Disclaimer: I don't own twilight, or any of the characters.
.:. Bella .:.
"Bella doesn't want Edward to know because she's afraid of getting hurt," Emmett was driving slowly on the highway to Port Angeles.
"Why? If he ever hurts you we'll hurt him."
"No you wouldn't Jasper. Esme is too much of a great mother that she wouldn't let you touch him."
"True," we stayed quiet the rest of the day. Emmett was driving us to Port Angeles to watch a movie. He had four choices and he was desperate to watch them all. We went to Deer Park Cinema, the guy at the booth seemed freaked out when Emmett asked for tickets in a girly voice.
"Umm... I would love three tickets to The Happening .. oh and three to Sex and the City!" people around us were a little freaked. Jasper just busted out laughing.
"Bella, just tell us when you feel uncomfortable," Jasper took my hand, walking up the stairs. We sat in the fourth row from the back. Emmett propped his legs on the seat in front of us, pissing off the people in that row ended in us getting kicked out. We drove back home quietly hoping Esme and Carlisle didn't find out.
The way to the house was quite. Emmett told Jasper about why I wouldn't talk to anyone. He understood that I was sad and couldn't live with people trying to talk to me so I tried to ignore them and keep my head down.
We pulled up to the house and we got out of the car. Emmett and Jasper were talking too quietly for me to hear or understand them. Emmett held the door open for me like a gentleman and I walked into the quiet big house.
We walked over to the couch and sat down. "Bella, Emmett and I both agree that you should tell everyone that you can hear them. The longer you don't, the more people will think it's wrong what you're doing," Jasper stated.
"I just don't want to get hurt again. You saw how Edward treated me! You saw how I reacted, what if that were to happen again? He would try to explain himself to me. Right now, he doesn't know I can hear him, so he can't try to explain himself. I don't have to hear him give meaningless reasons as to why he's acting the way he is."
"But, Bella," Emmett started, "Edward really likes you; he just has a problem with these emotions he's never felt before. He's never had a girlfriend and I think he wants you to be his. I think he doesn't know what to do since you're 'deaf'," Emmett quoted with his hands.
"You're confused," Jasper stated, Emmett glared at him and Jasper shrugged his shoulders.
"I don't understand how he hasn't ever had a girlfriend before," I explained, still curious as to why Emmett glared at Jasper.
"I guess he's never really liked anyone, before you, of course," Jasper said, "Our parents have tried to hook him up with different people, but he never took any interest in them. Before our parents adopted Rosalie, they tried to get Edward to go out with her, but Edward told them he didn't like her like that."
"How could Edward not like Rosalie? She's beautiful," I said dumbfounded.
"That's what they thought. I thought he was insane but he didn't like her like that, instead, they became friends," Jasper voiced.
"I still don't think I should tell him," I stated.
"Bella! You have to do it sometime!" Emmett yelled.
"Shut up! I'll do it when I want to! Now leave me alone," I got up and walked away, I could hear Emmett cursing after me. Opening the sliding door I saw the biggest backyard ever. It was like three football fields put together. Their back yard was huge. I walked further and further until I came to the forest. Should I really go in there? I could just say that I didn't hear anyone if they came looking.
I stood thinking and stepped forward into the dark, wet, forest. It felt like forever walking through the trees. I kept getting cut and I'm pretty sure I walked through poison ivy several times.
Leaves were stuck in my sticky, messy hair. And I had fallen several times so my knees were wet and muddy. I saw a huge spider web and a spider on it and I screamed and tried to walk around it only to have ants crawl up my leg. I whimpered. I hated nature; it was an evil place.
I walked through a mud puddle kicking mud up my back. It smelled gross in this forest. I saw a small clearing ahead and trudged towards it. I saw a little log and sat on it thinking about my parents.
I saw a deer and her fawn eating off of the floor. They looked so at peace. They soon took off and I got up to continue walking, not knowing where I was going. About a half an hour later I arrived at a smaller clearing and there wasn't a log so I sat on the ground. I leaned back on my hands and I pulled my knees up.
I saw a deer off in the distance to my left. It was also eating. I was playing a tune in my head and lightly tapping my shoes to the tune. I looked back up to the deer. I saw a blur of black and the deer was gone. I looked at the empty space where it used to be. I then heard a loud snap that made me jump so high that if I didn't know that I couldn't do it, I could've sworn that I flew into the air.
I shot up and quietly stepped through the clearing. I tip toed through the rest of the forest making it longer than the other times. I saw light ahead and ran through the rest of the forest. I came upon a huge clearing; I guess you could call it a meadow.
It was huge and I saw water ahead. I ran over to it, kicked off my shoes, and put my legs in the water. It was warm and felt nice. I saw little butterflies flying around. It was a peaceful day. The sun kept shining through the partly cloudy sky.
I felt like someone was staring at me and turned around to look. I skimmed the tree line but found nothing. A cardinal flew down and landed beside me. I had always thought birds hated people, but they loved me. I stuck my finger down in front of it and the bird hopped onto my finger.
I pet the bird on the head and it started singing. Soon two more cardinals flew down beside me. Birds didn't act this way, I thought it was really weird.
"Hey little birdie," I said, "Who are your little friends?" I rolled onto my stomach and watched the birds play and talk to each other.
The cardinal on my finger looked at me as if trying to tell me something. I didn't understand what it was saying. I looked at it with confusion and it flew a little ways away and flew back.
"Oh! You want me to follow you."
The birdie flew away and back again. I got up and followed it. I wasn't as fast as he was and he had to fly back.
My mother always told me how birds were intelligent but no one could really understand them. My mom was a bird person. We used to have a room full of bird feeders we left the door open for the birds. My mom told me that daddy cardinals were the bright reds and the mommy cardinals had a little brown on them. So ever since then, I knew who was who.
I reached the place the little cardinal wanted me to go. I squatted down to see a little baby cardinal.
"You want me to pick it up?" I asked. The birdie flew up to a tree a little ways away. I looked up to see a nest. It wasn't low enough to the ground for me to get to it.
"I can't get to it," I said sadly looking at the baby. The birdie hopped onto the tree and climbed to the nest. I looked at in horror with wide eyes.
"What!?" I yelled to the bird, "You want me to climb the tree?" the birdie repeated the climbing.
"UGH!" I growled, "You're so lucky I love animals and you little guys are so cute."
I realized that I didn't have anywhere to put the baby.
"Where do I put him?" I asked, "I don't have anywhere to put him."
I looked down to the girl cardinal and she kept sticking her chest out. I burst out into a fit of giggles and was rolling on the ground holding my sides. They wanted me to put the baby bird in my sports bra.
"Ok, if you don't think the little guy will suffocate I'll put him in there. The mother was still puffing out her chest. I picked the baby cardinal up and placed in into my sports bra.
I got up and followed the dad to the tree. I felt eyes on me and turned my eyes to the left again but didn't see anything. I knelt beside the other guy cardinal.
"Could you and a few friends go check the forest over there? I feel like someone's watching me," the bird flew off whistling and I soon saw several birds fly off towards the tree line.
I got up and continued to the tree. The birdie was chirping in my shirt and nipping me in my chest, which hurt really bad.
I reached the tree and I put my foot on the bark and climbed up half of the tree. I had to rest against one of the branches because I was exhausted. The daddy bird kept singing to me and I climbed the rest of the way making sure not to crush the birdie.
I reached the nest and took the birdie out of my bra and placed it into its rightful place in its home. The mom and dad cardinals sat in front of me whistling and pecking my hands and cheeks. I guess that was their way of saying thanks.
"I think I'll call the two of you Danny and Angel," the two birds sang and I smiled.
I climbed down the tree and the other birds were back.
"Did you see anything?" I asked. They formed into a stick figure of a person. I hadn't ever seen this type of communication except for in Cinderella. So there was someone watching me. I stood looking in the direction of where they came from.
"Point me in the direction please," the birdies were actually pretty smart. They could understand me really well. They formed into an arrow in front of me and pointed to the tree line. I looked at where the point was and I saw a leg move.
My eyes bulged out of my head and I hid behind a tree. Once I thought the person was gone I stated plucking the leaves and twigs out of my hair. I came across a spider and screamed my lungs out.
I decided to take a bath in the river and took off my clothes only staying in underwear; I laid them beside the tree. I dove into the water and swam around before washing my hair in the water. Once I was done I swam around and I dove down and opened my eyes. The water was crystal clear. I could see all the cute fish.
I came up for air and smoothed my hair back. I was looking into the water when I saw a reflection of a person on the shore. I looked up and screamed. Edward was sitting on the shore watching me.
"I didn't mean to scare you," Edward laughed.
I backed up onto the shore behind me so it was shallow enough so I could sit down. I pulled my legs into my chest so it covered everything up.
"What are you doing here?" I signed.
"This is where I come to think," he explained. I took in what he looked like, he wasn't wearing a shirt and his jeans were on his lower hips threatening to slide lower.
"Were you watching me earlier?" I signed. I watched Edward's expression change from calm to surprise.
"No, was someone watching you?" he asked.
"I felt like someone was staring at me, and I had the birds go look for me," I signed. All this signing was hurting my arms.
"You had birds go search for you?" he asked trying to hide his smile, "How did they know what you wanted?"
"I don't know, but they kept trying to get me to follow them and when I did their baby was on the ground and I had to climb the tree and put it in the nest." I signed.
"But how did you carry it?" he asked.
I blushed and he chuckled. I saw him take a breath through his nose and realization hit him.
"Emmett was watching you," he said.
"How do you know?"
"I just can. Let's go back to the house."
I blushed and covered up my chest. He suddenly took my whole appearance in and glanced down at the clothes and started laughing.
"You are so bashful," he stated.
I caught Danny's eyes and lifted up my finger and told him to 'come here.' He flew over to me and landed on my knee. He sang me a little pretty song and I pointed to my shoulder and then to him. He cocked his head to the side not knowing what I was talking about. I pointed to the clothes on the ground beside Edward and Danny looked at the clothes and sang to his friends. Edward was looking at me in awe and disbelief.
More birds followed and picked up my shirt and pants. I lifted up my hands and the birds dropped the bra over my arms and head. Edward and I were staring at each other and he watched in curiosity as the birds slipped my shirt onto me. The bottom got wet. How was I going to put my pants on? The birds looked at me for instruction. I looked at Edward and in sign language told him to turn around.
He got up and turned around. I covered up my eyes and pointed to two birds. They flew over to him and sat on his ear and extended their wings to cover his eyes. Edward started laughing and I giggled.
I stood up and pointed at my legs and at the clothes that were left on the ground. They went and got my last clothes while a few birds flapped their wings around me to dry me off. I slipped my pants on. I motioned to them that the birds didn't have to cover Edward's eyes anymore, but they didn't listen to me. I was confused and the birds started drying my hair and using their beaks to comb through it. Two birds worked with curling my hair by taking it in their beaks and spinning around.
They finally finished and the birds flew off Edward while one was in front of him spinning around to see if he understood them.
"Wow that's just pure laziness." Smiling a little I suddenly looked confused, wondering how I was going to get across the river.
I looked down a ways and saw a huge log. I started walking towards it and Edward looked to see where I was going.
"Bella, you can't be serious," but since I wasn't looking at him I couldn't acknowledge that he was speaking to me. Unfortunately the birds kept telling me to look over at him and I had to.
"You can't be serious," he stated again.
"I have to get across somehow," I signed.
I came upon the log and Edward walked across and took me into his arms. It wasn't what I expected and I was shocked at first. I felt safe in his arms, even safer then when my dad would hug me. I looked over his shoulder and started laughing. He looked at me and met my gaze. He looked where I was to see that the birds had formed a heart. He laughed and looked down at me. I shook my head, making the birds make another formation.
I remembered what Emmett had said. 'Edward really likes you; he just has a problem with the emotions he's never felt before. He's never had a girlfriend and I think he wants you to be his.' Then at what Jasper had said, 'I guess he's never really liked anyone, before you, of course.' Did they really know how Edward was feeling? Could he really feel that way about me?
I blushed and Edward brushed his hand across my cheek. He looked behind me and I followed his gaze I caught a glimpse of the birds in a lip shape before Edward turned my face to his.
He stared into my eyes and I in his. He grabbed onto the back of my neck lightly and pulled my face towards his. When our lips touched an electrical current flowed through us and shocked our lips. When we pulled back, he was smiling. I was still surprised.
"Come on, Bella," he said and lifted me onto the log. He walked behind me holding on to my waist so I wouldn't fall. I made it across the log without falling and I hopped off of the log. I looked at the birds and lightly tapped my leg. The birds went over to Edward just as he was about to jump off of the log and all of the birds pushed him off of the log into the water. I dropped to the ground laughing. He swam over to the shore and pulled himself up. He was soaked head to foot.
"You think that's funny?" he asked smiling.
I nodded my head trying to cover my laugh, I watched him crawl after me. I shook my head and got up on my feet and walked away.
He had his hands in front of him reaching for me so he could tickle me to death. He got up and started stalking towards me. I turned and ran from him turning back to see he was a ways away from me. I laughed at him. I only had about 20 feet to go till the forest.
All of a sudden I was on my back being tickled to death. I was laughing as loud as I could trying to play the role of a deaf person not knowing if you're talking or laughing too loud or not.
Edward was smirking and wouldn't stop tickling me. I need to pee so badly and I couldn't bring my hands up to signal him to stop. I couldn't yell since he didn't know that I could talk. I raised my arms wrapping them around him; I pressed my lips against his. He stopped trying to deepen the kiss. Flipping us over I got off him, standing against a tree trying to catch my breath. I folded my arms over my chest and pouted, all he did was laugh at me. I looked up to the sky. There was no more sunshine, just a stupid sky full of clouds. I looked over to see Edward staring at me. I wanted to ask him 'what?' but I couldn't.
A robin came hopping over to my face and I looked at it. I sat up and turned away from Edward. I picked the bird up and held it in front of me so it could see my face.
"What's the matter?" I lip-sinked, the bird held out its wing and I could easily tell that it was broken.
"Oh, you poor thing," I lip-sinked, I turned to Edward and put the bird in my lap.
"We need to help her, she has a broken wing," I signed.
"You sure love nature don't you," he said laughing.
"Only things that are cute," I signed smiling.
"Ok, my dad is a doctor, so I bet he'll have some bandage to wrap the bird's wing up."
"He'll need to stay with us for a while; he can't just go into the world with a bandage on his wing. When he gets better someone will have to take it off," I signed.
Edward nodded and helped me get up. I picked the robin up and we headed for the trees. The robin hopped up onto the top of my head and when Edward turned around to look at me he started laughing. I ignored him and continued to the forest.
I was about to go into the yucky mucky forest, but Edward turned to the right and led me to a path. We walked along the path through the forest. If only I had discovered this before I came here, then I wouldn't have gotten messy.
The path was a lot dryer than the way I came and I was happy that it didn't take as long to get back to the house. It was very peaceful and there were tons of birds singing. I felt at peace, I didn't feel so sad anymore, at least not right now. The huge house came into view and Edward helped me over a log that was in the path's way. We got up to the porch and Alice was already there, asking to see the bird.
"MINE!" I snatched it off my head, turning away from her. Edward laughed at Alice she glared and pouted at me.
I laughed and handed it to her. "Oh, poor birdie, we need to help you get better. I think I am going to call you Stacy," Alice told the bird. She looked up at me and handed the bird back to me. "Do you think we should name her Stacy?" Alice asked me. Looking at my little birdy, it nodded agreeing to its name. I nodded my head at Alice as Edward guided me inside.
"Carlisle," Edward said, as if he was in the room beside us. Carlisle appeared at the stairs.
"Bella found a new friend, and her wing is broken. We wanted to know if you could bandage it up and we could look after her. It's a robin, and Alice and Bella named it Stacy," Edward smirked up at his father and Carlisle laughed and turned around to go into his office.
Edward and I went over to the couch and sat down. All the Cullen's were crowded around the coffee table where I put Stacy down. The bird hopped around looking at everyone, it came back to me and tilted its head. Everyone looked at us with curiosity as Stacy danced around. Realization hit me and I put my mouth into an 'o' I turned to Edward and signed for him to get a bowl of water she could hop in and out of.
He walked away and was back a few seconds later with water. He set it down on the coffee table and the robin went over to it and hopped in it. She dipped her head in and came back up ruffling her feathers. She was giving herself a bath, and when she was finished she drank some of the water and hopped out.
Carlisle came down stairs and told everyone to clear a spot for him. Esme, Jasper, Rosalie and Edward moved back and Alice and Emmett came over on my side of the table. We watched as Carlisle extended the robin's wing. The robin bit him and he didn't take any notice towards it.
The robin was trying to get away and Carlisle looked up at me. "Would you mind coming over here and helping me?" he asked.
I got up and walked over to the bird. I picked it up and petted its good side. Carlisle extended Stacy's arm and she squawked, but didn't bite me. Carlisle ripped some gauze off and wrapped it around her wing. He taped it together so it wouldn't unravel and he said, "All done, Alice already has a bird cage," he glanced at her and shook his head. She giggled and gave him an innocent look. "So she can give you the cage and you can keep the bird wherever you want."
Carlisle looked over my head and I followed his gaze to Esme. "Would you mind if Stacy lived in my garden in my greenhouse?" Esme asked me.
"Sure," I signed. Alice ran up and got the cage and I went out with Esme to put the bird in her greenhouse.
Esme and I walked out to her greenhouse. We had to follow a trail away from the house for about five minutes before it came into view. I looked around to see where we could put the cage and I got to thinking about how I felt guilty not telling Esme I wasn't deaf.
I tapped Esme on the shoulder and she turned around. "I have something to tell you, but I'm not ready to tell anyone else, so could you keep it a secret no matter how much you want to tell?" I signed to her.
"I'll see what I can do honey," she said to me.
I used my vocals in front of her for the first time hoping she wouldn't be mad at me.
"Esme," I said looking at the floor. I heard her gasp and I continued. "I'm not deaf. I've never been deaf. Emmett and Jasper are the only ones who know this, until you."
"But why have you been keeping it in?" she asked me.
I looked up into her eyes to see that they looked hurt and full of pain. "I didn't want to get hurt," I explained, "I already had my heart broken when my parents died. I just don't want to get hurt again," I said, tears streaming down my face. "I don't think I could take the pain again. I want to live without people bugging me all the time. When I'm alone and someone is trying to get my attention I ignore him or her unless they tap me on the shoulder.
"I feel vulnerable when people know I'm not deaf and they try to tell me 'it's ok' or 'everything will be alright' because no, everything won't be all right. I will never have my parent's back. I will never get to see their smiles, or hear them laugh or cry. I'll never get to feel their touch when they used to hug me. I'll never hear their voice or have their company; I'll never feel whole again."
Esme came over to me shaking; I didn't see tears in her eyes but could tell she wanted to cry. She embraced me in a motherly hug.
"I promise that no one will ever leave your side in this family. I'm glad you told me. I was so worried that since you were deaf, we wouldn't be able to bond like a mother and daughter should. I promise I won't tell anyone, but if you want to talk to me, just grab my hand and lead me out here." I nodded my head and hugged her back.
"Did you tell Emmett and Jasper?" she asked.
I shook my head. "Emmett figured it out, but he felt that Jasper should know so he told him. They both think I should tell Edward I'm not deaf," I looked up to see Esme nodding in agreement, "But I don't think it's time yet. I couldn't stand it if he were to hurt me. He would probably come to me trying to explain himself. It's better for him to think I'm deaf."
"I see your point, Bella, but Edward really likes you. He's never been so open to anyone before you came. He's really changed because of you Bella."
"So I've heard. I just don't think I should tell him yet. Please don't tell him, or anybody else, not even Carlisle," I pleaded with her.
"Not telling Carlisle will be hard, but I would suggest you tell him soon. He will be very disappointed in you for not telling him in the first place and for not telling him for so long. I'm really glad you came to me Bella. I'm proud of you," Esme kissed my forehead and a tear rolled down my cheek.
I walked over to the birdcage and stuck Stacy into it who had been dancing around the flowers making Esme and I laugh. I stuck her up onto a hook and put a few birdseeds in the cage from the bag on the floor. They liked to put up bird feeders.
"I'm going to have to use sign-language when I'm in the house, you do realize that don't you?" I asked. Esme nodded and hugged me again.
"Let's go back to the house," Esme took my hand and we walked back to the house. Inside Emmett was fighting with Edward. For the first time I saw Rosalie actually interested. Alice was just shaking her head; Jasper, on the other hand, was being the referee.
"KIDS!" they stopped what they were doing, innocently looking at Esme. "Go to your rooms, before you destroy my living room." I took two steps up the stairs, ignoring Emmett's and Jasper's slight glares. They wanted me to tell but I wasn't ready. I stepped into Edward's room, sitting on his bed. Edward was in Jasper's room asking him something.
Walking around the room, I stopped at his cd wall; I loved his taste in music. It was mostly like the ones Renee had. Quickly turning around I didn't want to start crying at the memory of my mom. I saw Rosalie and Alice standing against the wall.
"We know your secret." Alice took a small step toward me.
"How'd you figure it out?"
"Alice and I caught you talking to Esme." I was about to talk back, when Edward stepped into the room.
"Why are you guys in here?"
"We thought Bella needed something to sleep in." Rose stepped out giving me one last look, Alice just smiled sweetly.
"We can 'talk' later." Edward looked at us curiously. Staring at the floor, Edward closed the door behind him. He walked in front of me, lifting his hand to my chin.
"You should sleep." his lips grazed mine before he turned to the restroom. I need to watch who I'm telling now.