"What are you thinking?" Snape asked Dumbledore. They were alone in the Head's Office.

"Wonka needs to be in close contact with you as you are his heir, so we agreed that he should maintain a place at Hogwarts."

"He knows no magic!" Snape argued, "he will be suspected!"

"That's why I sent him to Muggle Studies. No magic required. But I gave him a Kwikispell to fake magic if he has no choice."

"Do you believe the man capable of teaching a class?" Severus asked, "he clearly has poor communicative skills."

"He can't be worse than Gilderoy Lockhart, Severus."

"How reassuring."

"I am positive everything will be all right."

Willy Wonka entered the Muggle Studies classroom. The students watched eagerly, wondering what this strange new professor would do.

Wonka simply looked at the class. Wonka opened then closed his mouth several times, unsure what to say. Wonka thought back to the factory tour. How had he opened up? Oh, yes, great idea!

"Good morning, starshine!" Wonka greeted the class, "the earth says hello!"

The students simply stared dumbfounded. Some simply giggled, others felt embarrassed for him and blushed.

Wonka remembered that, as with the factory tour, he had written cue cards, and pulled them out of his pockets. "Hello students. Welcome to Muggle Studies. I am Professor Willy Wonka. I give your today's assignment," Wonka frowned as he realized he wasn't supposed to have read that.

Wonka put the cards back in his pocket. "Well, let's talk about a key element of Muggle life: chocolate."

"Chocolate?" Draco Malfoy repeated incredulously.

"Yes, chocolate," Wonka answered dreamily, "there's nothing like a doggone chocolate bar to sooth the soul."

"That's only a small part of Muggle life, Professor," Hannah Abbot observed.

"Indeed," Wonka agreed, "but once you get through chocolate, you will realize something important."

"Which is?" Lavander Brown asked.

"That Muggle's are responsible for nearly every aspect of wizarding culture," Wonka replied.

"What?" Draco asked in rage.

"It's true. Wizards have no need to create," Wonka explained, "they merely live of their magic until they die. Muggle's are constantly creating new things. It's Muggle's that are responsible for the creation of roads, books, recipes, buildings, etc, etc. Even this castle wouldn't exist without Muggle's creativity."

"And Muggle created chocolate," a Ravenclaw student answered.

"Exactly," Wonka said, "these wizards who talk about how superior they are to Muggle's are living off Muggle ideas."

"Wizards are superior to Muggle's!" Draco insisted, his fist clenched, "Muggle's are even dumber than animals!"

"Can you prove it?" Wonka asked.

"I don't need to. Everybody knows it," Draco argued.

Wonka gave an awkward smile. "I have something that might prove useful. Come here, Mr. Malfoy."

Draco walked up to Wonka's desk, arrogance filling his face.

Wonka pulled out a piece of gum. "Chew this."

Slightly confused, Draco nonetheless put the gum in his mouth.

"It's tomato soup," Draco said in shock, "I actually feel soup going down my throat."

"The gum is a three-course meal," Wonka explained.

Draco was still chewing. "It roast beef!"

"Do anybody know any spells that do this?" Wonka asked.

"No, "Hannah said softly, "it violates the known bounds of magic."

"But how does it work then?" Seamus Finnegan asked, "most Muggle's couldn't do this."

"Now it desert!" Draco said happily, "I think it's blueberry pie!'

"You might want to stand as far from Mr. Malfoy as possible," Wonka said as the elitist Slytherin noticed his hand turn blue.

The students mouth's dropped, with the exception of Luna Lovegood, who appeared to find this behavior perfectly normal.

"Professor Wonka?" Luna asked, "can I take a picture of Draco turning into a blueberry for the Quibbler?"

Wonka beamed. "Why, certainly."

Severus unhappily walked back into his Potion's class. "Now, most of you failed your essay, predictably. In fact, only four of you were successful. Imagine my astonishment at the discovery that Longbottom actually wrote a decent essay. Thus, I must give five points to Gryffindor."

Neville beamed. He had gone out of his way to improve his Potion's grade, and it had worked.

"Longbottom, now that you have proven that you are capable of receiving an 'Outstanding' in this class, I will not expect anything else," Severus insisted, "if you receive anything less than "Outstanding" ever again, even a 'Exceed Expectations,' I shall take away every point Gryffindor has."

Neville now felt sick.

"As for our trio," Severus pointed to Ron, Hermione and Harry, "I was admittedly impressed by their essay. It was so accurate, one would think they had actually taken Pollyjuice and written about the experience."

Harry's heart began racing. Snape must have learned about their second year. But how?

"Those of you who did poorly shall take the essay over again," Severus announced, "and it'll be twenty pages this time. I expect better work this time around. Now, today we shall -"

Wonka burst into the Potion's classroom. "Severus, may I see you for a minute? There was an incident in my class you'll no doubt want to know about."

What have you done? "Very well, Professor Wonka. Students, read page three hundred and ninety-four to ninety-eight of Advanced Potions while I am gone."