Disclaimer: I do not own Dynasty Warriors or any of the characters. It and they belong to Koei. I own my OCs.

"Hey…..Hey!...HEY!...HEY!"

"What?!" murmurs Jiang Wei, rolling away from me, and throwing at pillow at my face. (OHNOYOUDIDN'T!)

I chuck it at the back of his head swiftly, and yank the blankets off of him harshly. Jiang Wei groans tiredly and I grin victoriously.

"Oh no you don't," I snap in alarm when he closes his eyes again. "It took me four hours to wake you up and hell no am I gonna take another two hours of my precious time. Did you know you can sleep through ten buckets of water, five cups of rice poured on your face, really loud and bad music, and the entire Wu and Shu army staring at you?"

"WHAT?!" he shouts in disbelief.

"Haha. Just kidding," I grin. "Everything except the Wu and Shu army. I brought a flute in here and blew in it for a couple of hours. You slept through that too."

Jiang Wei moans, rub his eyes, and grabs the blanket from my hands.

"Heyyyy!" I whine in protest. "You said we could go supply hunting from the good looking hotties and pretty boys!"

I tug on his blanket a few times.

"Well, fine then!" I huff.

"Are you going to leave me alone now?" he mumbles from under is blanket.

"Nope!" I shout as I throw myself on top of him.

He wriggles around underneath me and I yelp in alarm. Once he accidently rolls off the bed and onto the hard ground, I land right on top of him.

"Oww," mumbles Jiang Wei groaning lazily. "How much muscle do you have? You're so heavy."

"Well, thanks for not calling me fat," I grin at first, recalling how Lu Xun called me fat. Then, I frown at the though of Lu Xun.

Jiang Wei throws me a genuine surprised look. "Why would you be fat?"

I shrug, resting my arms on his chest. "A certain someone thinks I'm fat."

He chuckles jauntily. "I find that hard to believe."

I smile at him.

The smile slips slowly away from his face. "Are you this comfortable with every guy?"

I look at him, bewildered.

Jiang Wei wiggles again from underneath me, and I blush. "Er… yeah kinda…at least with the people I know. Don't worry it's not like I'm going to steal you from Shui Xing. Take care of her, okay? She's been through a lot."

"True," he sighs.

Before both of us could move, someone bursts into the room. "Hey! Jiang Wei! Are you re-"

The figure stops abruptly, staring at both of us in surprise, and backs out of the room quickly.

Jiang Wei and I look at each other, blinking. Then, realization knocks us over.

"HOLY SHI-" I shout, scrambling away.

"Shh!" snaps Jiang Wei.

After a few moments of silence, I speak. "Should we just pretend that that didn't happen?"

Jiang Wei inhales deeply and replies, "Probably."

"Can we go supply hunting now?" I ask eagerly.

"You still want to do that?" he asks in disbelief.

I shrug. "Well, yeah. I was in here for four hours trying to wake you up. FOUR HOURS!"

I wave my arms wildly in the air as I keep chanting "Four hours" loudly.

"Okay, okay," he gives in.

"All right, here," I say, tossing him a black, silky outfit.

He holds it up in confusion. "What's this?"

"A ninja costume of course," I say, giving him a weird look. "I brought some ninja stars, a piece of cloth, and a knife too."

"Seriously?" he questions incredulously.

I nod enthusiastically, carefully holding up a dozen, deadly ninja stars with sharp, gleaming blades.

"You amaze me sometimes," he says, dazed.

"Why, thank you," I say, bowing. "Just put the ninja suit on."

Jiang Wei quickly slips on the suit over his head, and I do the same.

"Now what?" he asks.

"No we go out the window," I reply solemnly.

"Seriously?"

"Yup. Unless you're too chicken."

"…"

I open his window quietly, the cool breeze brushing against me. The costume I have on covers everything except for my eyes. The gentle moonlight brightens the dark night. I jump and grabs onto a rough tree branch. I ignore the rustling of the leaves and swing myself up. I urgently beckon for Jiang Wei to follow me. He looks at the tree branch anxiously, and jumps. He stifles a gasp as his weight lowers the branch I'm resting on. Swiftly, he swings himself up.

We keep jumping from tree to tree and branch to branch until we reach one particular window.

"I think this is….Guan Ping's room?" I say.

"How do you know this?" questions Jiang Wei suspiciously.

"I asked around, and mapped out some stuff," I reply nonchalantly.

"Amazing…..just utterly amazing….."

I open the window, and swing myself in easily. Glancing around, I note that this is a room similar to Yue Ying's; plain white walls with a bed, table, and closet. I creep over to the closet, and open it quietly. Inside, I find armor, swords, and commoner's clothes. I saunter over to the dustless table where I jerk open multiple drawers. In the last, small drawer, I find a tightly wrapped, white package. Stuck on the string that is wrapped around the package, I find a small note.

"Hey, Jiang Wei, check this out," I say, and begin reading with great interest. "Dear Guan Ping, since I'm not able to come with you, I've prepared this package of ginseng and rosemary. Please follow the following instructions or YOU DIE WHEN YOU GET BACK:

Soak a handful of the herbs in warm water. Note that I said WARM! NOT COLD, NOT HOT, WARM! Remember the last time you soaked it in hot? Yeah, it almost burned your face off!

After soaking it in warm water, wait about ten minutes. Yes Ping, TEN MINUTES. Why so impatient?

Use a towel to gather all the herbs. EVERY SINGLE PIECE! Make sure the water is completely herb free. Next, apply the water on your face with a separate towel. Rub it on gently, DO NOT SCRUB UNLESS YOU WANT WRINKLES!

Lastly, apply pieces of ginseng and rosemary onto the face for thirty minutes.

And Ping, just because I'm not there to do your facial after I get Xing Cai, Guan Suo, Zhang Bao to catch you and hold you still, doesn't mean I won't know if you did your facial or not. I WILL know.

Your beloved sister whom you love very much,

Guan Yinping

P.S. Don't ask how I will know, just know that I WILL know.

"So all this time Guan Yinping was making Guan Ping to facials?" I ask, amazed.

Jiang Wei shrugs. "I think Guan Suo was telling me about it once, but I never really thought about it."

"Let's look for more stuff," I suggest eagerly.

I open his closet again, and rummage through a couple pieces of armor. When my fingers brush against a silky material, I pause. I pull the object out, and identify it as a silk blanket wrapped around something else.

"Oooooh, what's this?" I murmur to myself with great interest.

Inside, I find a black, sleek, and shiny box. I open it curiously. When I poke a finger inside, I find that a sticky substance is stuck on my finger.

"What's is this?" I demand. "Hair gel?"

I turn around, patting the substance into Jiang Wei's hair.

"Hey!" he protests, swatting his hair.

The part I touched is now ruffled up.

"It's definitely hair gel," I smirk.

"All right, so he uses hair gel. Not exactly surprising," replies Jiang Wei.

"True. Very true," I grin, sliding the box back where I found it.

I declare mission one complete. I consider going out the window again but find it too tedious. I open the door and walk out like a normal, sane person.

"I thought you were going to go out the window again," said Jiang Wei, confused.

"I'm a normal, sane person, Jiang Wei," I begin, ignoring the "Oh, really now?" muttered under his breath, "and I find climbing trees unexciting."

Jiang Wei snorts, his eyes glimmering like stars in amusement.

"Hey!" I protest, feigning an offended look. "Only I get to laugh at my jokes!"

We walk out, sneaking past the bewildered servants and maids. Jiang Wei increases his strides to match my speed. "So what now?"

"Now we go to Ling Tong's room," I say matter-of-factly.

When we arrive there, I knock hesitantly on his door. We wait, tapping our feet. No one answers. I grin, reaching out to open the door. When jiggling the doorknob doesn't open, I turn to Jiang Wei.

"Should we pick the lock, climb through the window, or should I kick open the door?" I inquire.

Jiang Wei blinks. "You should probably pick the lock. It's the safest way."

I shake my head at him. "You have no sense of adventure."

I lift a foot up, slamming it into the door without care. It opens, and I shoot a smug look at Jiang Wei. "You have no imagination."

He rolls his eyes at me, waving it off. We enter, and I immediately look around for any skin products. I walk over to a vanity table.

"... Do guys usually have vanity tables, or are they in every room?" I ask curiously, shuffling through the drawers.

I rummage through meticulously, finding a hairbrush, hair ties, pieces of ribbon, and nunchucks. Finally, I find a jar of skin colored liquid. I hand it to Jiang Wei, who stands behind me glancing at the door nervously.

"And this is...?" I ask.

He peers inside, frowning. "Concealer? Foundation?"

"Hmm."

I continue digging through the drawers, coming across a tiny bag of green leaves. I open it, sniffing the inside. "Green tea leaves."

"Is that all the stuff we need? I really think we should go now," says Jiang Wei anxiously, looking at the door.

"Oh relax," I exclaim, slapping his arm. "You're being a sissy."

"Well, it doesn't exactly seem right for me to break into someone's room," he points out.

"I broke into Ling Tong's room," I correct, gesturing at his door. "Literally. You are just my accomplice."

"Guilty by association?"

"Exactly."

We saunter out of Ling Tong's room, pretending that we weren't there in the first place. However, before we started the facials, I dragged him into someone else's room where I tied a white cloth together and hung it from the ceiling to imitate a ghost. Then, I tied a string to that so when I yanked on the string, the white object moved. We hid behind the bed, waiting for the poor victim to show up. Jiang Wei wouldn't keep his ideas of chivalry to himself, so I had to endure a half hour lecture about it. Really, Jiang Wei, if I wanted to know more about chivalry, I'll go to Europe about a thousand years later and become a knight. Maybe I'll join the Hundred Year's War too while I'm at it. Oh, but I might get killed by a longbow or gunpowder weapons. Nevermind, then!

When the poor victim finally enters his room, I yank as hard as I can on the string, screeching shrilly.

"LEEAVE. WE ARE HERE TO HAUNT YOOU. LEEAVVE NOOW!"

The victim screams and hastily scrambles out of the room. Or tries to scramble out the room. He trips, faceplanting. The victim tries crawl away—and fails as he bangs his head against the wall. Next to me, Jiang Wei face palms.

"OKAY! STOP! I'LL GIVE THE MONEY I LOST IN THE BET TO YUNLU! I KNEW I SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE THE BET WITH HER! I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ZHAO YUN WAS FREAKED OUT BY COCKROACHES! HONESTLY! I DIDN'T KNOW HE COULD CLIMB WATERFALLS, SURVIVE A FALL OFF A CLIFF, AND TRAVEL TO THE FUTURE TO FIND COCKROACH REPELLENTS! I'M TELLING THE TRUTH! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A TAKI—TAXI IS. I DIDN'T KNOW YOU CAN'T EXECUTE RANDOM PEOPLE ON THE STREET!"

I restrain myself from bursting into laughter by slapping my hand over my mouth. The victim dived through the doorway muttering something about "a poleete officer holding a piece of metal at him and telling him to hold his hands up. And when he didn't, there was a loud 'bang!', and there were lights flashing from boxes people were holding."

"Did...he...piss his pants?" I ask, wiping tears from my eyes.

"..."

"I think we should stop now."

"I think we should too."

We exit the room, slipping off the ninja costume. I still snicker unattractively, my cheeks hurting like crazy. Once again, I ignore the stares I get. I must look like crazy escaped prisoner.

Jiang Wei looks over at me, brushing his fringe away from his face. "Are you always this..."

"Weird?" I supply, looking at him.

"I was going to say carefree, but that works too," he says, turning into this room.

I follow. "Sometimes, I guess."

My giddiness has worn of by now. I flop down on his bed—which is neat and untouched with the covers tucked. Letting my hair fan out on the bed, I kick my feet.

"So now what?" he asks, sitting down on a chair sipping a warm cup of tea.

I leap off his bed eagerly, grabbing Guan Ping's package of facial materials. Reading over the note again, I fill a clay bowl with warm water and scatter a handful of the herbs inside. They float on top of the water, some pieces sinking down.

"Are you always this comfortable with every guy?"

I blink, staring at him. "I thought we discussed this question already."

Jiang Wei leans back, placing his arms behind his head. "It's not 'discuss' but more like a three or four sentence answer."

I roll my eyes, seating myself next to him. "Why so curious?"

Jiang Wei shrugs. "I always see you with a bunch of guys."

"Keep in mind that there are very few females I can become friends with. The male population here is much larger than female."

"True."

"Besides, I'm only friendly with the guys I trust. Gan Ning, Ling Tong, and everyone else are practically my brothers by now. And if Shui Xing trusts you, that's good enough for me."

I smile, ruffling his hair like what a sister would do to a brother. "I wasn't exactly bestie bestie with Zhuge Liang-"

"Prime Minister Zhuge Liang," corrects Jiang Wei automatically.

I roll my eyes but keep the smile. "But, if Yue Ying is happy with him, that's good enough for me."

Jiang Wei nods, pondering something for a moment. He reaches over to pour himself another cup of tea. As he starts, to lift it, I quickly snatch it away from him.

"Hey!" he protests.

"Thanks!" I say, flashing him a cheeky grin.

He shakes his head and looks me in the eye as I take a sip. "What about Master Lu Xun?"

I splutter incredulously, accidently burning my tongue. Coughing, my body shakes causing the tea in the cup to splatter out. The fiery liquid burns my hand, making me drop the cup as if it is a bomb. The porcelain cup shatters on the floor with the remaining tea spreading out. Jiang Wei jumps up in alarm, appearing next to me.

I wipe my mouth with the back of my hand and glare at Jiang Wei fiercely.

"What about Master Lu Xun?" I say flatly.

Jiang Wei purses his lips, brows furrowing. "It's just that I'm sure you see him as more than a friend."

I bend down, squatting as I pick up the pieces of broken ceramic.

"Be careful! Don't touch-" he starts to warn, squatting down next to me.

I inhale sharply as a piece of glass slices across my palm.

"See! Now look what happened!" he exclaims, hands wrapping around my wrist as he inspects my palm.

Blood starts to slowly seep out of the cut. It looks like lava flowing out of a volcano. Jiang Wei pushes me into a chair. He walks to the side of the room briskly, returning with a rectangular, wooden box.

"Hold out your hand," he orders. "Honestly, you'd think even a kid would know not to use your bare hands to pick up broken ceramic like that!"

Jiang Wei presses a small piece of cotton to the gash, effectively soaking up the blood. Then, he applies a salve and bandages my whole hand.

I raise an eyebrow. "All I really needed was a piece of cloth. The cut isn't even that deep."

"Would you like bacteria entering your bloodstream?" he questions, packing away the box.

I start to argue, as it's what naturally comes to mind, but I'm interrupted by a knocking on the door.

Jiang Wei turns my hand over to check if he bandaged it correctly. "Come in."

The door opens and a pair of familiar footsteps walk in. "Master Jiang Wei."

Jiang Wei looks up at the intruder, puzzled. "Yes?"

"Your presence is requested tomorrow morning in the strategy room."

Jiang Wei nods silently.

"And Lady Xin Ying?"

I turn around, a sense of dread settling in my stomach. It feels like there is something bad that's about to happen. For example, do you ever watch a movie, and you hear the slow, terrifying dissonance? And you know someone's about to get murdered? Or when your a centimeter away from the drop on a roller coaster and your inevitable, impending doom? Yeah, well, that's exactly how I feel right now. Cue the scream.

I lift my eyes from the ground, and my gaze settles on the irritated person standing in front of the doorway. His face hardens, and his eyes are cold.

"Your presence is also requested," he says rigidly.

He bows, and turns swiftly to exit the room. I exhale as soon as he's out of the room. I didn't even realize I was holding my breath. Jiang Wei releases his grip on my hand. I freeze. He was holding my hand?

Oh...shit.

I wake up and for a moment, I don't remember anything. I don't remember the fights and troubles that surround. But, only for one blissful moment. The second I remember everything, my hands tear at my pillow.

I chuck the pillow harshly against the wall. Last night, Jiang Wei and I finished up the mask, keeping silent most of the time. Honestly, my worries were on Lu Xun and how pissed he looked last night. Well, lack of anger I should say. There are those people who enjoy not screaming at you. Instead, they give you the cold shoulder. I shudder. The silent seething anger that freezes you into a block of ice. They may not seem mad. They'll look cool and indifferent. However, on the inside, they're ready to rip you to pieces like a dog with a piece of meat. Inside, they'll be pissed off and ready to decapitate you at any given moment.

I blink rapidly, clearing the blur from my eyes. Perhaps I should hire a bodyguard. Not that I lack faith in my fighting abilities. In case, Lu Xun should decide to release insane, cannibal squirrels on me, I should prepare myself. But, my bodyguard would most likely be male seeing as how the female population has their own swooning to attend to. Either that, or they'll roll their eyes at me and scoff at my stupidity and such. Hey! I never said I was normal! But, wouldn't getting a male bodyguard piss Lu Xun off even more? Does he have some sort of dislike for my companionship with the male population? I always thought Ling Tong and Gan Ning were his besties. Or was it his books that came first? Maybe, it was Zhou Yu's lectures. Frankly, I don't see how he can be interested in Zhou Yu's "words of wisdom and guide to survive high blood pressure from Zhuge Liang's taunts." In fact, I think I would have accidently impaled myself with a painting brush by the time he said two sentences.

"Hey!"

Oops! Did I say that out loud?

"Yes. You did. I can hear you from outside."

Well, then stop eavesdropping.

"..."

I swing off my bed and change into a red top with white sleeves and a blue skirt. Then, I brush out my hair, grumbling about the insensitivity that people seem to lack these days. I grimace when I recall scaring my victim yesterday. All right, maybe I'm a little insensitive too. But, just a little!

I splash cold water into my face, the iciness biting into my skin. Forcing back a shiver, a braid back a few pieces of hair and pin them at the back of my head. My stomach rumbles impatiently. Then, I march to the dining hall for food. What to eat? I could have porridge, red bean buns, taro buns, rice, and egg tarts. I want something soupy so I take a porcelain bowl and deftly ladle porridge into my bowl. Moving quickly, I accidently spill some over the edge, but I choose to ignore it. It's warm with green onions, eggs, and chunks of chicken implanted inside. I choose a table that seats two people at the corner of the dining hall. Pouring myself a cup of tea, I sip the bitter liquid and spoon in a mouthful of porridge.

"Greetings."

Gan Ning swings himself into the seat across from me, heaving his legs onto the table in a relaxed position. He has one ankle crossed over the other.

I wrinkle my nose, miffed. "Is that really necessary?"

"What?" asks Gan Ning innocently, arms crossed over his chest, tipping back on his chair.

I nod in disgust towards his black boots crusted in mud. It's dangerously close to my bowl of porridge, and I can already imagine him kicking my breakfast or if the mud drops into my bowl.

I eye his boots apprehensively, setting down my spoon at the edge of the bowl. "You are ruining my appetite."

"I never said I was here to make you hungry," replies Gan Ning, insouciant.

He flashes me a lazy grin. Seeing a piece of mud flake off his boots, I push my bowl away in dismay. I feel queasy.

"Then, what are you here for?" I demand, annoyed.

I cross my arms over my chest, mirroring him except for the part where my feet isn't on the table.

"Here to keep you single," he says pleasantly.

"What?"

"You wouldn't imagine the rumors that I heard about you going off with General Jiang Wei," Gan Ning shrugs. "Not that I have anything against the guy, but..."

"But?" I press.

"You gonna eat that?" he asks, nodding towards the bowl.

"No thank you," I say in distaste, scowling.

"I'll take it, then," he says, swiftly scooping away the bowl and spoon.

I raise an eyebrow. "You could just go get your own. I doubt you'd want to eat that...even if it was your own boots that was in close proximity with it."

"Such a waste of money," he replies, unconcerned.

"You aren't even paying for it!" I exclaim incredulously. "It's free!"

Gan Ning dismissed the thought. "Think of all the starving children in er...Africa."

"Don't give me that bull!" I scoff. "No offense to anyone, but that's clearly not what you're thinking about. Too lazy to get up for your own breakfast?"

Gan Ning ignores me, shoving down a mouthful of porridge. He chews thoughtfully for a moment. He swallows. "Anyway, stay single for now. All right?"

I look at him, frustrated and confused. "Why?"

"You wouldn't imagine how pissed Lu Xun looked yesterday," he remarks casually. "I'm pretty sure it had nothing to do with me and Ling Tong setting off bombs in a Shu general's room-"

"What?!"

"But, I heard about you being in that Shu guy's room, and I put the pieces together."

"...Are you sure that you and Ling Tong didn't piss him off."

"Nope," Gan Ning shakes his head. "We've planted bombs in Sun Ce's room, and that didn't piss him off."

I feel lost. "But that's Sun Ce. This is Shu people."

Gan Ning snorts. "Would you fear Sun Ce's wrath or the wrath of benevolent, virtuous Shu people."

He has a point there.

"Are you basically asking me to avoid the male population?" I ask doubtfully.

I push my hair away from my face as Gan Ning slurps down the remainder of my breakfast. I watch it sadly, remembering how hungry I was.

"Basically," he confirms.

"You do realize that you're a male, right?"

Gan Ning pauses, musing this "problem."

"Eh. It's okay. Lu Xun won't mind," he says dismissively.

I snort. "You're just contradicting your previous statement."

Gan Ning slams down his empty bowl, shaking the table. My tea sloshes over. I recoil, flinching away. It reminds me of the way I burned and cut my hand yesterday. Wincing, I glance at my bandaged hand.

Gan Ning appears to not have noticed. "That tasted good."

I roll my eyes.

"It's so nice you're concerned for Lu Xun. You're such a great friend," I say, words dripping with sarcasm.

Gan Ning looks pleased. "I am. Aren't I?"

I sigh wearily.

"By the way, we'll be cleaning the stables and washing the horses next week cuz a certain someone found out that we sneaked soy sauce..."

My head snaps up. "Lu Xun?"

"Yup."

"He tasted the wine. He was not happy. All four of us will be doing some 'maid' service."

"Can this get any worse?"

"He was very unhappy."

I grumble.

"And so we can send a group to release the snakes against the Wei forces."

Everyone murmurs in agreement. Sending snakes to fight against the Wei forces would work as they would still be attacked even after the snakes are decapitated. I cannot believe that the whole incident with snakes had escalated to this degree—where we would be using them as military weapons. But, then again, in another thousand years, the Mongols would use biological warfare and spread the bubonic plague throughout Europe.

"However, rumors have been going about in the city about our plan against the Wei army," continues Zhuge Liang in his infuriating calm tone. "Our main priority should be distracting people of this plan. If the villagers know about our plan, spies that the Wei army sends here would know."

Sun Ce speaks up. "And how do you propose that we distract the villagers?"

Zhuge Liang hides an amused smile behind his feather fan. "It's quite simple really."

"Continue."

Everyone leans forward curiously, wondering what brilliant plan the Sleeping Dragon has come up with now. A feeling of trepidation starts to settle in my stomach. My heart drops when I catch Zhuge Liang glancing my way.

"Well, do you recall when I said that there have been rumors about Master Lu Xun's fiancee?"

Sun Ce nods. I feel slightly nauseous. My dread increases. I know this cannot be good.

Zhuge Liang smiles pleasantly. "My plan—keep in mind that this is only a proposal, an idea—is that Lady Xin Ying could wed Master Lu Xun."

Hi everyone! So I haven't updated in a long time—my sincerest apologies. When I noticed that a lot of people have been favoriting and following, I felt that it's time I update. Was that a nice cliffhanger? What do you think Xin Ying will say? How do you think Lu Xun will react? Answer my questions in a review! Anyway, you guys are absolutely AWESOME! Thanks for supporting me.

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