zigpal- thank you for clappyness, reviewyness and general ness. And ah yes, the consequences of the Ripper antics. We sorta see 'em here, but well, Dead Things will see more of it. ;-)

rabidreject- Don't worry, the fun was there. hehe. and ooh you flatterer re the positive adjectives comment.teehe. but you know awesome, amazing they all do that ego boost thing for me. haha. Thanks for the review, and hope you like this chapter.

Buffy had been the lady of determined focus the moment she and Xander left her house. Joyce had stayed behind- Dawn was expected back from Janice's later on and she had wanted to be there when she returned, not wishing her to arrive to an empty house.

As they reached the cemetery that was home to Spike's crypt, Buffy stormed past cracked gravestones, not even paying attention to the minute orange flags she stomped over. Xander was barely able to keep up pace.

When she finally reached the door of Spike's crypt she paused and seemed to take a deep breath as though calming herself in preparation of seeing Spike and Xander thought this an odd ritual, but given the circumstances chose wisely not to comment.

Once she was comfortable with her quiet rage, Buffy pushed open the door with a familiarity that a person who seemingly only ever came to the crypt to knock the owner out shouldn't have.

"Spike?" She called and she and Xander found the neutered vampire to be sat comfortably in an arm chair watching the latest episode of Passions. At the sound of their arrival, Spike jumped out of his seat and immediately switched the television off before turning to face them.

"Buffy," Spike smiled a smile that immediately disappeared when he caught sight of Xander, "If I'da known you were coming I would have baked a cake" Spike told him sarcastically.
"Spike, this is not a small talk visit," Buffy told him in a voice that made Spike instantly serious.

"What's wrong?" He asked.

"It's Giles," She explained.

"Giles?" Spike scoffed, "You came st- calmly walking over here because of a blip with the wonder librarian? What'd he do? Break his fine china? Unable to have a cup of tea is he?"

"Spike, Giles is in pretty bad shape,"

Spike had only to look at Buffy's somber expression to know that what Xander was saying was true.

"What's happened?" He asked, looking deadly serious and speaking directly to Buffy.

"I don't know," Buffy shrugged worriedly, "Rack hit him with some dark-"

"Rack?" Spike asked, catching onto the name.

"You know him?" Xander asking, wondering why he was so surprised by this notion.

"Enough to know to stay out of his way," the vampire replied smoothly, "You say he's got Giles?"

"Not exactly," Buffy told him, "Rack hit him with some dark majik mojo. He's as majiked as they get right now. And we don't know where he is"

"And what do you want me to do about that, luv?" Spike asked, not missing her wide eyed look at his use of the word 'love', "I'm not a walking lo-jack you know"

"When we do find him, he may..." Buffy sighed, struggling to say the words, "He may not be willing to...or all that easy to stop. We'll need your help," Spike looked unconvinced, "Spike," Buffy said, ignoring the fact that Xander was there listening to every word, "please, just be a...be my friend"

"We got anything?" Buffy asked as she, Spike and Xander walked into the Magic Box.

"Erm, if by anything you mean an absolute nada," Willow told her, looking up from the book she was researching in, "Then well, we got plenty. Tara's trying a scrying spell- you know, to at least look for Giles" She gestured at Tara, where indeed she was consecrating a clear quartz crystal with melted wax and one of Giles' shirts. Buffy didn't want to know why one of Giles' shirts would be around to hand at the store.

"Well, we did find him," Xander told his long time friend, "Or at least the wreck he left behind"

"What do you mean?" Willow asked, wide-eyed with worry.

"When he left here he must have gone back home," Buffy told her, "I think he must already be on the long and winding wicked road." Buffy looked grim, "He left Mom in a pretty bad shape"

"Oh my god," Tara gasped in concern from where she was starting her spell, "Is she okay?"

"Yeah she's fine," Buffy assured her, "Mostly anyway. Giles just left a bruise that isn't gonna disappear from her cheek anytime soon"

There was silence amongst the group as the full implication of this fact fell upon them all.

"Sorry, I'm late!" Anya exclaimed as she came rushing in through the front door, "What's going on? What'd I miss?"

"One of you fill her in," Buffy told them all, "I'm tapped"

Xander stepped up to the challenge.

"Is your erm...friend gone?" Xander asked his fiancée after attempting to explain what had happened to Giles.

"Yes," Anya replied a little testily, "Why? Did you have a problem with her being there?"

"What? Well," Xander frowned at her, "When you were a demon- did you erm, did you look, uh,look like that?"

"Why?" Anya yet again went on the offensive defense, "Did you think Hallie wasn't attractive?"

"There's no safe way for me to answer that is there?" Xander asked her knowing that if he said 'Hallie' was attractive Anya would assume he was saying Anya wasn't as good looking, but if he said no, Anya would take offense over him saying vengeance demons weren't attractive.

"Halfrek was always seen to be one of the great beauties," Anya informed him in a superior way.

"Well, Ahn," Xander said in a reasoning tone, "There was some vein action going on there"

Anya just gave him a pointed evil look that made him jump a little, before she walked over to the rest of the group,ready to face the task at hand.

"So Giles had gone evil- what we doin' about it?" She asked.

"Giles has not gone evil," Willow told her firmly, "He's just...a little crazy right now"

"Have you found him yet, Tara?" Buffy asked, walking over her to watch her swing the consecrated crystal over a small Sunnydale map.

"Well, he's either left Sunnydale," Tara reasoned, "Or he's started using cloaking spells. I'm not feeling a pull anywhere. It's not humming either"

"It hums?" Buffy asked, looking at the crystal with a raised eyebrow and Tara shrugged.

"Well, it's meant to do something and I think humming is on the same list as tugging so..."

Buffy was no longer listening to the explanation, she was too filled with worry for Giles as she began to pace.

"If he's started using uh- cloaking spells, then that means, it means things are getting worse doesn't it?" She looked to everyone for confirmation, "I mean he doesn't want us to find him anymore"

"He might be trying to figure it out on his own," Spike suggested, and when they all looked at him he shrugged, "What? The Watcher's always been a problem solver and now it's his problem so he's gonna wanna solve it"

Buffy realized that actually made sense.

"Yeah, I mean when we had that Eyghon sitch in High School he didn't want to tell any of us did he?" She said to Willow and Xander, "We had to literally force him to accept our help. It's just the same now- he doesn't want us interfering"

"Well, he's not going about it very well is he?" Anya commented, "I mean he turned your house into the melting pot and left Joyce a bruise that isn't going to be easily covered with Max Factor"

"I know," Buffy agreed, "He's just making things worse...god, I just...I just wish he was here to tell me what to do"

"I'm having a thought," Xander said suddenly.

"Please to God tell me it's a positive one," Willow pleaded, but knew from her friend's expression that it wasn't going to be.

"Not really," Xander confirmed her suspicious, "I was just thinking- what if things get bad enough... what if he wants to hook up with his old pal Ethan again?"

"We don't let it get that far," Buffy said firmly with a confidence that she knew deep down she really didn't have. If they didn't get to Giles and help him soon, he would get worse and worse,more than likely wanting to get with Ethan again and if it went any further past that then...well, Buffy didn't know whether they'd be able to get Giles back. "Now I think we're going about this the wrong way. I mean we're obviously not gonna find Giles until he wants us too, and by then it may be way too late, but Will?"

"Yeah?"

"If we stopped the source of it all, would the majiks in Giles just go away?"

Willow thought about this.

"I guess so yeah,"

"Yes," Tara agreed, "Without the source, those particular majiks would cease to exist"

Buffy nodded as she took this information in, a plan already forming in her mind. She would be the first to admit it wasn't a pretty plan, but there didn't seem to be any others to choose from

"Right, then we find Rack instead," She finally said to the entire group. "Tara can you do that?"

"I-I, uh, I think so," She replied, discarding her present Giles-Finding spell.

"Right so we find Rack," Spike concluded, "But what are you planning on doing then?"

"Then, we kill him"

Joyce was having herself a good pace in the kitchen- the room where most pacing happened- when she heard Dawn come in. There was the telltale sign of the door being closed too loudly and then the thump of her bag being dropped on the floor in the hall, exactly where Joyce had persistently told her not to put it.

"Mom! I'm home!" Dawn called out, walking through the house and inevitably into the kitchen.

Joyce was a little apprehensive- the constant hum of pain on her right cheek was a constant reminder that Dawn would be pretty, well startled at least, when she laid eyes on her Mother.

"Hey," Dawn greeted her with a smile that immediately became a concerned frown, "Oh my god- are you eating Twinkies?" Dawn looked at the five empty wrappers on the side. This was so unlike her Mom- she hated Twinkies. She hated most mass produced sugary foods, the one exception to the rule being chocolate of course, "Man, your cravings are getting weirder and weirder"

"I know," Joyce agreed with a small smile, turning her head slightly so her bruised cheek was not in Dawn's line of vision, "So how was Janice's?"

"The coolest." Dawn grinned, "We made buttered popcorn. And then...well, ate it"

"That sounds really lovely," Joyce told her with another small smile and this seemed to hint to Dawn that something wasn't quite right.

"What's wrong?" She asked, "What's the matter?"

"What? Nothing's wrong," Joyce told her, "Everything's fine"

"Then why are you acting all..." Dawn trailed off as she walked around and got a look at the side of her Mom's face that had been obscured from her up till now. "Oh my god- nothing's wrong? Your cheek's freakin' purple"

"It's nothing for you to worry about," Joyce assured her, attempting to calm Dawn down, "Everything's-"

"And your wrist. It's all red and- what happened?"

"Dawn, I-"

"Where's Buffy? What did this to you?"

"He didn't mean-"

"He?" Dawn asked, cutting her Mom off again, "A someone did this? Not a demon? Who?"

"Dawn, please," Joyce said patiently and her daughter stopped rambling off questions, "I don't w- I can't talk about this right now"

"But-"

"Just, please, Dawn, just go to your room"

Dawn looked hurt and disgruntled at being dismissed in such a way when she was just caring about her Mother's wellbeing. Nevertheless, she did as she was told, heading to her bedroom, wondering over who on earth had landed that bruise on her Mom, and guessing how Buffy was going to get payback.

"Kill him?" Xander questioned, "Buffy, you can't kill him; he's human"

"Is he?" Buffy debated whether Rack could actually be classed as human anymore, "Coz, to be honest I'm not so sure"

"All warlocks are human," Anya informed her matter of factly, "No mater how evil they go. They're still human."

Buffy seemed to consider this for a moment as though this gave her second thoughts on the killing-him plan, but then a look of resolve came across her face.

"I don't care," She said firmly, as though daring anyone to question her, "Rack has gone too far. He's hurt Willow, he's hurt Giles and now, by extension, he's hurt Mom. And human or not- I can tell you now, I really don't care anymore"

Giles didn't know where he was, or rather he did, but he wasn't entirely aware of it. He was on a street, he knew that much, one of the darker and more dangerous in Sunnydale- if, for that matter, any street or alley in Sunnydale could be considered safe. He worried for a moment as the sun set, that he was reasonable prey to the many packs or single vampires roaming the town, then he realized with the power currently coursing through his veins, no matter how borrowed, made him more than a match for the evil undead.

Then a third thought came into his mind- that he shouldn't use the majiks no matter what. Using so little so far had caused him to border on a dangerous edge. He tried to remember what he had done to Joyce, for some residual feeling told him something had happened, but every time he tried to focus on the memory and retain some clear image, his head throbbed in extreme pain from the effort of it all.

He rested against a stone wall, resting his head on the cool surface, a calming yet shocking contrast to the heat caused by the energy of the majiks. His mind whirled with images that wouldn't focus, ghosts that weren't quite dreams flitted through his mind as he closed his eyes, tempting his subconscious. He knew, he knew undoubtedly that he was being messed with here, toyed with, purposefully. Rack had known how bad he- how bad Ripper- had been over the majiks, how addicted. Rack also knew of the life Giles now led and had purposefully set to bring the two crashing together.

However, the more the majiks gained energy, gained power, gained control the less Giles seemed to care about that fact. He just wanted to use it, harness the energy.

Then, suddenly, the first clear sharp thought he'd had in hours shot through his mind, piercing his subconscious, shocking his eyes wide open as he was suddenly given the unquestionable knowledge that Buffy going to something very noble, yet very, very stupid.

"Xander, Anya- get everybody out of there when we go in," Buffy ordered, in full on Sergeant mode as she and the others were led by Willow to the place where she could sense Rack was in his cloaked room. "Tara, Willow- I need you to work the defensive spells. Try and keep Rack's spells from working, at least too well. I know you can't do much right now Will, but help Tara as much as possible, right?"

"Sure," Willow nodded nervously as she came to a stop, having found the place.

"This is it?" Buffy asked, looking at the blank 'empty' space in front of her and again Willow nodded. Buffy turned to Spike, "Spike, you're with me"

"I am?" Spike was surprised by the double meaning in that sentence.

"Yeah, we're gonna be the ones to send Rack wherever the hell he came from." She took a deep breath, "Now let's go," And she stepped forward through the cloak, disappearing from sight and the others followed on.

"I knew you'd come," Rack grinned as he sensed Slayer, Strawberry and their friends walk into his place. He kept his back to them for a moment before turning around to face them, a calculating grin on his face, "Ripper having fun is he?"

"He's probably having a better time of it than you are right now," Buffy replied, "Which is saying something"

"Come to fight me have you?" Rack asked in a tone that showed he highly doubted Buffy could.

"As a matter of fact..." Buffy said just before she spun around and delivered a powerful kick to Rack's jaw, sending him reeling. Immediately, he started summoning up the black majiks in response to fight back, but just before he sent it towards her, Tara held up a hand commandingly.

"Pondero!"

The majiks seemed to hit an invisible mirror and were reflected back at him. Rack ducked just in time to avoid them, but a moment later Spike charged him. He punched him, hard. But it seemed to cause Spike more pain than Rack as the vampire grabbed his head, crying out in extreme pain.

"I can't hit him!" Spike said to Buffy, "He's human!"

This clear reminder of this fact, caused Buffy to falter for a moment- could she really kill a human? Would she be any better than Faith, the Slayer who thought she was above the law?

Giles stumbled along the streets, sensing for Rack's place, going from alley to alley. Eventually he came across something, something hatefully familiar and he sighed in relief as he realized he had found Rack's. He knew Buffy and the others were inside also. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. Just as he knew he had to get to them.

The moment he stepped through the cloak he saw what was going on. Anya, Xander and Spike weren't getting too involved in the fight for some reason, but Tara- with a little help from Willow- was casting enough spells to keep Rack's at bay, while Buffy essentially kicked the crap out of Rack, who right now, didn't look like he was faring too well. In fact, Buffy looked mere moments away from killing him. Giles couldn't let that happen, he couldn't. If she killed Rack, who was human no matter how corrupt, Giles would never get her back. Buffy would be gone completely. A murder, no matter if it's for the greater good, is something you never came back from. Giles knew that from his own dreadful experience. He couldn't let Buffy go through the same thing.

Buffy knocked Rack into a wall with an excellent roundhouse kick and he barely had the energy to stand up again. But he did, a look of determination in his eyes and Buffy readied herself for delivering the final blow. Which was when Rack began to smolder, flames licking around his palms and he convulsed, clearly in the deadliest of pain and all the others could do was look on in awed confusion. The flames spread through out till the Warlock was engulfed in them. Then, eventually, Rack let out a loud cry of pain, before he combusted completely, leaving nothing but ash behind and Buffy was able to see Giles stood there, the one clearly behind the flame spell.

The moment Rack was gone though, so were the majiks, and the speed at which they rushed away caused Giles to collapse on the floor.

"Giles, what did you do?" Buffy asked, looking back at the pile of Rack ash, as they all rushed over.

"What you shouldn't have to," He replied. He looked completely drained.

Buffy had no answer to that.

"Are you okay?" Willow asked, deeply concerned.

"You're not evil anymore?" Anya checked and Xander gave her a look.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," He told them as the previously fuzzy memories became clear and sharp in his mind. And he remembered what he had done to- "Oh god, Joyce. I can't believe I...God, how could I. What I did to her" He looked at Buffy as he said this and saw her expression was cold.

"I don't know," She answered honestly, "I really don't know how you could do that to her."

"I can't keep doing this to her," Giles said, almost to himself but the others listened to him anyway, "I can't keep..my past just keeps hurting her. Again. And again. Buffy, how can I ever make that alright?"

"I don't know if you can," She answered honestly, "But I'm not the one you have to ask,"

"I don't know if I can face her," Giles admitted and the group looked unnerved by this free admittance to Giles' feelings. He was usually so English and non sharey of feelings.

"Well, you're going to have to," Buffy told him simply, her expression betraying no emotion, "She's at home."

Giles pushed open the front door slowly, wondering for a brief moment why it didn't seem to make a sound. It was as silent as himself, the only sound to reach his ears being the sound of his own breathing.

He closed the front door behind him before walking on into the hall and turning to look into the living room where he saw Joyce sat forward on the couch looking extremely agitated and worried. At the sound of his arrival she looked up, a look of hope in her eyes that quickly turned to relief when she saw he was back to his normal self. Relatively at least.

He stood there, not sure what to do. Feeling it wasn't right to go over to her after what he'd done. God, how many times must she go through things like this? How could she ever forgive him? She shouldn't.

Joyce got up off the sofa and rushed over to him, looking at him as though to really check it was him again. Once she saw it was, a familiar expression and not a stranger's face looking back at her, she breathed a sigh of relief and hugged him tightly.

"Oh thank God, Rupert," She told him, still holding onto him tightly, "I was so worried"

He initially didn't know how to respond. After all he'd done, put her through, here she was holding onto him tightly without a grudge in the world. The feel of her arms around him, her head leant against his chest, was ecstasy to him. But he didn't believe he deserved this, he'd done so many unforgivable things, and he tried not to respond to the embrace, but it was so difficult. He reached a hand up to her, running his fingers lovingly through her hair and she pulled her head away from him to look up at him.

He saw the bruise. It was awful. Deep, and purple and black and big and spread out over her right cheek. God, he'd put that there. Worse still, he remembered putting it there.

"Oh god, Joyce I-" He brushed the bruise slightly with his fingertips and she flinched slightly, that small amount of contact obviously causing her pain and he felt as though he were being pierced in the gut. How could he have hurt her so badly? Majiks or no, he should have been able to control himself that much, "I'm so sorry, how could- I-"

She shushed him gently and lovingly.

"It's okay," She told him quietly, "It wasn't really you"

"Yes, yes it was," Giles argued sadly, "And that's what makes this all so much worse."

"Rupert," Joyce said simply, but he didn't look at her, so she repeated his name, leaning forward slightly so she was looking into his eyes, which were making sorry attempts to avoid her gaze, "Rupert, we all do things we're not proud of, more so in our lives and with what that entails. What matters is you didn't, you didn't mean to, I know you would never..never...I'm just glad, you don't know how relieved I am you're okay"

He finally raised his head, looking at her finally, but he nearly shamefully dropped his gaze again when the first thing he saw was the dark blemish on her face that he had put there. Joyce immediately saw his expression and knew what he was thinking, so she put her hand in his, pulling him down gently to sit on the sofa with her.

"I'm not going to lie," She told him, "It hurt. A lot. Both mentally and physically." Rupert looked pained by this acknowledgment, but Joyce continued, "And I know we've, we've sort of been here before and it scared me then. And I was just as scared this time... for you" He looked at her in confused surprise and Joyce took it as encouragement to carry on. "I've been married to you nearly a year, loved you longer than that, and known you for an even longer amount of time. I've seen the bad sides of you, and they haven't, they uh...they haven't been pretty, but I've seen all the good sides too and I know how much you..." She sighed, slightly frustrated at herself as she struggled to bring words to her jumbled thoughts, "I know those erm 'bad sides' are always going to be there, always going to be a part of you," Rupert looked deeply saddened by this notion, but Joyce was finished, "But I also know that it isn't you anymore. This is you. I know that as much as I know that what happened today wasn't your fault-" Rupert went to protest, but she spoke over him, "You can guilt trip yourself as much as you like, in my opinion, this wasn't your fault...and so something that isn't your fault doesn't require my forgiveness, because there's nothing to forgive"

Rupert took a moment to take in all of what Joyce had just said. He couldn't actually believe the words. Four years ago, Joyce had had terrible, deep rooted problems with the revelation that Buffy was the Vampire Slayer, doomed to lead the life of the world's savior and all the danger it entailed. And even as she had struggled through the year, learning more and more about Buffy's calling, she still hadn't been happy with the situation at all, even if she had finally come to accept. Yet here she was, showing Rupert she understood more than most ever could. More than he did in fact, he had come to believe. She had seen, felt what he could do when he was at his worst, or almost worst, and she had accepted it, reasoned with it and essentially forgiven him completely without a moment's thought.

He realized he was staring silently at her and she smiled nervously at him.

"That would be your cue to tell me I'm an amazing woman," She joked uncomfortably.

"I don't believe 'amazing' covers it," He told her with such deep sincerity it caused her to blush, "I love you" He told her simply.

"I love you too," She instantly replied with a smile, kissing him softly for a moment but cuddling up to him, forcing him to sit back on the couch with her. As he put his arm around Joyce, Rupert felt this was better than any voiced words of forgiveness.

But something niggled in the back of his mind. Okay, so she had forgiven him, but could he forgive himself? He reached for her hand, which she readily gave, their finger entwining. He saw the light red bruising and raw skin there. He remembered grabbing her wrist roughly when she had threatened to call Buffy. If he had given in any further to Ripper, who had been bubbling beneath the surface, he would have beaten the crap out of her. If this couldn't be called beating the crap out of her anyway.

She was a strong woman, Joyce, but what on earth had he brought to her life to make it easier? He'd brought her nothing more trouble, more worries, more dangers. Was there one good thing he had given her?

Joyce giggled slightly suddenly, breaking Rupert's chain of though and he looked down at her questioningly.

"She moved," She told him, sitting up, "It was only a little, but, but she moved"

"What?" Giles frowned, sitting up also.

"Lily," Joyce explained, "She moved. That's why...it tickled and-" She took hold of Rupert's hand, "I don't know whether you'll be able to feel it, it was only a little and it is early, but..." She placed his hand on her abdomen beneath her top, upon the bare skin.

Willow was sat on the bed in Tara's dorm. Tara was there also of course, but she was stood.

"He just had so much magic, so much bad magic in him," Willow was saying, lost deep in thought, "And I know he hurt Joyce...but he didn't, he didn't go all crazy demon summony. He was able to control it." She looked up at Tara, "And I don't know how he possibly could. I've had less of the majiks in me than that and I wasn't able to control it, so how could he- with so much?"

Tara sighed and took a seat beside Willow on the bed.

"Willow, you've been stronger than you think. You're trying to beat it, you are beating it. You're willing to do this training, even though I can sen- I know how frustratingly slow it must be for you. But you're doing it,"

Tara's words were so heartfelt and earnest that Willow couldn't help but smile.

"I just, that control he had," Willow said, "It just showed...well, he's got further along on this whole Just Say No thing than he let's on. To be able to control it, to not let it...I, I don't wanna be taught by him anymore," She looked at Tara, "I wanna learn from him"

Tara smiled warmly at the red head.

"See," She grinned, leaning in close as though sharing a secret, "Stronger than you think"

"Like an amazon..." Willow smiled nervously, uber conscious of how close Tara's lips were to hers right now.

"Yes." Tara nodded, "Like an amazon..."

It wasn't planned. By either of them. At all. Not even thought about till the last moment. That moment Tara's lips were upon Willow's and the two were kissing.