AN: Again thank you for everyone who is taking an interest in this story. It's been a long time since I had this much fun writing a multi chapter story, so I am glad you are all enjoying it.
Now if you all thought last chapter was intense wait until you read this. I had this chapter in my head for three days, and I wanted to make sure it was perfect before I sent it out.
So here it is and enjoy
Crawling around, on his hands and knees, Will felt like crying. He couldn't believe it. The one thing, the one symbol that met so much to him was missing. Taking a deep breath to hopefully calm his rising fears, the young man sat down with his legs crossed, in the bedroom, and thought back to last night, hoping something would jog his memory…..
After getting off the elevator, Will walked towards the door and knocked. While waiting for Paul, Will realized he was still wearing his wedding band, so he quickly took of the ring and placed it in his jacket pocket, just as Paul was getting ready to open the door.
" Hey you're here….come on in."
Walking into the room, Will took of his jacket and placed it on a nearby chair.
" I'm sorry I called on New Years Eve….I hope I wasn't taking you away from anything important?"
Giving the other man a smile, Will just shook his head no.
" Don't worry about it. So where do you want to start?"
Grabbing a bottle of champaign and two glasses, Paul walked over to Will and handed him a glass.
" I was thinking we could start here."
Staring at the glass, in his hand, Will thought about Sonny sitting in their apartment, waiting for him.
" Paul….I really don't think we should drink."
Smiling, Paul clinked their glasses together.
" Will everyone drinks to ring in the new year and I really didn't feel like drinking alone."
Taking a sip, Paul took the glass out of Will's hand then walked back over to him and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek.
" They also kiss at midnight too."
Feeling his pulse quicken, Will knew he should leave. He had a husband waiting for him at home, but when Paul pressed his lips to his….all of his reasons went out the door, and before he knew it….clothes went flying off, moans and heavy breathing could be heard, and when Paul entered him, all thoughts of what was waiting for him went out of his mind. Until it was over. Laying in bed, Will declined the offer to join Paul Narita in the shower, so he waited until the sound of the water could be heard through out the room and as quickly as he could, Will Horton made his escape….leaving without the jacket.
" Oh god….I left the jacket at the room. Maybe if I leave now I could get there, grab my jacket, and be home before Sonny ever finds out."
But unfortunately that thought was short lived because Will heard the front door open and then close. Blinking away unshed tears, Will slowly got up off the floor and headed towards the living room while trying to figure out ways to get his ring back.
You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together
Always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe this could be the end
Walking into the room, Will noticed Sonny looked defeated and his eyes were heartbroken, which caused the man to feel worse.
" Hey. Where did you go last night. I was worried."
Wanted to say something, Sonny just looked at his husband.
" I went for a drive."
Hating all this tension between them, Will wanted to approach his husband, but decided against it, so he stayed put.
" When I got home last night, you weren't here. I tried calling, but it went straight to voicemail."
Looking down at the floor, Sonny took his jacket off and placed his keys on the desk.
I shut my phone off. Wasn't really in the mood to talk to people."
Nodding his head, Will went towards the kitchen.
" I called your mom and asked her if she could keep Arianna longer and she said yes….so I thought I could make breakfast for us and then we could finish talking."
Sighing, Sonny swallowed the lump that's been lodged into his throat since last night.
" I'm not hungry and I didn't sleep much, so I'm just going to bed."
" Sonny….about last night….I'm really sorry. I know it seems like I don't care about what's happening in your life, but I really do."
Not really knowing how to take that small confession, Sonny just nodded then headed towards the bedroom, but stopped and walked back to the room.
" Just so you know….you're interview with Paul has been canceled for the day."
Then he went to his pocket and tossed the discarded wedding band on the table.
" Oh and you forgot that when you left last night."
Then without even looking back, Sonny turned and went straight into the bedroom.
It looks as though
You're letting go
And if its real
Well I don't want to know
Laying across the bed, Sonny closed his eyes, hoping that this was all a bad dream, but deep down he knew it wasn't.
" Can we talk….please.?"
Opening his eyes, he saw Will standing at the door way
" Now you want to talk? I've been trying to talk to you for weeks….Will….weeks and all I've been getting is sharp answers and voicemails….well guess what I'm not in the mood to talk."
Walking into the room, Will sat on the edge of the bed.
" I know I've been busy, but I'm ready now….I'm ready to talk. Look I'll even shut my phone off so we don't get interrupted. I just want to talk to you."
Getting up from the bed, Sonny just looked at Will, who of course looked like he just got slapped in the face.
" Did you cheat on me in California?"
" No….I was too…."
Sonny gave a hard chuckle then rubbed his face.
" Let me guess….you were to busy to cheat? Well you certainly made time when you came home huh."
" Sonny please listen to me….."
" No…..no….no…..you are going to listen to me! Do you even know what it's like to loose everything….because I did Will! I lost everything last night! I lost you…..I lost my marriage…..and I lost the second club! My life…..my dreams…..gone…..all in one night! So don't you dare ask me to listen to you!"
Hating where this conversation might go, Will tried to grab hold of Sonny's arm, but he pulled away.
" I'm right here Sonny…..you didn't lose me. I swear to you….you didn't lose me."
" Oh….then I guess that means you didn't cheat on me last night?"
Watching Will turn his gaze elsewhere, Sonny wanted to cry.
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Feeling his legs turn to jelly, Sonny sat down on the other side of the bed. He hated where his thoughts were going right now, but if he wanted to save this marriage, which damn it to hell he did, even though the poor guy didn't know why, he had know other choice, but to suggest this.
"The fact of the matter is Will….I don't even want to look at you right now and that kills me, because just the very thought of you used to make me smile, so I think its best if we separate for a while."
If there was a hole in the floor, Will wanted it to suck him right up. He couldn't believe things got this bad and he didn't even notice.
" I don't think its best. Yes I'm not going to lie we are having problems right now, but we'll work through them….just like we always do!
" You cheated on me Will! You completely ignored me in California and when you did finally call me back you made it like it was an inconvenience. I needed my anchor Will and you weren't there! Just like you aren't here now!"
" But I am here…..right here….."
" And when was the last time you went to see Gabi? You promised her you would make time for her. She needs to see you. You don't see the hurt look in her eyes whenever I go down with Ari, without you! But just like everything else, unless its part of you're little bubble, it doesn't happen!"
" Now that's not fair….."
" Do you want to know what's not fair…..having a husband who could give to shits about the people he loves…..bending over backwards to try and provide for my family, but having it blow up in my face ….that's what's not fair Will!"
Will felt like throwing up. He knew what Sonny was saying was true, but it wasn't like he was ignoring everything, it just happened, but once he was finished with this article he was going to fix this.
" You're right about everything and I promise as soon as I finish writing the article I will go visit Gabi more and maybe we could go on an actual honeymoon or take Arianna somewhere nice…..wait Sonny where are you going?"
" I'm grabbing my suitcase and I'm packing."
Our memories
Well they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die
Both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry
Running after the other man, Will didn't know what he said, that caused all this mess, but he would take it back in a heart beat if it meant Sonny staying home.
" Sonny…..wait a minute….please don't….what…..what did I say? What did I do….I thought you would want to take a family vacation or even go someplace just the two of us?"
Throwing the bag on the bed, Sonny glared at Will.
" That god damn article Will…..that's what you said. Ever since you started working for that magazine our marriage went up in flames. The relationship you had with Abigail…..that went up in flames. Everything that used to matter to you….gone and what hurts the most is that you don't care! Where's the man who was ready to go to prison for me….because your certainly not him!"
Walking over to the dresser, Sonny opened drawers and started grabbing everything. He had no clue where he was going to go or what he was going to do, but right now the only thing that mattered was getting out of the apartment and away from Will.
Will, on the other hand, didn't know what to do. As he watched Sonny pack his clothes, a little part of him died each time he say a piece of clothing in the bag. He couldn't believe he caused all this. He didn't mean for anything like this to happen. Will wanted to say something to his husband, but every time he opened his mouth, it was the wrong thing. Shaking, he glanced at the bed, hating that it already seemed empty and too big for him. Maybe he'll let Ari sleep in here tonight. Suddenly thoughts of their daughter filled him with one last ounce of hope.
" Sonny….what about Arianna? You read to her every night, before she goes to bed. You're the only one who gets her to eat in the morning and when she's cranky….you're the only one she wants. Please don't leave her…..she already lost her mom, don't leave her too. She was away from you once, please don't let there be a second time."
Noticing his hands stopped, Will silently hoped that did it, but when Sonny turned his head towards him, and he saw tears rolling down his cheeks, Will knew he was still leaving.
" Then maybe you should have thought about that before you ignored me for weeks, when I needed you the most, then cheated on me."
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
No, no, no
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Hearing the bag close felt like it was a stab to the heart for both parties. For Sonny…..it hurt because this life….this home was everything he wanted. When he came out to his parents, the thought of marriage and kids strayed from his mind, because he thought of himself as a free spirit, however the more he traveled, the more he realized maybe he was starting to be ready for settling down. The first time he met Paul, he loved everything about him. He was just starting out playing baseball and they shared the same dreams, so when he told the guy how much he loved him, Sonny thought they would be together forever, but then Paul chose his career over him, and the very next day they ended things and Sonny left the country. Now here he was years later, married to a man who again would rather have a career then spend the rest of his life loving him and building a future together.
For Will….it hurt because he thought he would never get this kind of life. Both his parents didn't have the ideal marriage and his mother got married every couple of years, because she couldn't decide who she wanted. So when Sonny asked him to marry him, Will wanted to make sure Sonny was the one for him, because like he said " He wanted to get married just once and to Sonny" because he didn't want to turn into his mother, but now almost a year later, as his husband placed the suitcase around his shoulder, Will Horton realized he was exactly like his mother.
It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are
You and me I can see us dying
Are we?
Following Sonny out of the room, Will finally allowed the tears to fall as he watched the man he loves head towards the front door.
" Please don't go…..I don't want you to go."
Taking a deep breath, Sonny turned around and saw the broken look on Will's face. A large part of him, wanted to pull the crying man into his arms and not let him go, until he was better, but the other part of him, the part that was done, caused him to stop.
" And I don't want come last in your life, but I am so it looks like we don't always get what we want."
Letting out a small sob, Will wrapped his arms around himself.
" Will…..uh…will you at least tell me where you're going?"
" No because I don't even know."
" Then can you tell me when you're coming back?"
" No because that's up to you…..goodbye Will."
Then grabbing the suitcase, Sonny opened the door and walked out of the apartment.
Watching the door close, Will walked towards the bedroom, where he spotted one of Sonny's shirts on the floor. Taking his shirt off, and putting Sonny's shirt on, Will laid across the bed and sobbed.
" Please….please…..please…come back Sonny…..I'm sorry…I'm so sorry…please just come back to me!"
Taking a deep breath in his husband's pillow, Will closed his eyes in hopes of dreaming of happier times.
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
No no
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts
AN 2: I had two songs in my head when I was working on this chapter, but the more I wrote the more I realized this was the perfect song. The song is called Don't speak and it's by No Doubt, but Glee season 4 did an awesome cover.