The Assassin and the Strategist

by xsakura13

"I didn't think you'd be foolish enough to come," he calmly says, carefully inspecting each my assassins and their weapons. "I didn't think you'd be cowardly enough to take a hostage," I counter coldly as I raise my eyebrow. "Besides if you didn't think I would come, why did you ambush me?" And at that moment, my relationship with him began, as well as my life in Wu.

8. Pretty Boys and Good Looking Hotties!

Disclaimer: I do not own Dynasty Warriors or any of the characters. It and they belong to Koei. I own my OCs.

---

"You don't think," begins Lu Xun uncertainly.

"Maybe," I whisper. "What was your friend's name?"

"Lan Xiang San. But, didn't you lose your memory?"

"Oh yeah," I say, frowning deeply. "I guess the Assassins just named me because I couldn't remember my name…."

Kissing me gently on the forehead, Lu Xun replies, "We'll just deal with this tomorrow."

I sigh in disappointment and say, "I suppose. But, I can always ask Da and Xiao Qiao….."

He grunts in reply and pulls me closer to him possessively. Sighing, I let his warmth lull me gently to sleep.

---

I look in awe at my clean, lilac robe without tears or rips. Nice dream I'm having so far. Running my hand suspiciously through my soft hair, I realize that my hair is in the style it originally was before; a half braid and half ponytail style. I am back at the place where I got the Bing Tang Hu Lu. Whirling around sharply, I try to find that dude with the blurry face. I think his name is Lu Yi? When I don't see him, I huff in frustration and push past groups of people. Seeing a small, cozy tea shop, I duck inside. I seat myself on a small, firm, and wooden stool and wait for Lu Yi to appear.

"Milk tea, please!" I call cheerfully to the store owner.

The weird thing is that I don't think people know what milk tea is and yet the store owner brings a pot of warm milk tea calmly. I guess some part of my brain does control my dreams according to what I want. Did I mention that I don't have any money? Wait, wait. Let me try this.

"Um excuse me? I don't have any money so can I have this for free?" I ask the store owner politely. Say yes. Say yes.

"Yes," replies the store owner with a confident smile.

Masking my surprise, I pour milk tea into a fragile cup. Sipping my tea, I easily recognize this taste as the milk tea I made last time. I wonder if I can make someone punch themselves…..

Glancing around the store with an evil smirk, I focus at a burly man in intense concentration. The man is burly and happens to be that cheater from the archery competition. Perfect…..

I stare at the burly man intensely. Punch yourself. Punch yourself. I keep chanting quietly. The man stands up nonchalantly and stretches tiredly. I chant slightly louder. Then, he raises a fist…..and punches himself. I stare at him incredulously. I…..am so awesome! I with a smug grin, I sit back down.

"Do you find that amusing?"

I turn around calmly, and see Lu Yi sitting with his arms crossed, inspecting me with a raised eyebrow. He also looks at me with mirthless expression.

"What? I'm not hurting anybody," I say carelessly. "This is my DREAM!"

"Well, you shouldn't be so violent," he chastises, shaking his head in disapproval.

"The dude earned it! Why are you here this time?!"

"You figured it out."

"I did?!"

He scoffs and looks at me, as if deciding I'm forgetful or stupid. "He left to join the Wu army at age fourteen? He left her? A couple days before he left, her father died? She despised her mother? Any of this sounds familiar to you?"

I gape in shock at him and stutter, "Y-You mean it is true then? I was Lu Xun's childhood friend and he left me?!"

Chuckling humorlessly, Lu Yi replies, "You know by asking me, you're really asking yourself. I'm just someone your brain created."

I roll my eyes and say, "I must be so smart then. But, I still don't believe it."

Lu Yi shrugs dismissively and says, "You'll still remember sooner or later. I'm just here to make it sooner."

"I still don't believe it."

"Then allow me to provide some evidence."

Immediately, I find his lips pressing against mine in a familiar passion.

---

I jerk upright into a sitting position in alarm. Slapping my hands to my face, I find it extremely warm. Why in the world am I dreaming of Lu Xun kissing me? There must me something wrong with me! I bet that wasn't even Lu Xun! It's someone I created to remember my past…..

I shake my head vigorously. Glancing next to me, I see that Lu Xun is still sleeping soundly. I stand up and walk to the window quietly. Grasping the knobs on the window, I push it outward, making a creaky sound. The soft sunlight is warm. Looking downward, I notice that there are very few people outside, probably because of the heavy storm last night. There are large puddles of water lying on the ground in the street outside. I'll have to remember to ask Da or Xiao Qiao about my name and how they found me.

Making my way outside and into the courtyard, I greet the old woman with a grin.

"Is your husband still sleeping?" she asks kindly.

I frown in confusion and reply, "He's not my husband."

The old woman looks at me in surprise and bewilderment, "Really? You're Xin Ying, general of the Wu army, right?"

I nod.

"And he is Lu Xun, also general of the Wu army, right?" He's also a strategist.

I nod again.

"There have been some rumors that you are his inamorata and fiancée."

"Do rumors get around that quickly?!" I ask, appalled.

"Yes. There are many people who love to gossip. Rumors will pass on from town to town very quickly. Especially if it is really exciting gossip and rumors," says the old woman. "So you are going to be his wife?"

"Yes," I say weakly, deciding to lie to save Lu Xun from his fan girls.

"Well then, I wish both of you happiness," says the old woman with a smile. "Would you like some breakfast?"

"Yes please."

"There is porridge in the main room. Help yourself."

I nod and walk to the main room as the woman disappears somewhere. I walk to the left room and seat myself on a chair. There is a large pot of plain, hot porridge. Pouring myself a bowl, I begin spooning some in my mouth. We really should head back while there are no people outside.

After a few silent minutes, I hear someone say, "Good morning."

"Porridge for breakfast," I say lazily, pointing to the large pot.

Lu Xun takes a seat in front of me and begins helping himself.

"So do you think it's possible?" I ask curiously, leaning forward.

"What's possible?" he replies, puzzled.

"That I was your childhood friend."

He ponders my question thoughtfully for a moment.

"I think it's very possible."

"Really?! Why?!" I ask, shocked.

Swallowing a spoonful of hot porridge, he answers, "Remember that fire attack you did to rescue your Assassin?"

I nod.

"I taught you that," he finishes. "You said you had a faint memory of a childhood friend teaching you that. And that necklace you're wearing?'

I look down at my silver heart necklace curiously.

"I gave my childhood friend that. My name was Lu Yi. I changed it when I joined the Wu army," he says.

Does that mean that dude in my dream was Lu Xun?! This is crazy!

I take a deep breath and say, "Okay. So I guess I knew you before. That's kind of shocking."

"Very."

"Did you already know?"

"I've been suspecting. That necklace is very unique. But, when you said you didn't remember who gave it to you that made it less likely."

"Well then. I'll have to ask Da Qiao and Xiao Qiao some stuff and we can move onto recovering my memories," I say, and then frown, "which will be quite difficult."

Lu Xun snorts and says, "You think?"

"Well, Hua Tuo wasn't able to help me so I doubt that recovering my memories will be easy," I state simply.

Lu Xun sighs and rubs his temples tiredly.

"We should probably head back now. They were expecting us to be back by sundown yesterday. And I bet there's barely any fan girls outside," I say reasonably.

He nods in agreement and we stand up. Walking outside, we find the old woman and ask her where her stables are. After giving us the directions, we say our goodbyes.

"Well, this is surprisingly clean," I say, inspecting the stables in amazement.

"Come on,' urges Lu Xun.

We mount the horse quickly and gallop away.

"So," I say casually, wrapping my arms tightly around his stomach, "any other plans to get rid of your fan girls the next time you come to town?"

"Won't you be there to protect me?" laughs Lu Xun teasingly.

I playfully slap him on the back and reply, "If I'm not there."

"Well, I really don't know."

"Why don't you get a real girlfriend and wife?"

"I thought you were supposed to be my girlfriend and wife."

I roll my eyes in amusement. The horse gallops into a small puddle of dirty water, splashing it around.

"That was a lie," I answer flatly, a blush slowly creeping onto my cheeks.

"Was it really now?" he teases with a relaxed grin.

I bury my head into his back and think for a moment. A sly grin forms on my face.

Leaning forward, I say flirtatiously with my soft lips barely touching the nape of his neck, "Do you want me to be your girlfriend and wife?"

When he doesn't respond, I smirk triumphantly.

When face turns serious and I say, "But, seriously, what's your ideal girlfriend like?"

"Kind…..and caring I guess," he replies. "She's a compassionate and beautiful person. Both beautiful inside and out. What about you?"

"My ideal boyfriend? Um…..well….perfect. I know it's vague and nobody's perfect, but in my eyes, he has to be perfect. He's patient, caring, and the most important thing is that he has to understand me."

"Do you love anyone?" asks Lu Xun.

"What?" I say, clearly caught off guard.

"Do you love anyone?" he repeats.

"Well, yeah," I say. "I love Da Qiao and Xiao Qiao. They're like my sisters. And-"

"Do you love anyone romantically?"

Do I love anyone romantically? Well, not really. I mean I like Lu Xun. But, I don't love him romantically. It's more like I have a crush on him; a schoolgirl crush. But, I love him like a friend. This would be a good time to confess, but I seem to have lost the confidence I had that night. Besides, I don't want to ruin our childhood friendship even though I know nothing about it.

"No," I say firmly.

"No?" he echoes questioningly.

I roll my eyes convincingly and say, "The Assassins were made up of all females. We don't have time to date because of missions."

"Anyone at Wu you love?" he asks, almost hopefully.

I bite my lip and reply, "No,"

"I see," he says.

---

"Where is everyone?" I ask, poking my head into Sun Ce 's and Da Qiao's large room.

We've been searching for everyone and the only people around seem to be maids, guards, and servants.

Throwing my arms up in frustration, I yell, "Ling Tong! Gan Ning?"

My voice echoes down the empty, lonely hallway, getting fainter and fainter.

"It seems that no one is here," remarks Lu Xun.

I roll my eyes and say, "No duh."

"Excuse me, Miss?"

I turn around and see a humble maid looking shyly at the ground. Walking to her, I smile kindly.

"Yes," I say, with a gentle, encouraging smile.

"All the generals have gone to the strategy room," says the maid meekly, keeping her head down.

"Thank you," I say cheerfully.

I grab Lu Xun by the wrist and drag him as I walk quickly to the strategy room. He gives me a surprised look, but I dismiss it.

"Okay, here we are," I say a little breathlessly.

I'm starting to feel like something bad is going to happen when we go inside. Remembering something, I look down cautiously.

"Oh shit! We forgot to change! This robe is a little too short," I say nervously.

Lu Xun rolls his eyes and sighs in exasperation. He pushes the wide door of the strategy room forcefully. Suddenly, a long trident with a sharp, pointy blade shoots out and reaches for my neck. My eyes widen in alarm, and instinctively, I duck, place my palms flat on the ground, and swing a leg at my attacker's knees. My attacker staggers unsteadily backwards, giving me a chance to kick his weapon away and knock him to the ground. Rolling over, I hook my arm around my attacker's neck in a chokehold. I mentally smirk. I win!

Then, I notice people staring at me. Their stares are either in disbelief, shock, curiosity, or wonder. I look around the room in slight panic. No one says anything. I look behind me to see Lu Xun facepalming. I bite my lip anxiously.

"Why are you all looking at me like that?" I question the staring people obliviously.

"Who are you?" I ask the squirming person in my chokehold.

He turns his head slightly, allowing me to see his face. He has sharp features, and a pair of piercing, scrutinizing eyes. When I say piercing, I mean they seem to be able to always decipher if you're lying and what you are thinking. This guys seems familiar…..

"He is my student, Jiang Wei," someone says.

I freeze in alarm. If this is Jiang Wei, then that guy must be Zhuge Liang. And if Zhuge Liang is here, the rest of the strangers are from Shu. But, anger floods through me when I recall how Yue Ying disappeared and how I got shot by an arrow. I must keep calm though!

Muttering an apology, I scramble away quickly. Lu Xun grabs me by the wrist and drags me over to two empty chairs. We sit down and wait patiently for the awkward silence to end.

"Would you like a cup of tea?" asks a maid quietly.

I nod absentmindedly.

She brings a small cup of steaming green tea. I bring the cup to my lips, letting the bitter liquid touch my lips. Sipping slowly, I wait for the next silence breaker to talk.

"So, Master Lu Xun," acknowledges Zhuge Liang, and he turns to me. "Master Lu Xun's fiancée, I presume?"

I choke on the tea, and start coughing violently. I feel Lu Xun patting my back.

Sitting straighter, I eye Zhuge Liang suspiciously. "Why would you presume that?"

"Well, on our way here, we went through town. There were rumors about Master Lu Xun's fiancée, and judging by your intimacy…" explains Zhuge Liang calmly.

"So you just assumed it was me?" I finish in irritation.

"Basically."

"Well, I'm not his fiancée."

"Then, who are you?" asks Zhuge Liang.

"An Assassin," answers Jiang Wei gruffly.

"How did you-" I start.

"I've fought with one before," he replies, slightly smug. "That technique you did earlier was taught to all Assassins."

I eye in warily. "And you are all here because?"

"We would like to make an alliance," says Liu Bei bluntly. "We all know that Cao Cao is getting stronger day by day. We have to attack before it's too late."

I lean by in my chair casually, and cross my arms and legs.

Tilting my head a little, I say, "And we would help you because?"

"If Cao Cao keeps getting stronger, both our kingdoms will suffer and be destroyed," argues Zhao Yun heatedly. I must remind Lu Xun to ask this guy about his fan girls and how to deal with them!

I purse my lips and reply thoughtfully, "True. True. But why would we help you? Our kingdom is clearly stronger and will last longer than yours. Our generals and strategists are formidable. By the time your kingdom has been destroyed, Cao Cao's army will be reduced in number. His amount of food, weapons, armor, horses, supplies will all be depleted. His army's morale will be lower, giving us the opportunity to attack. Surely, Cao Cao will attack the weaker one first."

My eyes flicker to each of the Shu generals. My scrutinizing gaze makes them uneasy. They squirm around anxiously.

I scoff in contempt when no one answers. "If none of you can answer, why should we consider this alliance at all?"

The door creaks open and I shoot up immediately in alarm. A slender figure pokes her head in. "Sorry I'm-"

"Yue Ying?!" I gasp in disbelief.

"Xin Ying?!" she gasps in shock.

I walk toward her and throw my arms around her joyously.

"You're alive," I whisper happily.

"I'll tell you later," she whispers back.

Ignoring the curious stares of people, I walk back to my chair. Sitting down, I feel lighter, and happier, like nothing is weighing me down.

"So by helping us, you're helping your fellow Assassins," says Zhuge Liang pointedly. "I'm sure you don't want to lose them….again."

"Them?" I say questioningly, narrowing my eyes at him in suspicion.

"Why yes," he replies in surprise. "You didn't know? There's another one back at Shu. Shui Xing?"

I clench my fist and grit my teeth in anger. How dare he?! Using Shui Xing and Yue Ying to threaten me! How low!

"But, you forget," I say coolly, "that they are Assassins. They can escape whenever they please."

I feel a warm hand rest soothingly on top of mine. Turning to my right, Lu Xun's chocolate eyes seem to plead with mine to calm down. I roll my eyes and inhale deeply. And exhale.

"Yes, but are you sure that they will run? After all, they have their love lives back at Shu," counters the famous strategist with smugness written in his eyes. "They are loyal."

"Love lives?" I repeat sharply and gruffly, sending a questioning gaze at Yue Ying.

She bites her lower lip nervously and nods anxiously. It seems that all of them have deserted me for love.

"But in the end, it is not her decision, but the decision of Lord Sun Ce," says Lu Xun crisply, squeezing my hand in an assuring manner.

"Ah yes. The Two Qiao. Flowers of Jiang Dong," states Zhuge Liang. What the! Is he hitting on them?!

"Wives of Sun Ce and Zhou Yu," I growl darkly.

"Yes. Did you know there have been rumors that Cao Cao was after these two beauties," asks Zhuge Liang innocently. "He wants to add them to his harem."

"Proof?" I say threateningly, leaning over the large table while glaring at him.

Yue Ying and Jiang Wei seem tense and alert, but they don't do anything.

"There is a poem that Cao Cao wanted someone to make," continues Zhuge Liang, faking ignorance to my anger.

I look to the head of the table where Sun Ce and Zhou Yu sit. Their eyes gleam in interest and anger. Da Qiao and Xiao Qiao sit by them. Da Qiao looks tense and is eyeing Zhuge Liang cautiously while Xiao Qiao looks ready to pounce violently on him. Yay! Their inner Assassins haven't faded. But, this is no time to be happy.

When Zhuge Liang finishes reciting this boring poem monotonously, I snap.

"Zhuge Liang," I say dangerously in irritation, with venom dripping from my words.

"Yes?" he replies.

"Shut up."

"Pardon?"

"Shut up. Do you not know what shut up means? Shut up means to stop talking like the annoying way you are."

Without looking around, I know that many shocked and appalled stares are directed at me. I ignore them. However, Zhuge Liang does not find my comment offensive; instead he studies me in amusement.

"So Xin Ying, what do you think of this alliance?" asks Sun Ce stiffly.

"I think it's a buttload of utter crap and bullshit," I snap.

After hearing someone inhale sharply, I add, "And if you can't stand my language then, too bad. But, then again, that's just my opinion because I don't take kindly to threats."

"But, Cao Cao could be after….." says Zhou Yu, leaving his sentence unfinished.

"And your Assassins," adds Sun Ce. "Do you have anything to say?"

I shake my head.

"Well, does anyone want to say something?" asks Sun Ce, directing his question to the Wu generals.

"Yes," says Gan Ning lazily, standing up. "That was some excellent cussing, Xin Ying."

"Yeah, good job on making the Shu general uncomfortable," laughs Ling Tong, while giving me the thumbs up gesture.

"Are we supposed to take offense to that?" a Shu general asks, genuinely puzzled. "Or should we deny it?"

"There's no use denying it cuz we saw ya all squirm uncomfortably when she stared you down," declares Gan Ning triumphantly. "We should just challenge Cao Cao to a staring contest. The loser gives the winner his or her kingdom."

I let an amused smile leak and state dryly, "Why do I get the feeling that I'm your source of entertainment?"

Gan Ning and Ling Tong appear next to me, throw their arms around my shoulders and say in unison, "Cuz you are!"

I smile and beckon Sun Ce to continue. "Anyone else?"

"That was some good talking against Zhuge Liang," snickers Xiao Qiao gleefully.

Zhou Yu nudges her and she retorts in an affronted manner, "What?! I'm telling the truth!"

I smile again. I have such good friends. And I'm not being sarcastic this time.

"Well, then everyone agrees to this alliance?" says Sun Ce cheerfully. I guess Ling Tong, Gan Ning, and Xiao Qiao can make things less awkward and tense.

When no one objects, Sun Ce exclaims, "Perfect! You can all go do your things now."

I stand up and turn to Lu Xun with a grin on my face.

"See you later," I whisper, tiptoeing, and pecking him on the cheek.

I walk to the door, but not before hearing someone say, "And they're not getting married."

I turn around and stick my tongue out at the person-who happens to be Jiang Wei-and skip away merrily.

"Hey," greets Yue Ying, catching up to me.

Seeing that she's not mad, I give her a surprised look. "Aren't you mad?"

"No, why would I be?"

"Because I was talking to your fellow generals and strategist in a way that you probably won't appreciate."

"I'm not mad," laughs Yue Ying happily. "I got used to it when we were Assassins. Besides, even my fellow generals and strategists weren't mad. They were more surprised and amazed."

"Okay, so where did you go?" I ask earnestly.

Yue Ying sighs and says, "So when I went into Shu territory for supplies. I happened to fall into a trap. So they brought me back and I proved useful-"

"And you fell in love?" I interrupt softly.

"Yes."

"Who's the lucky guy?"

"Zhuge Liang."

I feel my jaw drop in shock. I stare at her; impatiently waiting for her to tell me it was a joke. However, she only looks at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something.

"You're joking, right?" I say hopefully.

With an amused smile, she shakes her head.

"Everyone abandons me for love," I pause. "Well, except for Diao Chan…..unless she was in love with Lu Bu….."

"Come on, let's go to the guest room I'm staying in," beckons Yue Ying cheerfully.

When we arrive, I sit down on her bed and stretch. I look around curiously. The room is extremely plain. A bed, a desk, and pale, white walls make up this room.

"So Yue Ying, when you and the Assassins found me I was at the bottom of a cliff right?" I ask.

"Yeah. It was a true miracle you survived. But, at the cost of your memory," says Yue Ying.

"Do you have any idea why I was there and what my name was?"

"Nope. All we know is that you fell, and remember nothing. Well, except your age. We named you Xin Ying because you couldn't remember your name. What brought this up?"

I sigh in disappointment and say sadly, "Nothing much. Lu Xun and I are pretty sure we know each other before I was an Assassin. Too bad I can't just remember everything."

Yue Ying looks at me in sympathy and says thoughtfully, "Well, I know someone that might be able to help you…."

"Really?!" I exclaim, jumping up in excitement with a grin on my face. "Who?!"

"Zhuge Liang and Jiang Wei," she answers laughingly.

My happy mood disappears immediately and I drop back onto the bed with a frown. I give her a reproachful look.

"I'm serious! Those two have been studying amnesia, forgetfulness, and something to do with the brain these days," says Yue Ying, gently patting me on the back.

"But, if Hua Tuo couldn't help me, what makes you think they can?" I ask her.

"Zhuge Liang has done amazing things. Things that only gods can do," states Yue Ying. "And Jiang Wei has much knowledge and potential."

"Well, they probably won't help me after I attacked one of them, and did the whole talk war with the other," I point out.

"Actually, we'd be quite happy to assist you."

My eyes fly to the doorway to see a calm strategist slowly fanning himself with a feather fan. Beside him is a slightly disgruntled Jiang Wei, looking at me warily. I look carefully at Zhuge Liang's feather fan. There's a rumor that when Zhuge Liang goes to battle he takes a feather fan with him, and when he wants to attack someone, green laser beams shoot out at his enemy. The feather fan supposedly has soft feathers as white as milk and a gold handle with a gleaming blue orb in the center. The fan he is holding looks exactly like the description. My eyes squint as the fan moves up and down, almost expecting laser beams to shoot out.

"And no, laser beams will not shoot out of my fan," Zhuge Liang pauses while I sigh in relief, "for now."

I stiffen and give him a sheepish smile. I tug on a lock of hair and ask him, "Why are you helping me?"

"Benevolence," laughs Zhuge Liang breezily. "It's what we do. We help people who need it."

"Okay…." I say cautiously.

"From what we have studied, amnesia can last for days to years. How long have you had it?"

"Five years."

"Well, sometimes people regain their memory after a period of time….but, it has already been years for you."

"Yup."

"Some people also regain their memory after a loud crash, or if they hit their head again," says Zhuge Liang and he pauses hesitantly.

"And?" I say.

"People have also regained their memory after near death experiences," replies Zhuge Liang uncertainly. "You see, those who have experience near death experience reported that they saw their whole life flash before them. Of course, your whole life includes the parts you forget."

"So you're saying," I begin, with anger seeping out of my words, "that I have to die to remember?"

"Not die," he corrects. "You have to have a near death experience or hear a loud crash. I wouldn't recommend hitting your head because that's the cause of your problems."

I glare at him in frustration and say, "And what about just waiting?"

He shrugs and answers, "Well, seeing as how you've waited five years, I doubt that will help you regain your memory."

I look at Yue Ying who looks at me worriedly, her eyebrows furrowed. I drum my fingers tiredly on my lap. Jiang Wei looks at me with interest showing on his face. They all look at me expectantly.

"So, what do you suggest I do?" I ask Zhuge Liang, a little ashamed that I have to ask him for help.

"I'll have Jiang Wei accompany you wherever you go to observe your surroundings, habits, and behaviors. Perhaps something to do with your lifestyle may be preventing you from remembering. If not, then perhaps a clue may help us. Meanwhile, I will do my best to research about amnesia," says Zhuge Liang with a frown. "Jiang Wei? Would you accompany Lady Xin Ying?"

Jiang Wei looks startled for a moment, but he quickly recovers his calm composure.

"Of course," he says respectfully, nodding.

"Lady Xin Ying, you may continue to do what you regularly do," says Zhuge Liang, nodding at me.

"Okay…. Well thanks, I guess," I say awkwardly, rising from the bed and exiting the room.

Almost immediately, Jiang Wei follows me. I make it out of the room and into the empty hallway. Looking behind me, I step hastily to the left. Jiang Wei does the same. I walk forward, and peer behind me. Jiang Wei does the same. I move around, and to my irritation he mirrors me.

"Why are you copying me," I snap in annoyance.

He shrugs and replies, "I'm supposed to accompany you."

I roll my eyes and sprint to the dining hall. When I say sprint, I mean sprint. Whenever I pass by a maid or servant, their eyes would widen and they start panicking. Seriously, I get near them and they literally dive aside in fear. I push the door to the door open forcefully (or more like I crash into them and they swing open), and slide into the nearest seat I can find. Then, I slump down in anticipation and watch the door for Jiang Wei to appear. He does, and looks around the dining hall. After a moment, he walks to where all the food is searchingly. I mentally sigh in relief, but freeze in alarm when I feel someone slide into the chair next to me.

"Thought you could lose me?" says a voice innocently, with a spark of smugness.

I fix a phony smile on my face before turning around. "Not at all, General Jiang Wei."

He shrugs and says, "Just call me Jiang Wei."

I grin and say hesitantly, "All right, Jiang Wei. So how's life?"

"Fine," replies Jiang Wei dully, with a bored look on his face.

"How's Shui Xing?"

"Fine."

I nudge him encouragingly with a sneaky grin, "Does she have a boyfriend yet?"

Jiang Wei looks at me with a weird look on his face. "Sorta. Kinda."

"So who's her sorta kinda boyfriend? Did she kick his ass yet?"

"I'm her sorta kinda boyfriend," answers Jiang Wei curtly.

"Ooooohhhhh," I say, stretching out the word while glancing away.

I turn my head back to him quickly. I bet my head looked like a blur when I turned around.

"Did she kick your ass yet?" I ask bluntly.

Jiang Wei stares at me blankly and replies mysteriously, "That is for us to know and you to-"

"Find out?" I guess monotonously.

"No," he says, shaking his head. "That is for you to not know."

"Hey!" I protest indignantly. "Well, at least tell me if she braided your hair yet!"

"Wait, what?" says Jiang Wei in confusion.

"Did she braid your hair yet?" I repeat solicitously. "When she finds someone with nice, long hair, she'll start braiding it."

I grin mischievously and tug gently on his hair which is soft and long. But, I like Lu Xun's better.

"She probably already did," I say, my eyes glinting in amusement. "I just don't know if she did it in your sleep or something."

"Well, she didn't do it while I was sleeping. She did it while I was being lectured by Prime Minister Zhuge Liang," he says, rolling his eyes.

I grin even wider, "Haha. I wish I could've seen that. She chose the right time though. You wouldn't dare turn around and tell her to stop because you're afraid of disrespecting you Prime Minister Zhuge Liang."

"Haha," states Jiang Wei sarcastically.

"Who else's hair did she braid?"

"Um, I think she did Guan Yinping's. She's Guan Yu's daughter."

"Anyone else?"

"She did Zhao Yun's, which I find very entertaining. Every time she goes to him with a hairbrush, he makes some excuse to escape. Either that or he picks her up and spins her around."

I notice a flicker of anger in his eyes when he said that. But, it passes quickly so that he is able to show a calm demeanor. I definitely won't let this opportunity pass.

"Is someone jealous?" I tease, nudging him a little.

"What?! No?! He does it so it distracts her or makes her dizzy," he scoffs mockingly.

"Surrree," I say, stretching out the word.

"Well, it's nice to see that you're much better than the last time I saw you," he comments in a bored manner.

"Wait, what?" I say perplexedly.

"You know. Last time. The fire attack on our supply base. Poisoned arrow?" he asks.

"Aaah. Yeah, I remember that. I almost forgot about that until you brought it up. Now, you've just made me unhappy," I say. It's not really that I forgot. It's more like I have a bunch of things on my mind that I don't think about it. "Now I'll have to get some revenge. You know, I'm incredibly calm about this for some reason. Is that old man here?"

"Huang Zhong?" he asks and shakes his head. "No he's not here."

"Really?" I muse thoughtfully. "I could've offered him some anti aging cream. Maybe some sunblock with SPF 100. Did you know that the sun can cause wrinkles? The next time you see him, tell him to stay out of the sun from ten in the morning to four in the afternoon. Oh also, remember to tell him to moisturize!"

"I don't think we're supposed to know this in this era," says Jiang Wei sheepishly. "I'm pretty sure this is all discovered in the future. Do we even have any anti aging cream that isn't made of herbs or ginseng? Is that even in anti aging cream?"

I shrug and say, "Ginseng is supposed to be good for the skin, right? The author is just too lazy to search if we have any anti aging cream. She's just assuming we do have some made of ginseng and other stuff."

"Do we even have any sunblock?"

"We have hats that protect us from the sun, but we don't have bottles of white, thick liquid that say SPF 100 on the bottle."

"Why'd you say you were going to offer Huang Zhong anti aging cream, sunblock, and moisturizer when you don't have any?"

"Well, I actually do have those things. I'm pretty sure some form of moisturizer has already been invented by now. I mean, there are natural moisturizers, right? Honey, green tea, and ginseng are good for the skin. I think anti aging cream can also be made of all the things I listed above. And sunblock is basically hats and protective clothing."

"I see…."

"I think we shouldn't know this so I'm just going to stop talking now."

"That's a very wise idea."

I rest my chin on my hand and tap the table dully with my fingers. Glancing around, I realize that there are very few people actually eating. I push my hair away from my eyes and stare at Jiang Wei aimlessly.

"So now what?" Jiang Wei asks.

"I dunno," I say, yawning even though I'm not really tired. "Do you want me to braid your hair?"

"No. Not really," answers Jiang Wei with a small smile. "You know, when you said you and Master Lu Xun weren't getting married, I was pretty surprised."

"How so?" I ask curiously, interest sparkling in my eyes.

"You guys seemed very affectionate the last time I saw you."

"You mean when I was burning your supplies?"

"Yeah."

"We're just…..friends."

"Riigghht."

"Stop copying me."

"How am I copying you?"

"You're stretching out words like I do."

"Anyone can do that."

"But, you're still copying me."

"No I'm not."

"Yes, you are."

"No, I'm not."

'Yes, you are."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"Wanna do facials tonight?" I say, quickly changing the subject.

"What?" he asks incredulously, with a confused look.

"Wanna do facials tonight?" I repeat with a sly grin.

"Isn't that for girls?"

"Not necessarily. Look around you at all the guys. Now look at all the good-looking hotties."

"Good-looking hotties?"

"Yes. Good-looking hotties."

I watch him in amusement as he glances uneasily around the dining hall in a perturbed manner. Everyone else is minding their own business and chatting heatedly with each other. The happy chatter seems to warm the room. I try desperately to hold back my laughter when Jiang Wei's eyes land on someone.

"You think Zhao Yun is a hottie?" I ask, eyeing Zhao Yun as he chews on a plump, white bun.

Seemingly sensing we're looking at him, Zhao Yun turns and surveys us. His gaze is mixed with alertness, curiosity, and bemusement. I turn away hastily in slight embarrassment. It's like staring at a guy you like and he catches you staring at him. Not that I like Zhao Yun. It's just that he is a renowned general. I should put this in a better way. It's like staring stupidly at your idol and he catches you staring at him. But, Zhao Yun isn't my idol…. This is so confusing…..

"Well, he does have a lot of fan girls," comments Jiang Wei in deep thought.

"Oh yeah! I have to remind Lu Xun to ask him!" I exclaim excitedly.

"Ask him what?"

"How to get rid of his fan girls."

"I see…"

"Okay, so look at his skin," I command zestily, pointing to Zhao Yun's face. "Perfectly smooth, perfectly tan, and no scars. Not to mention it looks really soft…. Do you think he can do that without skin care products?"

"Maybe," Jiang Wei muses.

I am too slow to lower my arm, and Zhao Yun catches me with my finger still pointing at his face. He raises his eyebrow questioningly. I give him a sheepishly smile, finally lowering my arm. When he turns away, I wince unattractively in disgust with myself. Great, I just made myself a fool.

"Okay, so even if we do the facials, how do we get the supplies?" asks Jiang Wei reasonably.

I wave it off. "I'm pretty sure we can steal some stuff from the kitchen."

"You're not really stealing it. If you ask them to give it to you, they will," corrects Jiang Wei rationally.

"Whatever. The rest we can just steal from Wu and Shu pretty boys. Oh and the good-looking hotties."

"Who are the ones you consider 'pretty boys" and "good-looking hotties'?"

I rest my chin on my palm and ponder over his question. Who are the pretty boys and hotties? Suddenly, I get a fantastic idea!

"Hold on," I say to Jiang Wei devilishly.

I stand up, place my hands on the table in front of me, lift one leg up, and climb onto the table. Very few people notice me doing this. I place my hands around my mouth in order to make my voice seem louder. Now I can address the people oblivious to my action right now.

"OI! EVERYONE LOOK AT ME AND GIVE ME YOUR FULL ATTENTION!" I yell.

When everyone stops what they're doing and looks at me in bemusement, I start to talk again. Wait, no. Almost everyone.

"THAT INCLUDES YOU, SUN CE! PUT THAT CUP DOWN! NO! PUT THAT CUP DOWN! NOW!" I shout.

"WHAT RIGHT DO YOU HAVE TO TELL ME TO PUT THE CUP DOWN!? I AM THE RULER OF THIS KINGDOM!" shouts Sun Ce in outrage.

"I HAVE EVERY RIGHT CONSIDERING I CAN KICK YOUR ASS IN A DUEL!"

"UNLIKELY!"

"EXTREMELY LIKELY!"

"WANNA HAVE A GO?!

"YOU'RE ON!"

---

After the duel….

"Outrageous! Simply outrageous!" yells Sun Ce in dismay. "There were too many rocks on the ground!"

"Just admit that I beat you with pure skill," I say smugly.

"Never!" cries Sun Ce defiantly.

"Eh whatever," I shrug. "The fives stages of grief says that denial is first. So you're currently in the denial stage. You'll come to terms with it…soon."

I reach over and pat him comfortingly on the shoulder. He flinches and recoils in horror.

"But, doesn't that mean Zhao Yun has the right to order people around because he can beat Liu Bei in a duel?" asks Sun Ce in deep thought.

"Actually, that makes sense," I reply, pondering his question while being completely oblivious to the stares of Liu Bei, Zhao Yun, and other people from Shu. Not to mention some snickering from behind me.

"Anyway, YOU ALL GET BACK IN YOUR SEATS! THE DUEL IS OVER AND I WOULD LIKE TO GET BACK TO MY ANNOUNCEMENT!" I yell loudly.

I get back onto the table and wait until everyone has taken their seats.

"ALL RIGHT EVERYONE! I'LL-GAN NING! STOP ARGUING WITH LU MENG!" I shout irritably. "WHAT ARE YOU GUYS ARGUING ABOUT ANYWAY?!"

"THE UNDEAD SNAKES!" they shout back in unison.

I roll my eyes in exasperation. Seriously, when will this whole snake thing calm down?

Then, I hear a voice ask, "Snakes are undead?"

Everyone from Wu yells back at the same time, "YES! THEY ARE!"

"HOW MANY OF YOU USE SKIN CARE PRODUCTS?" I ask.

A bunch of girls raise their hand timidly and silently. None of the males are raising their hand.

"HOW MANY OF YOU MALES USE SKIN CARE PRODUCTS?" I specify.

No one has their hand raised.

"AWW! COME ON! MAN UP! IF YOU CAN CHARGE INTO BATTLE FEARLESSLY, THEN YOU SHOULD BE ABLE TO ADMIT THAT YOU USE SKIN CARE PRODUCTS….LIKE A GIRL!" I shout.

All the males in the room except Jiang Wei gulp uneasily and look perturbed. Jiang Wei is just staring at me with amusement sparkling in his eyes.

I place my hands on my hips and cock my head in a sassy way. I scrutinize all the males in the room-except Jiang Wei who is now my partner in crime-to make them more anxious and uneasy.

"If you don't confess, I'm gonna keep looking at you all like this!" I threaten menacingly. "All right, fine! IF THE PERSON SEATED NEXT TO YOU IS UNDENIABLY A PRETTY BOY OR GOOD-LOOKING HOTTIE, RAISE THEIR HAND FOR THEM!"

Now that I think about it, I could just get my facial supplies from the girls who raised their hands earlier, but this is more fun!

I see Zhao Yun with his arm yanked upward by the person next to him, and he is glaring at the person next to him who is grinning back obnoxiously. I see the Qiao sisters holding up their respective husbands' arm. Sun Ce has his head held up proudly while Zhou Yu looks slightly embarrassed. I see Ling Tong being squished between Shang Xiang and Gan Ning. Both of Ling Tong's arms are held up high while Shang Xiang and Gan Ning are high fiving each other with grins of complacency on their faces. I think that they think Ling Tong's a pretty boy. I also see Guan Ping, Guan Suo, Ma Chao, and Guan Xing with their arms held forcefully upwards.

"ALL RIGHT! THANK YOU VERY MUCH! AND THOSE OF YOU WHOM HAVE YOUR HANDS RAISED, STAY OUT OF YOUR ROOMS TONIGHT FOR YOUR SAFETY! THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION!" I yell triumphantly.

"Your job is to remember the people who had their hands raised," I say to Jiang Wei after hopping off the table.

"Why?" he asks. "So you can break into their rooms?"

"Precisely," I say with a sly grin.

---

Okay, so I admit there really was nothing exciting in this chapter, BUT there will be some excitement later on. This is just leading up to it. How about after I get two reviews I'll update? Seriously guys, I need to know what you guys think of the story, if it's getting a bit too boring, and if it's too long or too short. So thanks for reading and please review!