Helloooooo...
I'm baaaaaaaack...
Prepare for one funny chapter, brimming with awesomeness.
Hehehehe...
Heh. Heh.
WAHAHAHAHA!
cough, cough.
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto!
-Chapter 8-
Kakashi only stood there, shellshocked, as flames danced around his favourite perverted book.
That book had been mint condition, was personally signed by Jiraiya, and was even special print that was made with specially light paper, meant for ninja use. The pages were so light, that ninjas like Kakashi could tell when enemies were sneaking up behind them from the slight breeze that moved the edges of the paper. Meanwhile enemies would be misled to think your guard was down and you were too enthralled in your smut.
Genius.
So not only did it have perverted goodness- I mean, literature, but on the side, it was a great ninja tool that no one ever suspected.
And now that perverted literature of goodness was gone.
Kakashi let out a heart-wrenching cry. "NOOOOOOOOOO!"
All around him, fans of the Icha Icha series silently mourned the loss of the perverted smut- I mean, great literature.
This... This was terrible! It was the worst thing to happen since the Uchiha massacre!
A single laugh floated through the air.
Two identical laughs.
Three. Five. Twelve. Twenty. A hundred and eleven. One thousand eighty two identical laughs.
Villagers and Ninja alike started backing away slightly from the massive crowd of Naruto's, all laughing evilly. One laugh by itself would have been unsettling, but thousands of the exact same laughter, overlapping each other and melting into each other...
Highly disturbing.
Combined with the crazily insane look on his face... Or faces...
That was beyond highly disturbing.
Tsunade started twitching. She was in a very hard situation. Naruto looked like he could do something crazy right now, which could easily be solved by feeding him ramen, but at the same time, the elders (and Danzo?) were putting unbelievable pressure on the Ramen Ban.
In other words, she was stuck.
The best thing she could try to do was to detain Naruto, but as a medic-nin, she had no doubt in her mind that if Naruto were isolated, his state of mind would only get worse.
Forget being stuck. She was practically chained above a lava pit.
The original Naruto managed to get his other clones quiet before announcing,
"GIVE ME RAMEN, OTHERWISE YOUR PRECIOUS THINGS WILL SLOWLY START DISAPPEARING! THIS IS A HOSTAGE EXCHANGE, OKAY?! WAHAHAHA!"
Naruto held the mesh bag, holding a kunai against it as if it were a hostage. People started murmuring amongst themselves, all worried that Naruto had something of theirs.
"Is he insane-!"
"Hostage-?"
"Ramen ban-"
"What about-"
"You don't think that-"
"We should just give the boy ramen"
"You don't seriously-"
"What if he has my-?!"
Tsunade cracked her knuckles. She was going to get out of this the only way she knew how.
"I repeat Naruto, stand down. Your ramen ban cannot be reversed."
"Naruto only seemed to tighten his grip on the mesh bag.
"I need ramen so badly, though! I can't take it anymore! Just give me the ramen! GIVE ME THE RAMEN!" Naruto was shaking, ramen withdrawal symptoms clearly visible, eyes frantic, body thin and tense.
With that, Naruto pulled out a fancy looking bottle of sake from the mesh bag.
Taunade's eyes widened. That couldn't possibly be...
Darn, it, it was!
She had been saving that bottle for thirty years!
Thirty years!
And even worse...
Her voice raised in pitch as she yelled at Naruto. "Naruto, don't you dare throw that bottle of sake-!"
Naruto's hand holding the sake edged suspiciously close to the fire.
"Naruto, don't!"
Naruto's crazed eyes glinted for a second, before turning cold. The sake bottle started flying towards the fire.
"Naruto, you idiot! Old ninja sake is especially ex-"
No one heard her finish the sentence. Some would have thought she would say expensive, but considering what happened next, it's more likely she was going to say...
Explosive.
KA-BOOOOM!
The glass cracked at the impact, and the sake splashed all through the blazing hot fire. A giant ball of fire formed, an explosion even deidra would have approved of.
People started screaming at the large explosion. Some of Naruto's clones, the ones that were closest to the fire dissipated into clouds of smoke. The real Naruto was thrown backwards. The mesh bag caught on fire.
There was fire and chaos everywhere, babies screaming, civilians running around in a panic, while the ninja tried to create order, despite being terrified themselves.
Anko only made it worse as she watched the civilians run in circles, laughing sadistically. "That's it, little humans, run!"
But then something caught her eye. The mesh bag had caught on fire. The outside had mostly burned away, leaving the contents, which were blazing away. And among these contents, were...
"NOOOO! MY DANGO COLLECTION!"
This brought enough attention that people momentarily stopped running in circles, enough to look at the bag in curiosity.
Immediately, terrible, sorrow-filled cries started ringing out.
"NOO! MY YOUTHFUL GREEN SPANDEX SUITS OF YOUTHFULNESS!" Lee cried.
TenTen would usually have been happy to see those terrible spandex go up in flames, except...
"NOOO! MY WEAPON SCROLLS! MY BEAUTIFUL POINTIES ARE STILL IN THEM!"
Even Neji was horrified.
"MY SHAMPOO!"
Hearing this come from such an arrogant genin- a HYUGA, at that, Kiba started laughing hysterically. But then...
Kiba's eyes teared up.
"NOOO! MY DOGGY CHEW TOY! THAT ONE WAS THE CHEWIEST!"
Meanwhile, Sakura's eyes stood open in shock. No... It can't be...
"MY PINK HAIR DYE! MY DYE HAS DIED! WITHOUT MY DYE I'M GONNA DIE! DYE! DIE! DYE!"
The other genin looked at Sakura quizzingly, until they heard something even more disturbing.
Ino let out a blood-curdling scream, almost giving some of the people around her heart-attacks. "NOOOO! MY SASUKE-SMUT!"
Everyone grew silent for a second, staring at Ino, who shifted around awkwardly. The silence was so great, Ino swore she could hear crickets.
"I... Uh... It's not as bad as it sounds! It's... Well..."
Luckily for Ino, she was saved by Sasuke, who screamed loudly, in a surprisingly girly scream.
"NOOOOOOO! MYYYY TOMATOEEESSSSS!"
Sasuke fell to his knees, mourning his tomatoes.
"NOOOOOOO!" NO! NO! NO!"
"It must be an allusion," he thought. Desperately, he put his hands in the symbols as if to release a genjutsu, much how his blonde rival had done only days before.
"KAI!" He screamed. "KAI!"
He watched on in horror as his tomatoes burned before his eyes.
And with that, he made a decision.
He was leaving Konoha.
He was going to escape from his perverted teacher, psychopathic ramen-obsessed rival and his messed up fangirls.
At all costs.
xxXxx
A/N BWAHAHAHA!
HA, this chapter was so fun to write!
Hope it made you laugh!
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More chapters, coming up... Hehehe...
DOODLEMONSTAH!