipstick and her fingers drumming frantically on the handle of the spade he had handed her earlier. She's just as scared as me, she's just better at hiding it. Gotta keep her safe. No matter what I gotta keep her safe.
Mabel nodded once, silently and Dipper felt his own trembling stop as they threw open the door and stalked carefully down the street toward the car, drawing closer to the shambling crowd. Maybe they'll ignore us? Dipper thought hopefully until he saw one of the closest ones turn its hideous face toward him and lurch forward violently with its arms thrown wide and a dull roar shrieking out from its dry throat, Spoke too soon
"Stay back Mabel!" Dipper yelled as he stepped forward and swung the heavy axe into the head of the bony attacker, driving it to the floor with the force of his swing. The noise had drawn the attention of several of the others and they started to shuffle toward him with their hands twitching, their gnarled fingers clutched into claws and a dull glow in their filmy eyes. They make this look a lot easier in the movies, Dipper thought as he pulled the blade free with a grunt of effort and brought it up again for a second swing, taking another zombie off at the knees and sending it toppling back into the ones behind it to send them bowling over in a heap. Wow, these guys are really uncoordinated. With a yelp Dipper kicked the head off one of the creatures as it crawled closer to him clutching at his ankle and tried to draw the rest toward him with shouts and noise. I can't see Mabel... but she hasn't called for help so I have to assume she's safe. God she better be safe. There are a lot more of these guys than I had imagined... he thought as he saw the shambling mass start to surround him as he stepped back taking wide sweeping swings with the axe, his breath growing heavy with the effort. I think this time might really be it... I might not make it out of this one alive. The fear was gripping his heart now with iron claws but Dipper felt his jaws clamp down in a defiant scowl as he threw the heavy axe aside and pulled the much lighter machete out from its sheath. This is stupid! Who even gets killed by zombies? I was just supposed to be having a nice night out with Mabel tonight! I hope she makes it out of this okay... she should be fine if she can make it back to the shack... Stan does have all those guns around in case someone tries to bring a ladder into the house after all.
The blast of a car horn shook Dipper from his despairing thoughts as he saw the hood of his old blue sedan suddenly plow through the crowd of ghouls that had been reaching toward him and the passenger side door was thrown open wide.
"Get in you idiot!" Mabel shouted at him, waving her arm frantically. Dipper dived in and slammed the door shut as the tires squealed against the road crushing the groaning bodies all around them.
"Seatbelt!" Mabel snapped at him as he shook himself blearily, and he clicked the buckle into place as the car roared its way down the road, thumping as it tossed the bodies of the walking dead left and right.
"I think I'm going to have to get this thing washed tomorrow." Dipper said as he saw a severed arm flop onto the windshield and slide oozingly off to the side.
"That would probably be a good idea." Mabel agreed as she cut the wheel sharply to plow the car through a knot of zombies that had shuffled into view from a nearby alleyway, sending them flying every which way across the road in pieces.
"Do you ever worry that we've become too jaded?" Dipper asked as he heard the wheels thump over yet another groaning body.
"Nah... I mean, yeah we've seen some messed up stuff," Mabel said, "but its not like this is anything too big, right? I mean its just zombies."
"Yeah, I guess they are sort of over-exposed," Dipper replied, "it almost feels sort of cliched to be honest." What am I even saying? He thought.
"I know, right?" Mabel said. This has to be the weirdest conversation we've had yet, she thought to herself.
"I think I can see where they are coming from!" Dipper said, pointing forward. "Head over toward the old graveyard!"
"Aye aye!" Mabel said cheerily, the surreal nature of their situation sending her thoughts into giggling fits. "Now do you see the benefit of utility belts?" she asked.
"Is this really the time for the utility belt conversation?" Dipper asked.
"Well I'm sorry, it never stops being relevant whenever this junk happens!" Mabel said.
"Ok, if we survive I'll wear the utility belt!" Dipper replied.
"I'm holding you to that." Mabel replied and the two found themselves breaking into wild frantic laughter as the car veered through the flung open gates of the old cemetery.
–
A wide circle was drawn into the earth in the heart of the graveyard in piles of thick white powder, and the flickering light of the fire in the center illuminated a pair of robed figures standing huddled together. One clutched a book tightly in a shaking hand, and their hooded heads darted and swiveled this way and that at the darkness around them.
"Jeremy I think this was a really stupid idea." the taller figure said.
"Yeah, I can see that now." said the shorter figure in an annoyed tone as he scanned through the book frantically.
"Seriously, did you know this would actually work? I thought you had just been messing with me about this junk." the taller figure quailed.
"Honestly, I wasn't sure it would. Now I really wish I'd been wrong." Jeremy said.
"Does it say how to... un-zombie them?" the taller one asked, shaking his companion by the shoulders with panic gripping his voice.
"That's a very good question," a voice called out from the darkness. The two turned and saw a gruesome animalish figure stalking toward them in the firelight with a bloody machete clutched in its hand.
"Crap! You didn't say anything about a werewolf too dude!" the taller one yelled.
"Its a costume you jackass!" a female voice called out and they saw a girl following behind him with a weird looking shovel in her hand and an expression of extreme irritation on her otherwise cute face.
"We're so sorry! We just thought it would help us meet chicks!" the one called Jeremy said as he backed away slowly from the strangers holding their obviously recently used weapons.
"What, like dead chicks?" Dipper asked, confusion mingling with disgust in his voice.
"No! I mean... like, we figured it would make us cool... you know, if we could do magic." the taller one said defensively.
"Hey, here's a tip for the future," Mabel said, her voice thick with sarcasm, "girls don't like zombies you dingbat!"
"I don't know, what about your first boyfriend?" Dipper said as he turned to Mabel with a playful note in his voice.
"Don't you start! I'm still too pissed at these guys." Mabel snapped.
"Ok, well... there is a way to undo the spell, but..." Jeremy began.
"But what?" Dipper growled, taking a threatening step toward him.
"Um... the thing about zombies is that they don't want to be dead... so if we try to.. un-zombie them, they might try to swarm over and kill us to prevent it." Jeremy said hesitantly.
"Dude, why didn't you read this this all the way through before we started?" his friend asked in a stunned tone.
"Seriously." Mabel added.
"Ok, everyone shut up." Dipper snapped. "How long should it take to do the un-zombie thing?"
"Judging by the book here... like, fifteen minutes." Jeremy said.
"During which time every zombie in town will come streaming back to the graveyard to try and eat your face, right?" Mabel said.
"Um... yes." Jeremy said, blanching at the thought.
"Well, I can't see a downside – get cracking nerd." Mabel said grimly as she choked up her grip on the spade.
"No way! I'm not dying tonight. You guys can deal with this junk on your own." the taller boy said as he tried to back off.
"No one is dying tonight!" Dipper said loudly, "Now, I'll hold back the zombies – Mabel you stay here."
"What! No way!" Mabel shouted in frustration.
"Yes! You need to stay here and make sure these idiots finish the ritual or else the whole town might get overrun." Dipper said before turning to glare at the two robed boys shaking by the firelight, "If they try and run before they finish, break their legs."
Mabel looked at Dipper and saw him in the firelight, his breathing deep and steady and his face still covered in that ridiculous werewolf mask. Why does he always have to do this... try and throw himself in danger to keep me safe. Doesn't he know I want him safe more than anything? She walked over to Dipper and pulled his face down to hers for a crushing kiss that set her blood pounding in her ears.
"You better come back alright buttface." she said quietly as they broke the kiss.
"Count on it," Dipper replied with an easy grin that he didn't feel at all. He hefted the heavy blade in his hands and took a deep breath before stepping outside the circle, scanning around for anything that could try and approach.
Mabel walked over quietly to Jeremy and his friend and said to them, quietly, "Just so you guys know, if he gets hurt I'm going to personally make sure that there won't be enough left of you to turn into a zombie. Got that?
"Yes ma'am." Jeremy shuddered.
"Whatever you say!" his friend agreed with frantic nods of his head.
"Good, we understand each other. Now get cracking!" she said menacingly.
The two boys flipped through the book until they came upon the appropriate passage and began to chant in faltering voices, hesitantly droning out the clumsy and unfamiliar words. Mabel shuddered as she felt a chill wind start to rise in the air, and she heard a dull wail seem to echo out from all around them. She strained her eyes in the darkness beyond the fire and saw some figures begin to appear here and there in the distance, their slow shuffling steps bringing them closer to the circle. Mabel glanced over at Dipper and saw his back straighten as he spotted the approaching dead and he gave a few practice swings of the machete before he stalked out into the darkness to meet them
"Whatever it is you are doing you better hurry up!" Mabel shouted as she turned back to the two would-be necromancers.
The two nodded frantically as they continued their chanting, their voices rising as if they were being overtaken from something outside and the clouds overhead began to darken and roil madly, arcing with flashes of weird emerald light that cast crazy shadows across the graveyard. Mabel saw a huddling crowd in the distance and heard her brothers familiar voice raised up in furious shouting, hidden from view by the crush of bodies surrounding him. I gotta go help him!
Lightning crashed down suddenly, thick and blinding from the clouds overhead splitting the air with a sound that shook Mabel's teeth in her head. The fire behind her began to flare high and hot, its flames burning a sickly green shade. Without warning a searing beam of flame thin as a pencil shot out from the heart of the fire and tore through the crowd of zombies in the distance engulfing the area in a blast of light and heat and sound that sent Mabel tumbling off her feet. She rose to her feet unsteadily, the fire now returned to its normal orange and gold shades and the graveyard entirely devoid of sound save for the crackling of the smoking logs and the wind soughing through the trees. Dipper!
Her heart caught up in her throat, Mabel ran unsteadily through the darkened grounds, drawing closer to the mass of bodies in the distance. Pleasebeokaypleasebeokaypleasebeokay!
An arm shot up from the center of the pile of un-zombied bodies and Dipper clawed his way up unsteadily, glancing around in surprise before he was thrown off his feet again as Mabel threw herself at him, wrapping her arms crushingly tight around his chest and crushing her lips to his so hard that it hurt.
"Wait.." Dipper said blearily, "let me shower first... I think I still have some zombie on me."
"Don't ever do anything like that again!" Mabel said, tears streaming from her eyes as she buried her face in her brothers chest.
"Promise." Dipper said quietly, "From now on I'll leave the zombie hunting to video games."
"Good." she said as she drew back and looked up into his eyes, his face dirty and the werewolf makeup torn and dangling in pieces off his skin. I almost lost him. Forever.
"Now, lets finish business here." Dipper said as he walked back to the circle to the two panting teens lying huddled in the grass. He nudged them with his foot and they looked up at him, fear evident in their eyes. "Hand it over," Dipper said with his hand outstretched.
Wordlessly the book was passed his way and Dipper shuddered at the feel of the unusual texture of the leather on the cover. Where did they even get this thing? What other secrets are in it? He turned and glanced at Mabel and saw her expression as he had examined the book with curiosity. Probably better not to know them, he thought before tossing the book into the fire with only a slight pang of regret.
"Aw man, I borrowed that from the library!" Jeremy groaned at seeing the book burn.
"Library fines are going to be the least of your worries if you ever try anything like this again," Mabel said grimly as she drew her foot back and gave him a short hard kick to the ribs, causing him to double up and gasp.
"We're done with this stuff! Promise!" the second boy said, his hands raised frantically.
"Good." Dipper said, his voice heavy with the exhaustion of the night, "Then get the hell out of here. Make sure to put out the fire before you go." he added, taking Mabel's hand in his own and leading her back to the car.
"What, we can go just like that?" Jeremy called out in surprise.
"Yeah. Its not like the cops would believe us if we told them about a zombie attack," Dipper said, "actually I'm not sure that its even against the law to raise the dead to be honest."
"We should write to our congressmen about that." Mabel joked, the relief that had flooded her on seeing her brother alive making her lightheaded.
"I thought you were our congressmen?" Dipper joked back.
"That was six years ago, so I think my term has already ended." Mabel replied.
"Good point." Dipper said. "So how was this date?"
"Not as good as the first," Mabel conceded, "but I'm sure the next one will be better."
"Yeah, maybe we could go on a picnic or something?" Dipper said.
"Oh, that would be nice!" Mabel said cheerfully.
The twins drove off into the night, leaving the stunned pair of teenage sorcerers alone in the graveyard.
"Do you have any idea who they were?" Jeremy asked.
"Not a clue. Seriously though man, this has gotta have been your worst idea to meet girls yet." his friend replied.