When he woke with her in his arms the next day he smiled sadly. Part of him was wishing that he had never allowed himself to feel how perfect achieving his hearts desires could be, but another part of him was happy that he had finally had what he had been dreaming of for more years than he cared to admit.
"Good morning" Elizabeth smiled as she opened her eyes.
"Morning luv" he smiled and kissed her forehead before getting up to get dressed.
He had known that he would have to leave in the morning, had decided it the moment he had given into his desires. Because he had known that there was nothing to stay for. She would start regretting what happened the night before, starting to feel guilty when thinking about her husband, and he wouldn't be able to handle seeing regret in her eyes. He probably wouldn't be able to look at her and know that he would never again have her in the way he had always wanted her, that she would never be his again.
"Jack….?" she trailed of with uncertainty in her voice.
"Don't" Jack asked in an almost pleading tone. "Just let it be Lizzie"
He was desperate to keep her from asking him to stay, desperate for her not to make it any harder for him than it already was.
"Stay Jack" he begged him.
"Why?" he sighed as he turned around to meet her gaze. "What am I staying for?"
"For me!" she stated.
"Am I missing something luv?" Jack asked her bitterly. "Are you not married to Mr. Turner?"
"Yes" she nodded sadly.
"And haven't you said that he's made you happy all of these years? Haven't you given the impression that you have no interest in leaving him?"
"Yes" she sniffled.
"Then what Lizzie?!" he asked. "What?!"
"I can't…." she sobbed.
"You can't what?" he inquired.
"I can't walk away from this again" she admitted. "I don't think I would be able to handle it"
"And I don't think I could handle sharing you, or god forbid loosing you again after having allowed myself to hope that things might be different this time around" Jack countered.
"You cam be a real fool at times" she smiled through her tears.
"How so?" he demanded.
"YOU are the one I want!" she stated in angry desperation. "You've always been the one I wanted! You know that…. You SHOULD know that"
"You chose him!" Jack reminded her. "You bloody married the fool and left me without giving me any clue that it was not what you wanted. And if it wasn't what you wanted then WHY did you do it?"
"Because you scared me!" she defended herself. "You're so intense all of the time! You look at me and I can't breathe… you give me a feeling of being safe and loved that I was frightened of becoming addicted to, that I was already addicted to I guess. All I wanted was to run as far away from you as I possibly could, and all I wanted when we said goodbye was for you to take me in your arms and refuse to let me go"´
"What are you saying here?" Jack encouraged her.
"I'm saying that I am in love with you" she replied resignedly. "I'm saying that I don't want to repeat my mistakes…. Which is why, this time around, I am asking you to do what I wanted you to do all of those years ago. Take me into your arms and promise that you will never let me go again"
"And Will?" Jack wanted to know.
"Will always be an important part of my life, of our sons life. And I will always love him. But it is time to accept that I don't love him in the way that I am supposed to love him, and that what we have is nothing more than a very close friendship"
"And do you plan on telling him that?" Jack pressed on.
"Yes" she promised while looking into his eyes and caressing his cheek. "I don't want to be shared anymore than you want to share me. I don't want to hurt you again Jack, and I am not saying this lightly"
Jack sighed in surrender and pulled her very close to him before kissing the top of her head.
"I am never letting you go" he promised fiercely, doing exactly what she had asked of him, what he had wanted to do all along. "I promise you that"
"So you'll stay?" she asked hopefully.
"For now" he nodded. "And when I leave on my journeys I'll take you with me as often as you want me to"