Thank you to Alexandria M, justkimmy, ThatGirl54 and corbettluv for reviewing :)

A/N: Roman's POV will be added to this chapter.

*Contains sexual content*

I grabbed my clothes and everything I could and put it in a bag. I couldn't stand another day or night in this apartment with my mother. All we do lately is fight more than ever before. We can't seem to get along anymore and it's driving us further apart than we've ever been. Usually, I would go to Leah and talk to her about it because she understood it a little better than anyone else, but we haven't talked since last week. I've barely ever see her anymore.

"You don't do anything while you're here, Dean!" Said my mother in her drunken state. It's said that drunken thoughts or words were sober thoughts and feelings.

"I do nothing?!" I exclaimed. "I do everything while you're out for days at a time! I'm the one that cooks and cleans every time that I'm here. I'm the one that makes sure that all of our clothes and bedsheets are washed every week. I make sure that everything is up to your standards and you dare say that I'm the one that does nothing around here?"

She slapped me so hard that it stung more than it usually did when she put her hands on me. "Don't you dare talk to me like that. I am your mother!"

"No, you're not a mother because you're never here to be one!" I yell. "And when you are around, even then you're not a mom because you're to busy being drunk and high to take care of me. Do you know what I go through because of you? Do you even care that I may have lost the one girl that I've ever wanted because of the fear that you have instilled in me about love?"

My mom looked at me without responding to anything that I've just said to her. She pulled out a cigarette and a lighter. It has become a new bad habit for her, and I didn't want to pick up on it either. "Not once have you ever told me that you loved me and not once have you ever showed me that you cared about me. I found a girl that is literally heaven on Earth for me and I can't keep my shit together for her! I probably lost her because of how stupid I was and now I don't think that I'll ever have a chance with her. You don't have to worry about me anymore, Mom. Sorry I was ever a burden on you."

I take everything that I own, which isn't much and look around the apartment, one last time. It was a one bedroom apartment, but it was tiny as hell. My room was the living room which was the center of all the drug parties that my mother would have. There were still bags of cocaine on the table in the middle of the living room and after walking in on my mother and some random guy, having sex on the same couch that I sleep on, that was the last straw for me.

Opening the door, I take a deep breath and walk out for the last time. My mother won't ever see me again if it was up to me.

...

When I got to Roman's house, I rang the doorbell and waited for only a few moments before he answered the door. He greeted me and gave me a smile as he let me in the door to his house. Roman's house was big and grand. It was luxurious and it was the dream house for every person out there in my situation. It was like a mansion. Hell, to me, it is amansion.

"Can I stay the night?" I asked.

"You can stay as long as you'd like." Roman told me. "You're more than welcomed here."

I nodded. "I still like to ask."

Going upstairs, I went to one of the guest bedrooms and put my things down. I got myself together and went back downstairs to where the party was. It wasn't really much of a party because the only ones there were me, Roman and two girls that I've never seen before a day in my life.

"You need protection?" Roman asked quietly.

"I don't think I want to, tonight." I responded.

Roman looked at me curiously. "Dean Ambrose doesn't want to get a girl tonight? Are you okay?"

I sighed and nodded. "I'm fine, I just don't feel up for it tonight."

He didn't say anything and just nodded. "Okay, that's fine. But if anything, you know where they are."

I went to the kitchen and got myself something to drink. I felt at home sometimes with Roman. We were like brothers and we always had a good time together. His parents liked me and thought that our friendship was truly genuine, which it was. His kitchen though was just the same size as my apartment.

"Hey, what's your name?" Asked the blonde that came into the kitchen.

Looking up, I saw her and was immediately reminded of Leah when I saw her blue eyes. I mentally cursed as I cleared my throat and drank some water.

"Dean. What's yours?" I asked.

"Samantha." She replied. "You don't look to happy."

The girl walked up to me and began playing with my shirt. "I have a lot of things on my mind, so I'm a bit occupied."

"Maybe I can help out with that." She said in a lustful voice.

I looked at her and saw Leah standing in front of me. I shook my head, as if clearing my eyes in an effort to really look. But it was Samantha standing there instead. I was disappointed, not seeing Leah's sweet smile in front of me and my heart hurt. I was hoping to see her tonight, but it's obvious that she may not make it. Roman wouldn't do that to me, inviting her over when there was going to be other females in the house.

I grabbed her hand and took her upstairs. Taking a detour into Roman's room, I got a condom from his drawer and walked back out into the room that I was going to stay in. Closing the door, my lips attacked hers and my hands began to urgently caress her body. We quickly took our clothes off and tossed them on the floor.

I skipped the foreplay and went straight into putting on the condom on what was becoming an erection. I spread her legs open and slid in, feeling the warmth of her body as I began to rock in and out. Her moans began to fill the room as she held on tightly to my arms and shoulders.

Seeing the look on her face, I suddenly began to think about Leah again. I just couldn't shake her from my thoughts and having sex with another girl wasn't making it any better. I tried to enjoy what was going on at the moment, but I couldn't. All I wanted was Leah and for her to be here with me.

I quickened my pace to see if it would make it end faster, but to no avail after a few more minutes. After a few moments of trying to hold it in, not wanting to ruin the moment for her, I just couldn't anymore. After a quick release, I pulled out without waiting for her and threw out my condom. Samantha sat up in bed and looked at me confused and annoyed.

"I wasn't done." She argued. "What's your problem?"

"I just can't." I told her. "I'm sorry. You seem like a great girl, but I just couldn't continue any longer. I think it's best if you just go back downstairs or go home or something. Just know that it has nothing to do with you."

"Can I at least do one thing for you?" She asked.

I looked at her. "What would that be?"

O.O

I was in the living room, on the couch as Megan moved her hips up and down my erected member. Her moans filled the living room as I thrusted into her every time she slid down and palmed her breasts with my hands. Megan's center was heaven right now and I couldnt' get enough. I placed my hands on her hips to thrust a little more into her and felt her beginning to clamp down on my member. I thumbed her clit and felt her hips losing control a few moments later as she released her liquid all over my erection. A few thrusts later, I groaned as I came into the condom, and saying her name. Getting up, I threw the condom out and went back to the living room, watching with a smirk as Megan got dressed.

I was about to put on my pants when she gently pushed me back down on the couch and sat down next to me. Leaning over, she took my member in her warm mouth and began to slowly bob her head. I groaned in pleasure and quietly cursed as I became hard in her mouth. Digging my hand into her hair, I leaned my head back and closed my eyes, enjoying the moment. I palmed her breasts again with one hand and felt my member beginning to throb a few moments later. It wasn't long before I was releasing my liquid deep down her throat and she was taking it all in.

We both got dressed and saw that Samantha had come downstairs with a look of disbelief on her face. Her friend asked what was wrong and she replied with Dean not wanting to finish what they had going on upstairs. I knew that something had to be wrong with Dean. He was never the one to not finish his business with a girl and for him to do so was out of character for him.

I let the girls out and got things together before going back upstairs after a few minutes of just thinking. After coming out of the shower, I knocked on the door and saw Dean open it a few minutes later with his hair wet and in sweats, indicating that he had taken a shower as well.

"Dean, what's wrong?" I asked him. He blinked a few times before letting me in. His bag was at the side of the bed, on the floor and he looked different. He wasn't taking care of himself it seemed. He had started to arrive to classes late, though some would consider it a slip up after the positive strides that he been making since the beginning of the school year. "You're usually the kind to go all night."

"Trust me, I can go all night. I have the stamina, believe me on that. But...I just couldn't." He replied. "I thought I could, but I can't. All I kept thinking about is Leah. Everytime I looked down at her, I saw Leah. I closed my eyes and saw Leah. Samantha would speak and I heard Leah's voice. Her blue eyes reminded me of Leah's. She's all I want, Roman. I was kind of hoping that she would be here tonight, even though I knew that there was a possibility that she wouldn't be. I miss her, Roman and it scares me."

I sat next to him and looked at the floor. "What scares you?"

"I'm not good at this emotional stuff." Dean said, shaking his head. "It's always been hard for me and you know that."

"But it may be good for you to talk it out." I told him in a suggestive tone. "It'll do more damage if you hold it in."

Dean stayed quiet for a moment. "That I feel for her as much as I do. I've never had or wanted a real relationship, and yet with her, it's what I want. It's all that I want. The things that have happened to me emotionally, because of my mom...I just don't want to get so close to someone and then get hurt."

"You can't help who you fall for, Dean." I responded to him. "You just happened to fall for Leah. But you being apart from her is killing you inside, Dean. I can see it in your eyes. You're empty without her."

"I wanted to try to let her get her moment, but I just couldn't continue knowing that I had another girl in my head." Dean continued. "It felt as if I was trying to forget her, but that's the thing. I can't forget the girl who has my heart. There were numerous times when I almost called her by Leah's name."

We stayed quiet for a moment. "Have you and Leah...?"

Dean shook his head. "No, we've never even kissed. I haven't talked to her since that night."

"Did you mean it when you told her to go back to New York?" I asked him.

He looked me in the eyes. "No, I didn't mean any part of it when I told her to go back home."

Dean was being honest. "So then, why did you say it?"

"Because I was stupid." He replied quietly as he looked down in sadness.

O.O

We were leaving Mr. Stapp's calss for the day when he stopped Vanessa. I lingered around a bit, to wait for her.

"Can you tell Leah that I'm proud of her for doing her assignments and her quizzes and handing them in even though she's going through a tough time right now." He told her. My ears immediately went to their conversation when I heard her name. "But she needs to be back to hand in her final project in person. I just want her to be safe, academic wise and not risk her being absent any longer."

"I will." Vanessa told him. "She responds right away when I send her the assignments."

Vanessa walked up to me and as walked out of the room. Leah came back into my mind again for the thousandth time since we stopped talking. I haven't seen her at all in the past two weeks and niether has a lot of people in school who know who she is.

"Where is she?" I asked Vanessa out of curiousity. I thought she'd be the one person to know.

"Leah?" She asked and I nodded. "Dean, she went back to New York."

I stopped dead in my tracks as my feet couldn't seem to move me any further. I didn't want to believe what any part of what I was just told. "She left to New York?"

Vanessa nodded. "Leah left two weeks ago. She told the teachers that it was an emergency, but knowing her situation, I'm not sure. She hasn't given me a real reason for why she left let alone any reason other than her thinking that it would help her out with something."

"When is she coming back?" I asked her sadly. "She is coming back, right?"

"Leah will come back." Vanessa replied. "I just don't know when. She bought a round trip ticket to New York. Why would you get a round trip ticket if you're not going to come back and she's been doing every single assignment from every class we have together so why would she not come back after going through all that trouble?"

Silence filled the air as the hallways became empty. "Leah has to come back to take her finals."

Vanessa nodded. "Exactly. With some of these teachers, no matter how good of a student you are, they won't allow you to make up their final. If Leah fails this semester, she won't be able to start college in the fall unless she goes to summer school to make it up. If she doesn't want to go through all of that, then she needs to come back."

It felt as if somebody had just hit me in the chest. It was one of those things where it feels as if your chest is literally hurts when something is said or done that you don't want to hear or see.

I'm not much of an emotional guy, but right now at this very moment, I was being torn apart. My heart was breaking and I didn't know if I could handle it. Leah actually left the state and went hundreds of miles away.

Roman came up to us and asked what was wrong. Vanessa told him what happened and I'm glad that she did. I didn't know if I had it in me to say anything without lashing out and misplacing my frustration on someone else.

"When is she coming back?" Asked Roman.

"I don't know." Vanessa replied looking at the calender in her phone. "But I don't think it'll be long before she does. Finals are coming up soon but they'll be right here before you know it. Besides, she won't last long without Dean."

It caught my attention. "Why is that?"

"Leah talks about you a lot." She replied. "It started off with her saying how much she misses you. Leah doesn't always make it obvious that she's talking about you, but I know her well enough to know who she's talking about without her having to say their name. Always asking how you are and if you're doing good in school. Leah misses you a lot more than what she says."

I wasn't going to give in that easily though. I was still hurting at the news that Leah had left. I didn't think that she would really go. I didn't mean it when I told her too, but she believed it. Leah was the one thing keeping me from going crazy from this lifestyle that we live and the only one keeping me in school and in check. What the hell am I going to do without her here until she decides to come back?

I want to crawl into a hole and not come back out until I knew that Leah was around again. Even then, I don't know if I'd have the balls to face her after what I told her. How could I be so damn stupid? Now she has my heart all the way in New York and I didn't know if I could handle that for long. I meant it when I told my mother that Leah was my heaven on Earth. I was just too stupid to keep my shit together for her long enough to realize how much she truly meant to me. I feel broken without her by my side.

"I have to go." I told Roman and Vanessa. "If anyone asks for me, then say I had an emergency. I'll see you later, Roman."

"Dean, wait!" Vanessa exclaimed. I hesitated to turn around, but did. "Do you want me to say anything to Leah? I'll be talking to her later today."

I thought for a moment. "Is she happy?"

Vanessa shook her head. "No, she's not. Leah's miserable without you. You always found a way to make her happy, Dean. Even when nobody else could. You should go after her."

"I don't know." I replied. "We're just friends. I was an asshole to her, I doubt she'll want to see me."

She scoffed. "Try telling that to people who'll actually believe that there's nothing there between you and her. You just don't realize that there is."

"Would she come back for me?" I asked curiously.

Vanessa looked at me carefully. "Only if you're the one that tells Leah that you want her too. It's going to be harder for her to believe it if she hears it from somebody else. Leah could take that as us just saying that to get her to come back earlier. So if you truly and genuinely want her to come back to Cinncinati then you have to tell her yourself, Dean. Not me or Roman no matter how much she listens to us."

What if she doesn't feel like loving me? All of me?

A/N: What did you think about Dean stopping himself with the girl at Roman's house and what do you think about the reason why? As Dean's feelings for Leah grow more and more each day and come to light, will Dean go after her to relieve his broken heart or will he just wait around hoping that Leah will return? Do you think he's trying to come up with excuses for why he shouldn't go after her or is it because he's just scared of what might happen if he does?