Meeting Vanellope - Drabble
Hiro's Point of View
Friends? I don't have that many of them. Being the special little shit that I've always been friends were never easy to come by for me. For a long time I've been ahead of my grade, which means that no one wants to be seen with or be friends with "the immature baby". Even up through high school I got that kind of crap. I only have two friends my age. Fiske and Vanellope. You've met Fiske, but Vanellope Von Schweetz is a completely different story.
She was the girl that I took to prom. We sat there and made fun of everyone the entire time. She was the only thing that made going worth it. And it fulfilled her dreams of going to a school dance with a gay guy. Why she wanted to do that I will never understand. I wasn't even going to attend that shitty dance but Tadashi wasn't having any of it. He's always wanted the best for me, and still does. That's why he doesn't really like Nell. Dashi tolerates her but he doesn't trust her at all. Is he right in not trusting her? Absolutely. I remember when I first met Nell. We were ten years old and she was hell bent on making my life difficult. I remember it like it happened yesterday because it was so wrought with bullshit it made my head spin…
(Cue really cool flashback intro)
I was ambling around Litwak's Arcade looking for something interesting to play, when bullshit came flying out of nowhere. I was waiting for some dork to finish with Mortal Kombat 2 when this girl in the most ridiculous outfit I had ever seen sauntered up to me. Clad in so much mint green you could practically smell the pungent freshness just by looking at her. Coupled with swirly striped leggings, a brown skirt, and a Lucky Charms disaster area of barrettes in her hair, she looked like she Candy Land reject.
The walking Altoids container pranced right up to me, grabbed my face, kissed me on the lips, and promptly left. I must've stood there for a full minute with possibly the dumbest expression on my face. My first kiss, and I didn't even say a god damn word to the girl. The shit is this!? I shrugged and decided to just ignore that that ever happened. That is until I reached for my wallet and it was nowhere to be found.
"Bitch!" I said aloud to no one in particular, attracting a few concerned looks from those around me.
That sneaky little shit had fucking swiped my wallet! Where the hell was Dora the Explorer with her "Swiper no swiping" crap when you needed her? I quickly started in the direction little miss Junior Mints had swooped off to. Looking through all of the faces throughout the arcade was a little daunting. A sinking feeling in my chest that my wallet was gone forever began eating away at my insides as I frantically continued searching for that brat. Funny, usually it's me that's getting referred to as "brat".
Tadashi is going to kill me. Aunt Cass is going to rip my ear off she's going to wrench on it so hard. That's when I saw Minty Fresh over by Street Fighter. My first plan was to simply punch her, get my wallet and briskly leave the arcade, but that's probably not going to work. She could most likely take me down without even using both hands. I stopped in front of Pac-Man to collect myself. I don't have my wallet but I still have my dignity. This situation requires at least a small amount of finesse. And I do stress small. Swiper still has my wallet and I'm still pretty pissed about it. Oh well. Things can't get any worse from here.
Vanellope's Point of View
Another day, another pile of wallets to add to my ever-growing collection. I'm feeling pretty proud of myself. I mean, my dad would murder me if he found out about any of this. But hey, I don't have to worry about that until he finds out. I was strolling through the arcade looking for another chump to rip off, when that dorky looking Asian kid with the messy hair timidly went up to me… asking for help? What the hell?
"Um, I don't mean to bother you," The kid said skittishly, "But the employees won't help me find my wallet. Will you help me? Please?"
"Beat it, twip. I'm busy," I replied maybe a little harsher than I meant it to sound. But the sooner I got rid of him, the sooner I could get more cash.
"Please, my aunt would kill me if she found out I lost it," Twip continued.
"You visiting your Aunt or something? Just ask her for a new one," I retorted.
"I'm not visiting her, I live with her. My parents died a long time ago, and I don't want to put my aunt out any more than I already have. Please help me," Twip pleaded, desperation growing more evident in his voice.
Jesus. This kid was an orphan!? I steal from orphans now!? Guilt washed over me like a tidal wave. Yup, the Water Nation had arrived and was drowning me in self-hatred and remorse. Awesome. What made it even worse was the puppy dog eyes. He had these sad, warm, russet eyes. They were Puss in Boots status. He looked so small and helpless that I couldn't bare it anymore.
"I… I took your wallet. I'm sorry," I said contritely, then offered him back the damned thing.
"Thanks, loser," The little shit replied, snatched back the wallet, and pranced off.
I stood there stunned. Had that little douche waffle just manipulated me into giving his wallet back!? No one pulls that shit with me. Ever. Though my rage quickly dissipated after a few moments. I had stolen his wallet in the first place, and that was pretty rude. But if I had that kid on my side, my pick pocketing could ascend to a whole new level! With his help, there would much less of a chance of me getting caught. Yes! With my nimble fingers and his acting skills, we would be unstoppable!
I began the odyssey that was finding the shortest kid to ever exist. I thought I was short at 5'0", but this little boy took the cake. Or at least he would if he could reach it. After a long while I finally spotted him in front of Hero's Duty. I bet you really have to watch where you step in a game like that. They were holding a competition for it and you had to choose a partner to play against another team of two. Perfect. He's standing over on the singles side trying to get himself a teammate. This was going to be easier than I thought.
I strode up to him, grabbed him by the wrist, and hauled him over to the people who already had partners and were waiting in line. It was a struggle getting the little shit to cooperate. I mean, I had only stolen his wallet! It's not like I showed up at his house and assassinated his cat.
"Excuse you! What do you think you're doing?!" Twip asked.
I extended my hand to him, "Champ. Sport. Tiger. How ya doin'? We didn't properly meet yet. Schweetz. Vanellope Von Schweetz."
He regarded my hand with uncertainty, then looked up at me, "Well, agent Double O Shit Ball. If you're here to take my wallet again you can forget it. If you try that crap again I'll scream and say that you touched me."
"I don't doubt it for a moment, short stack," I replied, "I'm not here to take your wallet. But my arm is getting tired and I still don't know your name."
He took my hand and gently shook it, "My name is Hiro. Hiro Hamada."
"Well Hiro Potata. I have a proposition for you," I replied putting on the sweetest smile I could muster, "I want you as a partner in crime. No one has ever gotten their wallet back from me until today, and I am honestly impressed. What do you say, chum? Help me to help you?"
Hiro wasn't buying it, "I don't steal. And I don't trust you."
I feigned offense, "Don't trust me?! Aw come on, Hiro. We could be like Bonnie and Clyde! It'll be great!"
"Bonnie and Clyde ended up shot in an automobile," Hiro replied.
"I'm going to completely ignore that you just said that," I retorted, "Why don't we discuss this more at length over apology donuts?"
That got Hiro's attention, "Donuts? Like, the not-stolen kind right?"
"Whatever floats your boat, twip," I replied, "I know this great place a few blocks away. I'll get you as many as you want after the game."
We stood there and talked for about twenty minutes before it was finally our turn to play. I learned that, just like me, he really was an orphan. Though he lived with his aunt while I was adopted by Ralph Wreckit. I call him anything from Dad to Stinkbrain. We have a very loving relationship. Hiro also told me a bit about his love for robotics. What a nerd. I mean really. I bet his favorite movie growing up was the Iron Giant. I told him about my dreams of one day becoming a Nascar driver. Then he called me a nerd and asked if I was excited for the next Fast and the Furious movie. I'm not going to admit it but I'm totally going to be the first one in line at the theatre when it comes out. Vin Diesel is my muse. My flame.
Then some rude guy in front of us turned back and said, "Hey midgets, it's your turn."
We totally kicked ass at Hero's Duty. Those cybugs didn't even know what hit them. Hiro and I made it up into the finals, but alas we got third place. I felt pretty proud of us all the same though. Third place is nothing to sneeze at. Especially when the people who got first and second place clearly had way too much time on their hands and an inexhaustible source of quarters. Their lack of bathing, blood shot eyes, and geeky t-shirts made that pretty obvious.
"Alright, you ready for donuts, dork?" I asked.
"Yeah, I am. Does this mean that we're friends now?" Hiro asked.
"Sure. Here put your number into my phone," I said, handing it over to him.
"You better give this back," Hiro said sternly, passing me his phone.
I smiled, "Damn, we're going to have to work on your trust issues."
We began walking down to the donut shop. Had I actually made a friend for once in my life? If so, then this was going down on the calendar. The entry will read "Vanellope meets someone who doesn't hate her". This was actually kind of exciting, that is until I handed him his phone back and sent him a test text to make sure I put in the right number.
"Why is my contact name Candy Land Reject!?" I asked, taking great offense to this bullshit.
"You look like a giant mint! I'm sorry!" Hiro said, smiling. Clearly he was not sorry in the least.
I huffed and angrily changed his name in my contacts, "There. That's better."
"Hiro's Duty!? Really? That's what you went with?" Hiro asked.
"It was either that or Suzuki Honda Civic," I shrugged.
"Nice. Real nice. You know, I could change yours to Caucasian Honky Cracker," Hiro retorted.
"Why do Asians have such small tits? Because only As are acceptable," I replied, snickering.
"What do white women make for dinner? Reservations," Hiro replied, grinning back.
"What do Asian men do when they have an erection? They go vote," I replied.
"What do you call a white woman with a yeast infection? A cracker with cheese," Hiro replied.
I gagged, "Could you not?"
"Stop? Sure," Hiro replied, "I've got plenty more where that came from."
I sighed and shook my head, "You know, I think this is the beginning of a fabulous and bullshitty friendship, Hiro's Duty."
"You might be onto something there, Agent Shit Ball," Hiro replied.
(Cue really cool fade out flashback outro)
Hiro's Point of View
Our friendship flowered into an even larger pile of bullshit and racist jokes over time. Do I regret meeting Vanellope? Not at all. She may not sound like it, but she is truly one dynamite gal. I can always count on her to insult me, get me into trouble, and humiliate me in public. All the makings of a true friend. The moment I knew that she really cared about me was when I went up to her and said, "You look really nice today, Nell" and she responded with "Aw thanks. Shrek called and he wants his face back".