Chapter 3

I was standing across the room, still in semi-shock when the room grew quiet and everyone turned to face prince Hiccup. I hadn't heard his arrival, but his presence was like that of a calm before the storm. It was something that didn't feel quite there, like a dream, yet it was tangible at the same time. He held his head high, somehow, before Aster turned to give him the news. I couldn't hear what he said, but I knew it would be short and to-the-point. Hiccup's face twisted into a look of confusion at first, then dread, and finally of terrible sadness. He didn't shed a tear, though, as he walked over to the table where his mother's form laid still. All eyes were on him as his lips pressed into a tight line. "Someone… send for my father, he should be out in the city with the grand master knight, and when he's been found… have the church bells rung." A few servants exited the room to do as he had instructed while the women continued to mourn in the corners.

The prince lifted his head. "Aster… bring her some lilies, please. Those were her favorite." He charged. Aster nodded, and left to do so, beckoning for me to leave with him. With the prince's last words being those to Aster, he hastened out of the room. I caught a glimpse of his face as he opened the door, finding it to be oddly devoid of emotion, holding back. He was stronger than I would've given him credit for. Maybe it was still just shock, and he hadn't fully taken it in yet, but you could see it in the way he held his mouth closed tight. He was hiding it away, keeping up appearances. I suddenly wondered what his real face was. Was it radiant, like the first time we met, or overly friendly like with the girls, or even awkward and opinionated like when we went riding? Which was the genuine prince Hiccup? I thought about it, and soon realized that this face… that was him.

Gods know why I wanted to, but my arms ached to comfort the royal. It was obvious he had been hurting for a long time. He left the room before I could do anything, though, rushing out the door. I found my way back over to Aster, who led me through the halls and out into the open air of one of the gardens. The sunlight felt stuffier than usual, like it was trying too hard to be happy. We cut the tips off of all the different kinds of lilies, laying them in the crooks of our arms. Their deep yellow and red pollen fell on our shirts like colored flour, leaving small rust-colored stains. They smelled the same as they had yesterday, but now the fragrance was the signal of an ending, with a heaviness that wasn't there before.

"Aster… who do you think it was?"

My senior only huffed, scowling at the flowers with a sadness in the silvers of his eyes. "I don't 'ave the slightest… but whoevah they are, they deserve worse than what any of us on Earth could evah treat 'em to. Vallhalerama was a good woman… above all else, a fine woman, and an even better queen. Lord knows she was a wonderful, if not a little overprotective, mother. I… can't imagine how Hiccup's taking all this. For his sake… for his sake more than anything I hope they find the bastard." I had learned over the past few days that Aster would rant and yell and be an overall grumpy bunny, but right then I saw what it was like for him to be truly angry. He didn't yell, but his voice held a lower growl that made you quiver. Forget looks, Aster could kill with his words.

When we both had large armfuls of lilies, we put them into matching vases (usually reserved for parties and such). Walking back into the room where the dead queen was being handled by the castle physician was difficult for me. I didn't like seeing corpses, especially those of people I had never met. They made me uncomfortable, bringing back unwanted memories of the crusades. Aster asked the physician and two other servants where they would be taking the queen. They said they would take her to an extra chamber to put her in a bed for the king and prince and other royals to say their prayers and farewells. We followed them as they carried the late queen to said room and laid her down. Aster and I placed the flowers on either side of her on the two bedside tables. Unable to contain my curiosity, I snuck a look at the late queen.

Her eyes had been shut, for which I was grateful. Many people would say she could be sleeping peacefully, but I hated the overdone observation. People had said the same thing about my own mother when she was gone. Sleeping? Who wakes up from death? My eyebrows furrowed, putting a knot in my forehead. Why were all of these memories coming back now? I had repressed them for years, focusing only on myself, on the road ahead. Running was all that mattered, nothing else. What matters now that didn't before? I inquired inwardly.

I was sure she had been a beautiful woman when she was alive. I wondered if her cheeks had held the same rosy tint her son's did. They certainly shared the freckles that graced their cheeks and hands. My curiosity sated, died down, and I looked away quickly. We were coming out of the room when great booming footsteps could be heard down the hall. They were approaching fast, but Aster recognized them immediately. "Step to the side, Jack." He said, walking to put his back against the wall. I followed his lead, wondering why I did so at first. Then the footsteps turned the corner, and a man with a long red beard and terrified eyes came running towards the door we had just left through. When he and a few other men had disappeared behind the door, Aster took the servant's staircase back down to the small lodgings we were provided.

The hallway was in an uproar, and I took note of the lack of kitchen personnel. "Surely it wasn't chef Sheepmeade!" "No… I don't think it would be him… Maybe one off his assistants?" "Well, Fishlegs wouldn't do it. He's too dumb to pull off that sort of thing!" "What if it was the gardener?!" "No! Absolutely not. Aster would never do anything to hurt the prince… and especially not the queen… he was her most avid fanatic after all…" I tried to see Aster's reaction to that particular piece of gossip, wondering what the woman had meant by it. He flinched slightly, but his face stayed in the same frown it had been in since he heard the news. I took a mental picture of the woman, saving it for later if Aster or I would ever need an ally. Couldn't hurt, anyway. Collecting faces was just another habit left from running.

We walked back to the gardener's shed on the side of the castle where we grabbed our tools and supplies. Aster said nothing as we worked through the Earth. It set me on edge, usually he would at least pick on me once or twice for not getting something right, but now he just silently corrected it himself. I left him alone, getting better at knowing when to shut up. I hated the disturbed quiet, it only reminded me that I had thoughts I'd rather keep from thinking. The sun beat down on my back through my shirt and sun hat. Aster had laughed at me for wearing the hat earlier, since it was too big for me, but I'd later explained to him my aversion to sunburns and he'd nodded in surrender.

I felt the dirt beneath my hands. The unwanted memories had brought along unwanted feelings as well. My heart felt heavy and had sunk so far into my stomach that lunch was soon forgotten. Aster felt the same, though he didn't voice an opinion on the matter, so we worked through the time we would've usually spent over the meal instead.

It felt like something had been ripped apart inside of me. Why were all these people hovering around me?! Gods, I just wanted them to go away. I wanted -no, needed- to be alone. There was the ever-present sting behind my eyes. I wouldn't cry in front of these people. They were all crying about my mother. Why should they get to cry? They did it to attract attention to themselves, to show their fake compassion. I hated them all for doing something so selfish. They hadn't let me slip away like I'd wanted to. Instead they kept up the incessant apologies and testimonials. All I wanted was to go and see my mother… what was left of her, anyway.

The only break I got from the crowd was when I excused myself to the lavatory. Inside, I washed my hands, looking in the mirror. People had always said my mother and I looked so similar. She was in the shape of my face and the freckles on my cheeks. We had the same laugh. It was hard to accept that she was gone. I had to see it… see her, for myself. Somewhere in the back of my mind I knew she was gone. I didn't want to acknowledge it. I kept my hands busy with the water, cupping it in my hands, then releasing it back into the bowl again. Unable to calm down, I took a handful and splashed it onto my face, then another, and another, trying to wash away something that wasn't there.

You have to pull yourself together.

I told myself this as many times as it took for me to stop washing and dry my face and hands. Walking back out of the wash room, I was once again bombarded with a fresh new round of nobles. I paid them no mind this time, walking towards my mother's room, telling them all that I had somewhere else I needed to be. As I walked through the crowded halls, busy with people coming and going and trying to get a look at my mother. The crowd got denser the further I went, but when they realized it was me coming through, they quickly parted. Without realizing it, I had come to the door behind which my mother would lay. Two guards stood outside, pushing eager nobles out of the way. They were about to treat me the same way before they saw my face. "Prince Horrendous… Your father has left. You may go inside now."

Taking a deep breath, I tried to steady myself for the scene ahead. One of the guards opened the door, allowing me to go inside. I walked into the dark room, the curtains drawn, lit only by a few candelabras. The scent of lilies lightly hit my nose as I walked in. The fragrance reminded me of my childhood, back when my mother would come to watch my lessons in the garden. Aster would always give me a lily to take to her when the lesson was over. She'd smile and nod at Aster across the way, then take me by the hand inside for a snack.

Now the familiar smell was a sort of comfort. I walked to the edge of the bed, where a chair was. I assumed my father had sat in that seat not too long ago. I took his place, lowering myself into the chair. Finally I found the courage to look up and see the sight I had hoped wouldn't be there. She looked lifeless, which made sense, considering…

I let out a shaky sigh. Now that it would be okay for the tears to flow, they wouldn't. "Morning, mum." I told her, laying both of my hands atop the blanket. There was no reply, which I'd expected. I don't know why I said the words, it was already deep into the afternoon, but I just felt the need to say them. Her hand was still reached out from where my father had held onto it. I pushed my hand toward hers, tentatively, until I had laid my hand inside hers. It felt wrong. The warmth of the hand that had led me through my life was now gone. As I realized this, I finally let myself accept that she was lost. There was nothing I could do, she would be gone and would stay that way until I would join her on my own deathbed.

I don't know how long I spent sitting there, just holding her hand, before one of the girls came to fetch me for dinner. Before leaving, I pulled a lily out of it vase, laying it inside my mother's hand. "That's from Aster." I told her, before leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. "…Good-night, mother."

With those words, I left the room. The guards looked away, for which I was grateful. Though I hadn't cried, I was sure I didn't look my best. The maid that had come to get me earlier had already left. I walked down the now empty halls to the dining room. At the head of the table sat my father, a blank expression on his face. We had the same way of dealing with things. We kept quiet. We kept to our own thoughts. It was easier that way, not having to let someone in. Look what happened when you did... you'd just end up losing them anyway.

Perhaps it was a blessing that I hadn't had many strong relationships if that was how things would turn out. I took my seat, each noise I made echoing in the large hall. Two assistants came out, each holding a plate. Usually there would be a third… but he wouldn't be needed anymore. I wondered if that would be something that kept happening. Would it eventually all fade out, even from memory? Would there come a time when I would forget about the third assistant? Would there be a time when the scent of lilies no longer brought me fond memories of the days spent as a clueless child?

I didn't know. I didn't want to. For once in my life, I didn't want to think. I… didn't want to be alone. I didn't want to face the quiet. I stood up, pushing my chair in. My father finally looked up, giving me a questioning gaze. "Excuse me." I said, walking to the door. "Horrendous!" My father called, but made no other effort to try and stop me. I found myself walking to one of the gardens. The sunset in the distance told me that the day would be over in less than an hour. I found myself wandering, unsure of what to do. I didn't feel like riding, but I didn't feel like sitting down either. I had lapped the castle three times when a movement caught my eye. In one of the gardens was Jack. Aster had been working in another garden on the opposite side, but Jack was just sitting in one of the large lounge swings. He had his head tilted towards the sky, his mouth slightly agape as if he were speaking.

Abandoning the small track I had been following, I walked towards him, looking for some conversation. As I got closer, I realized that he wasn't speaking, but singing. He had a nice voice. It sounded like the carolers at Christmastime. He was still singing softly, not having noticed my approach. As he neared a part he couldn't remember, he began to whistle. The song would go high in pitch for a moment, then drop low and I wondered how he made himself do that. When he reached the end of the song I let my presence be known with light applause. His head snapped forward in surprise, his hands coming down to his lap from where they had been on his neck before. "Prince Hiccup?" He asked, not expecting it to have been me. "You have a beautiful voice." I told him, sitting down beside him. He rolled his eyes, "Nah… but thanks." He gave a small crooked smile before it drooped into a concerned frown. I could feel it coming, but I didn't want the words to leave his mouth. "Please… Please don't apologize. I'm tired of telling everyone I'm fine. I just… need away from myself."

The words were odd, but Jack seemed to understand what it meant as the frown left his face. "Alright, Um… Have you ever heard that song before?" He asked. Happily accepting the distraction, I turned back to him, "No, I haven't. What is it?" He smiled and leaned in. It's called Veni Creator Spiritus. I heard it in a church I had taken refuge in when… well, after a long trip. It's meant to be sung by a choir of women but… I guess I just took a liking to it." He said, his eyes lighting up at the story. I nodded, "It suits you well. N-not because it's meant to be sung by girls! It's just you, um, you sing it well." I mentally slapped myself for the slip-up while Jack let out cheery guffaws at my side. I felt the blush coming to my cheeks, reminding me of why I had been blushing earlier…

The prince suddenly looked away. He had been blushing at his folly in words before, but now his cheeks were lit up as red as the sunset. "Prince Hiccup? Are you alright?" I asked. He tried to hide himself by putting a hand over his mouth, stretching his fingers to cover as much of the blush as he could. "I'm per-! Ahem... I'm, uh, perfectly fine." He said. His voice had cracked. I didn't laugh, even though I felt the corners of my mouth begging to pull upward. "Say… that blush wouldn't happen to be about earlier, would it?" I asked, knowing full well what I was getting myself into. My words had been a bulls-eye, I could tell by the way he averted his eyes and turned away from me. "A-Absolutely not! And I'm not blushing!" He said, covering his face fully now.

"Pffft! Oh, sure you're not, Hiccup- Oh! Um, I mean, prince Hiccup." I had to correct myself. Hiccup waved it off, though, his face still half covered with his other hand. "It's fine. I was kind of hoping you'd leave off the 'prince' soon anyway." He said. I shook my head. Who ever heard of a prince that didn't like being called a prince? "Alright then, Hiccup, you sure you're not blushing?" I wasn't about to leave the subject, it was too fun watching him. He acted nothing like my other "friends" had. Robbers and ruffians weren't exactly easy blushers. "I'm not!" He objected, once more covering his face. "Oh, really? How am I supposed to believe that when I can't see your face as proof?" I asked, a smirk crawling up my lips.

"You can just…ugh! Fine, fine! I'm blushing! Happy now?" He finally gave in, uncovering his eyes to glare at me. I smiled. "Yes. Very, actually." I nudged an elbow into his ribs. "I win." He laughed, his blush finally dying down a little. "Oh! I was going to ask you how you did that earlier." He started. I tilted my head in confusion, "Did what?" He turned towards me, his eyes focused and determined. "How you whistled. I've tried to before but I just can't do it." He said. His seriousness made me laugh a little. "You can't whistle?" He pouted a little. "No. Like I said, I've tried but it just won't… happen." Just how much thought had he put into whistling? I chuckled once more at the silly prince, before turning to face him. "Um… alright. I guess you start by puckering your lips." I said, modeling for him. It looked a little funny, and I laughed inwardly at how strange the words sounded. He did as I had explained sincerely, following my lead. "And then you just sort of keep your lips in a tight 'o' while you just, um, blow." I modeled this for him, making the first three notes to the song I had been singing earlier.

He tried, and failed, but had the right idea. You could tell he'd almost get it out and then it just wouldn't… happen. Just like he'd said. I knitted my brow in confusion, leaning in to see if there was anything he was outwardly doing wrong. After a while of just watching him blow fast air, I realized what the problem was. "You're tucking your lips inward." I said. My sudden thought shocked him, and he stopped blowing for a second. "Huh?" His lips were still in a small pout since he had been puckering for a while. I nodded my head, "That's what you're doing wrong. At the very end you tuck your lips in instead of pushing them out a little further."

I was proud at my observation, which Hiccup seemed to take to heart. "Oh… ok. Um… I'll try that, then." He said, only just realizing how awkward his request had been earlier. He puffed his lips out once more, blowing again. This time he focused hard towards the end, where he would usually tuck his lips under, and forced them forward instead. I waited patiently, wanting to prove my idea correct. Just then, a small high-pitched noise escaped his lips. "Ah A-ha! J-Jack! I did it!" He beamed, eyes bright with excitement. I chewed on the inside of my cheek, trying not to laugh too hard at his reaction. "Good job." I told him, reaching over to pat his back. He flushed a light pink once more, but he just couldn't keep his smile down. "Um Thanks, Jack. That was… fun." He told me. I nodded. "Glad to hear it."

Suddenly the darkness around us caught his eye, and he jumped off the swing. "I'd better get inside, they'll start worrying about where I am." He said, wobbling awkwardly on one foot before turning to smile at me. He looked different from earlier, his shoulders no longer weighed down and his smile reaching his eyes. I was glad I had helped him look that way, knowing for myself how hard the first day was. When he got to his room his smile would fade, but at least he had this small moment of happiness. I could give him that much. He rubbed at his arms as a chilly night breeze swept through the garden, ruffling his hair and revealing two small braids hidden on the inside. "Good-night, Jack. I'll see you in the morning." He said with a smile. I nodded, "Good-night. Sleep well… Don't let the boogeyman get you." I said with a wink. Hiccup rolled his eyes, "Alright. Pleasant dreams." He said, before turning towards an entrance into the castle.

The stars had poked out from beneath their dark cover. Some of them twinkled slightly while others glowed deep reds and blues. I found myself looking up once more into the great wide expanse. I was about to begin whistling the tune from before again when I heard someone approaching. I turned to see that it was Aster, but he was facing away from me, towards the castle. Upon further inspection, I realized that he wasn't just facing the castle, but looking up at a window on the upper floor. The window belonged to the room the late queen had been placed in earlier. I wondered what Aster was doing so late, just staring at a window. I was about to say something, but he began speaking first.

"Hello, Val, it's me… How did you like the lilies? I made sure to pick the very best… There were lots of the stargazers bloomin', and I know those are your favorite so…" Aster paused, bringing his hand up to his face and turning to where I could make out his profile in the moonlight. "We hadn't talked for a while, so I figured it was time I said somethin'." Aster gave a dark chuckle, even though it was lacking any humor. "Guess I'm a bit late." Letting his hand slide down, I could see the pain in his green eyes from where I sat. I wondered if I should say anything, but my curiosity got the best of me, and I just listened. "You know, you nevah answered my question… Lord knows I wish you would have, any answer you could've given would be bettah than this torture of never knowin'." He paced back and forth a few steps. "You… You knew I loved you. I know you did. I… well, I basically told you so every day… Guess that's what I get for fallin' in love with a princess…" At those words, his tears spilled free.

They shocked me, and I felt like a horrible intruder, but I just couldn't stop watching. I kept my breath still, making sure he wouldn't notice me as I huddled further down below the back of the swing. Aster let a few muffled sobs escape his lips. "Even though you aren't here anymore… I promise I'll take care of Hiccup. He's already like my own son." After this, Aster paused for a small moment,

"Hell… he is my son."

Wow dang. Not even I saw this coming.

Anywhoo, If you're going to comment would you please help me out? I can't decide which direction I want the story to go in since they lead to two very different stories but I can't pick, so if you could please comment with either the word "Babycakes" or "Sugarplum" whichever one gets more comments I will go that direction!

Thanks :)